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'Jersey Shore' extended trailer: Snooki gets arrested ... and Sammi leaves?

The new extended trailer for Jersey Shore season 3 has arrived, giving us a better sense of the complex plotlines we’ll see play out when the gang returns to Seaside Heights. New cast member Deena is “exactly like Snooki,” according to Sammi, and haven’t we all been feeling like the show could use another Snooki? (Deena’s first line in the trailer: “It took a day for someone to see my goods!” We really have to do something about our education system.) Also, J-Woww is going through a painful break-up, which is sad, but Snooki gets arrested, which is even sadder. (“I’m a good person!” she screams.) At one point, Sammi appears to leave the house … for good? And, finally,, Ronnie gets a proctology exam. Or anyways, it looks like a proctology exam. And if it walks like a duck and it talks like a duck, it’s a proctology exam. “Hell has to be just like this,” says Vinny, a clear reference to Jean-Paul Sartre’s No Exit. Watch it all below… READ FULL STORY

'Jersey Shore' season 3 promo: 'Jersey girls are a little easier,' and other important life lessons

Because some cruel higher power has decided that we should all be punished for our sins in the most hilarious way possible, a new season of Jersey Shore will premiere on Jan. 6th.  Vinny, the process-of-elimination Smart One, promises that “there will be more hook-ups” this season. What a relief! According to Professor Vin-Vin, “Jersey girls are a little bit easier,” which is the kind of harsh truth you won’t be hearing on more playful, less grittily realistic reality shows like Teen Mom. But the promo clip is full of important information you won’t learn in school:

1. The boys have constructed a rudimentary “grenade whistle” to sound the alarm if any undesirables approach. Soon they’ll be using rudimentary tools, building fires, inventing the wheel, and entering the Bronze Age!

2. New housemate Deena Cortese gets into a fight with Sammi, which proves definitely that she is exactly like every other human being who ever spends two minutes with Sammi.

3. J-Woww’s chest balloons are growing at such an alarming rate that it’s entirely possible that they will block out the sun by Jersey Shore season 7.

Watch and learn below! READ FULL STORY

The Jersey Shore cast reveals teen secrets on 'When I Was 17'

Jersey-Shore-when-I-was-17Image Credit: MTVThis morning Vinny, Sammi, and Ronnie of MTV’s most engaging reality train wreck, Jersey Shore, were featured on When I Was 17. As expected, the trio got into a healthy amount of trouble just shy of becoming legal. One lost their virginity. Another lost a shark. And one really ticked off a sibling. Here are some highlights of how the rowdy bunch spent their seventeenth years.

 

Vinny Guadagnino, 17 from 2004-05

Vinny described his style as gangster guido chic. He was a huge fan of Gucci and Fila velour sweat suits, letting his gold chain dangle from his scrawny neck. He also loved animals, noting that he owned a hedgehog and a shark. Yeah, a shark!

His hobbies included feeding it live goldfish while Jaws’ theme played in the background. But the fun ended when the filter in the shark tank burnt out one night. And with no pet stores open at the hour, he was forced to watch it slowly die. “The saddest part,” he added, “was there was nothing I could do.” Whompers.

Sammi Giancola, 17 from 2004-05

Sammi played soccer for her high school team, boasting that her, “leg muscles were insane.” And she put them to use, leading her team to become conference champs.

Not everything about that year was as joyous, though. One night she stole her sister’s favorite pair of jeans to hit a party. Unfortunately, the fist pumping didn’t last long. The police were called over due to excessive noise complaints and Sammi made a break for it before. She didn’t get busted. But tearing her pants while trying to hop a fence, her jeans did.

Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, 17 from 2002-03

Ronnie was a lazy student who was a regular in the detention hall at his all-boy high school. “That was a good hobby that I participated in a lot,” he joked. One highlight of the techno-loving bad boy’s year was tying his teacher up in class with extension cords. It was hilarious… Until the principal arrived.

One of Ronnie’s better days came when his friend lent him his grandmother’s Camry. He’d later turn it into a lovemobile and loose his virginity in the backseat—with his friends watching from another car. After “about three pumps” he was done, but still described it was “awesome.” The grandmother still drives the Camry today.

You can watch the entire episode after the jump.

READ FULL STORY

Kim Kardashian rakes in the dough; tops list of reality-TV millionaires

kim-kardashianImage Credit: George Pimentel/Getty ImagesKim Kardashian earned an estimated $6 million this year, topping the list of high-earning reality stars compiled by The Daily Beast. Excuse me while I go die 1,000 deaths. She topped Lauren Conrad ($5 million), Bethenny Frankel ($4 million), Audrina Patridge ($3.5 million), Kate Gosselin ($3.5 million), The Situation ($3 million), Khloé Kardashian ($2.5 million) and Kourtney Kardashian ($2.5 million), Pauly D ($2 million), and Kendra Wilkinson ($2 million).

That’s four stars from E!, four from MTV, one from Bravo, and one from TLC — and I’m sort of surprised that of the top 10 reality earners, 8 are female. Perhaps male stars are less likely to have fragrances, clothing lines, spin-offs, and diet-product endorsement deals? All but two top-earners have books, too, so get thee to a literary (well, “literary”) agent, Pauly D and Audrina! The list only includes celebs whose shows aired in 2010, and whose rise to fame came from their reality roots — so it doesn’t include, say, Donald Trump, who presumably would trump even a Kardashian.

I’m surprised not to see the ubiquitous Snooki on this list. Who surprises you, PopWatchers? Did you expect the Duggars to be raking it in?

Canada's 'Jersey Shore' will either save civilization or destroy it

Fellow Americans, if you think our country has problems, I urge you to watch the extended preview for Lake Shore, a Toronto-based reality series that explicitly imitates Jersey Shore but turns up the boozy-sexy insanity and the caveman-like racial sensitivity. The eight cast members are all described by their ethnicity: “The Turk,” “The Jew,” “The Albanian,” etc. But this is Canada, so surely everyone will come together peacefully to break down stereotypes, right? Wrong, PopWatchers … wrong wrong wrong! Joey, “The Italian,” points out that his cap proudly advertises “#1 Wop.” “The Vietnamese” housemate is nicknamed “Annie Mei,” and I just threw up a little bit in my mouth. Karolina, “The Pole,” officially enters the Hall of Shame with this bit of non sequitur Hiter-youthism: “I’m not racist. I hate everybody equally. Especially the Jewish people.” (Crap, I threw up again!)

But don’t take my word for it. Watch the video below. I recommend drinking out of a water bottle while you watch, just so you can do a spit-take. READ FULL STORY

Who is the most under-appreciated Entertainer of the Year? (Top 64, Part 2)

Underappreciated-Entertainers-2AImage Credit: Michael Yarish/CBS; Michael Yarish/Fox; Rankin; RJ ShaughnessyYou nominated them — now it’s time to vote for who you think is the most under-appreciated entertainer of 2010! Because though Valentine’s Day is still several Hallmark holidays away, when do we not feel like showing our love for Hollywood’s most unsung heroes? But there can only be one: In anticipation of our upcoming Entertainers of the Year print issue, we’re asking you, dear readers, to crown who you think is the most under-appreciated star of the year. This time around, a doctor (from House) is in the house: Robert Sean Leonard faces off against Criminal Minds‘ Thomas Gibson in the TV category; Kelis attempts to drink Sia’s milkshake in the music category; The Runaways‘ Michael Shannon tries to, well, run away with the vote against The Town‘s Rebecca Hall in the movie category; and Jersey Shore‘s Angelina Pivarnick threatens to steal The Bachelorette’s Chris Lambton’s rose in the reality-TV category. Submit your round 1, day 2 vote after the jump, and click here to check out our entire bracket of 64 competitors.  READ FULL STORY

The Situation wants 'Today' show viewers to know that 'grenade' is a humorous term

Today The Situation can add “author” to his ever growing resume. (The day the phrase “New York Times best-selling” precedes that “author” will be one that may make me shed a single tear.) To promote his new book Here’s The Situation, Mike Sorrentino stopped by the Today show for an interview with Al Roker, who asked him about the interesting subtitle for his book, “A guide to creeping on chicks, avoiding grenades, and getting in your GTL on the Jersey Shore.”

For us Jersey Shore faithful, that subtitle seems innocuous enough. Sitch’s talking points on the show don’t seem to go past grenades, creeping on girls, and GTL, and that may be why I personally derive so much laughter at his expense enjoy him. But Roker, like so many people, rightly questions whether the term “grenade” — a not-so-attractive girl for those not down with the lingo — is offensive to women. (See video embedded after the jump.) READ FULL STORY

J-Woww passes on lucrative 'Playboy' offer for something 'better'

jersey-shore-J-WOWWJersey Shore‘s Jenni J-Woww Farley told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show yesterday that she passed on a $400,000 Playboy shoot because there’s “a better opportunity out there, which everybody will probably see soon,” though she wouldn’t divulge what that might be.

“Better” than almost half a mil to slide the halter down half an inch? Color me intrigued. You?

Read more:
15 most outrageous moments of Jersey Shore season 2
J-Woww enters the world of pro wrestling

If you like Ed Hardy, cross Stonnington, Australia off your vacation destination list

Jon-Gosselin-Ed-HardyImage Credit: Splash PicturesIt’s time to add Stonnington, Australia to the list of world cities I am tremendously interested in visiting. It also might be time for TLC to consider filming an episode of Kate Plus 8 down under, because the city of Stonnington has just banned all Ed Hardy clothing. If only American lawmakers would take note of this glorious signage and rid our city streets of glittering skeleton shirts once and for all. It may eliminate “T-shirt time!” from the cultural zeitgeist, but I can live with that.

The hilariously aggressive sign, which was posted on the door of an Ed Hardy shop that has recently gone out of business, rightly lambastes the brand for “contravening style and taste laws,” before it dropped the f-bomb, naturally insulted the Jersey Shore (even in Australia!) and made a few digs at the type of person who’d wear the bedazzled t-shirts in the first place. I know this sign is not ever going to be backed up in a court of law, but it’s not the first time Australians decided to ban the wearing of Ed Hardy at public events; just last year, an event in Perth, Australia banned Ed Hardy in an attempt to create “an environment where people can be comfortable and confident.”

What do you think, PopWatchers? Would you like to live in a town where t-shirt time doesn’t exist?

'Jersey Shore' recap: Don't let the outfit confuse you

Last night, J-Woww wore a dress that made full-frontal nudity look like G-rated Pixar stuff. It was like seeing those black “censored” bars in dress form. As if she had stolen netting from a sadomasochist barbarian fisherman, cut out a couple strips roughly as wide as a crayon, and then rubber-cemented those strips over her lady parts. In what I can only call a demure moment, she decided to cover her girls with glow-stickers. “I look at her, and I think, this girl’s a f—ing whore!” said Snooki, sounding like the proud mother of the first female President of the United States.

Remember last week’s slappy-kissy drama? The Situation magnanimously decided to apologize by writhing on top of Snooki and screaming, “Accept my apology!” Snooki quickly agreed, and spent the rest of the episode mourning Ryder’s departure by spouting semi-sentient phrases like ‘The sun’s very powerful today,” and “Guido juicehead gorillas, sweaty tan…boys.” That last one was a complete sentence. (Does anyone else think that Daytime Snooki’s voice sounds almost exactly like the demonic bleats of those terrible Quizno’s Cats.)

READ FULL STORY

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