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Donald Trump reveals his hair-care regimen: Lather, rinse, do not repeat

Looks like Mean Girls‘ Gretchen Weiners isn’t the only one whose hair is full of secrets.

During a recent interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Donald Trump finally explained how he gets his fine golden mane to look like that. While I could just as easily write jokes about Trump’s laughably non-Presidential coif, the comedy really writes itself here. Just read the excerpt from RS below in which you can absolutely hear Trump saying these things in his very Trump-like way. Or better yet, imagine Conan O’Brien saying it as Donald Trump. But, most importantly, never under any circumstances, should you follow this hair regimen, as it involves an hour of drying and watching Morning Joe. Also, it would make you look like Donald Trump:  READ FULL STORY

Julie's creepy TA from 'Friday Night Lights' stars in Lowe's commercial. Have you ever been unable to disassociate actors from their characters?

I can say with the utmost certainty that never before had I been upset by a hardware superstore commercial. Shopping for paint samples is annoying, certainly. But upsetting? Rarely.

That is, until I saw a commercial for Lowe’s that involved actor Gil McKinney. Sure, in the ad he’s just a dude looking for some affordable lawn furniture with his significant other, but all I could see was the creeper T.A. from Friday Night Lights who has been corrupting our dear Julie Taylor (Aimee Teegarden, pictured here sucking face with said culprit). As soon as I recognized the actor, it was hard not to think, “How can you be buying furniture at a time like this? Don’t you know what you’re putting the Taylor family through? Have you no shame, sir?!” I’m sure Mr. McKinney is a swell fellow in real life, and it’s certainly a testament to his skills as an actor (any FNL fan can attest they got bad vibes from him immediately), but I instantly saw Derek the Creeper T.A. when I saw him. (Sadly, the commercial has not yet made its way onto YouTube yet, so you’ll just have to wait patiently to see it on the old-fashioned television. Fight the urge to rewind!)

I’ve actually had this happen before, though. As I noted in the trailer for the upcoming Mandy Moore flick Love, Wedding, Marriage, as soon as I spotted actor Michael Weston, it was jarring. READ FULL STORY

'Cougar Town': The Cobbs can get through anything!

The headline says it all. The Cobbs can get through anything! I know you’re (probably) not a Cobb, but I have faith you can make it through this recap. So let’s chat “sorry, we still cringe at the title” Cougar Town.

Kirsten was officially planning her move to Chicago. Since locking her to a pipe with a chain was not a valid option, Travis furthered his plan to propose with his great-grandmother’s ring. I must note the rejected plans: 1) Skipping the ring altogether and putting a baby in her. 2) Pimp-whacking her over the head. Yeah, a proposal was really his only option. READ FULL STORY

VH1's 'Famous Food' will show 'celebrities' like Heidi Montag, Danielle Staub launching a restaurant. I wish Gordon Ramsay was involved.

VH1 — creator of “celebrity”-reality shows that the world watches but didn’t ask for — has a new project in the works. Famous Food, premiering in the fall, will give Heidi Montag, Real Housewives of New Jersey‘s Danielle Staub, Bachelor doucheboat Jake Pavelka, “singer” Ashley Dupré, and The Sopranos‘ Vincent Pastore, and two rappers from Three 6 Mafia a chance to launch a restaurant. With their collective skills — and hopefully a bucket of Clorox — the 10-episode series will see if they have what it takes to launch a restaurant aptly named Famous Food. After the restaurant’s opening, two experts will decide who is most deserving of a partnership stake.

The only thing I see missing here? Gordon Ramsay. READ FULL STORY

'Cougar Town': 1-855-PENNYCAN. Penny Can!

Cougar Town has been on a way-too-long hiatus so ABC could air Mr. Sunshine in its place. Instead of sunshine, this produced a rather dark, stormy cloud in my life. And while I’m in favor of Courteney Cox’s previous TV husband getting another chance at primetime, I curse the former Mrs. Chanandler Bong for making Cougar Town a distant memory in my TV-centric life.

But because ABC decided to slap out of it and air TWO new episodes this week, I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. ABC, you’re forgiven. Plus, they gave the all-new episode the coveted post-DWTS slot (“Hi Dance Fans, please still be there”). So grab your oversized wine glasses so we can chat about Monday night’s “Walls.” READ FULL STORY

Steve-O of 'Jackass' fame has written a book. What is the proper way to enjoy it?

Stephen Glover, a.k.a. Steve-O, a.k.a. the grinning, tattooed dude who rose to fame as a crash test dummy/circus freak on Jackass, just pulled off one of his most dangerous stunts to date: He wrote a book (with journalist David Peisner). According to the back cover of the advance copy that has arrived in my mailbox, Professional Idiot: A Memoir (June 7, Hyperion) gives you a peek into the life and hard times of the skateboard punk-turned-clown college grad-turned Jackass star, who wound up “routinely risking his life with sharks, lions, tigers, or bears, stapling his nut sack to his leg, or diving into a pool of elephant crap” and spinning out of control in his apartment as he “drank, snorted, huffed, smoked and swallowed drugs around the clock” until his Jackass coconspirator Knoxville led an “an intervention in which eight men forced him into a psychiatric ward against his will, and ultimately saved his life.” (Let’s all take a moment to absorb everything that happened in that sentence.)

Now, I’ve seen the Jackass movie trilogy, the television series, and MTV’s harrowing docu-special Steve-O: Demise and Rise (which chronicled his descent into madness before finding sobriety), but I’ll admit that I’m still interested to glean more insight into his carnivalesque, self-destructive world. That said, we’re talking about a Steve-O book here, and I think we owe it to him to do something appropriately crazy with this book. Herewith, some options:  READ FULL STORY

'How I Met Your Mother': Does Ted actually talk to his kids about his sex life?

Something has always creeped me out about How I Met Your Mother. And we were confronted with it once again during last night’s somewhat stale episode. While discussing his challenging relationship with Zoey (Jennifer Morrison) — the environmental advocate who protests his big-business building plans — Ted (Josh Radnor) is seen arguing with his girlfriend while having sex.

Why is this unsettling? READ FULL STORY

'Pregnant in Heels' premiere: 'Do you know how hormonal I am?'

Thanks to the world of reality TV, America’s children now have actual proof of their parents making fools of themselves before they were born. For the children born from Bravo’s newest voyeuristic experiment, Pregnant in Heels, it’s a chance to see just how ridiculous their high maintenance moms were leading up to their birth, as the expectant mothers stumbled through and paid (large sums of money) for the services of maternity concierge Rosie Pope. The self-described pregnancy guru helps new parents prepare for their children by acclimating them to the world of strollers, breast pumps, and projectile pooping. Rosie prefaced the show with the observation “women are bitchy anyway,” which is a severe understatement when considering the overly hormonal clients featured in last night’s premiere episode. READ FULL STORY

Skittles videos make me question my sense of humor. Am I alone?

It looks as though a lot of time and money went into a new campaign for Skittles. Of the five videos I first viewed via AdFreak, two were actually funny to me (“Cat,” pictured, and “War Finger”*), two fell flat (“Hitchhiker” and “Cage Cop”), and one was just oddly unsettling (“Skittles Girl”). I think I have a good sense of humor, but I could be wrong. Watch them below and tell me which ones work for you.

READ FULL STORY

'Dead Space 2' has left me emotionally brutalized. What horror videogame scared you the most?

When I was a kid, scary movies left me trembling in fear.  After I saw Friday the 13th Part VI, I refused to go into any forests. After I saw Jaws, I refused to step foot in the ocean, and would also avoid the deep end of any pools. After I saw the TV miniseries It, I tried refusing to take any showers, but my horrible parents wouldn’t listen to my cries of terror, so instead I just lived in perpetual fear of seeing Tim Curry’s terrifying clown-face emerging out of our shower drain. (I’m really lucky I didn’t watch Nightmare on Elm Street until I was a teenager, or I would have probably feared sleeping.) READ FULL STORY

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