Image Credit: Fox
The judges certainly don’t! Their collective uttah indifference throughout season 2 — save for the occasional scripted standing O, shown above — has made it damn near impossible for me to feel that strongly about which of three talented but not awe-inspiring contestants should win. I tried to give The X Factor the benefit of the doubt this season. But if the judges can’t even remember these people’s names, why should viewers? READ FULL STORY »
Image Credit: Trae Patton/NBC
They look happy to your right because this trio’s baby has a heartbeat — huzzah! — but the bulk of “Baby Clothes” involved aggression and tears. You see, everyone in this crazy mixed-up world is different, and so they hate each other.
In tonight’s third episode of The New Normal — brought to you by Pinkberry, Marc Jacobs, Dolce and Gabbana, and Equinox — Bryan and David run into a bigot in an outlet mall. This bigot is a great big terror in a polo shirt who asks them to stop kissing (in the interest of “trying to protect my family”) and calls the idea of Bryan and David having a baby “disgusting.” Bryan and David head home to have a heart-to-heart about bringing a baby into “a world where idiot people are trained to hate what we do.” There are tears, and it is dire. No one wants their family members to suffer, but how can kids be protected when hate is all around? READ FULL STORY »
I’m gonna go out on a cold, dead limb here and say NOT MUCH.
Today Bravo announced a reboot of the 1989 classic teen clique film Heathers, in which Veronica Sawyer (Winona Ryder in the movie) returns to Sherwood with her teenage daughter, who’ll have to fend against “The Ashleys” at her school.
This sounds trashy and delicious, especially if they get Winona and Shannen Doherty to show up. Tragically, Heather Chandler will not be able to appear in flashbacks — actress Kim Walker, who famously uttered the line “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” died of a brain tumor at age 32. (How have I never written about this?!) READ FULL STORY »
Where’s the art? I’m stumped.
I’ve been thinking a lot about this “living fairy tale” exhibit (see video below) at the National Art Museum of Ukraine, at which any male suitor above the age of 18 may kiss a young painted lady who’s pretending to be asleep. If she opens her eyes, they must get married. This is real! Look at her ear doilies! It’s all so bizarre and disease-y — but after settling in for some Monday night cable, I had to ask: Is it worse than Gallery Girls on Bravo? READ FULL STORY »
Rumor has it that new American Idol judge Mariah Carey became infuriated and hung up the phone when producers called to tell her they were in talks with Nicki Minaj to join the season 12 judging panel. Considering a TMZ report is practically fiction, I thought I’d embellish this juicy, totally plausible storyline in the saga of No One Knows WTF Is Going On With Idol (And Do They Care?). It’s one of the summer’s most lukewarm reads!
Thanks to the video for Mimi and Nicki’s classic 2010 collaboration “Up Out My Face,” here’s how I picture this all going down…. READ FULL STORY »
I’ve found my new favorite show to hate-watch (well, I love it but you will definitely maybe hate it): Gallery Girls on Bravo. This grotesque reality TV canvas is like a post-surrealist hybrid of The Hills and Girls — priced at $0 for all you art collectors! — that should probably just be called Bitches. It stars six young snots and one hardworking woman from Long Island who live and “work” in NYC and Brooklyn, which the show treats like a separate country.
Have I lost you yet, or do the two melting clocks in the desert (pictured) have you intrigued? READ FULL STORY »
Former Hills star and current hair role model Lauren Conrad posted a video tutorial showing viewers how to cut the spines off of books, glue them to a box, and then store non-book items in that box. She used seemingly brand new copies of Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events. (Ooh, foreshadowing!) This turned out to be a FATAL ERROR — a bunch of book purists freaked out, the clip went viral, and LC removed the video all within a few hours Wednesday night. I know I’ll remember where I was when it happened for the rest of my life. Ha, no.
Lemony Snicket himself commented on Lauren’s peculiar failure to Slate: “It has always been my belief that people who spend too much time with my work end up as lost souls, drained of reason, who lead lives of raving emptiness and occasional lunatic violence. What a relief it is to see this documented.”
Exactly. So why’d she have to take it down?
Vaulting specialist McKayla Maroney — the Posh Spice of the Fierce (née Fab) Five — coolly took the reins of a group interview clearly destined for doom on last night’s Late Show with David Letterman. Someone had to do it! Team USA’s host didn’t really know what was going on (though that’s his charm) and the other four gymnasts (Aly Raisman, pictured, Jordyn Wieber, Kyla Ross, and even Gabby Douglas) never make a peep unless prompted. We love them, of course, our hearts swell for them — but teenagers media-trained into oblivion do not make for good late-night TV. Cheers to Posh for breaking free and stealing the show.
This only strengthens our desire to have McKayla Maroney star in everything from now until Rio. Ryan Lochte can have 90210, fine, but McKayla gets all the others. Look for her as the fiercely short new girl on Pretty Little Liars, or maybe the human version of Ursula the Sea Witch on Once Upon a Time. (A gold medal infused with Bela Karolyi’s screams can replace the shell necklace containing Ariel’s singing voice.)
The Great McKayla TV Tour has only just begun! In our dreams. READ FULL STORY »
Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!
What’s your damage, Olympics? Last Tuesday, I railed against poolside interviewer Andrea Kremer among other Olympics offenders like Ryan Seacrest. Friday’s Volume 2 brought spitting in the pool, a lucky towel, and a very special wedgie. But most damaging right now? NBC interrupting — and cutting a significant chunk from! — a primetime SPORTING event in order to air another “What is….London?” Mary Carillo segment. Brutal! READ FULL STORY »
It’s our first-ever Reality TV GIF Battle! I’m pretty psyched.
On tonight’s So You Think You Can Dance auditions in Atlanta, guest judge Debbie Allen rivaled American Idol judge Jennifer Lopez in terms of wearing an “I wholeheartedly approve of what is happening onstage” stankface complete with dramatic head-jerks and an overwhelming sense of “bringing it.”
So who wore it better? Vote for your favorite dancing diva below…. READ FULL STORY »
