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Tumblr Watch: Bon Iver Erotic Stories, a.k.a. hipster porn!

Bon-Iver

Call it Fifty Shades of Grey for the folk scene. The latest Tumblr to catch our eye is Bon Iver Erotic Stories, or as the blog’s handle would have it, Boniverotica. Yes, behind the delicate portmanteau is a scary thought: What would happen if you crossed the ethereal crooners with the subtle raunch of Ryan Gosling’s Hey, Girl meme? The result is surprisingly soothing. Take a peek at some of our favorite passages below:

–“Bon Iver heard me cough from the other room. I heard the door slam, and moments later he returned: with armfuls of lemongrass, humanely terminated free-range chickens and fresh greens, and he whipped up a soup to cure me. As he spooned it into my mouth, he kissed my throat and whispered, ‘That was a close one, baby.’”

–“I’m at the farmer’s market with Bon Iver. We can’t decide which artisan cheese we like the most! We propped our bicycles against a bush and made love by the creek and then had raspberry pie.”

–”Last night we took a bottle of local wine to our goat field, spread out a blanket and made love under the stars. Bon Iver knows all the constellations and all the Native American myths.”

Now, it doesn’t help matters that Bon Iver, in its pronounciation alone, can be warped into dozens of dirty sayings that involve not-so-clever puns on the word “bone” (though none as clever as the all-male XXX-rated boy band Bone Direction). Is this the start of other inspired music-romance novel-esque mash-ups? Share your best title ideas in the comments, but keep it clean(ish)!

Read more:
Beyonce unveils new Tumblr page
Bates, please! Seven ‘Downton Abbey’-inspired Tumblrs that will delight or enrage you
Ryan Gosling is a journalist! Another Ryan Gosling Tumblr to add to your collection

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