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Tag: Things That Make Me Die Inside (11-20 of 750)

'The Bachelor' premiere: Dog Lover, Free Spirit, and other ambiguous 'job' titles

What would you want your “occupation” chyron to say if you were on The Bachelor? (Just go with it.)

I’d be fine with “Beach Stroller,” “Cheese Whisperer,” or “TV Recapper,” all of which are true depending on the hour. If we’re going for every-second-of-every-day accuracy, though? “Bum.”

Here are the most creative job titles of The Bachelor: Juan Pabs premiere (read our full recap here):

Dog Lover

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WHO? WHO PAYS YOU TO LOVE DOGS? READ FULL STORY

'Celebrity Big Brother' contestant Evander Holyfield says homosexuality is disability -- VIDEO

Here we go again.

Boxer Evander Holyfield, who is currently on the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother, is in hot water for remarks he made on the program comparing homosexuality to a disability, saying both can be treated by a doctor. All together now: Ughhh.

Holyfield made the remarks on Sunday when reality star Luisa Zissman asked him if there were any gay boxers, according to TMZ. He responded that homosexuality is something doctors can fix.”That ain’t normal!” he says. “The Bible lets you know what’s wrong and what’s right.” He continued his “handicap” analogy: “If you were born, and your leg was turned this way, what do you do? Go to the doctor and get it fixed…The only thing I’m trying to tell you is you know how handicapped people, you can’t say because they’re born that way you can’t move that…Yes, it is a choice.”

When Zissman repeatedly told him he was wrong, and also that they shouldn’t even be having this conversation in the 24/7 camera house, Holyfield replied he was “just telling her my opinion.” While the content of what he’s saying is obviously offensive, the conversation between the two was fairly civil.

Here’s where things get interesting: Unlike on the most recent version of the U.S.’s Big Brother — which also made headlines for racist and homophobic remarks by many of the castmates — on the celebrity U.K. version, producers called out the negative remarks instead of just letting things play out without interference. Holyfield — who never apologizes —  was brought into a room and told by producers his comments were “inappropriate,” and they “aren’t the views that are held by a large section of society.” He was then given a warning to not say remarks like that again, but he continues to be on the show.

Watch both the conversation and the talk with producers below, courtesy of TMZ: READ FULL STORY

Bravo's 'Toned Up' premiere: Which beach babe just dug a hole and peed in the sand?

Very few people will be searching for recaps of Toned Up, Bravo’s new late-night dump reality series, which features two super-hot women who’ve become super-rich YouTube stars simply by unrolling their yoga mats and doing basic exercises in unison….on the beach! READ FULL STORY

Shia LaBeouf continues to plagiarize apologies

I have just about had it with this troll. Shia LaBeouf — or as I find it easier and more reasonable to call him for some reason, Shia Beowulf — will not stop fake-apologizing on Twitter IN THE WORDS OF OTHER PEOPLE. Since admitting he plagiarized Daniel Clowes’ comic Justin M. Damiano in a short film, LaBeouf has been lifting his fake-apology language from Eliot Spitzer, Russell Crowe, BP CEO Tony Hayward, Alec Baldwin, Shepard Fairey, Mark Zuckerberg, and perhaps the most trustworthy source of all: Yahoo Answers. And he’s at it again with three new snippets of terrible performance art today.

Who’s Actual Plagiarist Shia LaBeouf copying now? Let’s check it out (and then please never follow up on him ever again)! READ FULL STORY

Patton Oswalt's eHarmony coach in 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty' is a real thing. Plus: FREE online dating advice

Throughout The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I never really viewed Patton Oswalt’s character Todd — Walter’s personal eHarmony counselor who goes above and beyond the call of duty — as legitimate. I just thought, “Huh, well, that’s an interesting way for Ben Stiller to sneak his funny buddy into the movie.” Most of the time I assumed Todd might be fictional, another element of Walter’s overactive imagination, and that eHarmony was in on the joke.

“I’m incredibly dumb,” my own eHarmony profile might say — because NOT QUITE!

eHarmony says it did not pay for promotion within the film. But now, inspired by the film, the dating site really does offer a personal counseling service called eH+, for $5,000 instead of the $500 the 2013 version of Walter Mitty shelled out (as James Thurber rolled around in his grave).

“The counselor is going to have a lot of power,” eHarmony’s Grant Langston told MarketWatch. “The service is also designed to minimize the rejection and anxiety that comes with online dating.”

The “factual” portion of this post ends here; the rest is pure crazy!

Good God in aHarmonious heaven! FIVE GRAND? And the matchmaker won’t be a household name like Patton Oswalt or Patti Stanger? Absolutely absurd. There is no amount of dollars that will minimize the rejection and anxiety that comes with online dating. Listen up! (Wait, am I about to turn PopWatch into an online dating advice column? Sure am. Last Sunday of the year.) Your wacky big sister Annie is gonna share The Secret Life Force of Online Dating with the very few of you still reading, for free. And the secret…. is…. READ FULL STORY

Kanye got Kim a bag of butts for Christmas

Kanye West and his ever-evolving children’s art project, Kim Kardashian, have welcomed a new member to their family — and it’s way bigger than their baby! It’s a custom-painted Hermès handbag featuring a surrealist nude portrait by George Condo (the same artist who did the covers for West’s 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy).

This thing is so hideous it’s hilarious. You have to see it. You don’t. You shouldn’t. It’s your call.

WARNING: CRAZY SH*T BELOW READ FULL STORY

Happy Festivus! Air your 2013 grievances here

Need I remind you, Seinfeld lovers? Festivus is your heritage. It’s part of who you are. It’s December 23rd — time to go dig the bare aluminum pole out of the crawl space and air your grievances to family and friends before challenging them to the Feats of Strength tonight!

Relive Frank Costanza’s holiday tradition and help me RAIN BLOWS against all of the parties who have wronged us this year, below. READ FULL STORY

Victoria's Secret Fashion Show: Taylor Swift wishes

I am just kidding about Taylor Swift — who could easily be a V.S. Angel if she dropped the mic, ruffled up some feathers, and listened a wee bit harder for the sound of a bell jingling on a passerby’s g-string.

Poof! Wings granted.

READ FULL STORY

Why I've finally quit watching 'The Voice'

Before The Voice‘s first season premiered, it was marketed as the reality singing competition that would get rid of all the gimmicks. It was about nothing but pure talent. There weren’t judges, but instead, there were friendly coaches, who would find good vocalists and help them become great. The auditions were blind, which ensured that only the very best singers would get the chance to compete on the show, regardless of their appearance. It was all about the notes, the runs, the falsettos, and the voices that sent chills down viewers’ spines. This was The Voice.

Five seasons later, I’ve finally given up on the show. To me, season 1 was the only one that got things 100 percent right. From the moment Javier Colon started singing “Time After Time” in his blind audition, it was clear that we had just met The Voice of the season. I’m not saying he had the biggest voice, because I don’t think that’s what this show is about. It’s about having that talent, plus a little something extra that makes your voice different but is impossible to put into words. And Colon defined that.

After joining Team Adam, Colon continued his climb to the top. Each week, he was the clear leader until he was eventually crowned the winner. It wasn’t a surprising ending, but it was the right one. And viewers tuned in every week to hear Colon’s smooth-as-silk  performance.

Cut to now, four seasons later, and The Voice finds itself in an unhealthy dilemma that seems to make it impossible for us to get through a season without an “upset.” Full disclosure: I can’t speak much about season 2 winner Jermaine Paul, because I didn’t watch that entire season. But I can speak to the pattern that was formed in seasons 3 and 4, and more importantly, what it is about season 5 that has made this fan walk away from her television for good.
READ FULL STORY

White House turns National Thanksgiving Turkey pardon into 'The Hunger Games'

This year, the White House decided to spice up the annual ceremony pardoning a select turkey and naming it the National Thanksgiving Turkey. While the ceremony is on Wednesday, you can vote via Twitter and Facebook to choose which turkey should be granted the pardon. Voters can choose between Little Monster Caramel and “proud strutter” Popcorn. While the White House most likely intended to merely augment social media engagement, the campaign more resembles how a Capitol resident would enjoy watching tributes fight to the death in The Hunger Games.

The results for the victor are not as dramatic as it seems — both turkeys will be pardoned. Nevertheless, the implications of choosing which turkey should “win” brings questions on what would happen if a turkey should “lose.” Many Americans will eat turkey for Thanksgiving, but it’s not like we want to choose which turkey to save and which one to slaughter, especially via social media. The White House’s intense campaign is at once hilarious, bizarre, and horrifying. Effie Trinket would be proud.

Check out the new Arena below:
READ FULL STORY

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