Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!
How was I never aware of you? It seems like we’d be a perfect match as A) You are ridiculous and B) I am what you might call “really into” bling and gems.
You have yet to reveal yourself in this week’s Olympic trials footage, yet I can feel you lurking, ready to clamp. You dominate most of the triumphant medal podium shots of Lochte, your human, that we see in between the races. Your human owns and proudly wears three different versions of you! And he’s teased that the grill he’s having custom-made for the London Olympics will be red, white, and blue to honor the U.S.A. Or might those colors serve to honor bloody England instead? Whose side of the great big swimming pool in between these two countries are you on, anyway, Ryan Lochte’s grill? Do you measure the pool’s distance in meters or yards? What’s your damage? READ FULL STORY