And then we came to an end. Or a season finale at least. So let’s be honest — who isn’t a little bit relieved? I for one, as a fan of Prison Break, began to see Monday nights as a burden. I watched out of loyalty to the show and duty to the job if nothing else. And maybe a mild crush on Chris Vance. But the last few weeks, let’s admit, have been right twaddle and though I don’t share in the belief that Fox should put us out of our misery and cancel the show, I do propose the following: Give us a few more episodes this summer to take Mike and Linc to a proper end.  And make them good. And I mean very good. Just keep Michael in Linc’s brown blazer. It’s smoking. 

That said, let’s recap with a head count:

1. McGrady. As we all figured, minus a little setback on the road,he basically made a clean break. But did he and pops really need tomake a pit stop to party with the family 20 miles before crossing theColombian border? Don’t you think the cops are going to be questioninggranny and the cousins soon?

2. Sucre. What an upstanding guy this one turned out to be: He’swilling to be buried alive rather than sell out Mike and Linc. Luckily— or not — he escaped that fate and now he’s back in Sona wherearchenemy T-Bag (the dude that sold him out) is king.   

addCredit(“Wentworth Miller and Jodi Lyn O’Keefe: Bill Matlock”)

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Hey Fox, it’s not like I’ve memorized the dictionary or anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s just plain wrong to advertise an episode as featuring “The Greatest Escape in Television History” and then to not show us a breakout. 

What we got instead was a lot of faffing. With Sammy out of the way, you’d think the preparations inside the prison would be smooth sailing, but now the guys have only 24 hours to re-dig the tunnel that took them three days to excavate the first time. Plus it’s raining. In Michael’s words, “Rain. Dirt. Tunnel. Problem.” Even with the proper support, the extra water weight could make the whole structure collapse. The solution? Move the escape up half a day before the ground gets too heavy. So now they have 12 hours to re-dig the tunnel that took them three… oh you get it.  And to make things worse, now they’ve got to breakout at night. Under any other circumstances this would be a good thing, but in Sona that means double the guards and double the jeep patrols. As Elbert Hubbard wrote, “Life is just one damn thing after another.”

So in place of a heart-pounding, mind-blowing prison break, we got a few A-team montages of the guys hurrying to build tunnel supports. We got some old-school Michael, with his plan to cut off the electricity and use honey and dirt to cover the escape hatch. We got some “heart-to-hearts” between Lechero and T-Bag, Bellick and Mahone, and Michael and Whistler. We got to see Sucre use his little gray cells and sabotage a patrol vehicle. We got to cringe and wiggle when Gretchen put out her henchman’s cigar on Sophia’s shoulder. And we got to cheer for Whistler when he actually came through for once and tore up the paper with the coordinates on it, refusing to give in to the Company. Then again, who knows what was on that paper. Could be “Dear Gretchen, clean me, love, your underwear,” for all we know. 

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