“We’ll find out what you’ve done, right after this.” — Ryan Seacrest
Credit where credit’s due, America: What you lack in planning, you make up for in execution. Paige Miles should not have stuck around this long, but she’s gone now and we can all stop rocking our children feverishly to sleep. The curse of “Against All Odds” was probably not even necessary in her case — Miles (not Davis) had become so listless and non-factorish that upon her dismissal, those seated around me in the Idoldome’s neon embrace could barely be bothered to awwww, despite having been coached to do so for upwards of two hours.
Results night is always an adventure; unlike the assembly line of performance night (sing, judge, commercial, repeat), Wednesdays are more like a pinball machine. Everything dings and lights up. There’s often a pre-tape — for example, Miley Cyrus did not sing live — followed by an in-person star turn. The contestants are on stage at all times, and are allowed to speak as freely as their little hearts desire, which, when you’ve got f—ing weirdos like Siobhan Magnus in the mix, tends to be an adventure. To reiterate: I mean “f—ing weirdo” in the very most complimentary sense. That girl is crackers. I want to take a road trip with her, just to see where we end up.
Since my job on these recaps is to cover what you might not have seen on TV — you can read Slezak’s column if you want the broadcast minutia — and about 85 percent of the interesting things that happen on results nights take place off-camera, we’ve got a lot to tear into tonight. So much for “write short.” Onward, Idol soldiers!