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TV Recap: 'The Bachelor,' 'How I Met Your Mother,' and 'Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' -- VIDEO

Did you miss Monday night’s episodes of The Bachelor, How I Met Your Mother, and The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Catch up with our TV Recap below! READ FULL STORY

'The Bachelor' episode 2: 'I was happy to take off my top, as always'

It’s true, rose lovers — one of the “ladies” (and I think you can guess who) really does have no problem letting her girls take in the night air, or the day air, or the stale, inside-of-a-photo-studio air. Thank goodness, because this week Team Bachelor dusted off the old “would I get naked for a chance at love?” trick during the group date. (It never gets old.) Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Read Kristen’s full Bachelor episode 2 recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes Bachelor blog), but if you’ve finished watching let me know your thoughts on the two Juan-on-Juan dates, the spectacular rooftop pool meltdown during the group date, and the fact that they let poor Molly swim at the Casa Bachelor pool. There’s no way that thing is sanitary (the pool — I’m sure Molly is spotless).

'The Bachelor' premiere: Dog Lover, Free Spirit, and other ambiguous 'job' titles

What would you want your “occupation” chyron to say if you were on The Bachelor? (Just go with it.)

I’d be fine with “Beach Stroller,” “Cheese Whisperer,” or “TV Recapper,” all of which are true depending on the hour. If we’re going for every-second-of-every-day accuracy, though? “Bum.”

Here are the most creative job titles of The Bachelor: Juan Pabs premiere (read our full recap here):

Dog Lover

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WHO? WHO PAYS YOU TO LOVE DOGS? READ FULL STORY

Chris Harrison blogs 'The Bachelor' season premiere

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Welcome to the new season of El Bachelor. I want to start this season off by saying thank you! Thank you for supporting us, and for coming back to enjoy another journey. Sunday night it all started with our special The Countdown to Juan Pablo. I really loved how after all these years we lifted the veil a bit to show our fans how we cast the show and just how pressure-packed that process can be. As you saw in the special, we truly see it all during the casting process. It’s not an exact science by any means, but I think our casting department has done a phenomenal job over the years of bringing in amazing men and women to be a part of this show. READ FULL STORY

'The Bachelor' season premiere: 'It feels like you're a meat and they want to eat you right there'

Oh, make no mistake, Juan Pablo — those “ladies” do, in fact, want to eat you right there. (Especially that weirdo who insisted on going barefoot.) Fortunately, though, the Bachelor made it out of the first episode alive — though no doubt with a few bite marks. As for you, rose lovers, did the most-hyped Bachelor premiere… ever live up to your expectations? I’ve been on Team Juan Pablo since the moment he first stepped out of the limo bearing a chocolate bon-bon for Desiree — but I know many of you are on the fence. What say you now? Not sure yet how I feel about this group of “ladies,” though I am a big fan of the one who brought her dog — or, let me rephrase that: I am a big fan of her dog. (What a cute little fluffball!) Stay tuned for my full recap later tonight (UPDATE: Click over for Kristen’s full Bachelor season premiere recap and Chris Harrison’s behind-the-scenes Bachelor blog), but if you simply can’t wait to talk about “the first el Bachelor Latino,” post your thoughts now!

What we learned from 'The Bachelor: Countdown to Juan Pablo'

Ahead of Juan Pablo meeting his hopefuls on Monday’s true premiere of The Bachelor, ABC gave us Countdown to Juan Pablo, a special taking us inside both casting and Juan Pablo’s family. Here are the takeaways:

•  Grown women still own hula hoops and think they’re sexy, as evidenced by the audition tapes.

• Chris Harrison arm wrestles with contestants during their interview with an intimidating number of Bachelor personnel clutching massive binders. (Well, at least he did with one. He appeared to lose.)

• Some women take their test confessional interviews literally: “I actually was a virgin until about two weeks ago,” one revealed. READ FULL STORY

'The Bachelor': 11 fun facts from the contestants' bios

The new season of The Bachelor begins Juan-uary 5 with a two-night premiere, but the show is already entertaining us with the bachelorettes’ bios.

• Number of women who listed Home Alone 2 among their All-Time Favorite Movies: 2. Alexis (other picks: Elf and Titanic) and Chantel (other picks: John Q and The Notebook).  READ FULL STORY

Jesse Tyler Ferguson fights for attention as 'The First Gay Bachelor' -- VIDEO

The always hilarious folks over at Funny or Die decided to put a “progressive” spin on the long-running ABC reality show The Bachelor, this time with a gay man handing out the roses to eligible bachelors. But clearly, a homosexual take would be a little more complicated.

George Takei serves as host for the show in which Modern Family‘s Jesse Tyler Ferguson plays Bryden (not to be confused with contestants Bryden G. and Bryden H.), the bachelor looking for love. Unfortunately, he finds that the other contestants are just all stereotypical gay men who care more about themselves than the man they are trying to compete for. And they all happen to be trial attorneys.

Check out the bachelor-only version of The Bachelor below:
READ FULL STORY

Attention all insane single women: 'The Bachelor' is casting!

Are you looking for someone to share your life with? Do you pepper every other sentence with the words “journey,” “amazing” and “right reasons”? Are your eggs rotting? Then listen up: As you may have heard, rose lovers, Juan Pablo — the sexy, soft-spoken former soccer player whom Desiree dumped on The Bachelorette — will be the star of season 18 of The Bachelor beginning this January. For some of us, this news is bittersweet, as we may already be happily married with a child and therefore theoretically ineligible to compete for Juan Pabs’ heart. But for all the single “ladies” out there, this is your moment. ABC has just released an official casting announcement that also doubles as a fantastic work of comedy writing. Read on for the casting call, as well as our in-depth analysis:

READ FULL STORY

Why [spoiler] is the next Bachelor: God tells all!

Are you there, Kristen? It’s Me, God. Please forgive Me for the tardiness of My reply. While I received all of the prayers you sent and read the numerous supplications in your Bachelorette recaps asking Me to please, please, pretty please make Juan Pablo the next Bachelor, it’s been a little busy up here what with flash floods and the whole Egypt situation and now that tainted salad mix business. (Seriously, why does anyone even eat at Olive Garden anymore?) And don’t even get Me started on the Doctor Who fans — I mean, I like Idris Elba as much as the next guy, but I can’t force him down producers’ throats, can I? I gave you people free will for a reason. It’s over. Please stop spamming My Gmail.

Anyhow, as My friend Chris Harrison announced tonight on After the Final Rose, I’ve decided to grant your request: The Bachelor starring Juan Pablo is coming to a TV near you in January 2014. You’re welcome.

Now, I want to clarify a few things here. READ FULL STORY

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