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Tag: Ouch! That Was My Ear! (71-80 of 170)

Most Satisfying 'Wipeout' of the Week: Renaissance Man

A lady won ABC’s Wipeout last night! Not just a lady, but “New Mom,” because everyone on Wipeout needs a memorable-for-44-minutes moniker that viewers can latch onto and real names are irrelevant on game shows in which objects repeatedly fly at one’s nose. Whoa, I just realized that what this show is missing is Amber from Clueless on the sidelines, just bitching the whole time about the big balls.

This week’s Most Satisfying Wipeout, a prestigious honor right up there with Dancing With the Stars‘ MVG (most valuable gem), goes to “Renaissance Man,” a Shakespeare-quoting buffoon who kept screaming things like “House of Capulet!!!!!!” out of context. Hey, I guess we do know his real name. Renaissance Man had a special knack for “propeller legs” a la Luigi in Super Mario Bros. 2. He will barely be missed.

To be or not to be on board with Wipeout, P-dubs? That is the question.

Read more:
Last week’s Most Satisfying Wipeout: The Fierce Dragon
‘Wipeout’: Host Jill Wagner talks spills, big red balls

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

PopWatch Confessional: Have you ever disturbed the peace with your singing?

Kate-Winslet-RomanceImage Credit: Everett CollectionThe South Carolina beach community Sullivan’s Island wants to outlaw singing in public, particularly between the hours of 11 p.m and 7 a.m., if you’re loud enough to be annoying. The town administrator told CNN the residents have already voted twice in favor of the ordinance, and if they do so again in July, violators could start receiving a ticket and a maximum $500 fine in August. The exact wording of the ordinance: “It shall be unlawful for any person to yell, shout, hoot, whistle, or sing on the public streets, particularly between the hours of 11:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. or at any time or place so as to annoy or disturb the quiet, comfort, or repose of persons in any office, or in any dwelling, or other type of residence, or of any persons in the vicinity.”

As someone who’s been annoyed by the sound of her neighbors’ stereos (and drunks on the street) on more than one occasion, I can understand the desire to shush people. And I can only imagine the kind of shenanigans a beach community sees when the bars let out. I’m sure there will be some clear-cut cases, but I also see gray areas: Let’s say you’re walking home after a really crappy day and three sober guys in front of you suddenly break into “Day Man” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. If you’re a Sunny fan, this random act of musical hilarity is like a little sign from God that your life doesn’t totally suck. If you’re not, men doing falsetto could be considered irritating. I hate to think I would have missed out on that moment because those guys were afraid of getting fined. Can I suggest an amendment to the ordinance that allows sober people to sing comedy references as long as they’re moving (that way, they won’t be annoying anyone in particular for too long)?

Have you ever disturbed the peace with your singing? My colleague Kate Ward just admitted that she got detention in third grade for singing the hula song from Dirty Dancing in the hallway.

Your turn.

How would you roast David Hasselhoff?

david-hasselhoffImage Credit: Albert L. Ortega/PR PhotosComedy Central’s doing a roast of David Hasselhoff set to air Sunday, Aug. 15. Yes! He is psyched! “I’m honored that Comedy Central is going to get ‘Hoff’ on me,” said Hasselhoff in a statement. “I have always been a major fan of Roasts. Bring it on! I’m ready to take the heat.”

In that case, here is how I would roast the Hoff, if given the chance. I’d let the Hoff soak in a chipotle tequila lime marinade for 30 minutes or overnight. His choice. I’d impale him with a spit, preferably one that’d been soaked in Grand Marnier, because the Hoff used to be a lifeguard and that’s sort of like a mariner, which is sort of like the word Marnier. Of course I’d have to create a bi-level fire; then I’d roast him gently, rotating him and basting him with his own juices for 6-8 hours. Finally I’d carve the Hoff, being careful to discard tough or overcooked skin. I’d serve with a side of cheeseburgers, C.J. Parker’s famous home-cooked hush puppies, and six types of kraut. We’d listen to “Looking for Freedom” to be ironic but then we’d all sing “This is the Moment” before taking the first bite. Fairly standard roasting procedure.

How would you roast this great steed of a human being, P-dubs? And who is the most famous person to graduate from your high school? Because I think the Hoff is it for me, dawg.

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

'Real Housewives' star Danielle Staub recording pop song. File this under: Trends that should die now.

danielle-staubImage Credit: Mark Von Holden/Getty ImagesDear God,

What did we do wrong? Have we offended you in some way? Is there a reason you are allowing our ears to suffer such pain? I can’t help thinking there is, after the way we’ve been forced to listen to the auto-tuned prowess of both Real Housewives of Atlanta‘s Kim Zolciak and Real Housewives of New York‘s LuAnn de Lesseps in “Don’t Be Tardy for the Party” and “Money Can’t Buy You Class,” respectively. And now, to make matters worse, Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub is apparently recording a duet called “Real Close,” with singer Lori Michaels.

Okay, truth is, I haven’t heard Staub sing, so I shouldn’t judge — after all, she says that she used to sing in an R&B band. (And if we’ve learned anything about these women, it’s that they’re not delusional. Sarcasm!) Plus, she has plenty of life experience to channel into her passion. Maybe we have the next Madonna on our hands here and we don’t even know it!

Okay — too optimistic. But however Danielle’s single turns out, please God, make this trend stop with her. Let peace be with us.

All my best,
Kate

Related:
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey': Should we hate Danielle?
‘The Real Housewives of New Jersey’ recap: Friends with benefits

Chris Klein audition tape for 'Mamma Mia!' goes viral. Please tell us this isn't real.

Perhaps you’ve seen this video. You know, the one in which American Pie actor Chris Klein sings “Lay All Your Love On Me” during an audition for Mamma Mia! We’re not sure whether this is a joke or if it’s for real — Klein’s reps declined to comment to EW — but we’re kind of hoping it’s the former. Because then, it would be hilarious. If it’s the latter, well, then it’s the saddest thing we’ve seen all day.

Enjoy?

Clip du jour: Tila Tequila sings live, makes me apologize to my ears

I sat through A Shot At Love, A Shot At Love 2, and, yes, even A Double Shot At Love. And still — even with the image of several men and women downing pig’s vagina in an attempt to sleep with Tila Tequila forever etched in my memory (like herpes, it never goes away) — I can comfortably say this video is more of a hot mess than those three seasons combined.

Look after the jump for a video of Tila Tequila — now called Miss Tila — singing “I Love My DJ” and warbling a cappella(!). Now excuse me while I gain a sudden appreciation for Countess LuAnn de Lesseps’ “Money Can’t Buy You Class.” READ FULL STORY

New poll finds America's favorite singer is Celine Dion. Seth and Amy say, 'Really?!'

Celine-DionImage Credit: John Medina/WireImage.comOr at least I do. Harris Interactive asked 2,320 adults who their favorite singer was, and apparently, Celine Dion tops the list. (U2 placed in second, while Elvis Presley and The Beatles tied for third.) Really, Americans, really? Look at this picture. Listen to this song. This is your favorite singer of the moment?

Heck, you know what? I guess I’m just glad for once, it’s not Justin Bieber. [Vulture]

'American Idol' announces season 9 tour dates. Will you see them in concert?

Idol-top-10-season9Image Credit: Michael Becker/FoxAre you already missing Tim Urban, whose charming Idolatry interview has finally convinced me he is not actually a cardboard cut-out? Well, get ready to get out your wallet: American Idol has announced the dates for their “American Idols LIVE! Tour 2010.” (See the dates embedded after the jump.)

As someone who attends the tour nearly every year with my mom (yes, we are some of the oldest screaming fans, and yes, we are awesome), I feel a bit obligated to see the likes of Andrew Garcia & Co., onstage. But then again, I’m not sure how this tour could possibly top the awesomeness of seeing Kradison live in concert last year. I wonder if there’s anyway to pay for just 20 percent of the concert, so I can show up just to watch Crystal and Lee perform… Tell me, PopWatchers: Will you attend “Idols LIVE!” this year? You have a little more than two weeks to decide — most tickets go on-sale May 15. READ FULL STORY

'Real Housewives of NYC': Listen to Countess LuAnn's 'classy' new single

Class-with-the-countessFollowing in the talentless, Manolo’d footsteps of Real Housewives of Atlanta trainwreck Kim Zolciak, Countess LuAnn de Lesseps now has her own horrible new single, “Money Can’t Buy You Class”.  Needless to say, it’s no “Tardy for the Party.” But then again, what is?

For those who’ve been following the Countess’ exploits on the new season of The Real Housewives of NYC, you already know that this has been a year of big changes and second acts for the Gotham royal. She’s split from her titled husband, returned to the dating market, forged an alliance against Bethenny with mean girl Jill, and generally stuck her nose everywhere it doesn’t belong. Apparently, that also includes a recording studio.

For a woman who looks down her nose at the undignified peons, LuAnn’s dance music gambit is pretty much a case of the pot calling the kettle black. After all, it’s hard to be classy shaking your rump with a pair of headphones on while having your voice mangled by Autotune and singing the chorus: “Elegance is learned…my friends! Elegance is learned…oh yeah!Maybe this is the kind of disco fromage the Countess used to dance to after a day on the slopes in Gstaad back in her modeling days, but her husky man-voice and stiff delivery sounds so god-awful in 2010 that my monocle almost fell out.

Here’s a taste of some of the more choice lyrics: READ FULL STORY

Siobhan Magnus now endorsed by Vote for the Worst: The butterflies told them to do it

Siobhan-Magnus-IdolImage Credit: Michael Becker/PictureGroupIt’s official: Now that Tim Urban has left American Idol, Votefortheworst.com has chosen a new target, Siobhan Magnus. Says the site: “Between the crazy outfits, bad singing, hilarious screaming, and totally Worster personality, how can we not pick her?”

Eh, I’d argue high school student Aaron Kelly is far more deserving of the Vote For the Worst endorsement. Yes, Siobhan might be overdoing the whole screaming thing, but it could be much, much worse. (See: This.) And I would think the site would want to see Aaron stick around long enough to watch him and David Archuleta meet and run towards each other at sonic speed so they could collide and meld into one super-duper teenage powerhouse contestant that wows Clive Davis with a performance of “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down On Me.”

Really, I just think this whole Siobhan-Vote For the Worst thing is a plot led by butterflies seeking more airtime. Too bad they’ll be pissed when Siobhan shows up with a parrot attached to her shoulder next week.

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