Earlier today, EW revealed that the Man of Steel and a certain Amazon princess are the Justice League’s new power couple. Though Lois Lane isn’t romantically involved with Superman in DC’s “New 52″ continuity, the news has still left Metropolis’s most famous reporter feeling curiously sad. Want proof? After distracting Lane with a fresh pint of ice cream — thanks for the idea, Jon Stewart — we managed to swipe a page from her very secret diary. The following entry has been reprinted without her permission. We think Lois would understand, though; sometimes, a writer’s gotta do what she’s gotta do.
As a rule, I don’t wallow. After all, I’m Lois Freakin’ Lane — Pulitzer Prize winner, Daily Planet Executive Vice President of New Media, possessor of perfect hair. I can cover superheroes fighting alien monsters in my sleep. I eat annoying interns for dinner. I am, generally, so awesome that I couldn’t find anything to wallow about even if I wanted to. But something happened today that’s given me a serious case of melancholy — even though there’s no reason it should.
While preparing myself for another late night at the office, I looked out my window and saw a strange sight: Superman, Metropolis’s golden boy, engaging in a mid-flight makeout session with some chick in a star-spangled bathing suit.