In sad news for nostalgists everywhere, today marked the final column of the long-running Annie comic. After nearly 87 years of the freckle-faced orphan’s antics, she has sung her last “Too-mah-row, too-mah-row, I luv ya! Too-mah-row.” Who among us is old enough to remember the pleasure of your mother or father handing you over that brightly colored broadsheet in the morning so you could diligently check in on the happenings of Annie or Marmaduke or Blondie? It makes me feel all of 117 years old when I go on about the old days, but seriously, has orange juice ever tasted better than when washed down with a wistful serving of my beloved Calvin and Hobbes?
Well goodbye Annie… for now. Thanks for the memories, girl. I hope not to see you bastardized on some callous and glossy remake on the Disney channel one day. Tonight I’ll rent the 1982 movie in your honor. (From a video store no less! Take that progress.)
What say you PopWatchers? I wax affectionately and yet I didn’t even realize Annie was still being printed. Am I part of the problem? Do any of you still read newspaper comics, or better yet share them with your kids? Is Calvin and Hobbes the best newspaper comic of all time? Anyone out there care to stage an argument that the 1999 movie is in fact superior to the 1982? Didn’t think so.
I suppose this 
Can someone please give a show to the brunette in the pink satin headband who pointed out the elephant in the room at Gretchen’s tupperware party. Apparently a gal named Mel had leaned inappropriately into Jim’s chair and prompted the ire of Alexis. Nobody leans on the furniture her man is sitting on as he looks disgustedly at a transvestite pimping multi-colored tupperware sets. She and her husband have not spent a day apart in five years and Alexis is not about to let some dark-haired sprite accost him by the hors d’oeuvres table. Jim, who’d been pounding his chest all evening — “I will not be seen front row center at a tupperware party!” — looked thoroughly aroused by the possibility of his being a wanted man. “It’s hard being me,” he preened to Gretchen, after Mel calmly asked Alexis if she wanted to take their inane conversation outside away from the cameras. (Alexis interpreted this as an invitation to throw down and she is not from Jersey y’all.) Finally Jim told Alexis to pipe down and call it a night. As everyone at the party replayed how Jim had become the source of such tension, Pink Headband spoke truth to power. “Uh, can I just say this? He is not attractive. No one was hitting on her husband.” (Andy Cohen, want me to watch your show? Book that woman!)
