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Teri Hatcher shows you how to have a happy Black Friday -- VIDEO

Teri Hatcher’s never been this desperate. With Black Friday less than 48 hours away, the former Desperate Housewives star teamed up with Funny or Die to deliver us this inspiring or downright insane — depending on your personal views towards the so-called “holiday” — video of an overzealous housewife prepping her family for the sales madness.

Clad in camo and armed with a machine gun, Hatcher kicks off her rousing speech the way any good speechmaker should — by quoting from Independence Day. “Good evening,” she intones as she places a golden-crusted turkey before her family. “In less than an hour, I will be joining other women from around town and we will be participating in the earliest Black Friday ever in the history of mankind.” When her son tries to insist he doesn’t need a Wii, Hatcher gently informs him, “You say that now, but on Christmas Day if you don’t have a Wii, you’ll unleash a tornado of anger on all of us.” “You’re right,” he chirps. And years from now, when her grandchild asks her about the earliest Black Friday ever? Well, she won’t have to say she had a happy Thanksgiving with her family, including Tom Arnold as Hatcher’s cowed husband. Check it out below: READ FULL STORY

'Desperate Housewives' series finale: How it all ended

Spoiler alert! If you haven’t seen the two-hour Desperate Housewives series finale and intend to, stop reading now. If you haven’t seen it but want to know how it ended, continue. We break it down below. READ FULL STORY

'Desperate Housewives' series finale: What conclusion would satisfy you?

Tonight, television doesn’t just lose a legend: it loses four. Despite how your feelings about ABC’s outgoing dramedy may have fluctuated over the years, there’s no denying that the four women at the center of the soapy, frothy Desperate Housewives have given modern hour-long television a new definition, and tonight–after eight seasons–all that ends. But how?!

I’m not out to predict the twists and turns that will no doubt occur on the long-awaited series finale of the Sunday night staple, but rather, I pose a different question: what would have to happen tonight for you to be fully satisfied with the show’s swan song? A major shake-up? flash forward? Or a neat resolution for each resident of Wisteria Lane? READ FULL STORY

'Desperate Housewives': Watch (almost all of) Wisteria Lane's grisly deaths -- VIDEO

Death has always been big on Wisteria Lane.

That became extremely apparent back in March, when former Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan took ABC Studios to court over the on-screen death of her character Edie Britt, who she said was killed off the show in retaliation for an incident the actress had with series creator Marc Cherry. One of the central questions during those proceedings was: Does Desperate Housewives actually kill off big characters like Edie? A chunk of ABC’s defense was spent trying to prove that, partly by including a video montage of all the characters that had been killed. Said video was a doozy, featuring dozens of deaths on the show. Up until that point, Sheridan’s character was arguably the biggest character to bite the dust, although Susan Delfino’s husband Mike (James Denton) would soon meet his maker. (Hatcher was none too happy about that, although she didn’t take ABC to court over it.)

The short answer to the Desperate Housewives death question, though, is: Yes, they do kill of characters. So, in anticipation of the show’s series finale on Sunday, May 13 — which may include a death or two? — ABC has released a funny video montage of all the grim reaping that Wisteria Lane has witnessed over its eight seasons. Although it’s clearly not the same montage that was used in court, it’s a pretty fun romp and a reminder of all those great moments. Not to mention it’s cheekily set to “Another One Bites the Dust.”

Interestingly enough, the demise of Sheridan’s vampy Edie is nowhere to be found, but the shooting of James Denton’s plumber Mike is featured prominently right in the middle of the montage, which also includes the ends of fave characters like Martha Huber (Christine Estabrook), Frank Kaminsky (Larry Hagman), Nora Huntington (Kiersten Warren), and Victor Lang (John Slattery). Prepare for Sunday evening by enjoying the video here:

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This Week's Cover: The untold story of 'Desperate Housewives'

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For the first time in years, ­Desperate Housewives is captivating America again — for reasons its creator and cast can’t be happy about. Former star Nicollette ­Sheridan sued Touchstone Television for wrongful termination after the show’s creator Marc Cherry killed off Sheridan’s man-eating alter ego, Edie Britt, in spring 2009. The details were scandalous — for instance, Cherry testified that Sheridan once called costar Teri Hatcher “the meanest woman in the world” — and the juicy, three-week trial culminated in a verdict reminiscent of Housewives’ famous cliff-hangers: A judge declared a mistrial due to a hung jury.

The publicity around the trial is a fitting coda for the eight-year-old ABC dramedy, which will finally sign off with a two-hour finale on May 13 at 9 p.m. To commemorate the end of this ­pioneering series (and in light of the show’s recent return to newsy relevance), EW decided to put the ladies of Wisteria Lane — klutzy divorcée Susan Mayer (Hatcher), frazzled mom Lynette Scavo (Felicity Huffman), WASPy homemaker Bree Van de Kamp (Marcia Cross), and suburban sexpot Gabrielle Solis (Eva Longoria) — on the cover of EW one last time. We conducted two dozen interviews with the cast, crew, and writers, who recall Housewives’ provocative premise, its controversial story lines and effect on the TV industry, and one very gnarly Vanity Fair photo shoot.

The chats with major Desperate players reaped delicious behind-the-scenes details from the series: On-screen husband Doug Savant blames the brouhaha over the much talked-about Vanity Fair cover on an “inhospitable” environment created by the production team at the photo shoot; Cross admitted that “people thought for a long time that I was the bitch” of the show; James Denton — whose character Mike Delfino was killed off the show on March 11 — told us about how much of a “bummer” the Sheridan lawsuit was and that she was “fun to work with”; Huffman admitted to being such a fan of her on-screen husband, played by Savant, that she offered to pay part of his salary so he wouldn’t make less money in the show’s final season; and all the ladies shared their favorite moments from the series — for Hatcher it was being “naked in the bushes” and for Longoria it was mowing the Solis’ lawn in the pilot while wearing heels. “Most of my favorite memories about the show have to do with sitting in my trailer with Marcia or Felicity,” Longoria continued, “and talking about life.”

For all of that and more about Desperate Housewives pick up the new issue of Entertainment Weekly on stands March 23. Also, remember to follow @EW on Twitter. 

Entertainment Weekly is now available on most tablets, including the iPad, Nook Color, Kindle Fire, and Samsung Galaxy. Think of it like the EW you already love, but on steroids: With our digital magazine, you can buy the recommended movies, albums, books, and DVDs while you’re reading about them. Plus you can watch music videos and film trailers, and find movie showtimes in your neighborhood. Current subscribers can access the digital version of EW for free by downloading EW app (also free) and logging in using your name and address or the information on your subscription label. Single copies of the magazine are also for sale through the app if you prefer to read EW that way. If you’re not a subscriber, but would like to become one, you can can do so by going to ew.com/allaccess.

Read more:
Mistrial declared in Nicollette Sheridan case
‘Desperate Housewives’ major character death revealed: Read an EXCLUSIVE interview with the star!
‘Desperate Housewives’ star Teri Hatcher thinks SPOILER death ‘was a bad idea’

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