Every week in Sound Bites, EW compiles the best lines uttered in film, television, and pop culture. This week’s quotes include the inevitable “plowing fields” metaphor on The Bachelor, Brandi Glanville’s tendency to overshare on The Celebrity Apprentice, and astute winter-wear observations from Mindy Kaling. Here are this week’s Sound Bites culled from television and social media.
Tag: Mindy Kaling (1-10 of 39)
Hosting a major awards show is a thankless task. Just ask David Letterman and Seth MacFarlane. (Don’t even bother asking James Franco.) Seth Meyers, who won almost unanimous praise for hosting the White House Correspondents’ Association Dinner in 2011, received mixed reviews in his first stint as Emmy host Monday night, with his hometown tabloid detractors pointing to a perception of passiveness that yielded the stage to other, more dynamic performers. But perhaps he should be commended for sharing the spotlight so generously, letting others shine, and keeping the three-hour show moving. Nothing wrong with getting by with a little help from one’s friends, especially when such friends are as funny as Amy Poehler, Andy Samberg, et al.
Looking at Meyers’ Emmys from a raw data perspective, his numbers were solid. He couldn’t compete with last year’s CBS telecast, which was hosted by Neil Patrick Harris, but his show’s 10.9 rating was the second most-watched Emmys in eight years. Perhaps the audience would’ve been even larger if the Emmys had aired on the traditional Sunday night. (Or perhaps not, with stronger competition from Sunday night’s water-cooler cable shows.)
Little known fact: If a speaker name-checks “the documentary” about Elle Woods while talking to Harvard Law School’s graduating class, you know her remarks are going to be good.
That’s exactly the kind of pop-culture-tinged humor that Mindy Kaling — a woman reminded in the opening moments of her speech that, despite playing an OBGYN on television and getting an honorary degree from Harvard Law, she isn’t actually a doctor of any kind — used in her speech at Harvard Law’s Class Day ceremony this past week.
“I know what you’re probably thinking: Mindy Kaling? Why did they ask her?” Kaling remarked. “She’s just a pretty Hollywood starlet. What does that quadruple threat know about the law? Sure, she seems really down-to-earth, and pretty but in a totally accessible way, and yeah, she was on People magazine’s Most Beautiful list this year and also in 2008, but what intelligent remarks could she possibly make about the law? She’s probably too busy doing shampoo commercials! But I’m not too busy. In fact, I would kill to do a shampoo commercial. So if anyone from L’Oreal is out there, please Snapchat me after this.” READ FULL STORY
Julia Roberts’ gigantic mouth looks like it will devour an elephant in one bite. Mindy Kaling is not funny or attractive; she has an annoying voice and just plainly sucks. Emma Stone looks like she smells like cat piss. Matthew McConaughey, quite plainly, is a d–k turd.
All these things are true… according to citizens of Twitter, anyway. They’re each included in Jimmy Kimmel’s latest installment of “Mean Tweets,” which asks famous people to read the nasty stuff that normos are writing about them on the internet. It’s tough to say who wins this round: Gary Oldman, who can barely keep it together? Sofia Vergara, who has a snappy retort to the troll slagging off on her? David Blaine, who accidentally proves his detractor right? No, wait, I know the answer: It’s June Squibb. Why? Just watch.
Spoiler alert! If you haven’t watched the season finale of The Mindy Project, stop reading now.
The half-hour climaxed with Danny (Chris Messina) running to the Empire State Building to meet Mindy (Mindy Kaling) and profess his love. He found Mindy collapsed on the cigarette-littered observation deck floor, recovering from climbing the stairs because she had been told the elevator was out-of-order. It was the perfect not-perfect moment for the show… except I couldn’t stop worrying that Mindy’s purse was going to get stolen. “It’s right beside her arm,” you say. “She could grab it if someone approached.” That’s if she saw the person coming, but she’s at first exhausted and then completely distracted. Had there been a security guard standing above the woman, fine. But somehow, no one cared that Mindy sounded like she needed medical attention and she was unattended. She should have just wrapped her arm through the purse strap at her elbow. But then, of course, it would have been awkward when she and Danny got grabby. I get it. I’m only mad at myself for letting it take me out of the moment we’ve all been waiting for.
Did it get to anyone else? Or have I just been living in New York City for too many years? READ FULL STORY
Sorry, Meg Ryan. Mindy Kaling — via Mindy Lahiri — just gave viewers an updated gold standard for romantic comedies. By paying homage to many of the greats — including all-stars of decades past such as Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail, and, of course, an emotional reunion atop the Empire State Building à la Sleepless in Seattle — Kaling gave fans of her rom-com sitcom the wish-fulfiilling ending viewers were hoping for — but with a weird Kaling twist.
As he displayed last week, Danny has recently discovered he’s very much in love with Mindy. And hanging out with her over the past months has made him realize that when it comes to love — especially if you’re in love with someone who worships at the altar of Bridget Jones — those kinds of declarations need to be of the grand-gesture variety. Cue some channeling of Tom Hanks circa 1998. READ FULL STORY
Mindy Lahiri — a woman who clearly’s watched a lot of Sex and the City — apparently hasn’t watched enough of Carrie Bradshaw, because it took her nearly till the end of last night’s episode to realize Danny is totally in love with her. Yes, that’s after the two of them went apartment shopping together, and after Danny had a totally-crazy-stick-with-me-here-what-if-you-just-moved-into-my-building-into-the-apartment-next-door-to-mine-idea. This basically happened with Carrie and Aiden! He bought the apartment next door and it did not work out.
I know the two situations aren’t totally parallel, but I’m a little rom-com crazy right now. Danny loves Mindy! Danny tried to kiss Mindy! Mindy stood up for herself! Three cheers for Mindy, but, you know, maybe kiss him back by next week. Tim Daly is cute and all, but Danny is willing to eat hundreds of pistachios in order to prevent her from having a chance at hooking up with another guy. That’s true love. READ FULL STORY
“When I need to take the Pill/ I look upon the windowsill…”
Mindy Lahiri and her cohorts dove headfirst last night into what is (somehow?) one of the big political debates of 2014: Birth control access! Dr. Lahiri was counseling an 18-year-old who wanted a prescription for the Pill without telling her overprotective detective father (Tim Daly), who proceeded to find out anyway, and then storm into Mindy’s office to demand answers. “You just watch yourself, you sex-crazed quack. I could get you on the no-fly list like that,” Detective Lang threatened.
Mindy, already on a no-fly list and never one for letting other people win an argument, chased him out of the building and proceeded to give him a piece of her mind. “Where do you get off on coming into my office and yelling about your outdated views on birth control? Who do you think you are, Rick Santorum? Obviously not, because you’re not hot.” (Real talk: Tim Daly is totally hotter than Santorum.) Get it, girl. On second thought, maybe we shouldn’t be cheering in the streets just yet. Detective Lang wrote her a ticket for Public Female Hysteria. Turns out it’s still on the books. READ FULL STORY
Should Mindy and Danny get back together on The Mindy Project, or are they a Taylor Swift song waiting to happen?
Chris Messina broke hearts a few weeks back on The Mindy Project when his character, sexy doctor Danny Castellano, ended his just-beginning relationship with Mindy because he “didn’t want to ruin the friendship” or whatever, a.k.a.: He’s a big baby and fans were/are not amused.
But! The darkness may be coming to an end soon. Messina told Vulture on Sunday, “There is a payoff that I think is worth sticking around for. We just shot the finale and I think it’s our best episode. It’s very romantic.” That lines up with what Ike Barinholtz told EW earlier this month: “I think the dynamic between them is special and different and they are unlike any other couple on TV because they are such distinct characters and they fight so much. To put them back together just makes so much sense…eventually.” The finale episode is called “Danny and Mindy,” so it sounds like that “eventually” may come pretty soon. READ FULL STORY
Mindy and Schmidt, sitting in a tree…Well, not exactly.
But Schmidt, err, Max Greenfield did drop by The Mindy Project Tuesday night and boy was he a welcome surprise. Let’s back up. Mindy was still pretty devastated Danny broke up with her last week (Aren’t we all?). But, as a regular Glamour/Cosmo reader, she knew she needed to get back out there and go on some dates, including one with Betsy’s friend, the nice but unbelievably dull Phil (Adam Shapiro). (Phil = The reason the Lemon Law should be a real thing). Despite having a less-than-stellar time, Mindy was unable to end the relationship and feared she might wind up marrying Phil, because really, what else is out there?
Cue an emotional crisis as observed by lying down on the floor of her office (BEEN THERE). She’s feeling particularly blue because Danny — complete with a very sexy post-breakup haircut — offered to listen to her problems and give her advice, but she smartly declined and instead called in Peter. Peter told her she’s got to start “thinking like a Peter” and being a little selfish when it come to dating. Seriously, has she learned nothing from Wolf of Wall Street? At some point, she’s going to have to try and help herself. (She wasn’t so good at breaking up with Cliff, either. This is what happens when people always dump you first!) READ FULL STORY
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