Last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians featured an exclusive preview of Snow White and the Huntsman, which is a movie about a very attractive but slightly older lady who is plotting the demise of an equally attractive but much younger lady, and also Hemsworth. I submit to you, my fellow viewers, that a very similar plotline is playing out on this season of Kardashians. At the top of the hour, we saw dear old Kim hanging out with her young half-sisters Kendall and Kylie. The two girls were having so much fun jumping on Kim’s bed and rolling around Kim’s house. They were young, they were full of life. They were everything Kim used to be. How she loathed them! But she was a pure diplomat for the cameras. “Kendall and Kylie and I have… gotten… closer,” she said, sounding like a sniper who has finally found a good vantage point, or a Roman senator preparing to shake Julius Caesar’s hand. “I just love hanging out with my sisters,” she said, not at all lovingly.
The Jenner girls dominated the episode. You see, after many years of hard work, they finally got a long-overdue promotion. They’ve been named West Coast Fashion Contributors for Seventeen Magazine. Kylie was so proud. She showed Kim her business cards. “Look at the cards we got. They’re so profesh.” Kim regarded the business card. The subtle off-white coloring. The tasteful thickness of it. Oh my God, it even had a watermark! Kim was horrified. She had been dreaming of the West Coast Fashion Contributor job for years. And yet, all she had to show for her vast literary ambitions was a brief stint as the Tehran correspondent for The Economist. And here was little Kylie, who is like 12 years old. READ FULL STORY