What do you want from me? I’m a slow study, plus I’ve been busy eating all the meat in the Midwest and napping. Well, NO MORE! It’s taken a whopping 17 days, but the power and glory of the almighty Beyoncé’s Visual Album has officially crept into the contours of my brain like one of her intricately gilded thongs. Thanks to my new mentor, I am emboldened towards and horny for 2014 a whole two days early, armed with the following new set of standards:
Tag: Fa-fa-fa-fa-fashion (11-20 of 909)
I am just kidding about Taylor Swift — who could easily be a V.S. Angel if she dropped the mic, ruffled up some feathers, and listened a wee bit harder for the sound of a bell jingling on a passerby’s g-string.
Poof! Wings granted.
Congratulations are in order for the new Miss Universe, Gabriela Isler of Venezuela, who beat out 85 other international beauties Saturday night at Moscow’s Crocus City Hall, wearing a shimmering silver dress.
While it’s another year of bleached perma-smiles, bizarro-glam costumery that make an ’80s Cher look modest, and suspiciously impressive résumés, for all the glitter and iridescent excess of Miss Venezuela’s finale dress, the event itself seemed a little lackluster this year. Maybe it was the absence of wonderfully cheeky host Andy Cohen paired with the pure cheesiness of Giuliana Rancic? Or perhaps it was the lack of cringe-worthy fashion dialogue from usual suspect and style commentator Jeannie Mai? Or maybe my crazy-meter broke from the VMAs and Kanye rants and that Emmy musical number? Well, thankfully, it’s not completely broken, because there were still plenty of silly sights to spare. Behold, my picks for the 10 eye-popping Miss Universe 2013 moments:
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A filthy bathroom, cinder block furniture, bad hair, terrible manners — there was nothing the Fab Five couldn’t fix. The stars of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy transformed many hopeless hetero men using their patented “make better” treatment when the series aired on Bravo from 2003 to 2007. Ten years later, the lifestyle triage team reunites to reminisce with Andy Cohen this Sunday night.
To celebrate, we’ve compiled the Queer Eye guys’ most “Oh. Em. Gee.” moments — from Carson Kressley quips like, “It’s so Gay’s Anatomy right now!” to Kyan Douglas declarations like, “This is why they’re fat.” — and best handy-dandy “Hip Tips.” If only they could pile into their black SUV and roll up now….
Watch the video after the jump. READ FULL STORY
Tim Gunn, of the Tim Gunn Save, is simply the best. The Project Runway mentor and woolly balls enthusiast has delighted us season after season with his wit, relatability (fans are still clutching their pocket squares after last week’s ghastly trip down the NYC subway stairs), and genuine commitment to the contestants. And he’s taught aspiring fashionistas so many words. Consternation! Sturm und drang! WHITE?! Throw ‘em together along with his signature “Make it work!” and lilting “desiiiign-errrs” and it’s like a sweet, vaguely bitchy but ever-loving symphony.
Season 12 ends tonight, but here’s a Tim Gunn supercut you can put in your pocket and carry around forever. (Your phone is in your pocket. Egregious!) READ FULL STORY
After nearly a week of high-heeled dancing, Vaseline-covered teeth, and skillfully concealed hostility, the glitter has finally settled over Atlantic City — and 24-year-old Nina Davuluri of Syracuse, New York has been named the latest in a long line of all-American beauty queens. Davuluri isn’t just the second consecutive pageant winner from the Empire State — she’s also the first woman of Indian descent to snag the crown.
Obviously, congratulations are in order — but Nina’s not the only one who deserves a little recognition. Check out my list of alternate-category winners, and feel free to add your own… as long as you deliver them with a blindingly white smile.
Most Auspicious Name: Miss Alabama, a.k.a. Chandler Champion. Then again, maybe not; she didn’t even make it to the semi-finals.
Weirdest Intro Joke: “Listening to your phone calls from the nation’s capital. Just kidding! I’m Miss District of Columbia, Bindhu Pamarthi.”
Runner Up: “From the home of fast horses and beautiful women — better not get those two things confused. I am Jenna Day, Miss Kentucky!”
By now, we should know everything about Victoria Beckham. After all, she’s been in the limelight since her Spice Girls days in the ‘90s. So what new facts could we possibly learn about the artist formerly known as Posh Spice?
Quite a lot, it turns out. The latest issue of The New York Times‘ T Magazine has new insight into the life of the pop star-turned-high fashion designer. Our favorite 10 tidbits from the profile below. READ FULL STORY
How did The Newsroom‘s Maggie Jordan go from cheerful, wide-eyed Goldilocks to twitchy, traumatized wraith — and a dead ringer for ex-Top Model Marjorie, who herself was none too stable? Spoiler alert: It’s not just because “women try things” with their hair, as Will McAvoy said with a shrug in season 2′s premiere.
No, the truth lies in Uganda — where, as we saw in last night’s episode, Maggie befriended an adorable little boy named
Issa Daniel who just loved touching her shiny golden tresses. (“He’s never seen hair like yours,” Wise African Teacher or Whatever explained to Maggie. “That color’s called blond, Daniel. It’s nothing but trouble.” Sorkin. Sorkin.)
Alas, Maggie’s time abroad wasn’t all smiling children and vague racism. Thanks to the presence of News Night‘s crew, Daniel’s orphanage was targeted by gun-toting camera thieves. In the ensuing melee, the kid was of course shot and killed — leading a grieving Maggie to express her sorrow by staring dead-eyed into a mirror, picking up a giant pair of scissors, and hacking away until she was left with a coif that even Fantine would consider drastic.
Of course, she’s not alone. READ FULL STORY
John Hodgman is an apocalypse expert, which you know if you’ve watched his comedy special John Hodgman: Ragnarok, taped on Dec. 21, 2012, now streaming on Netflix. That’s why when he stopped by recently to take the EW Pop Culture Personality Test (look for the video soon), we asked him to weigh in on a very important issue: Must a man wear a white tank top to save the world (or our president) in an action movie? Below, he works it out — and comes to an interesting conclusion. READ FULL STORY
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