This just in from our now-blind assistant photo producer…
Oh, Rod! How low can you go?
So the new Bond flick is coming out this weekend… haven’t you heard? Well, while I was doing my photo research for the best and worst Bond girls, I came upon Britt Ekland (The Man With the Golden Gun) with another ’70s heartthrob. Yes, folks, that’s right, Rod Stewart! Who knew the tankini phenomenon all started with a dude?
I’ve always wondered why Bond theme songs continue to cause such a fuss. It just seems like there hasn’t been a decent title song for the series in a long time. Speaking of which, Casino Royale‘s theme, "You Know My Name," sung by Chris Cornell (pictured), is officially out now. (PopWatch found the song online for you back in September). The Audioslave frontman (a career choice I haven’t quite forgiven the former Soundgarden-er for) tries his darnedest to make a memorable anthem for Bond to rock to, but in recent tradition, fails utterly.
Not that I’m surprised. I mean, the last few Bond songs haven’t had shelf lives longer than their respective movies’ opening weekends (have you been thinking much about Sheryl Crow’s "Tomorrow Never Dies" or Madonna’s hideous "Die Another Day" lately?) "You Know My Name" is fine for background music as Bond speeds off in his Aston Martin, but with cheesy lines like "I’ve seen diamonds cut through harder men" and "The coldest blood runs through my veins," not even Cornell’s powerhouse vocals can save the tune.
When oh when will a popstar rise to the occasion and give 007 the theme song he is so due? (I’m not holding my breath.) And which Bond themes can you still listen to without cringing?
Attention, colonists: It is official. The British love their new blond Bond. As far as the papers are concerned, he’s as good as knighted, his license to kill renewed at least for the duration of the Gordon Brown administration. The Daily Telegraph says he "steps with full assuredness into Sean Connery’s old handmade shoes" and has a face "like an Easter Island statue." They do not come out and say that some of his predecessors had faces like an Easter bunny statue, but they come close. They praise his tough physique and “acting.”
I haven’t seen this film. But that’s not going to stop me from agreeing wholeheartedly with these mysterious British critics. Or, at least, hoping they’re right. I’ve been a big believer in Layer Cake’s Daniel Craig from minute one, and the earliest trailers (with their tamped-down paranoia, flecks of inelegant brutality, and basic theme of “how a womanizing government thug becomes a debonair murder artist”) got my martini in a twist. (That last phrase… worst thing I’ve ever written? Or worst thing ever, period? Vote below!)
“How James became Bond.” That’s a nice tagline. We’ve all wondered. And this is not an acceptable theory, I’d argue.
I have just scientifically proven beyond the shadow of a reasonable doubt that you can indeed get too much of a good thing. Case in point: I haven’t yet fully digested the new Scissor Sisters CD sitting on my desk — nor the Fergie disc that, like a McGriddle, is bizarre yet tasty, and also gets covered by a stack of papers any time a coworker comes into my office — and already there’s four artists streaming online who are competing for my very limited ear schedule. (BTW, ”ear schedule” is the new ”ear delicious”; do try to work it in to casual conversation.)
First up, the indispensable Beauty N the Beat has four song snippets from the one CD I’m most excited about for fall: Fantasia’s not-yet-titled sophomore release. Granted, the title ”Baby-Makin Hips” is tres alarming, but are you gonna sit there and tell me you don’t love the lyrics? Come on, ”See that wobble-wobble/Shaped just like a cola bottle” is the best ode to bootyliciousness since ”I don’t think you’re ready for this jelly.” Not only that, the beat is so hot that if it doesn’t get you up and out of your chair, then I implore you to head to the pharmacy for a bottle of Vitamin Soul. My only problem with the track is that I can’t I.D. the horn sample in the background. Help a blogger out, folks! Anyone?
James Bond is supposed to be both badass and debonair. He’s supposed to be able to take out a roomful of bad guys without spilling his martini. Sean Connery and Timothy Dalton’s Bonds seemed to favor the badass side of the equation; Roger Moore and Pierce Brosnan’s the debonair side. But I believe Daniel Craig will be able to handle both sides equally well, judging from this new trailer for Casino Royale (Nov. 17). Watch him kill in cold blood during the black-and-white prologue. Watch him romance Eva Green. Watch him kick some more ass without mussing his tuxedo. And without dropping any annoying puns. Count me in; I’m ready.
Don’t expect a lot of today’s PopWatch. The blogfather is dog tired.
You see, I stayed up most of the night playing this totally addictive online poker game that Sony Pictures launched as part of its Flash-y new website for Casino Royale, the next James Bond film. We’ll have to wait until November 17 to see if Daniel Craig (pictured, of Munich and Layer Cake fame) can change the minds of all the nay-sayers out there who don’t think the actor is soigné enough to slip into Pierce Brosnan’s tux, but in the meantime, JamesBond.com is all Casino all the time.
As the plot of the new film purports to show us how Bond became 007, the site is devoted to the superspy’s backstory. Hack into M’s computer to read her top-secret personal dossier on Mr. J. Bond. His parents died in a climbing accident? Expelled from Eton for a dalliance with a maid? He used to — gasp! — box? The best part: A posh British voice will read all these documents to you, preventing you from having to actually, you know, read. There are also the typical mutimedia options (character bios, trailer, photos) to keep all you Bondaphiles in the know.
But as the centerpiece of the new film will surely be its swank casino setting, it’s the interactive poker game that anchors the site’s cards-and-chips motif. Play against the computer, other players, or set up your own game of friends — it’s that easy. Which brings us back to my newfound gambling addiction. My luck is changing. I’ve almost won back the 1,000 fake dollars I’m down, and the Aces are just rolling now. And yes, I’m getting help.
(Disclaimer: PopWatch does not endorse gambling. Even fake movie-fantasy gambling. Let the blogfather be a cautionary tale.)
[UPDATE: After a brief detour through France, the Casino Royale trailer has made its way to the English-speaking world. (Francophile PopWatcher Nephilim's flawless translation filled us in on the dialogue yesterday.) Personally, I got chills when M (Judi Dench)said "Any thug can kill." Very true, Dame J. So how does a thug becomea suave Double 0? That's the question Craig must answer with hisscuffed, unrefined take on Bond. Will a darker takeon the world's favorite outsized near-caricature of a superspy getbouquets or brickbats from fans? You tell me.]
How do you say Casino Royale in French? As Quentin Tarantino might tell you, it’s ”Casino Royale with Cheese.” That’s what’s served up here on YouTube in this French-language teaser for the upcoming 007 movie. It’s disappointingly standard-looking — stunts, fireballs, chicks in bathing suits emerging slowly from the surf. Ah, but there’s that dubbed French dialogue between Bond (Daniel Craig, pictured) and M (Judi Dench) that adds a patina of mystery… since my French is so rusty. Their momentary exchange went something like this:
BOND: I am world-weary with world-weariness.
M: This situation with SPECTRE stinks like a ripe, soft Camembert. We should probably just surrender now… wait a minute, you’re not Pierce Brosnan.
BOND: Yeah, I’m the new guy. Get over it already.
M: Well, you’d better pull off this mission or Sony will fire us all.
BOND: Ah, the meaninglessness of it all. Now I will go outside and smoke many cigarettes.
And… scene!
How does Agent 007 fight his most troublesome foe: negative buzz? Perhaps by offering reporters a trip to the Bahamas, to the set of Casino Royale. That’s what the film’s producers did this week, and it seems to have paid off with an avalanche of mostly positive coverage from international print, TV, and online reporters.
For instance, USA Today writes that the film may be ”the first art-house-style 007 movie.” The paper’s article and an accompanying photo of Daniel Craig in action suggest that this will be a much grittier, grimier Bond movie than we’re used to, with a hero who relies more on his wits than on Q’s gadgets, which will be absent from the film. (USA Today also has a cast photo gallery.)
Reuters lets Craig defend himself against the hatas who say he’s miscast. Second-string Bond girl Caterina Murino tells MTV News that shooting a love scene with Craig ”felt very, very good. Danny is a great actor and I was comfortable with it. Very sexy. He has a great, huge body. He’s very sexy, I think the sexiest in James Bond’s history.” Okay, okay, we get it.
Fans who want more reassurance, or who just want to see some cool behind-the-scenes footage, can watch the TV reports from Extra and the BBC. And there’s still more news from the set at SuperHeroHype, including a mild spoiler about the new opening sequence.
So, are you finally feeling shaken and stirred about Casino Royale? Can we finally spill that Craig Haterade down the drain, or do you remain unconvinced?
Hasn’t poor Daniel Craig suffered enough this week? First, he reportedly gets two teeth knocked out while filming a Casino Royale fight scene. Now, along come some disgruntled James Bond fans with a new website, craignotbond.com, that urges fans to boycott the upcoming film because they don’t think Craig is fit to check the oil of Bond’s Aston Martin. (Their chief complaint seems to be that they don’t like his looks, as is apparent from this cruel but funny page of separated-at-birth photos.)
Enough. You Craig-hatas out there need a license to chill. All you naysayers should rent Layer Cake, where Craig proves he can handle the gunplay, nightlife, and international intrigue requirements of the 007 role; in fact, he plays a guy so cool he doesn’t even need a name. Craig’s dramatic work in such movies as Road to Perdition, Enduring Love, and Munich speaks for itself, and if you’re worried that his unconventional appearance means a lack of sex appeal, allay your fears by watching him smolder in Sylvia or Love Is the Devil.
Okay, he’s not very funny or polished, but then he’s not being asked to play the quip-a-minute, every-hair-in-place Bond of the Roger Moore era; rather, he’ll be the brutal, two-fisted Bond of Ian Fleming’s first 007 novel.
Think of Craig as one of Q’s cunning and deadly gadgets: now that he’s been given to you, don’t you want to take him into the field and see what he can do?
(Drum roll please…)
…little known French actress Eva Green (The Dreamers, Kingdom of Heaven), who’ll play Vesper Lynd opposite the new 007, Daniel Craig — as well as recently cast villain Mads Mikkelsen — when Casino Royale hits theaters in November. Adding a dollop of critical clout to the flick, Jeffrey Wright is also joining the cast as stealthy CIA man Felix Leiter.
And thus ends weeks of breathless speculation in the James Bond casting sweepstakes. Now, let the inevitable post-announcement kudos/kvetching begin.
