Get on down, Miss Madge
Your leotard’s like a badge
So with the rumor flying that Mariah Carey recently purchased herself a vineyard, and the decision by Celebrity Cellars to market a collection of bottles inspired by Madonna’s Confessions on a Dance Floor, we thought liquor stores might need some help coming up with shelf-tag descriptions to accompany the new product. Check out ours, or post your own in the comments section below:
Mimi’s Cab-aret Sauvignon: This full-bodied red goes down just like honey, with a slightly nutty aftertaste, and despite the occasional sharp note, we suspect this one will be atop the charts for years to come.
Madge’s So-vogue-non Blanc: This crisp-bodied white comes on a bit strong for some, though its tartness and staying power are cherished in certain circles. Keep in mind that while each vintage has a distinctly different flavor, all bottles are 100 percent Kosher.
First there was Madonna’s Grammy duet with Gorillaz; now comes the news that she’s going to make her rock festival debut on April 30 at Coachella, before heading off on her club tour. Is Madge going alternative on us? Do you think she’ll mesh well on a bill that includes Franz Ferdinand, Tool, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, My Morning Jacket, and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs? I don’t know, but I’d love to be a fly on the wall backstage to hear what Madonna and Karen O or Cat Power have to say to each other.
Looks like Madonna will be taking the ”dance floor” part of Confessions on a Dance Floor literally on this summer’s tour, which will include a number of club dates.Tour creative director Jamie King tells MTV News that Madonna wants to be up close and personal with her fans as well as her dancers, to make the show a more ”intimate experience.” (Uh-oh, this sounds like Spinal Tap manager Ian Faith explaining why the band is playing smaller venues by insisting they’re not less popular, but rather that ”their appeal is becoming more selective.”) King also says that the set list will draw heavily on the current album, with only a handful of older hits. Look for dates to be announced shortly.
Don’t ever let it be said that I don’t totally heart Madonna. Not only did I pay money to see Swept Away, but I can also recite her ”American Life” rap by heart. (”I’m drinkin’ a soy latte…”). Okay, okay, I digress. Anyhow, after catching the premiere of her video for ”Sorry” at AOL Music, it pains me to paraphrase the song’s chorus, but it’s the truth: I’ve seen it all before, I’ve seen it all before, I’ve seen it all before. Partying in a pimped-out vehicle? Madonna did that in ”Music.” Gettin’ jiggy in a discotheque? Very ”Deeper and Deeper.” Impersonating Valerie Cherish at yoga class? Oh Madge, you covered that territory in ”Hung Up.” And it’s a cryin’ shame, because ”Sorry” itself is a thumping, dance-floor delight, worthy of an unforgettable clip to match it.
I remember a time when a Madonna video was an event, a thrilling mix of storytelling and controversy and visual wonder. Remember ”Like a Prayer,” or ”Take a Bow,” or even ”Bad Girl”? Yeah, me too. And sorry, but ”Sorry” simply doesn’t measure up. What do you think, PopWatchers? Am I right, or do I need to down a third Diet Coke and re-watch this video with more caffeinated eyes?
Reason No. 1 you won’t want to miss the opening moments of this year’s Grammys (CBS, Feb. 8, 8-11 pm): Madonna has signed on as the show’s opening number, and she’ll be dueting with ”virtual band” Gorillaz. Now while it can certainly be perilous to attempt a duet with an animated character (to wit: Rob Lowe and Snow White, Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat, J.Lo and Marc Anthony), somehow I’m betting that Madge will find a way to make it look cool. Hey! I know! How about she concoct a cartoon version of herself to take the stage? MTV explains how Gorillaz did just that for the MTV Europe Awards last year.
What would you like to hear Madonna sing with Gorillaz? And, just as important, how should they appear on stage? Holla back!
Riddle me this, PopWatchers: What’s weirder?
A) Madonna’s next video (for ”Sorry”) will be inspired by MTV’s Pimp My Ride.
B) Justin Timberlake is working with producer Rick Rubin (Johnny Cash, Neil Diamond) for his sophomore disc.
C) Barry Gibb is buying the former home of Johnny Cash and June Carter Cash, saying he and his wife plan to ”use the home to write songs because of the musical inspiration.”
D) Def Leppard is recording a glam-rock covers album, featuring the songs of Roxy Music, E.L.O., and the Kinks.
See our pick after the jump.
Time goes by. So slowly. Time goes by. So slowly.
So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly. So slowly.
Oh, sorry, PopWatchers, I was just gettin’ into the groove listening to Madonna’s new Confessions on a Dancefloor, while simultaneously stressing out, wondering if Madge will debut at No. 1 on Billboard’s album chart this week. To get there, she’ll have to outsell American Idol Carrie Underwood‘s Some Hearts, and let me just say, if there’s any justice in the music world, then gosh darn it, she will.
Then again, I really believed America was gonna do the right thing last May and crown Bo Bice as the rightful Season 4 champ over the Oklahoma farm girl, and you saw how that ended up.
Who do you think will triumph in this battle of the divas? The 22-year-old countrified Idol or the controversial pop star who’s old enough to be her mother? Weigh in now. Results (gulp) tomorrow.
addCredit(“Carrie Underwood: Reuters”)