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Bruce Willis (mostly silent) Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis

The latest installment of Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis features Red star Bruce Willis who, well, doesn’t say much for the first two and a half minutes because Galifianakis is on a roll. “How many children do you have?… Which is your favorite? Ashton?… Do you get his tweets? Like, you call him, and go, ‘Hey, I got your tweets. Pretty good tweeting today.'” (That may not read funny, but Galifianakis’ delivery can sell even the most obvious of jokes. That’s the real punch line of Between Two Ferns, right?) Watch the chat below. Eventually, Willis does speak (and reminisces about the ’80s, when “women were much cleaner”).

P.S. I would love to see Willis in a reboot of Grumpy Old Men in 15 years. Think of two rival Expendables types whose bodies are now too old and beaten up to kick ass. Willis’ character moves to the same middle-of-nowhere American town that Stallone’s has retired to, and they begin to screw with each other to pass the long winter months. In the end, one of them must save the other from a third retiree (Schwarzenegger cameo!), because he realizes fighting with this guy is the only thing that makes old age bearable. Who’s with me?

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Reasons why Bruce Willis should do 'The Expendables' sequel

The-ExpendablesSylvester Stallone is moving forward with plotting a sequel to The Expendables, which has now grossed an estimated $82 million domestically. According to his Twitter page*, he’s busy thinking of the most dangerous places to set the film and trying to talk Bruce Willis into playing its super villain. Reasons why Bruce should say yes:

1. The Expendables ($35 million) outperformed 2007’s Live Free or Die Hard in its opening weekend ($33 million), and Live Free or Die Hard was Willis’ best live-action, non-cameo opening weekend since 1998’s Armageddon ($36 million). Moral: Audiences like to see Bruce Willis blow sh– up, and Stallone will most definitely hand him a detonator (or 20).

2. As much as we like the young guns in The Expendables, there was a different kind of electricity when Stallone and Willis shared the screen. They are equals. And that makes for a good antagonist.

3. We’ve already established that Bruce’s character in the Expendables world is bald. We like him bald. READ FULL STORY

Joey Lawrence-Wesley Snipes action film 'Havana Heat' even crazier/better than we thought!

Lawrence-SnipesImage Credit: Bob Charlotte/PR Photos; Mark Dye/PR PhotosIf, like us, you read the Variety headline “Snipes, Lawrence join ‘Havana Heat'” and needed to know more about the indie action film costarring Wesley Snipes and Joey Lawrence shooting this November, prepare to be very happy. Producer James Ordonez, president of Tayrona Entertainment Group, just gave EW some serious details about the movie and its efforts to be the next Expendables (yes, offers are out to Chuck Norris and Jean-Claude Van Damme!).

• We begin with the plot: “Havana is a mysterious, sensuous city with gorgeous architecture, white Caribbean beaches, hot, pulsating music, vintage American automobiles and some of the most beautiful women in the world. CID Special Agent Sean Franklin [Lawrence] and his partner, gung-ho rookie, NCIS Special Agent Brianna Evans [Fighting's Zulay Henao] are assigned undercover in Havana after another agent is murdered. At the same time, a heavyweight fight between American Ruben Palace and Cuba’s Kid Carlos becomes an international incident when a girl Ruben meets in a salsa club is found dead. Sean and Brenda team up with National Revolutionary Police Force Detective Jose Aguillerra to uncover the mystery behind both crimes.”

• Where does Snipes come in? “Snipes plays Major Evans, Sean Franklin’s boss and father of his assigned rookie partner…. Major Evans coordinates all the infiltration operation in Cuba and will engage once he finds out his best man and daughter are in danger,” Ordonez says. What made producers think to pair Lawrence and Snipes? “As a coincidence with The Expendables, Havana Heat was put together as a retro ’80s action all-star movie. We were looking for a very big teen 1990s idol who still is young and fresh to play the lead action role, and Joey Lawrence was the perfect candidate,” he says. “Wesley Snipes is one of the most recognized action stars of all times… so it was perfect to put them together.” READ FULL STORY

'Expendables' adds to canon of great action movie dialogue

Jason-StathamImage Credit: Karen BallardIf you’ve gone to see The Expendables, chances are you went for Sylvester Stallone’s flair for escapist violence (you know you cheered) and classic action movie dialogue (you know you laughed). I’d say Jason Statham’s “Next time I’ll deflate all your balls” — uttered after he took his knife to a basketball held by the man who abused his character’s ex-girlfriend — is the line that got the best response in my screening (after Stallone’s quip about Schwarzenegger’s character wanting to be president). What was your favorite quip from The Expendables? And what quotes make your list of all-time greatest non-catchphrase action movie dialogue?*

* What I call “greatest,” you may think of as “awesomely bad.”

More Expendables:
Owen Gleiberman: Why retro ’80s action works — and ‘hip’ marketing to the kids doesn’t
Expendables: Who’s the biggest badass in the cast?
Stallone considers sequel to The Expendables
Expendables tops weekend box office
Expendables cast talk meeting Stallone and who’s the most stacked

Mickey Rourke teases Jason Statham (and Jimmy Fallon) for always wearing beige

The Expendables’ Mickey Rourke stopped by Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last night, and the odd couple was so entertaining, I would’ve listened to them talk for an hour. I particularly enjoyed when Rourke razzed Fallon for wearing a light-colored suit. “He dresses worse than you,” Rourke said, referring to his costar and good friend Jason Statham. “Or maybe you guys have the same wardrobe. I make fun of Jason because he always wears beige.” Later, Rourke explained how Stallone tailored the dialogue to each actor. For Statham, it was a dry sense of humor. “A beige sense of humor,” he said.

Watch a clip below. Rourke, who took a small part in the film to repay Stallone for giving him a job years ago when he couldn’t get work, also reveals the first thing he heard when he got to the set. “I see Stallone marchin’ around goin’, ‘Just say the f***in’ line.’ Meanwhile, the guy he’s saying it to could squash him like a bug. I’m like, I don’t know what Stallone had for breakfast today, but he’s not gonna make it to lunch.” (Our guess? Dolph Lundgren.) READ FULL STORY

Laura Linney justifies Jon Stewart's existence on 'The Daily Show': 'There is a lot of truth in scat.'

I think Jon Stewart has a huge crush on Laura Linney now, so that makes all of us. The star of Showtime’s The Big C (it used to be called The C Word, but because the network already had an “L Word,” they went with “Big C,” Linney explained) dropped by Wednesday’s Daily Show to blow Stewart’s mind and tickle his ego with an elegant explanation of how comedy works and why it’s important. “You’ve just made my life seem honorable,” gasped Stewart. “YOU ARE CULTURALLY NECESSARY!” insisted Linney. Oh, there is so much loveliness in the room. Look at her hair! I can’t believe these two had never met. Video after the break. READ FULL STORY

Sylvester Stallone ponders 'Rambo' prequel

first-bloodImage Credit: Everett CollectionAnswering reader questions over at Ain’t It Cool News to promote The Expendables, Sylvester Stallone has left the door open for a Rambo prequel. “I certainly think this is worth pondering because it’s intriguing to find the whys and wherefores of how people have come to become what they are,” he says. “The traumas, the loss, and the tragedy of being in Vietnam would certainly be a great challenge for a young actor, and it would be ironic that Rambo directs younger Rambo after having played it for 20 plus years.”

While I agree with what Stallone says in theory, and would probably see the film because seeing Rambo movies is a Bierly family tradition, I don’t know that I actually want it to happen. Even though he’s fine with another actor taking on the role of John Rambo (which, I realize, should be all that matters), I can’t picture it. Somehow seeing him at war would take away the power of hearing him describe it at the end of First Blood. You’re hanging on his every word because it’s more dialogue than he’s spoken up till then and he goes from angry to broken before your eyes. It’d be like someone making a movie about a young Quint from Jaws surviving the USS Indianapolis. Robert Shaw’s monologue was such a perfect moment, I don’t want to experience it any other way.

What’s your position on a Rambo prequel? If you’re for it, who do you imagine in the role?

Happy Birthday, Sylvester Stallone

Sylvester-StalloneImage Credit: Gareth Cattermole/Getty ImagesToday, Sylvester Stallone turns 64. My present: Admitting something that I didn’t when I wrote about the trailer for The Expendables. I cried watching it. Twice. I’m assuming I’m the only, but maybe I’m not…

A love of Stallone is one of the things I share with my father. If there was a Rocky film on TV when I was young, we were watching it. I remember being amazed that my dad could recite lines from Rambo: First Blood Part II seconds before Stallone said them. In late 2005, my father got sick. When he went in for his first round of chemo shortly before Christmas, First Blood Part II is the VHS tape I grabbed to take with us. My sister and I watched it with him on the VCR in his hospital room, the only sound on an otherwise dark, quiet floor — which made me feel oddly proud. Honestly, I used to tear up thinking that he wouldn’t be able to watch the new Rocky and Rambo films Stallone was making. But he did. He listened to the tape of the interview I did with Stallone about 2006’s Rocky Balboa (around the time my dad started whole brain radiation, Stallone signed a photo to him, “Just keep punchin’, Roger,”), and the day we went to see 2008’s Rocky Balboa will always be one of my favorites.

Today, my father is still fighting, but due to various ailments, won’t be able to see or comprehend The Expendables. That’s why I cried. For the rest of my life, I’ll think of my dad every time I see a Stallone film on TV or in theaters (yes, I’ll be the one sobbing over The Expendables credits). For that, Sly, I say thanks.

New 'Predators' trailer reveals who we don't f-- with

The international red band trailer for Predators raises a multitude of questions:

• Why are they still not freeze-framing on this shot of Adrien Brody shirtless?
• How does Walton Goggins’ character, a formerly imprisoned serial killer, get his teeth so white?
• Will Laurence Fishburne, who gets to deliver the line “I’m the one you don’t f— with” when asked to identify himself, die? Seems like he’s tempting fate.
• Is that one guy Martin Kove, the Cobra Kai sensei from The Karate Kid? (No.)
• Who’s going to see this with me?

Watch below.

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'My Life on the D List' recap: Old Miss Imperfect

d-listImage Credit: Jaimie Trueblood/BravoOn last night’s My Life on the D List, Kathy Griffin judged a toddlers’ beauty pageant with her mom (of course), then put on her own toddler beauty pageant for her mom and a completely bewildered audience. “It’s about making a connection with people,” Kathy summed up looking like the Red Queen, cupcake hands all wrong (pictured). The whole thing was very Sports Kids Moms and Dads, Toddlers & Tiaras, Little Miss Perfect, and Extreme Makeover: Home Edition, Yo Gabba Gabba!, and Night of the Living Dead all wrapped up in a filled-to-bursting tank of disgusting kiddie spray tan. It was exactly like that. Oh, and Kathy’s remodeling her “house,” which is now a war zone. She has no plan, just demolition, stacks of wood, a sad pipe where her bar used to be, and a single glass of white w(h)ine for her mother.

The entire episode was surreal. I only tuned in because Liza Minnelli was on last week; I don’t usually watch this show at full attention, but now I know I’ll never stop. I used to assume I’d want to violently shake Kathy Griffin by the shoulders the whole time, and that’s still true, but I’d want to do that because I love her so much, if that makes sense. Also, I want to get drunk with her mom.

Favorite KG quote of the night: “It was really fun judging the infants. You could judge on character, poise, and if they s— themselves while being held by their gay father.” More gems after the jump. READ FULL STORY

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