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'The Bachelor': 11 fun facts from the contestants' bios

The new season of The Bachelor begins Juan-uary 5 with a two-night premiere, but the show is already entertaining us with the bachelorettes’ bios.

• Number of women who listed Home Alone 2 among their All-Time Favorite Movies: 2. Alexis (other picks: Elf and Titanic) and Chantel (other picks: John Q and The Notebook).  READ FULL STORY

New Year's Resolutions inspired by Beyonce's 'Visual Album'

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What do you want from me? I’m a slow study, plus I’ve been busy eating all the meat in the Midwest and napping. Well, NO MORE! It’s taken a whopping 17 days, but the power and glory of the almighty Beyoncé’s Visual Album has officially crept into the contours of my brain like one of her intricately gilded thongs. Thanks to my new mentor, I am emboldened towards and horny for 2014 a whole two days early, armed with the following new set of standards:

Just say no to spray tans!
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Finally learn how to surf.
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READ FULL STORY

Patton Oswalt's eHarmony coach in 'The Secret Life of Walter Mitty' is a real thing. Plus: FREE online dating advice

Throughout The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I never really viewed Patton Oswalt’s character Todd — Walter’s personal eHarmony counselor who goes above and beyond the call of duty — as legitimate. I just thought, “Huh, well, that’s an interesting way for Ben Stiller to sneak his funny buddy into the movie.” Most of the time I assumed Todd might be fictional, another element of Walter’s overactive imagination, and that eHarmony was in on the joke.

“I’m incredibly dumb,” my own eHarmony profile might say — because NOT QUITE!

eHarmony says it did not pay for promotion within the film. But now, inspired by the film, the dating site really does offer a personal counseling service called eH+, for $5,000 instead of the $500 the 2013 version of Walter Mitty shelled out (as James Thurber rolled around in his grave).

“The counselor is going to have a lot of power,” eHarmony’s Grant Langston told MarketWatch. “The service is also designed to minimize the rejection and anxiety that comes with online dating.”

The “factual” portion of this post ends here; the rest is pure crazy!

Good God in aHarmonious heaven! FIVE GRAND? And the matchmaker won’t be a household name like Patton Oswalt or Patti Stanger? Absolutely absurd. There is no amount of dollars that will minimize the rejection and anxiety that comes with online dating. Listen up! (Wait, am I about to turn PopWatch into an online dating advice column? Sure am. Last Sunday of the year.) Your wacky big sister Annie is gonna share The Secret Life Force of Online Dating with the very few of you still reading, for free. And the secret…. is…. READ FULL STORY

Kanye got Kim a bag of butts for Christmas

Kanye West and his ever-evolving children’s art project, Kim Kardashian, have welcomed a new member to their family — and it’s way bigger than their baby! It’s a custom-painted Hermès handbag featuring a surrealist nude portrait by George Condo (the same artist who did the covers for West’s 2010 album My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy).

This thing is so hideous it’s hilarious. You have to see it. You don’t. You shouldn’t. It’s your call.

WARNING: CRAZY SH*T BELOW READ FULL STORY

'Anchorman' supercut: Best of vintage Brick Tamland

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Steve Carell’s supremely dim yet in other ways brightly burning weatherman Brick Tamland found his Lady Brick (Kristen Wiig) in Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues (see EW’s review here). He’d traveled 10 years into the future (claiming the news team would still be together and ride around on jetpacks), party-planned his own funeral, which surprisingly did not take place in his pants, and sputtered at least one profound complete sentence in the sequel. Brick had come — or perhaps time-traveled — a long way! But let’s never forget the infinite, imbecilic wisdom of Vintage Brick. Relive the lamp-loving candle muncher’s greatest Anchorman hits in our supercut below: READ FULL STORY

Watch 15 minutes of 2013's best news bloopers

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Think of the video below as the gift that keeps on giving. Appropriately-named YouTube user NewsBeFunny has compiled 15 minutes of the year’s best news bloopers to hit the Internet. READ FULL STORY

Happy Festivus! Air your 2013 grievances here

Need I remind you, Seinfeld lovers? Festivus is your heritage. It’s part of who you are. It’s December 23rd — time to go dig the bare aluminum pole out of the crawl space and air your grievances to family and friends before challenging them to the Feats of Strength tonight!

Relive Frank Costanza’s holiday tradition and help me RAIN BLOWS against all of the parties who have wronged us this year, below. READ FULL STORY

'Silent Night, Deadly Night': 20 thoughts on the best-worst holiday movie of all time

A confession: I’m not wild about Christmas. As somebody who gets unnecessarily neurotic about whether or not everybody else is having a good time, the onset of shopping crowds, traveling woes, gift-buying difficulties, and food-related malaise often overwhelms my delicate constitution. (Also, the constant claptrap about the War on Christmas doesn’t make the season any more fun.)

But there are a handful of Christmas traditions I have adopted over the years that have made the last six weeks of the year something close to bearable. The cornerstone of those rituals is the annual viewing of Silent Night, Deadly Night, a nasty little bit of holiday-themed slasher nonsense that essentially casts Santa Claus as a serial killer. But like a lot of the also-ran cut-’em-ups of the ’80s, there’s so much more going on in Silent Night, Deadly Night than meets the eye, and I have spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about it (and its sequels), more than perhaps any other film I have seen. (And thanks to the yearly screenings, it’s undoubtedly the movie I’ve seen the most, which is a troubling revelation to type out).

Of course, a movie about a murderous Father Christmas isn’t for everybody, but here are 20 thoughts about Silent Night, Deadly Night that will hopefully help you get a feel for why it’s the best-worst holiday film ever constructed.

1. Silent Night, Deadly Night came out in November 1984 but was quickly yanked from movie theaters thanks to protests from parents groups who were disturbed by the ad campaign. Since there’s no such thing as bad publicity, the controversy surrounding the film gave it something of a second life — it re-appeared in theaters in early 1985 with an ad campaign that was based around the negative press it got the first time around. (One of the posters during the film’s resurrection was centered around Gene Siskel calling it “sick, sleazy, and mean-spirited”). They essentially leaned into bad press years before that was a thing.  READ FULL STORY

Miley Cyrus' 'We Can't Stop' gets remixed by the Bock family for Best Christmas Card of 2013 -- VIDEO

The holidays are wonderful for many reasons, one of which is that families do things they wouldn’t typically do. For example, the Bock family decided to put on their best Christmas sweaters and write some holiday-themed lyrics. Then, they used Postmodern Jukebox’s arrangement of the Miley Cyrus hit song “We Can’t Stop” to create the best Christmas card/video of the year.

This family Christmas card has it all: awkward swaying, eggnog, snapping, sweaters, and even a tambourine. Now this is what the holidays should look like.

Watch the video below:
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Want to hear about the time Jennifer Lawrence was caught with a bunch of butt plugs?

Of course you do! It all began when one of Lawrence’s pals bought the Hunger Games and American Hustle star a “copious amount of butt plugs” –”as a joke,” she claims. Suuuuure, Jennifer. Then, for some reason, she took the whole stash — various colors, sizes, materials and all — to a hotel. And… well, we’ll let J. Law take it from there. Shine on, you crazy diamond!

READ FULL STORY

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