The last couple of weeks have been worrying ones for someone who has been tasked with writing a “Hater’s Guide” to each Twilight movie but who remains open to the possibility that one day the vampire franchise might actually produce a decent film. After all, if an infinite number of monkeys given an infinite amount of time can write the works of Shakespeare, then it would surely take just one chimpanzee a few weeks to write a film better than, say, 2008’s thunderingly dull series opener Twilight or 2009’s The Twilight Saga: New Moon which, to the best of my recollection, consists entirely of Kristen Stewart’s heroine Bella looking out the window and watching the seasons change. In real time. READ FULL STORY
Tag: Horror (21-30 of 362)
From South Park parody to musical adaptation to Funny or Die sketch to sock monkey to foot tattoo, it has long been clear that the NSFW Human Centipede torture porn franchise really is the gift that keeps on giving. But we never expected Tom Six’s deranged horror movies to gift us the quite delightful, kiddie-friendly t-shirt design you can see on the left.
The illustration comes from the Threadless website, where it is accompanied by a children’s poem about a “centipede human” who was always in a hurry — “He was late for his work, and late for his lunch/He was late for supper, and late for Sunday brunch” — until one day he decided to watch the Human Centipede and (spoiler alert!) died from a heart attack.
Which is sad — but, in the world of the Human Centipede, probably qualifies as a happy ending.
NBC’s pilot for Grimm aired last night, and while it wasn’t exactly what its unfortunate title might suggest, there’s still some work to be done. The show is like CSI with a case of the heebie-jeebies… SVU if Stabler could see spooks! Homicide detective Nick Burkhardt (David Giuntoli) learned he was descended from the brothers Grimm, could see demons, and was fated to spend the rest of his days hunting the pests. So how did this all play out in episode one? READ FULL STORY
Paranormal Activity 3 has arrived in theaters to a glowing A- review from EW. An A- is impressive for any sequel, let alone a third film in a horror franchise. The last non-vampire horror movie I saw in theaters was Scream 3 in 2000. As a single woman who lives alone, enjoys sleep, has an active imagination and a history of needing to move the VHS copy of The Exorcist to her roommate’s side of the room after watching it in college, I just don’t need to risk it. But again, the latest review intrigued me, and so, in the safety of my office, in midday, with the lights on and the door open, I decided to watch the first film on Netflix. Is it still scary? READ FULL STORY
Rubber Man! The flukeman! The Man from Another Place! Television has a longstanding history of giving viewers the heebie-jeebies, whether it’s via a bald, nearly-silent observer who can seemingly read your mind, or a posse of desperate humans covered in guts so they can safely pass through a pack of zombies.
But what TV show has been the absolute best at slithering underneath our skin and haunting our slumber for days after it airs? Is it the newest addition to the horror show coterie, FX’s American Horror Story? Is is a short-lived-but-no-less-sinister mid-’90s show like American Gothic (with Gary Cole) or Millennium (with Lance Henriksen)? Is it the show that helped inspire The X-Files, the 1974 cult favorite Kolchak: The Night Stalker? Or is it a death match between the grandpappy of hair-raising television, The Twilight Zone, and its upstart cousin The Outer Limits?
Vote in our poll below and then defend your choice in the comments! UPDATE: The poll is now closed, but let us know what you think of the results in the comments! READ FULL STORY
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