Image Credit: MTV
Jersey Shore is a TV show about drunk man-children and pugnacious girl-women who make poor life choices loudly. Florence is the historic city which was once home to some of the greatest artistic minds in the human race: Leonardo da Vinci, Michelango, Raphael, Donatello, and lesser artists whose names are lost to history largely because they never became Ninja Turtles. The notion of MTV filming a season of Shore in the city is a perfect combination of the sacred and the profane, roughly comparable to putting a Whoopee Cushion on a throne that belongs to the Pope. But recent reports indicate that the upcoming season of the smush-tastic series will indeed film in Florence. Unfortunately, the locals don’t seem too welcoming to Snooki & Co.: According to the New York Post, Florence Mayor Matteo Renzi told Italian newspaper Corriere della Sera that he would only allow the show to film in Florence if they followed certain restrictions. These include: READ FULL STORY »
Jersey Shore‘s third season concluded last night with an utterly useless reunion show. The Situation wore an emo-hoodie that made him look like an evil supervillain lurking in his evil smush-cave. Snooki said that she didn’t love Vinny anymore. Awwwww. But only because he’s transformed from a lovable everyguy into a girl-crazy douche-rocket. You tell ‘em, Shnookums! Deena actually said ”Poop comes out of your butt.” (Science!) Good news: Sammi and Ronnie are still split up! Bad news: They still love each other! Ronnie explained that he felt betrayed when Sammi tried to hook up with other guys when they were broken up. The Julissa 3000 Interview-Bot (patent pending) pointed out that Ronnie actually had hooked up with other girls when they weren’t broken up. Isn’t that even worse? Ronnie looked confused. Paradox Hurt Ronnie’s Ape-Brain! (Ronnie only pawn in game of life.) Also, The Situation’s new name is “The Instigation,” which is coincidentally the subtitle for the next TRON and Bourne sequels. In conclusion, the girls burp like guys, the guys tan like girls, humanity has evolved beyond gender, and we are all robots. Thus, life is chaos. Thus, season 3 is over. 
