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'Reign' recap: For king or country

All I can say is that I’m very happy that I live in the 21st Century, and that my future husband will likely not own a castle with some sort of lock tower. And let’s be honest: Even if he did, he’d never have the power to lock me away in it (because, you know, equality and stuff).

That being said, I’m not totally mad at Francis right now. Is he looking out for France? Of course. Is he looking out for Mary? Yes. Is he still a teenager with a ridiculous amount of responsibility? Always. Let’s dig in!

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'Parenthood' finale react: A house is not a home

Even though I knew it was coming, losing the Braverman house hurts, guys. It hurts bad. Let’s be honest: Next to Joel, it was arguably my favorite thing about this show. Okay, that’s taking it too far, but I am going to miss that beautiful house for a number of reasons, and I didn’t even grow up there!

That being said, losing the house was not the thing that made me cry the hardest in this episode. Nope, that award (not surprisingly) goes to Mae Whitman and Matt Lauria. At the hospital, we finally got to meet Ryan’s mother, who was not only an awful person, but also came bearing awful news. Ryan had been discharged from the Army and was heading back to Wyoming with her. And when Amber — Ryan’s non-wife (sorry, hospital) — asked him about it, he revealed just how he was injured. Spoiler: It’s not as badass as you probably thought. READ FULL STORY

'New Girl' recap: I'm Okay, You're Okay (JK, We're All Broken Up)

Whenever New Girl has had a big plot point in, it’s always been interesting how they handle — or don’t — the fallout in the next episode. A few examples: Jess and Nick’s first kiss in “Cooler” was followed by the Indian speed-dating shenanigans of “Table 34″; the roomfriends were doin’ it and doin’ it and doin’ it well in “Virgins,” but “Winston’s Birthday” felt a bit like a digression; and it’s probably best if we don’t dwell too much on “Exes” (aside from Adam Brody’s dreaminess therein) because it had the misfortune to air in the wake of the excellent “I love you” declarations on “Prince.” So, as you can see, New Girl‘s track record when it comes to following up on its milestone moments is… well… not so good. I’m very happy to say that the latest episode, tracking the repercussions of Jess and Nick’s split, is the exception. From the returns of Tran(!) and Furguson(!!!) to the throwbacks to the ridiculous costumes and submissive monkey noises, the episode was a real treat. Sweet as a Honey Roast-ed peanut, and just as cute. READ FULL STORY

'The Challenge': Let's hand out superlatives from the 'Free Agents' premiere!

MTV’s jacked-up reality competition The Challenge returned for its 25th(!) season on Thursday night, adding one deliciously cruel twist: No one is safe. Now, most times when a show makes that grand claim, it’s all hype. But this season’s Challenge, subtitled Free Agents, really is taking no prisoners. None. Zero. Zip.

Get a load of this: Even after the Challengers — who are all competing as individuals, or “Free Agents,” this season — are forced to stir up internal friction by voting two of their fellow players into an elimination round, the rest of the players are still at risk of fighting for their lives thanks to a giant new ”screw you” from producers called The Draw. Regardless of performance in that week’s Challenge, the Challengers must select cards until both a guy and a girl pick one with a skull and crossbones on it, which signals he or she going into the elimination battle. Consequences? Anyone could go home any week. Some people will probably be a victim of The Draw multiple weeks, maybe consecutively, stronger players can no longer rely on their brute force or wits to keep them on top, and alliances now have essentially no value.

Let that sink in (and stop reading now if you don’t want any SPOILERS)… READ FULL STORY

'Reign' react: For the love of Scotland

Dearest Reign devotees, your usual recapper Samantha Highfill is on a plane right now so I’m filling in to fill you in on how cute Lord Julien looks tonight (very cute) and what kind of sass Queen Catherine has to give us (a lot). So let’s get started! READ FULL STORY

'Agents of SHIELD' react: Hail Hydra!

Agents-of-SHIELD-react.jpg

How about that, agents? How. About. That.

“Turn, Turn, Turn” ended a little more than an hour ago, and my head is still reeling from all those reveals. And that kiss! And so much more! Where do I even begin? I suppose I’ll start by saying that first of all, if you’ve come here having not seen Captain America: The Winter Soldier, you should probably be warned that a minefield of spoilers lies ahead. I’m not kidding. The stars and creators teased that the events of Marvel’s most recent movie would tie in to their show in a very big way, and boy, did they ever. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. has tried to do tie-ins before — sort of with the pilot, when they made a lot of passing references to The Avengers, and then more notably with Thor 2, the previous big Phase 2 tentpole. But Winter Soldier is the first series tie-in that’s actually felt meaningful and relevant, no doubt due to the fact that unlike otherworldly Asgard, S.H.I.E.L.D. plays a very big and relatable role in both the television series and the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Or, should I say, played. READ FULL STORY

'Arrow' react: 'I am my own worst enemy'

Spoiler alert: If you haven’t watched that April 2 episode of Arrow, stop reading now!

So Slade’s plan is officially underway, and the first three steps seem to be as follows: 1) Tell Thea that Malcolm Merlyn is her biological father. 2) Hijack a bus full of prisoners in order to expand his army. And 3) Tell Laurel that Oliver is the mother freakin’ Arrow. Yep, that just happened. Let’s get into it!

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'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.' react: Deathlok'ed

Previously on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.…well, it’s been awhile, mostly because ABC’s scheduling has been a little crazy. But starting tonight, we’re back with a handful of episodes all in a row, no breaks required. Rejoice!

I don’t know about you, but in the past few weeks, I’ve felt like the show is finally starting to find its feet and become the series it was supposed to be when it first premiered. Those thoughts were validated in tonight’s episode, which gave us a solid mix of action, plot development, and reveal. And finally, we get to see some real agents other than Coulson getting their hands dirty! Be still, my Marvel-loving heart.

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'Reign' react: Oh, Henry

So Henry is absolutely batshit crazy, and I love it. Let me give you some perspective: Humping a woman out of a window was something a sane person would do compared to the things he’s pulling now. Declaring a servant his new queen? Threatening his own sons? And, most importantly, wielding a sword while attending a wedding completely barefoot? Yep, he’s done them all. At this point, I think Henry’s a bigger monster than The Darkness, but he’s also a much more attractive one, and quite frankly, watching him lose his marbles is nothing if not incredibly entertaining. Let’s do this, shall we?

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'Arrow' react: The darkness inside

I sort of wish I were cool enough that if I got three of my exes in the same room, two of them would be related (is that cool?), and two of them would wear masks and know how to kick some serious ass. Unfortunately for me, three of my exes in one room would mean a bit more witty banter and a lot less leather. But that’s what happens when you don’t live in Starling City, I suppose. And in case you didn’t catch the episode and am wondering which three exes I’m talking about, tonight marked the return of Helena Bertinelli, who was later joined by the lovely Lance sisters. Let’s get to it!

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