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Tag: Things That Make Me Die Inside (21-30 of 750)

David Blaine is neither real nor magic

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It just seems very obvious to me that David Blaine is some sort of wizard or alien, sent here from an entirely different realm to infatuate us with magic so as to slow down the process of science. READ FULL STORY

'Castle': Did you see the [spoiler] twist coming?

Well done, show. Well done.

I had my eye on Monday night’s episode of Castle for a few reasons — the biggest of which being that I loved the idea that a killer had seemingly created physical clones of Lanie and Espo. (!!) What was the killer’s connection to them? What was his or her evil angle? Would this new, totally twisted person get nabbed during the hour or be around for a while?

The answer: This person’s already been around for a while.

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Everything you always wanted to know about Matt Lauer and Al Roker's prostate health* -- VIDEO

Looks like Stephen Colbert was a little too soon to propose a new Today show segment: “Where in the World is Matt Lauer’s Dignity?”

As announced yesterday, both Lauer and his Today pal Al Roker underwent live prostate exams on the air this morning. (And yes, there was a method to their madness: The show is supporting the men’s health initiative No Shave November, which raises awareness for issues like prostate and testicular cancer.)

In case you’re curious: Lauer’s prostate is A-okay. Roker’s is — gulp — a little enlarged, “but not terrible” according to Dr. David Samadi.

Though the procedure is a little uncomfortable, Lauer guesses that there’s something else holding men back from getting their exams: “I think a lot of guys are also concerned about the embarrassment factor of it, so my advice would be find a doctor you’re very comfortable with.” And don’t worry, he continued: “That embarrassment factor is not going to be an issue.” I mean, as long as your name is “Matt Lauer.”

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From the makers of 'Friday': Finally, an alphabet song for the YOLO generation! -- VIDEO

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Are you an entitled millennial who never learned to read good? (Are you making your overprotective helicopter dad read this post to you right now?) If so, Internet “hitmaker” Patrice Wilson has just the “song” for you.

In “Friday,” he taught you the days of the week. In “It’s Thanksgiving,” he taught you that there is a holiday called Thanksgiving. And now, with this latest purposefully terrible wannabe viral music video, he’ll teach you something even more basic: The letters of the alphabet. Or at least everything before “Q.”

The new song’s title, no joke, is just “ABCDEFG.” (Somehow, I feel like we should give props to Patrice for managing to get the order right.) It’s sung by Alison Gold of questionable “Chinese Food” fame, and its faux-inspirational nonsense lyrics make “Friday” sound like Faulkner. Seriously, don’t play this song for anyone hoping to learn English; it’ll only confuse them.

Also, the video features Wilson peering into 11-year-old Alison’s bedroom window, and the tween confusedly flipping through an ancient paperback dictionary before getting into a strange van that has just pulled up outside her front door, which takes her to a club where she drinks a glass of punch that Patrice Wilson has drugged. With “Puppet Potion.” Also, at one point, she sings solfège syllables without tying them to any recognizable diatonic scale, which is super confusing.

I guess you can watch it if you really want:
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'The Client List' canceled after major season 2 cliffhanger: But we need answers!

It’s official: Lifetime has canceled The Client List, a.k.a. my guiltiest pleasure on television. After two years of watching Riley Parks go from housewife to dirty masseuse to potential murderer, I’m now expected (read: forced) to walk away from the show just as it was about to give me some answers. What have I done to deserve this?! Is it too much to ask to put a pregnant Jennifer Love Hewitt back in her stilettos for one more teeny tiny little season? She doesn’t even have to massage people anymore. I’m willing to compromise.

For those of you who need a refresher course, season 2 ended with Riley’s world essentially imploding. The police were hot on her trail, she had just burned down her own massage parlor (potentially killing a wanted criminal in the process), and the two most important men in her life had finally figured out that she was hiding a massive secret. Allow me to paint you a picture: A beaten up Riley stood in front of two gorgeous men (who wanted answers) as her business burned to the ground behind her and sirens approached. Her last words were literally, “I can explain.” Sorry Riley, but you’ll never get the chance. And now, what was a good tease has turned into what might be the worst final line of a show … ever.
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Reasons Dolly Parton agreed to rap in an Afro wig on Queen Latifah's talk show -- VIDEO

1. By the time she realized Queen Latifah didn’t mean “gift-wrapping,” it was already too late.

2. She’s seen The Wedding Singer one too many times.

3. If she hadn’t, the Queen would have invited that tramp Jolene to guest star instead.

4. Miley told her it would be a great idea.

5. She lost a bet, maybe?
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I'm Still Not Over... Shadow's almost-death in 'Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey'

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Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey was a perfect family movie. It was funny. It was inspirational. It had talking pets! So when my parents let me watch it when I was 5, it seemed like a socially acceptable parenting decision. And it was. To this day, I love that movie. It’s one of my all-time favorites, and I’ll probably show it to my kids one day. However, that doesn’t mean I watch it all the time, mainly because I can’t so much as think about the scene where Shadow falls into that hole without crying. Let me take a moment and paint the picture for those of you who aren’t crying (misery loves company, right?): READ FULL STORY

Inconceivable! Criminal mastermind calls himself the 'Dread Pirate Roberts,' ruins 'The Princess Bride' for everyone

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The FBI has caught the man allegedly behind Silk Road, a notorious e-commerce site that trafficked illegal goods and services. His real name is Ross William Ulbricht — but online, the 29-year-old called himself “the Dread Pirate Roberts.” As in the character from The Princess Bride.

Say it with us: “Inconceivable!”

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I'm Still Not Over... Benson and Stabler never getting together on 'Law & Order: SVU'

Like most television addicts, I am a big ‘shipper. I root hard for the couples I love. I cheered for FriendsRoss and Rachel, for ER‘s Carter and Abby, for Friday Night LightsTim and Lyla, for The O.C.’s Ryan and Marissa, and the list goes on. Confession: I even cheered for Xena and Hercules. But looking back through the years, I realized that there has rarely been a time when I genuinely went down with my ship, as they say. Sure, Carter and Abby didn’t make it, but they always had their flirtation. Rachel, of course, got off the plane, and even though Marissa died, she was still Ryan’s last thought as he attempted to move on (into bachelorhood). Oh and in case you’re wondering, I’m still holding out hope for Tim and Lyla.

But there has been one ‘ship that I have been fighting to keep afloat for years now, and I refuse to let it sink. Refuse! I’m talking about Law & Order: SVU‘s longest tension-filled relationship between onetime partners Elliot Stabler and Olivia Benson.
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Kanye West feuds with Jimmy Kimmel on Twitter

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International buffoon and INFREQUENT ALL-CAPS TWITTER USER KANYE WEST is freaking out against Jimmy Kimmel right now on Twitter. Mr. Kardashian is upset about a segment from Wednesday’s Jimmy Kimmel Live (embedded below) that used child actors to spoof Kanye’s recent crazytown BBC interview.

It’s somewhat painful to read, but I’ve found my new favorite hashtag: #NODISRESPECTTOBENAFFLECK

Big-time NSFW content — updated with Kimmel’s on-air reaction — ahead. READ FULL STORY

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