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Tag: Off With Her Head! (1-10 of 56)

Very funny Joan Rivers makes not-at-all funny comments about Adele, Ann Curry

This is not a hoax: Joan Rivers called Adele “fat,” for the second time, and also said that Ann Curry was, like, really boring as a Today anchor. While saying both of these things to the Huffington Post, she laughed and laughed — which was weird, because what she said wasn’t that funny.

I like Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers has license to say whatever she wants, and we have a cultural and economic ability to pick her up or toss her away with each new comment. But if Rivers keeps wrapping herself in headlines about speaking snark to power — wrong or right, but without a single wink — does she give us all a reason to forget she’s hellaciously funny, too?

For context, here are both comments:

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Gisele Bundchen explains Patriots loss: 'My husband cannot f--ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time.' -- VIDEO

Sports fans, namely of the Super Bowl-winning New York Giants variety, have been soaking in every bit of expert analysis and endless SportsCenter replays from last night’s thrilling (fourth quarter) rematch between the Giants and the New England Patriots. But while the sports world is wrapped up in stats, final scores, and non-stop footage of Mario Manningham’s game-changing catch, it turns out there’s one person who really knows the final, concrete conclusion about why Super Bowl XLVI ended with the Giants winning over the Pats 21-17: Gisele Bundchen.
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Why did M.I.A. flip the bird during the Super Bowl? -- POLL

We may never know why pharaoh bitch goddess M.I.A. gave us the middle finger while performing Madonna’s new single “Give Me All Your Luvin’” during the Super Bowl half-time show. It’s probably Gisele Bundchen’s fault. But we’ve got to get to the bottom of this. If you don’t agree with our educated guesses, tell us your own theories in the comments. READ FULL STORY

'Kourtney and Kim' divorce finale extravaganza: Was the marriage real? Fake? Why...WHY?!

Now that we’ve had a few hours to absorb the horrific found footage finale of Kourtney and Kim Take New York, it’s time to decide once and for all, was Kim Kardashian’s marriage to NBA star and giant man-child Kris Humphries true love gone awry, thanks to the pressures of self-induced fame? Or a terrible hoax (sorry, hoaks) perpetrated by E! overlords and the Kardashian family to make even more money off a group of people whose one discernible talent seems to be making scads of money by doing so little?  On the bright side, it’s over! (No, not just their marriage, but the entire soul-crushing season of Kourtney and Kim.)

Vote! READ FULL STORY

'Big Brother' pair Brenchel to appear on 'The Amazing Race': Are they reality TV's new power couple?

Alert your fiancés: Rachel Reilly and Brendon Villegas are going from the Big Brother madhouse to locations like Germany, Paraguay, and Azerbaijan to compete on 20th season of The Amazing Race. (I wonder if Rachel thinks they’ll have to get there by Porsche. Beep beep vroom.)

In case you’re not familiar with the twosome that is Brenchel, here’s the rundown: Rachel emerged the crafty winner of season 13 of Big Brother and is the wearer of many sparkly tank tops, and he is a UCLA medical student and Rachel’s fiancé. Oh, and they are both totally bonkers. That said, they are both tremendously entertaining to watch (and against all logic, actually root for) unlike, say, the genuinely terrible people who appear on MTV’s The Challenge: Battle of the Exes. Brenchel may be annoying and cunning, but they aren’t harmful. Well, maybe just to your ears. Or, all of your senses really. Zzzzzzziiiing!
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Soderbergh says 'It's always good to kill movie stars.' What's the most unexpected death scene?

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If you’ve seen Gwyneth Paltrow’s brain dissected in Contagion, you know that Steven Soderbergh is willing to portray stars in a less than glamorous light. But in an interview with The Independent, the Oscar-winning director of Traffic and Haywire practically exuded blood lust for A-listers. Don’t worry, though: It’s all in the name of art!

“It’s always good to kill movie stars,” Soderbergh told the British newspaper. “I think that the two most important things that have happened to that aspect of movies in the last 50 years are Hitchcock killing off Janet Leigh in a way that nobody had ever dreamed of doing – taking his heroine and killing her off after 40 minutes – and… Mike Nichols casting Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate. That changed everything.”

Obviously this means Soderbergh’s greatest dream must be to kill off a character played by Dustin Hoffman. In all seriousness, though, it’s easy to see what he’s getting at. Star power has traditionally acted as a kind of metaphysical protection onscreen. The bigger the name, the better the chances of that actor’s character surviving for the duration of the film. We take comfort in movie stars, those walking embodiments of our dreams and fantasies. If in the midst of a Julia Roberts everygirl rom-com, she suddenly gets her head blown off, we’d find it more than a little upsetting. Psycho rocked everybody’s world when Janet Leigh’s Marion Crane stepped into that shower because people still saw her as the actress they had known and loved in gentle movies like Little Women, Holiday Affair, or the Lassie movie Hills of Home.

Today, movie stars’ onscreen mortality rate is pretty darn high. (WARNING! Many, many SPOILERS ahead!) It’s hard to imagine John Wayne in They Were Expendable or Kirk Douglas in Paths of Glory being offed as quickly or indiscriminately as Guy Pearce at the beginning of The Hurt Locker. Or Lauren Bacall suddenly getting blown up halfway through To Have and Have Not, like Maggie Gyllenhaal’s early exit as Rachel Dawes in The Dark Knight. And I’d love to have seen Joseph von Sternberg try to get Marlene Dietrich, queen of the Vaseline-covered camera lens, to submit to a scene like Gwynnie’s autopsy in Contagion.

Soderbergh clearly got us thinking, so here are ten of our favorite unexpected movie-star death scenes since Psycho. READ FULL STORY

What's your most infuriating DVR failure? Mine won't tape 'Housewives.'

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I understand that complaining about a DVR means I have first-world problems. I mean, we’re talking about a technological aid that we managed to live successfully without for decades of TV-watching. But still, now that the DVR exists and has integrated itself into my daily routine, it is not allowed to fail. And yet, it continues to do so. DVR, you’re simply too big (a part of my life) to fail!

As someone who watches way too much television (and who has moved often in recent years), I have gone through my fair share of DVRs. READ FULL STORY

'Paranormal Activity' to ruin your sleep for a fourth time, but where can -- or should -- the franchise go next?

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As far as horror franchises go, Paranormal Activity might just have the strongest legs to keep going and going and going and going. (Of course, if we’re talking numbers here, The Human Centipede actually has the most legs. Yuck. Sorry. But, if it makes you feel any better, I just lost my lunch at the thought of it, too.)

Between the spooky, getting-better-as-it-goes saga of the possessed Katie and her mounting list of victims and the filmmakers increasingly clever ways to scare the bejeezus out of moviegoers by doing so much with so little (stacks of papers aren’t the only things freaked out by oscillating fans anymore), Paranormal Activity has quickly done what not even the game-changing Blair Witch Project could scare up: The franchise has kept audiences coming back for more, thanks to some clever marketing and worthy follow-ups. (In its opening weekend, Paranormal Activity 3 earned a wildly impressive $53 million, over PA 2‘s $40 million start.) READ FULL STORY

Snooki, Michele Bachmann top 'Bad Science List'

The Sense About Science (SAS) campaign has named Jersey Shore doctor of grain liquor Snooki and Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann as two of 2011′s worst offenders of Bad Science. Bachmann went on TV to tell a story of a Tampa woman who claimed her daughter had become “mentally retarded” from an HPV vaccine, and Snooki — well, Snooki’s sort of a science experiment gone wrong in so many (and some delightful) ways that I’d like to give her scientific claim its own paragraph. Let it breathe a little, like seamen amidst a gust of sea air.

“I don’t really like the beach. I hate sharks, and the water’s all whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.”

The untethered inclusion of “I hate sharks” in there is almost poetic. Think about it for a few seconds. NO, I’m just kidding, don’t hurt yourselves. READ FULL STORY

Rosie O'Donnell vs. David Letterman: Whose monologue was meaner?

Rosie O’Donnell didn’t like what David Letterman had to say about her, or her fiancée Michelle Rounds, during the opening monologue on his show Tuesday night. But, rather than apply the old “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt” adage, O’Donnell opted to hurl said stones right on back. During the opening monologue of her show on OWN, O’Donnell criticized Letterman for his “loving, supportive comments,” when he joked, “The woman she is marrying, her fiance, was driving and her car broke down. And guess what happened? Rosie pulls up right behind her in her tow truck.”

After showing the clip from The Late Show with David Letterman to her audience, O’Donnell said, “Why is that Dave? Why? I don’t remember making fun of you when you had sex with all your interns! I didn’t do that. I didn’t make fun of your rampant, throbbing heterosexuality, did I Dave?” READ FULL STORY

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