Within minutes of our announcement that Kenny Ortega has signed on to direct a Dirty Dancing reboot, many of you had already echoed my own reaction to the news. (EWWWWW.com.) It struck me violently in the face that perhaps the horror of this situation can best be expressed by the original Baby, Jennifer Grey herself.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” –Sarah READ FULL STORY »
Oh GOD. E! is already planning a two-night primetime gala, and they haven’t even promised that the telecast will include the actual wedding! Check out this save-the-date, which is quite proper and ladylike save for the big E, erect and ready for action:
On the bright side, it turns out we are all invited. The chances?!
Here’s a list just off the top of my head for what you can do to better spend four hours.
1. Anything
Image Credit: MTV
Sorry, you don’t know these people in the picture. They’re the cast of The Real World XXV: Vegas and, as is the case with all humans, they may or may not have STDs! Starring in a fancy show with Roman numerals in the title is an honor, so you’re going to need to waive some basic personal, sexual, and reproductive rights. Just go with it; you’ll get to be on TV. Producers can twist your story any which way they want, but eyes on the prize: You! TV!
The Village Voice obtained a reputed copy of the standard contract for The Real World, and while it’s everything you might expect for reality TV, that doesn’t make it any less skeezy. (MTV has not yet responded to requests from EW for comment.) You can read the full document here, but here’s a quick list of my….
Five Most Worrisome Stipulations of an MTV Reality TV Contract
NUMBER ONE:
I represent and warrant that, to the best of my knowledge, I do not currently have any sexually transmitted disease. However, I acknowledge and agree that other participants in the Program may have one or more sexually transmitted diseases and other diseases.
Honey we all agree. (Emphasis mine.) READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Rico Torres
Because when I think “torture porn,” I immediately think “good-time family fun.” Don’t you?! Horror auteur Eli Roth is teaming up with Universal Studios to create a theme-park riff on his 2005 genre-reviving film, Hostel. “Eli Roth’s Hostel: Hunting Season,” takes its bloody bow at Universal Studios’ Hollywood’s Halloween Horror Nights on Sept. 23 and will run through Halloween. READ FULL STORY »
I finally set up DirecTV in my new apartment last night, and within just a few seconds of flipping through network television’s 9 p.m. Tuesday lineup was able to achieve a stunning sense of overwhelming dread, horror, and hopelessness. Hooray!
Here’s the Saddest Thing I saw on Summer TV Last Night:
Three sad women posed onstage as Madonna, Paris Hilton, and Scarlett Johansson (though my first guesses were a deranged doll, a chronic nose-picker, and a Debbie Downer who’s unsatisfied with her recent shopping spree at The Limited). The show: It’s Worth What? on NBC. It doesn’t really matter why this tragic arrangement of humanity occurred; suffice it to say that the whole point of It’s Worth What? on NBC seems to be that host Cedric the Entertainer gets to say “It’s worth WHAAAAAAAAAAAT?” before commercials.
It’s scary in there, you guys.
If you see other Things That Make You Die Inside on summer TV and want to make others share your pain, leave ‘em in the comments or send ‘em to me @EWAnnieBarrett on Twitter. It’ll be like the opposite of my hidden gems initiative, just for summer. Pellets of misery? Oh, I love it! Include an exact timestamp so I don’t have to watch the whole show. Do my job for me!
So what’s the saddest part of this frame? I say “DOG FOOD CAN” placard. You?
Image Credit: Denise Truscello/WireImage.com
There is nothing worse than getting caught in between a couple, post-break-up, while they go back and forth with their “he said, she said” routine. (Actually, getting caught in between this would be worse. Way worse.)
So imagine our discomfort when Crystal Harris stopped by Howard Stern’s XM radio show on Tuesday to plant irreversible images in our head bash the boat captain/magazine mogul. In addition to claiming that she’d never seen Hef naked because the 85-year-old rarely takes off his clothes (here’s an artist’s rendering of what he would probably look like), Harris said that sex with Hef only went for “like, two seconds.” The 24-year-old, who said she wasn’t turned on by the Playboy founder (jowls just aren’t for everyone) then meticulously articulated her post-traumatic Hef disorder for listeners, “Then I was just over it. Was like, ‘Ahhh.’ I was over it. I just, like, walked away.”
But Hef wasn’t going to take this lying down (not unless he had an orthopedic mattress or it was time for his 2 p.m. nap). READ FULL STORY »
Six months ago, the world was introduced to the illustrious honey badger — sorry, I mean, “The Crazy Nastyass Honey Badger,” an indefatigable creature who really does not give a s—. You know who else don’t give a s—? The denizens of Comic-Con, a famously audacious crowd who think nothing of parading in public in all manner of crevice-hugging, skin-revealing costumes. So we here at EW.com had a brainstorm: What if we released Randall, the man who so famously narrated the viral “Honey Badger” video, into the wilds of the San Diego convention center during the height of Comic-Con craziness? Along with colleagues John Carlucci, Chris Gordon, and Dave Schlow, Randall delivered the following exclusive video report from San Diego Comic-Con International, or, as he initially puts it, “the San Diego Zoo’s annual Come Along Intentionally Tour!” Check it out below: READ FULL STORY »
There are many contests at which I could NOT beat my esteemed colleague Darren Franich. Arcane superhero-sequels trivia, tennis (probably?), knowing anything about comic books whatsoever. But could I possibly whip this overachiever’s skinny ass if the competition was called See Who Can Awkwardly Hug Comic-Con Fans the Longest? Press play below to find out! READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Getty Images
I’m melting, PopWatchers, melllllllllting. That’s because today, on the concrete island of Manhattan, it is roughly 10,000 (give or take a few thousand) degrees outside. If the Big Apple looks extra shiny today, it’s only because the unforgiving sun has turned us into sweaty, smelly, cranky puddles of our former selves.
Still, New Yorkers (and everyone else around the country suffering from these oppressive temps) are hardly the first to fry faster than an egg. Of course, there’s arguably the most famous moment in pop-culture melting, the aforementioned cries of the Wicked Witch of the West in The Wizard of Oz, but what about some of the other classic moments in liquefying? Here’s a rundown of some of the best: READ FULL STORY »
Ryan Gosling continues his talk show tour for Crazy, Stupid, Love, and last night’s visit with Jimmy Fallon was another memorable stop. He brought his “muppet” dog George (who insists on having a Mohawk; when the hair starts to grow out George becomes a jerk, Gosling insists) and recounted a visit to a Turkish bath in his new home, New York City. Watch it below. In short: It was a painful experience that resulted in Gosling licking his masseuse’s belly after it went in his mouth (“Don’t judge me, but you know how when you eat something weird your brain sends your tongue to investigate?” he asked) and a lot of tipping.
In the second clip, Gosling attempts to explain his new movie. READ FULL STORY »
