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Kanye West is a blowfish, and other ridiculous things from his 'GQ' interview

Kanye West is a blowfish—not a shark, a blowfish. At least, that’s how he describes himself in a new interview with GQ that, predictably, features many other gems from the candid star.

Sure, some of the interview is actually pretty sweet—he talks about wanting to make sure his daughter’s life is better than his own, how much he loves his wife, Kim Kardashian, how special it is to have someone to call “Mom” once again. (He also basically confirms that every insane rumor you heard about the Kimye wedding was 100 percent true.) But when we look to Kanye West, we’re hoping to get some more of his signature out-there statements—and luckily, there’s no shortage of them in this latest interview. The best examples, totally out of context:

READ FULL STORY

Fancy cinemas, friendships with robots: The future according to celebrities

To celebrate its 125th birthday, The Wall Street Journal got a bunch of big names to write down their thoughts on what tomorrow will be like for a package called “The Future of Everything.” Mark Zuckerberg wrote about how the internet needs to—and will—be accessible to everyone one day; Taylor Swift revealed musicians just need to keep surprising their fans to keep the music industry alive. Oh, and Tyra Banks predicted everyone will have a robot friend who they rely on to boost their self-esteem—so basically, society is doomed.

Not everyone’s predictions are as extreme as Banks’ though: Director Christopher Nolan thinks movie theaters are going to be swankier and AMC’s Josh Sapan believes quality TV will eventually dominate and leave little room for unoriginal series. OK, so maybe we aren’t doomed after all. READ FULL STORY

Lunchtime Poll: What would you turn into if you were 'Beauty and the Beast'-ed?

It’s a tale as old as time: Creepy old woman asks to use your phone on a cold prologue night, elementary school-age prince declines because his parents raised him well, aforementioned spinster casts a curse on the kid and his entire staff, whose only crime was trying to get by on the crazy merry-go-round we call This Provincial Life.

That’s how Beauty and the Beast transformed a whole ensemble of domestic workers into pieces of furniture and assorted household objects. Certainly it was an unfortunate fate for all of The Beast’s staff, but especially for the ones with bad enough karma to be transformed into, say, a wardrobe—or worse, a teacup without a face. READ FULL STORY

'Hot Felon' Jeremy Meeks does not have a modeling contract (yet)

In a matter of weeks, Jeremy Meeks’ entire life has changed. After Meeks was booked on suspicion of felony weapons charges on Wednesday, June 18, his mug shot was posted to the Stockton Police Department’s Facebook page, where it quickly went viral, earning him the nickname “Hot Felon” and making him a trending topic on Twitter.

Felon or not, the nation was swooning over Meek’s sharp cheekbones and baby blue eyes. And despite recently finding out that Meeks is married, many still want to know what Meeks is up to now that he’s out of jail.

However, EW has confirmed that earlier reports of Meeks having a modeling contract are false. Gina Rodriguez of GR Media has signed on to represent Meeks, but according to GR Media, Meeks has not signed with anyone. He is, however, in talks with Jim Jordan from White Cross Management, so fans’ hopes of more head shots—sans orange jumpsuit—remain alive.

'Orange Is the New Black': What if Uzo Aduba played every part? -- VIDEO

Tatiana Maslany isn’t the only actor who’s prepared to take on multiple roles in a television show. She’s also not the only actor who knows how to rock a wig (or five).

In a new Funny or Die video, Orange Is the New Black‘s Uzo Aduba “auditions” for various other roles on the show, including Piper, Red, Taystee, and more. There’s stretching, singing, and even a Lil’ Wayne impression of sorts. They might’ve wanted her to read for the part of Crazy Eyes, but it’s obvious Aduba could’ve taken on a number of characters.

Watch the video below: READ FULL STORY

Mariah Carey rides the New York City subway in a floor-length gown

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There can be miracles when you believe.

As long as your idea of a miracle is seeing the elusive chanteuse herself, Mariah Carey, riding the subway in New York City during your commute. Apparently, Mimi did just that Thursday night following a Fresh Air Fund gala. Naturally, she’s wearing a ballgown. Naturally, people can see what appears to be minimum two bodyguards in the shot. Naturally, she’s also got gloves on, because while she may sit with the people, she’s certainly not touching them.

“Glimpses of our joyride on the 1 train #subwayincouture,” Carey captioned the Instagram pic. Check out Carey — who joins a list of high-profile subway-goers that includes MadonnaJay-Z, and, uh, Rick Springfield –  enjoying one sweet day (with the people) below: READ FULL STORY

Low Budget Beasts, bad 'Joseph' wigs, and 3 more Tumblrs about the indignity of community theater

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First, let me say that I loved my days in community theater. It’s where I learned how to do a time-step and workshop different accents — including “British” and “unplaceable European” — and do mic check exclusively with Whitney Houston songs. I loved every production I was in, no matter how stressful or awful, because the biggest truth about community theater is that misery loves company. If I’m miserable in a cat costume during the sixth straight hour of tech, I have to believe everyone else is miserable, too.

If you’ve been involved in less-than-professional theater, you know these harsh truths: productions can be, for lack of a better term, comedically schlocky. That’s where these five amazing Tumblrs come in — each of which truly reflects the worst elements of community theater. (And before you cry afoul, know that What I Did for Love is assemble this post for you.) READ FULL STORY

Scout Willis posts topless photos on Twitter to protest Instagram policies

Is Scout Willis leading a revolution? (No.) But she is bashing Instagram.

Willis, a fashion designer best known as the daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, has started a mini Twitter revolution by posting topless photos of herself walking around New York City — and encouraging others to do the same. (The photos are, duh, NSFW.)

She’s doing this because she’s had it with Instagram’s photo policy, which doesn’t allow for any nudity, no matter the context (So, no breast cancer survivor photos, women nursing children, etc.) Willis posted a photo to Instagram of a sweatshirt she designed, featuring women with exposed breasts, and the image sharing site made her take it down.

Twitter, however, has no such stipulations. Just don’t think Willis took these photos because it’s crazy hot in New York City right now – #FreeTheNipple is so much bigger than that. Willis explained as such Thursday morning: READ FULL STORY

Hogwarts Alumni Newsletter: Emma Watson graduates, Tom Felton plays a creep, and more!

Break out your Marauder’s Map, Invisibility Cloak and Time-Turner: It’s time for another Hogwarts Alumni Newsletter.

It’s been nearly a year since the last installment of  Hogwarts’ Alumni Newsletter, a post designed to keep you all informed of the latest happenings from Hogwarts’ most famous young wizard alums (err, or the actors who portray them). While the main trio may not be reuniting to film a video for Universal’s Wizarding World of Harry Potter, as was a recent rumor, many of the now-grown-up cast have announced various upcoming projects over the past few weeks.

Below, see highlighted (read: not comprehensive) accomplishments that have been announced recently, as well as the resulting even more subjective list of House Points. Surprise! Gryffindor looks like it’s going to snag the House Cup once again. READ FULL STORY

Now 'Transformers' is an allegory for immigration

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Transformers: Age of Extinction is nothing like all those other Transformers movies. Like, do you know how many robot dinosaurs were in Transformers 1-3? Zero. And do you know how many robot dinosaurs  are in Trans4mers? Approximately one million percent more, and they breathe fire, just like real dinosaurs. Just kidding! Everyone knows dinosaurs aren’t real. But the fourth Transformers movie is real. And it’s not just real: It’s reality. READ FULL STORY

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