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Ben on 'The Bachelor' is Alfalfa from 'Little Rascals'

So said EW.com reader “jr” on today’s episode recap. Good work, gumshoe!

Do you think the original Alfalfa (Carl Switzer) would be caught dead clunking out a shaky rendition of David Gray’s “This Year’s Love” on the piano? Is this a rhetorical question?

Read more:
‘The Bachelor’ recap: The Tribe Has Spoken
Chris Harrison blogs ‘The Bachelor,’ episode 6

Casey Abrams shaves beard for Inflammatory Bowel Disease awareness, completes transformation into Cabbage Patch Kid cop -- VIDEO

It’s an important milestone in any doughy young boy or doll’s life. Watch American Idol season 10 standout Casey Abrams (have his dad) shave his beard after the jump. Then tell me what frustrates you more — the kid’s complete inability to groom himself or his neglect to put Haley Reinhart on speakerphone?!

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Steven Seagal could be sued for killing a puppy

This story isn’t as ridiculous as the title implies. Oh wait… it totally is. While filming the next season of Steven Seagal: Lawman, the martial arts master teamed up with Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio — himself no stranger to reality television — to raid the house of alleged cockfighter Jesus Llovera. According to The Onion AV Club, Seagal commandeered a SWAT tank and led dozens of officers in riot gear into the house, where they set off explosives, basically ripped apart the house from the outside in, and killed about 100 chickens in the process. Also a casualty of the raid: Llovera’s 11-month-old puppy. READ FULL STORY

Too soon: Taiwanese ad imagines an angelic Steve Jobs praising rival tablet

We haven’t yet reached four months since Steve Jobs’ death, so clearly the moment is ripe to create a vision of the Apple icon up in heaven… betraying his life’s work. I imagine that must have been the rationale behind the new Taiwanese Action Pad ad, which adds one very important accessory to Jobs’ signature black turtleneck-and-jeans combo: Angel wings.

Suffice it to say, an undergraduate thesis could be written (and probably soon will) about the inappropriateness of this ad. The most fundamental point is this: Steve Jobs would not be amused. But are you? Check out the ad after the jump. READ FULL STORY

'Two and a Half Men': Stormy Valentine's Day episode -- EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS

We’ve got a first look from an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men episode airing Monday, Feb. 13 at 9 p.m. ET on CBS. Exclusive pics ahead of Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer flailing around in the wet Malibu sands (a word pairing that never fails to remind me of Saved by the Bell). But you might think they’re “hottttttt.” Who knows what you like? READ FULL STORY

Today in 'Seriously?!': Kate Gosselin hosts a cruise

Would you want to be trapped on a boat with this woman? Royal Caribbean has tapped former TLC reality star Kate Gosselin to host a cruise on its brand new ship, Allure of the Seas. According to Royal Caribbean’s Web site for the Aug. 12-19 cruise, fans will take home a a commemorative personalized gift and have plenty of one-on-one time with Gosselin during a games day, Q&A session, craft class, shore excursion, and several meals including a private farewell dinner. Here’s the thing: Gosselin is not exactly known for her ability to travel well. READ FULL STORY

Casey Anthony describes life post-trial in video diary

If you were hoping that public vitriol and publishing industry ennui would make Casey Anthony lie low in 2012, you can give up that dream. The infamous acquittee, newly bobbed-and-blond, has gone viral with a vlog (taped last October) in which she discusses the “surreal” existence she has found herself in since the end of her trial in July. See the video after the jump. READ FULL STORY

'Celebrity Wife Swap' wish list: Who's on yours?

It’s going to be hard to top the onslaught of lunacy that Celebrity Wife Swap contestants Ted Haggard and Gary Busey and their respective significant others brought to the table during last night’s absolutely bonkers episode. No one brings the crazy quite like Busey. While Flavor Flav and Dee Snider will do their best to protect the sanctity of marriage and reality television during next week’s episode (though Snider should try and save up some of that energy for his upcoming stint on The Celebrity Apprentice… just ask Busey), there’s plenty of other stars who would make for an hour of baffling, albeit undeniably entertaining, television.

Of course, there’s the wish list of celebrities who would rightfully, understandably never participate in this bizarre, desperate social experiment (Jay-Z and Beyoncé, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin, Kate Middleton and Prince William, Bert and Ernie), but there’s the, well, lower echelon of stars we can envision making an appearance on the ABC series. Here are some dream pairings: READ FULL STORY

Snooki, Michele Bachmann top 'Bad Science List'

The Sense About Science (SAS) campaign has named Jersey Shore doctor of grain liquor Snooki and Republican presidential candidate Michele Bachmann as two of 2011′s worst offenders of Bad Science. Bachmann went on TV to tell a story of a Tampa woman who claimed her daughter had become “mentally retarded” from an HPV vaccine, and Snooki — well, Snooki’s sort of a science experiment gone wrong in so many (and some delightful) ways that I’d like to give her scientific claim its own paragraph. Let it breathe a little, like seamen amidst a gust of sea air.

“I don’t really like the beach. I hate sharks, and the water’s all whale sperm. That’s why the ocean’s salty.”

The untethered inclusion of “I hate sharks” in there is almost poetic. Think about it for a few seconds. NO, I’m just kidding, don’t hurt yourselves. READ FULL STORY

Lunchtime Poll: Would you eat maple syrupy spaghetti with Buddy the Elf?

To me, one of the most amusing things about Buddy (Will Ferrell) in 2003′s Elf — and there are many — is his insistence on sticking to the four main food groups of his species: “Candy, candy canes, candy corns, and syrup.” Buddy’s ridiculous pasta concoctions rivaled Ally Sheedy’s Cap’n Crunch and Pixy Stix sandwich in The Breakfast Club in terms of sheer sugar per square inch. That is no small feat.

Whoa — was Ally Sheedy’s Breakfast Club character an elf? Did Allison Reynolds arrive at John Hughes High after passing through seven levels of the Candy Cane Forest and the Sea of Swirly Twirly Gum Drops? I would not be surprised. I feel like I’ve just figured out the answer to EVERYTHING.

My approach to sampling new cuisines is similar to Buddy’s: “Is there sugar in [dish in question]? Then YES.” But we’re not all as nice as Mary Steenburgen, and not everyone’s willing to go through life actively courting diabetes, even if the feelings of an adorable overgrown elf are at stake.

Vote below! READ FULL STORY

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