I can’t get over how much So You Think You Can Dance contestant Hayley Erbert resembled a super sequin-y Allison Williams last night. Anyone else? Bueller? Brian? Oh well. READ FULL STORY
Tag: Things That Are Classy (11-20 of 628)
Ah, social media — how did we ever stalk our exes without it?
Of course, checking in on a former love carries big risks — as Roseanne Barr discovered a few days ago, when someone informed her that her ex-husband Tom Arnold had recently tweeted about getting rid of some old wedding videos.
Though Barr and Arnold divorced nearly 20 years ago — and both have been married at least once since — there still seem to be some raw feelings between them. So when Barr responded to Arnold’s message with a tart tweet of her own, he replied in kind, leading to a drawn-out sparring match filled with spiteful accusations (“You sold my grandmother’s sewing machine”), dismissive condescension (“Yes mother dear”), and outright hostile insults (“For christ sakes. I remember when you used to be a comedian”).
Don’t worry, though — it all ends on a positive note, with Roseanne congratulating Tom on the recent birth of his son Jax, and even doing the kid’s star charts, or something. Good; to paraphrase comedian Morgan Murphy, I hate it when Mom and Dad fight.
Cigars… vapes… cookies…
I really wouldn’t mind a sequel to the 1989 Shelley Long vehicle Troop Beverly Hills. The most cherished movie of my childhood is no cinematic masterpiece, so this would hardly be sacrilege. I figure if this is really gonna be the film most often running through my head like a skunk on a misdirected trail (oh, the shame!), the story may as well continue. So sack up, hobos, and pour some wine into that stew: It’s cookie time. Again.
READ FULL STORY
This week, military man Jonathan and surfer/”adventure model”/experienced tent dweller Alison are thrust upon the Maldive Islands — specifically, “the worst island on the planet,” where, due to high temps and deadly sea life, “no living species could survive more than a week.”
Lovely! Perfect locale for a reality show about nude Americans. I’m in. READ FULL STORY
It’s Fourth of July weekend, so why not go see a Spanish movie?
I just wanted to share that I recently suffered/indulged in one of my biggest LOL spasms of 2013 during the absolutely ridiculous dance scene in Pedro Almodóvar’s new film I’m So Excited (Los amantes pasajeros, in theaters now). It’s not complicated: The three first-class flight attendants (Carlos Areces, Raúl Arévalo, and Javier Cámara, pictured) just vamp around to the Pointer Sisters’ hit, on a plane, in the middle of a life-threatening flight. It sounds annoying and probably would be annoying to many humans. But I died. And each time I thought the laugh-wave had passed, all I had to do was look at any other character’s facial expression — delight! disgust! the theater! — and I was right back in it. It’s a complete sh*tshow of WTF and WHY? My point is this: If you’re in the right mood, this movie is so absurdly fun.
I’m So Excited is subtitled, super sexual, and full of fast-talking nonsense. Most characters are gay, in denial about being gay, or will become gay in the next few hours. So it’s definitely not everyone’s Peninsula Airlines (which may as well be Penis Airlines) cup of Valencia Cocktail. Our critic Owen Gleiberman says the film is “like a helium balloon with a leak in it,” which I totally get. It’s not perfect. It’s crazy. But you might be crazy! I’m crazy, and I was really into it. If you’d rather be attacked by rapid-fire flight attendant bitchery than minions, zombies, or the government, this could be your best-bet holiday weekend trip.
Giggle fit aside, the bottom line is that I’ll see any Almodóvar movie (again and again and again) for the visual presentation alone. Even the fonts in the opening credits were next-level, and by that I mean they looked straight out of the early ’80s. But they were so bright and oddly shaped and unexpected. Perhaps you get what I mean. And every frame in all of his films is like its own piece of art. I don’t know how he does it — camera angles? makeup? just a unique sense of casting? — but each actor’s face is so flawless at every moment, their overreactions somehow “just enough” for me. I guess all the hallucinogens worked. All I wanna do now is watch early Almodóvar movies. I suppose I can wait until sundown.
Anyway: This is a frothy treat. You can zone out and jump right back in. Sobriety is not necessarily encouraged.
Anyone else have a similarly trippy experience with I’m So Excited? Do share.
We’ve gotten a landslide of mail about the All-Time Greatest issue, much of it along the following lines:
“Dear Dips–t Editors:
How could could you possibly be so dips—-y?
You put [name of masterpiece] on your Top 100 list even though it fully sucks. I mean, even my 8-year-old sister who drools when she sleeps knows the immense power of its suckage! Yet you totally ignored the awesomeness of [name of something pretty good]. You can explain yourself but I don’t care, and won’t listen, and hate you. Please die. Sincerely, A longtime subscriber” READ FULL STORY
Sitting perfectly still while watching Ciara dance in videos counts as working out, right?
Upon repeat viewings of the new video for Ciara’s “I’m Out” (featuring Nicki Minaj), I’ve realized that the choreography here is not as aggressively unachievable as the dancing queen’s usual fare. A lot of the moves are mere poses that YOU could do — and have probably already done — in the shower! Friends, it’s time for a body party. A guide: READ FULL STORY
Thank God for HD, right? (I don’t care what any of the judges say. These still look amazing.)
It’s all about the final Pressure Test on MasterChef. Last week’s lemon meringue pie did Bimi in, and this week two home chefs had to enter a sweat-streaked macaroon WAR ZONE to fight for their places in summer’s hottest competition of who can
stir up the most sh*t cook random stuff the best. Who would ultimately fall apart easier than his own confection? READ FULL STORY
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