Another week, another hour spent in awe of people’s upper bodies while I furiously bicep-curl chips. I’ve finally decided on my summer TV boyfriend — Paul Kasemir, the “Extreme American Ninja Warrior Pro” (whoa!) who crushed the competition with his trademark “quiet consistency” in Monday’s Denver finals episode on NBC. Paul’s headed to Las Vegas’ Mt. Midoriyama (translation: “Mount Green Mountain”) for the fourth year in a row. He has a double personality, which means he has a desk job (writing source code in a lab) and is probably a secret superhero. He’s totally the Andrew Garfield of NBC right this second.
This week presented two new Death to Your Upper Body obstacles for the qualifying Mile High City ninja warriors: Pole Grasper and the Floating Stairs. Strippers or super-fit people who work out on stripper poles for the Core benefits would make a killing on Pole Grasper, for the record. The rock-climbing guys had a distinct advantage over the free runners with this one. Very few ninjas even made it to these new deathtraps, though, considering the Salmon Ladder was still in play. That thing is deadly and a total momentum-crusher. I keep wanting Salmon Ladder to pop up as a dangerously compelling appetizer at my local sushi joint. Buy too many of those and they’ll kill ya. READ FULL STORY