Image Credit: Kent Smith/Showtime
Just because most people don’t do a Golden Globes pool doesn’t mean you can’t predict if Homeland will build on its Emmy domination. Let’s take the 11 TV categories to a vote. Remember, this is who you think will win, not necessarily who you want to win. READ FULL STORY »
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Race relations and swingers weekends: Two things New Girl probably shouldn’t have taken on. While I’m not arguing what happened with the roomies last night wasn’t believable, was it necessary Newbies? Most ridiculously, Schmidt took a cue from the Michael Scott Handbook and endeavored to be so inclusive he actually ended up coming off all kinds of racist. Even Winston’s attempt to exploit his friends’ naïveté backfired dreadfully — although with a spectacular Urban Uncle Remus tale along the way. And Nick ended this week’s ep alone and grumpy once again. At least one thing’s constant in this crazy, mixed-up world! Onward. READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Greg Gayne/Fox
Last episode before the new year, Newbies! Kinda makes me sad…. In any case, Winston served as the Greek chorus tonight — as well as Jess’s excuse to avoid happiness (or at least regular hook-ups). He also served up one of my few laugh-out-loud moments of the night. If his penchant for singing along to Wicked has shown us anything, it’s that Winston has a flair for the theatrical. In that respect, tonight was a smash. More on that later…
Back-tracking to Jess’s avoidance of an actual relationship, I’m of two minds: Of course the shipper in me thinks it’s all a time-killer until Nick is done with the stripper whose name I can’t be bothered to remember (Olivia Munn). On the flip side, the feminist in me thinks, Shouldn’t she get a little some-some while she’s waiting? Dilemmas, Newbies! While you ponder them, let’s get started.
Image Credit: Greg Gayne/FOX
Our men were men last night, Newbies. Well, except for Winston — but who’s to say it’s not manly to enjoy pink wine that makes him “feel like [he's] a garden party, and [he hasn't] even left home”? Certainly not me. Also… am I crazy, or was busted, hungover, summer suit-wearing Schmidt the sexiest he’s ever looked? Also bringing the heat? Jake Johnson mid-makeout. I’m no fan of Olivia Munn, but if her presence means Nick gets to be more than a pile of turtle-faced grimaces and Andy Rooney tics, then by all means. And then there was Jess, whose descent into meth-od acting during a particularly harebrained scheme was the low point of the night. Onward… READ FULL STORY »
Well, New Girl, meet pointed satire. Paulilu, a New York sketch comedy group, has released Old Girl, their own spin on FOX’s runaway hit. This time, the new roommate isn’t Jessica Day, an odd but attractive young teacher who’s 90% bangs, but Muriel Rosenberg, a cranky octogenarian played by Helen Slayton-Hughes. She’s quick with age-appropriate pop references — silent film hunk Rudolph Valentino, the ’80s procedural Murder She Wrote – and has trouble with pesky amenities like TiVo. What’s funny is that the dynamics of Old Girl are basically the same as on New Girl. Watch it below.
Image Credit: Greg Gayne/Fox
New Girl is back, y’all. It wasn’t just an episode, it was an epic-sode. I know it’s been a good night when there are too many hilarious potential recap titles. “The Downstairs Girl-Cookie” was an early favorite, as was “The Vagina Helen Mirren.” Then came “Give My Nipples a Purpose!” and “The Sound of An Empty Uterus.” After that, “Vagenius,” “Not a Finisher,” and “Procrastination at the Zoo,” as well as the more culturally inclined “Becoming Ernest Hemingway” and “Losing Nemo,” plus an title by extrapolation “Rhythm Is Gonna Get You,” which emerged in the episode’s final minutes. But the above Schmidt-ism won out for its universality. Fair warning: Dotables will be considerable this week.
And why do I say the show’s “back”? Well, it’s not that the last couple of episodes have been bad, per se, but they were definitely cresting at a 7.5 or so on the comedy scale. (This show typically hums along at a 9 or 10.) With the return of a Jess who feels like she needs to really do something (other than be adorable), not to mention the payoff of all Nick’s inane shout-outs to his zombie novel and the prominence of Schmidt’s sexual shenanigans (with 100 percent more goggles, a highlights-of-India worthy bit of improv by Max Greenfield, and, heck, a little poignancy), I dare say last night was a — if not the – series high.
Image Credit: Ray Mickshaw/Fox
While I’m not entirely sure anything can top last year’s dryer turkey, the news that Jamie Lee Curtis and Rob Reiner would guest as Jess’s parents on this year’s Very Special Episode of New Girl was certainly enough to pique my interest. Put two of the most influential people in Christopher Guest’s life on a show that involves a lot of improv hilarity, add in The Daily Show‘s Rob Riggle as Schmidt’s beer-swilling cousin, and we couldn’t lose, right?
The episode basically took the form that of Friends‘ “The One With The Two Parties” episode, with Jess planning an elaborate Thanksgiving day scheme so her rancorously divorced parents wouldn’t have to spend even a second together. Nick explained her parents to the roommates: Her mom was the “perky” one (which, on a Jess scale means mom’s chirp must go to 11), and her dad… well, let’s just say she told Nick, “You’re going to love my dad, he’s so unhappy.” READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Patrick McElhenney/Fox
Pain and pleasure were the twin themes of last night’s episode, Newbies. Though there was decidedly more pain than pleasure, the few shining moments of goodness — Schmidt telling Cece, “I’ll never want to stop kissing you,” and Nick assuring Jess, “I believe in you” — provided necessary sustenance. They were validation for the show’s decision to take a breather from the usual quipfest and focus on the characters’ interior lives. Now let’s dive into it like Nick into a weird old Asian dude’s serenity pool!
With Jess still unemployed, Schmidt had grown tired of covering for her financially. Winston was no help, explaining that his newly single status was more expensive because “basically I have to trick women into thinking I can buy them stuff.” Schmidt decided to practice tough love by turning off the gas (and, thus, the hot water), which only amplified Jess’s PMS. But her mood swings weren’t just affecting the roommates, they were also jeopardizing her job prospects, specifically when she biffed an interview after a picture of a teacup Yorkie (that looked something like this) reduced her to sobs.
Jess’s emotional outbursts prompted Nick to look inward at his own rage issues. (Schmidt: “I wouldn’t call it an issue. Issues can be fixed.”) Walking to a local park, he sat down on a bench and was joined by a random, unspeaking Asian man. In the course of many soul-searching visits with his silent guru, Nick found inner peace. He placed all trust in his new pal Tran and found himself in a pool spa, where tacitly peer pressured Nick into disrobing and getting in the water so Tran might swirl him around. Jake Johnson’s expressions were priceless, as were his nervous blurts, ”Why are you cradling me like a baby, friend? This is not how guys of my generation hang out. This is a moment that got away from me.” Eventually Nick gave way to Tran’s gentle embrace and the tranquil tone of the in-house Native American flute player, relaxed in the warm water like “a huge baby.”
Nick came home, totally placid and ready to get new wave-y with Jess (by “rapping it out” or at least partaking in 30 seconds of direct eye contact), but he found her depressed from her interview mishap. He invited her to his aquatic sanctuary, setting of a hilariously uncomfortable series of submersions and flailings that at times seemed like they might resemble Nick having sex, boob touching and all. (Hope you enjoyed that preview of coming attractions, shippers!) It was only after the unsynchronized swimming that Nick gave Jess a much-needed pep talk, inspiring her to reapply for the job. Jess will now teach creative writing to adults — or, as Schmidt put it, she’ll be “reading a bunch of old weirdos’ writing.”
NEXT PAGE: Winston gets a visit from Aunt Flo
Submitted by Carly:
“Do you love your legs? ‘Cause I’ll tell you, diabetes doesn’t.”
–Schmidt (Max Greenfield) to Robby (Nelson Franklin), who’s eating a deep-fried turkey leg, on New Girl
Check out the rest of your quote submissions from Tuesday, Oct. 30 and come back tonight to share your pick for best sound bite!
Read more:
‘New Girl’: Zombie Woody Allen
‘New Girl,’ ‘The Mindy Project,’ and ‘Ben and Kate’ review: Girls gone goofy for Halloween? Not exactly
‘New Girl’ photos: Schmidt dominated by sexy new boss Carla Gugino
Image Credit: Greg Gayne/Fox
There were a lot of tricks (welcome back, Sam!) but not very many treats on this Very Special Episode of New Girl. It seems like almost all the obstacles are being cleared to pave the way for fan fulfillment (whether Jess-Nick or Schmidt-Cece). Or maybe these people are just terrible at forming deep, lasting relationships in general. Either way, it made for some laugh-out-loud moments. My personal favorite involved Nick and a protective ghost. But more on that later…
The episode overall hinged on Jess’s seasonal gig at a haunted house. Schmidt pegged her costume as Zombie Woody Allen, and Nick likened it to a “sexy undead Driver’s Ed teacher,” but I like to think she was some mutant hybrid of Ron Weasley and Raggedy Andy. But the ghouls and goblins weren’t the only things going bump in the night. Jess was still involved in her no-strings-attached relationship with Sam. She locker-room bragged to the roommates, “I’m going to kick him to the curb once I’ve used his body like a moisturizer sample.” Then she found out Sam was a pediatrician, and the allure of a caring guy with a soft spot for kids proved irresistible for the former elementary school teacher. Sam tried to keep things strictly sexy, reminding her that he was the “same guy that did [her] in that falafel restaurant — and a dirty one at that.” Then a kid came in and did fishtail high fives with him, and Jess was a goner.
Cece, too, was surprised Sam had such a noble profession. “I had him pegged for a part-time tennis pro or an unemployed handsome guy,” she said. In classic dumb-sitcom-girl fashion, Jess decided the best course of action to keep this hot, smart, sexually willing and able man around would be to test him. She invited him to the last night of her haunted house. If he showed up in costume, that would mean they had potential as a couple. And if he didn’t… well I think we all knew where this was going several episodes back. Or did we? Sam did show, and, yeah, his costume (a clown nose) was a little half-assed, but it still gave Jess enough hope to believe she had a shot. To be continued…
Meanwhile, Nick was freaking out because Amelia (Maria Thayer, a.k.a. Tammi Littlenut from Strangers With Candy), a girl he was in love with freshman year of college, was coming town for a visit. Regretting that he’d never told her how he felt (despite evidence to the contrary in Dotables), he put a lot of pressure on himself to make it happen this time around. But, frankly, the fact that Amelia still wanted to see Nick in spite of his Chris Cornell rip-off style from their collegiate days could only have been a good sign.
In fact, all he had to do was make her up a bed and show her around “the city where many scenes from Beverly Hills Chihuahua were filmed,” and she was ready to make up for lost time. Nick was overcoming his disbelief that she didn’t remember his “whole bag of bad game” in college when Amelia lunged at his face. The kissing was… well… aggressive. Like the female equivalent of “He raped my face” aggressive. Only making things worse, she later carved a pumpkin in the shape of their future family. Too soon, honey, too soon!
NEXT: Honest Abe versus Raphael
