Rocky Balboa vs. Ivan Drago. Al Pacino vs. Robert De Niro. Alien vs. Predator. The multiplex has played host to countless epic grudge matches. This weekend, a new showdown entered the history books. On the stage of Fast Five, we witnessed a fight between two of the last American beefcake action stars. In one corner — wearing white tank-tops and mouthing saintly baritoned aphorisms about the desperate existential necessity of family — stood Vin Diesel. In the opposite corner — modeling tight black Under Armour T-shirts, a government-issue bulletproof vest, and a beard on loan from Evil Spock — stood Dwayne Johnson, the Once and Future Rock. Both men had shaved their hair to the bone, so in their rare moments onscreen together, they resembled a pair of pugnacious Pachycephalosauruses, the mythic creatures that supposedly impressed their dino-maidens by head-butting rivals into oblivion. READ FULL STORY
Tag: Heavage (41-50 of 90)
new DWTS cast. Sorry about the delay — I had to spend the entire day figuring out who the hell these people are. Just kidding! Google is easy. No, I spent much of the day seeking out the rumored Star-Pro pairings for season 12.Well, well, well. I’m sure you’ve been on the edges of your sequined armchairs waiting for my reaction to the
Sadly, Enthusiastic Activia Lady Jamie Lee Curtis could not find time in her busy schedule of eating yogurt and crafting paper bracelets to answer my late November prayers. WTF, EAL?
The couples in the running for season 12’s COVETED MIRRORBALL TROPHY…. are…. coming up, after the break! READ FULL STORY
You didn’t think I’d suppress my hidden gem-hunting nature for four whole months, right? Many thanks to the few, the proud, the Top Chef recap-readers who nominated Hidden Truffles this week! After the jump, Tom sprouts pigtails, Happy Dale gets frisky with a tube of Ritz Crackers, Casey wakes up with someone’s patterned-panted butt in her face, and more! I’m like a pig in dirt, now more than ever. READ FULL STORY
Steve McGarrett started off last night’s episode of Hawaii Five-0 sleeping next to the most perfect woman ever. She’s a Navy lieutenant who catches bad guys, is a great cook, likes her steak bloody, doesn’t seem to mind if you disappear for 36 hours at a time, and is played by Michelle Borth, last seen in flagrante on Tell Me You Love Me. Steve and his dream girl were all set to skip breakfast. They rubbed noses. They kissed. “I think I’m vibrating,” says Ms. Perfect. CBS, I know it’s 10 p.m., but behave yourself! Oh, wait, no, hahaha, it was just the iPhone. The Caller ID proclaimed: “Governor Jameson.” Thanks, Uncle iPhone!
Shenanigans ensued. The first bad guys of the evening were girl-enslaving gangsters, but then the real bad guys were Filipino terrorists. Meanwhile, the Steve/Danno flirtation reached a new high level of low geekery: Steve asked Danno if he ever made it to the Double-Pretzel level of Ms. Pac-Man. Danno: “Triple-Banana, bitch.” God, these guys are awesome. In the end, the evil Coach Tanaka was captured, the diplomat’s daughter was saved, and Steve treated his ladyfriend to a roast dinner on the beach. Except, uh-oh, they got too distracted by each other’s ridonk hotness to finish dinner! So, to recap the narrative arc of the latest episode of Hawaii Five-0:
1. Steve McGarrett had hot glamorous sex with the perfect woman.
2. Steve McGarrett solved a mystery and defeated terrorism in the Philippines forever.
3. Steve McGarrett had hot glamorous sex with the perfect woman on a beach.
Click forward for this week’s Bingo Board!
a press release. (Funny, I never considered those two things mutually exclusive.)A new VH1 reality show will take viewers into the life of new father and former Saved By the Beller Mario Lopez “from the hottest parties to the dirtiest diapers,” according to
The Extra host and his girlfriend Courtney Mazza (a dancer he met while performing in A Chorus Line.) welcomed a baby girl, Gia Francesca, in September. The show, full title Mario Lopez: Saved by the Baby, will follow their journey as new parents and Lopez’s quest to show off his bulging biceps as often as possible. That’s not a complaint.
It appears my calendar is frighteningly clear the night of the Nov. 1 premiere, so for that reason and that reason only, I’ll give the show one episode to wow me. (It honestly has nothing to do with the fact that I can’t let the past go. Nothing at all.)
Who else is in, PopWatchers? If you plan on watching, is it for nostalgia or because you think this show has promise? Most importantly, do you think Lopez refers to his girlfriend as “Mama”?
More nostalgia on Twitter: @EWSandraG
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