Here’s the thing about Splash: It doesn’t actually make any sense. And that’s a compliment — if the show made any sense, it wouldn’t be any fun.
For the uninitiated, here’s what you must know: Splash is a new ABC reality diving competition wherein 10 stars train for six weeks and then, each week thereafter, perform at least one dive for a live viewing audience, two judges, and Joey Lawrence. The judges score the dives; the audience scores the dive. All the while, synchronized swimmers practice their synchronicity before commercial breaks. And at the very tip-top of the hour, a woman walks toward the camera in a fancy dress, surrounded by photographers before — splash! — diving into the water.
Do we ever see any of the celebs actually train (under the beneficent twinkle of former Olympian Greg Louganis)? Not really. Do we ever see what the audience members score each diver? Never. Does anyone ask Joey what his co-host’s name is? Please.