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Anatomy of a TV Bitch: A guest blog from the creator of VH1's 'Hit the Floor'


Tonight, VH1’s Hit the Floor, one of summer TV’s potential guiltiest pleasures, debuts at 9 p.m. ET. The scripted show, from first-time showrunner James LaRosa, centers on the Devil Girls, the dance squad for a fictional LA basketball team. There’s naive rookie Ahsha (Taylour Paige), whose mother (Kimberly Elise) was an original Devil Girl and doesn’t want her daughter to follow in her footsteps; Kyle, a gold-digging stripper (Katherine Bailess); and Raquel (Valerie Ortiz), the seemingly sweet single mom. But you know we’re all about Jelena (Logan Browning), the ruthless captain. Looking at the picture above, you can already pick her out (third from the left). Here, LaRosa breaks down the anatomy of a TV bitch.

By: James LaRosa

I love bad bitches, that’s my f*****’ problem.

My love affair started in the womb. From beyond the booming sound of my mother’s heartbeat, I could hear in the pale distance the echoes of women. Bloodthirsty women. Verbally lacerating women. While some mothers read flashcards to their engorged bellies, my mother was mainlining me with life lessons from her favorite soaps. Soaps where Bitches ruled the world. When I was born, I slapped the doctor and then took over his father’s company.

Like snowflakes or Quaids, no two Bitches are alike. However, every Bitch is made up of the same ingredients. Be careful mixing at home as contents can explode and ruin you: READ FULL STORY

This Week's Cover: The casts of 'Arrested Development', 'Clueless' and more get back together in the Reunions Issue!


Are you ready for your yearly dose of pop-culture nostalgia? Entertainment Weekly‘s third annual Reunions Issue brings together ten of your favorite TV and movie casts, from The Larry Sanders Show to Breaking Away. To top it off, fans of Arrested Development, Melrose Place, and Clueless can celebrate their pop-culture favorites with special collector’s edition covers, which are available to buy individually. Here’s a sampling of what to expect:

Clueless: The high school satire may have evolved into a coming-of-age classic, but not every cast-member was immediately smitten with their character. Alicia Silverstone recounts her first impression of Cher: “I thought, ‘Who is this girl?’ I had nothing in common with her at all. I thought she was a materialistic, annoying little bitch.” She and co-star Donald Faison also admit that they didn’t immediately get most of the now-famous slang in the film. Says Faison: “I had no idea what the hell I was saying. What the f— is a ‘Monet’? What’s ‘going postal’ mean? And when they explained to me what it meant, I thought, ‘That’s really messed up!'”

2010 Emmys: Which longshots deserve nods in the Supporting Actor/Actress categories?

bareikis-hopkins-sykesImage Credit: Mitchell Haaseth/NBC; Mitch Haddad/ABC; Michael Ansell/Warner Bros.The 2010 Primetime Emmy nominations will be announced Thursday morning in Los Angeles, and while newcomers like Glee, Modern Family, and The Good Wife are all considered front-runners in their respective categories, you know there’ll also be plenty of groan-inducing kudos for series and actors who’ve passed their prime — or maybe never reached it in the first place. After all, it’s the Emmys, and outrage over snubs is as an important part of the process as rooting for Vanessa L. Williams in the Supporting Actress in a Comedy division celebrating what voters got right.

With that in mind, we thought we could take some time this week to discuss our left-field picks for potential nominations across 10 major categories, starting right now with Best Supporting Actor and Actress in the Comedy and Drama divisions. I’ll get the party started, then you hit the comments section with your own longshot favorites. Be sure to explain your choices, too — we’ll pick your best-argued eventual snubs as nominees for EW.com’s third annual EWwy Awards later this summer.

* Wanda Sykes, New Adventures of Old Christine: She suffered not one, but two cancellations this past season (Old Christine as well as her titular Fox comedy show) but her laughs-per-line ratio as Christine’s BFF Barb was perhaps higher than any actor on television this season. READ FULL STORY

The 100 Greatest Characters of the Last 20 Years: Here's our full list!

1105_coverTo help celebrate Entertainment Weekly‘s 20th anniversary (one more year and we can finally drink booze!), the writers and editors have carefully curated a list of the 100 greatest characters in pop-culture over the last 20 years. Whether the fictional women, men, ogres, muppets, babies, and cartoon rockers who made our list were initially created before 1990 didn’t matter so long as they made a lasting impact in the culture after 1990. Some characters were so inseparable in our minds and hearts — like a certain highly articulate TV mother and daughter, for example — that we simply listed them together. (Hey, it’s our list, so we get to make the rules.) Rest assured, we carefully deliberated, debated, argued, and bickered over who would make the cut and where they deserved to be ranked; after you take a look at our list, please feel free to do the same in the comments. READ FULL STORY

'Glee' star Cory Monteith, 'Melrose' actress Katie Cassidy join the 'Monte Carlo' teen dream team

monteith-cassidyImage Credit: Chris Hatcher/PR Photos; PRN/PR PhotosWhen I saw this bit of casting news this morning, I sent an email to a few pals with a clip and the subject line of: “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Glee‘s Cory Monteith and Melrose Place‘s Katie Cassidy are set to join the cast of Monte Carlo, which already has both Wizards of Waverly Place‘s Selena Gomez and Gossip Girl‘s Leighton Meester on board, according to the Hollywood Reporter. (On a non-teen-happy side note, Andie MacDowell also stars.) Is there any other more teeny teensplosion out there right now?

Monte Carlo is an adaptation of Headhunters by Jules Bass and centers on a young gal (Gomez) who’s mistaken for a socialite. It’s being called a “teen adventure movie,” mostly because a million-dollar necklace goes missing. The girls must put their heads together to find it! Cassidy joins Meester as a friend to Gomez’s character. Monteith, meanwhile, plays Gomez’s football-playing boyfriend. MacDowell, who as you might realize is not a teen dream, is the mother in the situation.

Despite the somewhat wacky and simple-sounding logline, the cast sounds phenomenal. It’s sort of like how I feel about the upcoming Burlesque with Cher, Kristen Bell, and Christina Aguilera — I don’t really care what it’s about, just give me all my favorite people together! You agree, PopWatchers?

Andrew Shue still alive, has gross hammer toes

Since we assume you know how to read headlines and won’t just blindly press play on videos without considering the long-term corneal consequences, we present the following clip of former Melrose Place hottie Andrew Shue on this morning’s Today Show without further comment. Shockingly, this happened during the fourth hour.

Your eyes, Hoda? We’re the ones who got the Wayne’s World-esque extreme close-up. Ugh. Feet. Happy Friday!

Annie on Twitter: @EWAnnieBarrett

'Melrose Place' has a new guy playing doctor

I was thinking, guiltily, that I haven’t really missed Melrose Place during its three-month hiatus, but now The CW has lured me back in with this teaser of the complex complex’s newest resident. Hello, Dr. Drew! (No, not that one.) Let’s face it, a new box of pool tiles would be more interesting than Auggie, but this guy is much better than the Auggster: a) he is playing a character with an actual human personality and b) Nick Zano (the Cougar Town hottie!) doesn’t seem to share an acting teacher with Ashlee Simpson. I’ll let the vampire joke slide just this once, because he’s a hot doctor who also plays beer pong.

I thought I was over it, but now I am definitely going to watch tonight and see what trouble will be stirred up by Amanda and Ella. Anyone else excited for the return of Melrose tonight?

Also catch a preview of Ella’s new fashions and the full teaser for tonight’s episode, “Oriole.”

Your DVR: Which new fall series are you now going steady with?

‘Tis the season to be jolly despondent that the forecast for brand-new network fare looks relatively bleak from now until the New Year. But then again, my DVR could use a little vacation, considering it’s been worked harder than an Anna Wintour assistant for most of 2009. Back in September, I publicly announced my intention to break up with Grey’s Anatomy and Masterpiece Mystery, but while I indeed made good on my promise to axe those series from my DVR’s “series recording” list (as well as The Mentalist), I ended up adding a whopping seven new series to my regular rotation — which either says something about the high quality of the networks’ fall development slate, or the increasingly low threshold of what keeps me entertained.  (I choose the former theory, obvs.) Anyhow, without further ado, here’s the rundown of freshman series that have made the cut at Casa Slezak:

* Cougar Town: One of the very best ensemble casts on television today on a show where the writing grows more confident, funny, and randomly raucous with each passing episode.
* Modern Family: Hilarious/Beautiful. Does anyone not love this show?
* Glee: Yeah, I have the occasional night terror that this frothy rollercoaster is headed straight off the rails, but when Glee is good, it’s fantastic. And any weekly forum for the genius of Jane Lynch gets my “must-watch” stamp of approval.
* V: Quite possibly the worst set design on television — that church front is seriously supposed to look like New York City? — and the teen romance is 1-800-killing-me, but the first four episodes have hooked me nonetheless. Of course, Elizabeth Mitchell could get me hooked on anything — except maybe CSI: Miami. And Heroes. Oh, and Raising the Bar. — and that Mark Hildreth ain’t too hard to look at either.
* FlashForward: I dallied with the idea of deleting ABC’s Lost-in-training after ending up with a backlog of six episodes by mid-November, but even though Joseph Fiennes and Courtney B. Vance occasionally deliver their lines like they’re reading off a grocery list, the rest of the cast is strong enough to help the show get past its occasionally clunky dialogue.
* The Vampire Diaries: I am a rare Twilight virgin (shhh…don’t tell my bosses!), and I’m also one of those weirdos who actively dislikes True Blood, but thanks to The CW’s angsty little gem, I am not completely bloodsucker-deficient.
* Melrose Place: What? There’s not a single shred of junk food in your pantry? Worth it just for Katie Cassidy’s Grade A bitchery, and drinking games involving Ashlee Simpson’s unintentionally comedic line-readings.

Okay, I’ve totally fessed up about my viewing habits, and now it’s your turn. Which freshman series have gotten a season pass on your DVR/Tivo/Life Partner since September? List ‘em all in the comments section below, and don’t even think about omitting anything to make yourself look cooler! PopWatch is a judgment-free zone, after all.

Image Credit: Cox: Eric McCandless/ABC; Fiennes: Adam Larkey/ABC; Somerhalder: Alan Markfield/The CW

'Melrose Place' recap: A new body in the pool, some surprising bodies in bed

Even in Melrose Place’s heyday starring deranged Kimberly, I don’t recall an underwater catfight that resulted in murder. So congratulations, Melrose Place 2.0, you have set a new benchmark with this episode.

I had hoped our patience with so-so plotlines like Anton V and his boring denim line would pay off – and Melrose writers gave us a early Christmas present with this episode cramming in everything but the kitchen sink. Let’s see, “San Vicente” gave us murder, sex, drugs, theft, broken hearts, kidnapping, a Hollywood deal, a relapsed alcoholic, police deception, adultery, Katie Cassidy in black lace underwear – and a partridge in a pear tree. Whew.

In flashback, we found out what Amanda was hoping to find in Sydney’s safe. Amanda confronted Sydney in a church – possibly just to set up her insult: “Atoning for your laundry list of sins? You’re going to be here a long time.” (Meanwhile, that micro-mini of Amanda’s seemed like it was destined to burst into flames in any house of worship.) It turns out these two Melrose veterans had been working together on an art-heist ring (move over, David) and Amanda accused Sydney of stealing a $19 million painting. To add to the drama, it seems like each of them had been having special “reunions” with Michael in the not-too-distant past — we knew Sydney was in on the father-son act, so now how long before Amanda makes a move on David? READ FULL STORY

'Melrose Place' recap: Amanda brings out the crazy in everyone

Week two of Amanda Woodward and the drama on Melrose has definitely ramped up big time. It’s not all to do with Amanda, but her bitchy presence on the show seems to have amped everyone else up to be sexier (Riley straddling Jonah!), crazier (Violet with a baseball bat!), and more scheming (Lauren turns against Dr. Mancini!). Which is all a good thing.

Amanda herself I found a little bit one-note this week (especially in her knee-jerk snappy dealings with Ella) — she can’t always just be a scheming bitch, can she? Don’t we get to see something beneath that exterior?

I won’t complain too much because her jabs are certainly more fun to watch than Auggie sauteeing scallops. Although a few lines about the old times in Melrose felt a little forced this week — not so much Amanda’s dialogue but more Michael‘s “I think you know the address“ and David‘s “was there something in the chlorine back then that made you guys so twisted?” Yes, writers, we get the not-so-subtle references to the pop culture landmark that was the original show. It just seems kind of sad to pound home the memories so overtly.

Crazy Violet confronted Riley about turning Auggie in — demanding to know “how do you sleep at night?” And if there’s anything worse than Ashlee Simpson’s dramatic acting skills on a BIG LINE, it’s a plot line involving Twitter (ugh). READ FULL STORY

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