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Tag: The Colbert Report (61-70 of 112)

Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon become six-month mortal enemies. So who's Colbert's new BFF?

Sept. 3rd marked a momentous occasion for Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon: The end of their six-month BFF courtship. Only problem is, both men forgot the date, as they are both terrible at counting on their fingers and keeping track of the months. The two figured it out when Fallon dropped by The Colbert Report Thursday night to bring his temporary friend his favorite tea (Jasmine Pomegranate Zinger!) and take a trip down memory lane (through their Pensieve!). After re-living all the fun (tandem bike riding, slumber parties, killing finding a drifter), Colbert and Fallon soon realized they’d already surpassed their friendship expiration date. (“I just realized I haven’t liked you for twelve days,” Colbert says.) In addition to already being Emmy rivals on Sunday, they would now have to be eternal enemies… for six months. Thankfully, someone special in the audience volunteered to be Colbert’s new BFF. Let’s just say it’s another person with a penchant for giggling. Watch the full, hilarious clip: READ FULL STORY

Gerard Depardieu blames plane incident on prostate problems, Stephen Colbert lampoons 'Anderson Pooper'

Gerard Depardieu was “stone-cold sober” when he publicly urinated in a plane cabin this week, his friend Edouard Baer, who was traveling with him at the time, said in a statement to French media. As reported by BBC News, Baer claims he passed his fellow actor a bottle to relieve himself since he was told he could not use the restroom while the plane was stuck on the tarmac and it simply overflowed. “Gerard was upset at this and offered to clean up the mess,” Baer said. “He has prostate problems and it was very worrying and humiliating for him.”

Now, the story has shifted to Anderson Cooper’s gigglefest and weakness for “celebrity poop puns” while reporting the news. His rival Stephen Colbert poked fun of “Anderson Pooper” on last night’s Colbert Report. Watch that below. READ FULL STORY

Stephen Colbert: Michele Bachmann polls well with people she paid to vote for her

Stephen Colbert’s campaign to propel Rick Parry to victory in the Ames Republican Straw Poll failed, but he was simply outmaneuvered. As eventual winner Michele Bachmann explained to a crowd of supporters, she was offering voters an air conditioned tent, chairs, Randy Travis LIVE!, and a petting zoo! Also… money. (Which is the norm for the Ames straw poll.) Her campaign reportedly sponsored 6,000 people for the $30 fee it cost to vote. Some rushed right to the polls to deliver Bachmann her victory. Others, apparently, went to the mall.

“Bachmann got a commanding 80 percent of the votes she paid for,” said Colbert. “That’s pretty impressive. I say this proves she could win the general election assuming she can get 50 million voters into a field, pack them with barbecue, and let their children pet Randy Travis.” Take a look at Colbert’s post-Ames analysis. READ FULL STORY

Stephen Colbert PAC commercials target Texas gov Rick Perry

With James Brolin from The West Wing Texas governor Rick Perry poised to enter the Republican presidential race tomorrow — the same day as the important Ames Straw Poll in Iowa — he already has more to worry about than Mitt Romney, Michele Bachmann, and other rival candidates. He has to worry about Rick Parry. Though Perry isn’t officially on the ballot tomorrow, his supporters are encouraging voters to write-in his name as their top choice. Not so fast, says Stephen Colbert’s ColbertSuperPAC. The semi-serious political action committee takes umbrage with out-of-state carpetbaggers with their bags of carpets telling Iowans who to vote for, and it is fighting fire with fire extinguishers. Vote for Rick Parry tomorrow — “That’s Parry with an A for America, with an A for Iowa.” Watch the recent ads. READ FULL STORY

Stephen Colbert files for political action committee after 5-1 FEC ruling

Stephen Colbert claimed victory today after the Federal Election Commission granted him a unique loophole to use his network’s finances to run his newly formed political action committee. In a 5-1 decision, commissioners granted the Comedy Central comic a media exemption to campaign finance rules that will allow The Colbert Report to produce ads supporting or opposing federal candidates.

After the ruling, Colbert filed papers to officially create Colbert Super PAC and then addressed a crowd of supporters outside:“It has been said that freedom isn’t free. Today, we have placed a sizable down payment. Today, we put liberty on layaway.” Watch his speech after the jump. READ FULL STORY

Stephen Colbert vs. BFF Jimmy Fallon in the battle for Emmy: It. Is. On.

It’s been three long years since the hilarious late night battle royale between Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, and Conan O’Brien, (Coco had another decidedly less funny war he had to conquer since then) but that doesn’t mean there isn’t another round of TV-host terrorizing on the verge of erupting.

It seems Jimmy Fallon will be next to square off against the two Comedy Central comics, at least if he continues to irk Emmy’s reigning king Stewart and his current (well, at least until September 3) BFF Colbert. The Colbert Report host more or less declared war, accusing Fallon of continuing to ride his coattails. READ FULL STORY

'The Colbert Report': On a bathroom quest, Stephen encounters David Letterman and Katie Couric

Last night, Stephen Colbert let us in on a little secret: Everyone who works at Viacom — the company behind networks including Comedy Central and CBS — has to share a single bathroom, which is located on the set of The Colbert Report. (The arrangement’s particularly tough on Craig Ferguson, Stephen told us — “He has to fly in from L.A.”) They also share a single bathroom key. Naturally, when someone wants to pay a visit to the porcelain throne, things can get a little complicated. Watch the clip below to see Stephen make a surprise appearance on the set of The Late Show, then get caught unaware by a certain newswoman once he finally makes it past the bathroom door. READ FULL STORY

Stephen Colbert appropriately giddy over Osama bin Laden news

While some people continue to debate whether partying like it’s New Year’s Eve or the Super Bowl was an appropriate expression of satisfaction that justice finally found Osama bin Laden 10 years after 9/11, we can all agree that Stephen Colbert’s response on The Colbert Report was pitch-perfect for his character. After burying the lead behind mentions of Obama’s birth certificate, Kate Middleton’s wedding dress, and Fast Five’s record-breaking opening weekend, he finally got to the real news: “Seth Meyers did a great job at the Correspondents’ Dinner, but I gotta say, this weekend Barack Obama really killed.” He then led his studio audience in a “USA! USA! USA!” chant.

“I am as giddy as a schoolgirl who just shot bin Laden in the eye. In the eye. Ka-boom! Hey, Osama, no 3-D movies for you in hell, which I’m pretty sure would be The Last Airbender,” he said. “Wow. I am just so happy. And I hope, I hope, I am never again this happy over someone’s death. And I know if I saw myself in a mirror, I would be appalled by the look on my face. [Looks into mirror.] Nope. I like this. That’s a good look. I want to stay this way forever.”  READ FULL STORY

James Franco's evil twin joins forces with Stephen Colbert

Leave it to Stephen Colbert to put a damper on the encouraging recent jobs report. According to the Report‘s crack research team, 75 percent of the 200,000 private-sector jobs the nation added in the last month went to one James Franco, Oscar host, incurable student, college prof, and “soaking wet Gucci spokesperson.” “This guy has worked his way around more college campuses than chlamydia,” Colbert ranted. “Nation, James Franco is clearly my Renaissance nemesis, or Rena-nemesis.”

Colbert had a plan to expose his new rival as a fraud — “Why can’t you just take this [success] and run, and turn your life into some slow agonizing yet entertaining downward spiral for the rest of us to watch?” he would later ask — and that included the help of Franco’s evil twin, Frank Jameso. Take a look. READ FULL STORY

Jimmy Fallon promises that Stephen Colbert will sing 'Friday'

Stephen Colbert crashed Jimmy Fallon’s show last night, to shame his BFFSM (Best Friend For Six Months) into prying open his wallet. You see, Colbert had announced on his own show that Fallon was matching a $26,000 donation to the charity, DonorsChoose.org. The slight snafu: Fallon had never actually made such a commitment, so here he was last night, backing out of a deal that he never made in the first place. “If you can’t donate $26,000 of your best friend’s money without asking him first, then what’s the point of being Best Friends,” Colbert charged. “I give, I give, and I give … your money … to other people. And I get nothing back.”

Colbert vanished as quickly as he’d arrived, allowing a contemplative Fallon to turn the tables. “If we can raise $26,000 by this Friday, I will promise that my BFF for Six Months, Stephen Colbert, will come on this show and sing Rebecca Black’s ‘Friday’ with The Roots,” said Fallon. “And that is a promise that I am making … from him … to you.”

Take a look. READ FULL STORY

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