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Tag: Ron Swanson (1-10 of 11)

EW's Morning Bite: And the best sound bite from last night is...

Submitted by Tyronious Edelstein:

 “There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that’s lying about being milk. ”


Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) on Parks and Recreation

Read the rest of your submissions from Thursday April 4 and come back Sunday to share your pick for best sound bite!

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'Parks and Recreation': Leslie and Ben forever!

“I promised myself I was not going to cry tonight, and I have already broken that promise five times,” says Chris to Ben in this wedding episode. I have to say, five times sounds about right.  Also, if “Ben and Leslie” doesn’t prove that Amy Poehler deserves her Emmy, I don’t know what the Emmy voters need. Leslie was hilarious (that Tim Gunn impression), lovable (a 70-page first draft on her vows), and amazingly caring (refusing to have her wedding without Ron, who is like a father to her). READ FULL STORY

EW's Morning Bite: And the best sound bite from last night is ...

Submitted by Andie Hiestand: 

“Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.”

 Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) on Parks and Recreation

Check out the rest of your quote submissions from Thursday Feb. 14 and come back tonight to share your pick for best sound bite!

Read more:
Morning Bite
The Vampire Diaries recap: The Rise and Fall
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EW's Morning Bite: And the best sound bite from last night is ...

Submitted by JR:

“There’s been a mistake. You’ve accidentally given me the food that my food eats.”

 Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) after being served a salad on Parks and Recreation

Check out the rest of your quote submissions from Thursday Feb. 7 and come back tonight to share your pick for best sound bite!

Read More:
Morning Bites
The Vampire Diaries Recap
Scandal Recap
Glee Recap

'Parks and Rec': The 7 best lines from 'Women in Garbage'

Image Credit: Colleen Hayes/NBC

Last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation tackled the Pawnee City Council’s prehistoric gender relations head on. In an effort to one-up the all-male sanitation department, Leslie and April tried their hand at a garbage route, with mixed results. Meanwhile, Chris struggled to understand his new relationship with Shauna; Ron and Anne babysat Diane’s kids; and Tom, Ben, and Andy attempted to play basketball. Colossal failures and hilarious lines abounded. Here are the best:

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'Parks and Rec': The rotating bachelor party

Image Credit: Colleen Hayes/NBC

Ben and Leslie’s storybook wedding is fast approaching, but you know what comes first, right? The bachelor party! Ben’s not really the Vegas type, so there weren’t any Hangover-esque shenanigans; instead, the boys stayed in for a night of beer and board games (Settlers of Catan, to be precise). At least, that’s how the night started out. Tom insisted they up the ante with a few drinks at Essence — Things Magazine‘s “Next Big Thing” — where they each revealed that none of them had experienced a real bachelor party. Here’s why:

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'Parks and Rec': 8 great Ron Swanson-isms from 'Ron & Diane'

Last night’s episode of Parks & Recreation took us deeper into Chris’ ongoing psychological collapse and introduced us to Gayle Gergich (Christie Brinkley), Jerry’s incomprehensibly beautiful but slightly robotic wife. It also brought back Tammy II, Ron’s deranged, nymphomaniac ex-wife (or “sex-wife,” as she calls it) and pitted her against Leslie in what is probably the greatest dumpster fight ever depicted on screen.

But the heart of the episode took place at the Indiana Fine Woodworking Association Woodworking Awards, a surly event that Ron referred to as “heaven.” Given that he was surrounded not only by hand-made wood crafts but also by three of the most important women in his life — Leslie, Tammy, and new flame Diane — Ron had ample opportunity to dish out his singular wisdom. So grab your belt sanders and strap on your safety goggles folks, because it’s time for the eight best Ron Swanson-isms from “Ron & Diane.”

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Bacon-scented shaving cream is perfect present for Ron Swanson -- also a real thing

Bacon-scented-shaving-cream_510x317.jpg

Sorry, Honor — this product truly deserves to top Ron Swanson’s Pyramid of Greatness.

Yes, shaving cream that smells like rich, smoky pork actually exists. Here’s how the press release describes it: “J&D’s Bacon Shaving Cream™ is proudly Made in America and is the highest quality meat-scented shaving cream on the market today… It is best used after a hot shower or before an important date with someone you may want to spend the rest of your life with.”

As EW.com photo guru Jef Castro says, “That MUST cause break-outs. Or obesity.” Absolutely — but is it kosher? I’ll let you know as soon as I hear back from the product’s creators, “Bacontrepreneurs” Justin and Dave.

These guys also sell a sriracha-flavored lip balm. Wearing it, apparently, is “like making out with some tasty napalm.”

Congratulations, world: I have finally been rendered speechless. Ooo, accidental bacon pun!

Read more:
Nick Offerman performs slam poetry about bacon — VIDEO
Ron Swanson’s best foodie moments — EXCLUSIVE VIDEO
‘Parks and Rec': Ron Swanson’s ‘turkey burger’ is now a reality, proves he needs to write a (very unhealthy) cookbook.

'Parks and Rec': The 5 best moments from 'Ben's Parents'

Last week’s episode of Parks and Recreation, in which Ben finally proposed to Leslie, set the bar pretty high — some might say impossibly high — so last night the writers stepped up and let loose with some top-shelf material. We met Ben’s sparring, divorced, insufferable parents (played by Glenne Headly and Jonathan Banks) and watched Chris have a total, happy-sad mental breakdown (“It’s like a perfect storm of emotions!”). The team even brought back the scene-stealer (and arguably the show’s most consistently funny character) Jean-Ralphio, Tom’s flamboyant cad of a business partner. With so many memorable moments, it’s hard to narrow down the episode’s highlights… but here goes.

READ FULL STORY

'Parks and Rec': New councilmen and a new love interest

Image Credit: Tyler Golden/NBC

Last night’s episode of Parks and Recreation introduced us to some new members of Pawnee’s quirky population. The first was Councilman Jam, a sleazeball with an impressive white-boy ‘fro and a taste for back-alley trades (and Leslie’s private bathroom). The next was Councilman Milton, a 58-year council veteran, who originally ran on the Dixie-crat ticket (the platform: de-integrate baseball). The aging racist prefers his lunch with plenty of extras — “Ceasar salad. Extra dressing. Extra croutons. And extra anchovies” — and goes for a poorly-timed kiss with Leslie in his office. I guess tact, unlike wine, gets worse with age. And finally, Ron met a potential new love interest, Diane (played by Xena‘s Lucy Lawless). She’s a rough-and-tumble middle-school Vice Principal who’s not afraid to talk shop with the boys, and even has the guts to show up at the office and ask Ron to dinner – a bold move that Ron, no stranger to tough (and insane) women, finds appealing.

Of course, the real star of last night’s show was Leslie’s half-perm. Feast your eyes on that beautiful disaster.

What do you think, PopWatchers — does Lawless’ Diane have what to takes to tame the Ron Swanson? Does she measure up to his ex-wife Tammy (or, God forbid, the other Tammy)? Sound off in the comments.

Read More:
‘Parks and Rec': Leslie takes a big gulp, taxes oversized drinks
NBC’s comedy ratings crash: ‘The Office,’ ‘Parks’ return lower
‘Parks and Rec': The Leslie Knope Grill Jam Fun-Splosion! — POSTER

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