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Tag: Dude, THAT's Your Plot? (1-10 of 155)

Steven Seagal could be sued for killing a puppy

This story isn’t as ridiculous as the title implies. Oh wait… it totally is. While filming the next season of Steven Seagal: Lawman, the martial arts master teamed up with Maricopa County, Ariz., Sheriff Joe Arpaio — himself no stranger to reality television — to raid the house of alleged cockfighter Jesus Llovera. According to The Onion AV Club, Seagal commandeered a SWAT tank and led dozens of officers in riot gear into the house, where they set off explosives, basically ripped apart the house from the outside in, and killed about 100 chickens in the process. Also a casualty of the raid: Llovera’s 11-month-old puppy. READ FULL STORY

Contrarian Corner: Let's talk about 'The Grey'

the-grey-liam-neeson

The Grey, Liam Neeson‘s latest January release that features the gruff 59-year-old Irishman screaming at and fighting with every living creature around him, may have gotten a middling review from EW critic Lisa Schwarzbaum, but it still managed to debut with $19.6 million over the weekend, and earned many positive reviews from critics across America. (Audiences issued the film a “B–” CinemaScore grade, with 76 percent giving it an “A” or “B”.) A lot of people, it’s safe to say, were very much on board with the man vs. wolf film.

Here’s the thing, though: The Grey was the most depressing film I’ve seen in years. I disliked every single character in the film. Heck, I was rooting for the wolves to prevail, just so the movie would end! (WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD) READ FULL STORY

'Two and a Half Men': Stormy Valentine's Day episode -- EXCLUSIVE PHOTOS

We’ve got a first look from an upcoming episode of Two and a Half Men episode airing Monday, Feb. 13 at 9 p.m. ET on CBS. Exclusive pics ahead of Ashton Kutcher and Jon Cryer flailing around in the wet Malibu sands (a word pairing that never fails to remind me of Saved by the Bell). But you might think they’re “hottttttt.” Who knows what you like? READ FULL STORY

PopWatch Pop Quiz: 'The Bachelor' or 'Intervention'?

Last night’s Intervention featured Kimberly, an alcoholic who lives in a big house and spends all of her spare time drinking. The Bachelor features “ladies” who “live” in a big house and spend all of their spare time drinking. It’s only a matter of time before the Champagne Flute of Fate will get us all.

Try to determine which quote is from which show. It may be harder than you think!

‘THE BACHELOR’ OR ‘INTERVENTION’? for Jan. 23, 2012

1. “I am 100 percent thinking I cannot do this. I’m scared.”
2. “I sat there and I was just crying in the street.”
3. “F—- her! F— her!”
4. “I almost want to rip her head off and verbally assault her.”
5. “I am one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet.”
6. “I just can’t listen to this because it’s too absurd.”
7. “It’s always about you, you, you, you, you. One is a lonely number, and you’re going to die.”
8. “It’s the most painful thing in this world. I want what I couldn’t get here. I want all that good stuff; I want it to last and I want it to be right. And I’m skeptical that it even exists anymore.”
9. “I wonder if you’ll take this seriously enough.”
10. “The only emotion I feel when I look into that house is shame.”

GOOD LUCK! And the answers are…. READ FULL STORY

Megan Fox laps up the force of life from own clone

It’s the alternate Lost finale we could never have seen coming. Actress Megan Fox and Circe impersonator has set herself up on a deserted island and transformed herself into DOZENS of Megan Foxes in a commercial for Brazilian language school CCAA. “Welcome to Megan Fox Island!” she announces. Help yourself to a Skinny Girl Margarita from her magical urn, lost boys, but for God’s sake order it in English. READ FULL STORY

'Rob' premiere: Rob Schneider is... an insult!

According to South Park, comic actor Rob Schneider has played an animal, a woman, a carrot, and a stapler. And who could forget his rousing turn in Da Derp Dee Derp Da Teetley Derpee Derpree Dumb? (For the record, Schneider has only played an animal and a woman, so far. Though Da Derp Dee Derp… seems like it has the potential to be a hit, no?)

Now the SNL vet/frequent Adam Sandler collaborator has added another title to his resume: Newlywed OCD Landscape Architect Who Is Also Actually Kinda Racist And Will Accidentally Sexually Harass Your Grandmother. (Stapler doesn’t sound so bad now, does it?) READ FULL STORY

'Work It': Act like a (completely inaccurate representation of a) lady, think like a (prehistoric) man

There was a slight twinge of panic amongst the ladyfolk when the Twitter and viral video sensation “S— Girls Say” all but took over the Internet. Not out of the fear that it could become too popular for its own good and get its own miserable spin-off like a certain similarly titled CBS sitcom (still a legitimate concern, though), but that a guy had actually cracked some of our not-so-secret code. Because despite its obviously over-the-top re-enactment of, well, the s— girls sometimes say, it was nearly impossible to deny that you hadn’t uttered something pretty close to Graydon Sheppard’s fast-talking gal’s quotables yourself. (I’m guilty of saying both “Sorry, can you just turn it down a little bit?” and “Get these chips away from me!” almost verbatim.) READ FULL STORY

'Finding Bigfoot,' a real show, premieres Sunday Jan. 1

A new season (?!?!) of Finding Bigfoot premieres Sunday, Jan. 1, at 10 p.m. ET on Animal Planet, and I just might tune in to witness the stunning ineptitude of the “expert team of true believers” in person.

Frankly I cannot fathom why it’s taken them so long to find me, considering I moved to the West Coast SIX MONTHS AGO and have been dying to get discovered! Sometimes I even leave my giant sneakers outside the door in my Melrose Waste of Space apartment complex. How have the true believers not picked up on their stench and size? Yoo-hoo! Experts! I am RIGHT HERE.

Vote in the important poll below…. if you can find it.

That last one is coming soon to EW.com whether you like it or not!

2011's Most Bizarre Reality-TV Moment: What's your pick?

I try not to think about The X Factor, but this became difficult following the night 15-year-old rapper Astro nearly refused to perform his “save me” song after learning he’d landed in the Bottom 2. The backing track kicked in for “Never Can Say Goodbye,” and the little brat was just listlessly wandering onstage, asking L.A. Reid, “My mentor, do you think I should perform?” UM, YES. YOU’RE A REALITY SHOW CONTESTANT. Get over yourself.

It took Simon Cowell’s suggestion that Astro was disrespecting his mother to get him to finally uncross his arms. So since then — and this truly makes me want to die inside — I’ve been using “Stop disrespecting your mom” as a catch-all way to confuse people or win arguments. You think I could lose an accessory or three? Maybe you should uncross those arms and show your mother some respect. You don’t want to order another beer? Stop disrespecting your mom! It’s time to go? Well, stop disrespecting your mom already and let’s get out of here.

The point is, Astro’s rude indifference — combined with the achingly over-orchestrated vibe of the show and the supreme awkwardness of host Steve Jones (who jauntily assured the boy, “I’m very happy you performed, sir!”) — made for a truly bizarre moment on The X Factor.

My other suggestions for 2011′s Most Bizarre Reality-TV Moment: READ FULL STORY

George Takei, Broker of Star Peace, calls for unity, war on 'Twilight.' Oh my!

George Takei has accomplished what was once thought seemingly impossible and figured a way to settle one of the oldest nerd scores: The epic Star Trek vs. Star Wars debate. Prompted by the ongoing showdown between William Shatner (“First of all, Star Wars was derivative of Star Trek derivative!”: Point Shatner) and Carrie Fisher (“Klingon? It just sounds like a laundry detergent”: Point Fisher), the great Mr. Sulu opted to take charge and become a Broker of Peace to put an end to the galaxy-and-decade-spanning feud once and for all.

But how does one do that for a embittered battle in which both sides have such dedicated, unflappable supporters? It’s quite simple, really: Call out Twilight and urge both Star Trek and Star Wars fans to come together to mutually hate on it. (All the points: Takei.) READ FULL STORY

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