When reality stars sing, the results can be totally inoffensive (Brooke Hogan’s career) or surprisingly decent (Paris Hilton’s “Stars Are Blind” — seriously, it’s like a watered-down “Underneath It All”! In a good way!). More often, though, their songs are auto-tuned nightmares and tone-deaf raps, music that makes you yearn for a sweet shot of Adele to take the pain away.
In that vein, I offer up Teen Mom Farrah Abraham’s new single. Is it the worst piece of “music” in recorded history? It’s possible — though Abraham’s got some serious competition from other misguided reality crooners. Let’s survey the candidates, then decide which is the most rotten apple at the very bottom of the barrel:
Farrah Abraham (Teen Mom), “Getting Up from Rock Bottom”
The Lowdown: Knowing that this 21-year-old mother has endured substance abuse, depression, and her boyfriend’s death might make you feel bad about crapping all over her musical venture. But when a song is this dismal, it’s tough to practice the golden rule. Be sure to turn your speakers down before hitting “Play” on the linked SoundCloud file, unless you’d like to suffer from Pounding Eardrum Syndrome.
Worst Lyrics: Vocal effects are applied so thickly that you can’t really understand a word Abraham is yelping. Blessing in disguise?