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Tag: Bitchery (11-20 of 250)

There Should Be a Sequel: 'Troop Beverly Hills'

Cigars… vapes… cookies…

I really wouldn’t mind a sequel to the 1989 Shelley Long vehicle Troop Beverly Hills. The most cherished movie of my childhood is no cinematic masterpiece, so this would hardly be sacrilege. I figure if this is really gonna be the film most often running through my head like a skunk on a misdirected trail (oh, the shame!), the story may as well continue. So sack up, hobos, and pour some wine into that stew: It’s cookie time. Again.
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Elisabeth Hasselbeck's greatest hits on 'The View'

In the past 12 years, Elisabeth Hasselbeck has matured (?) from the poster child for abs and pigtail buns (seriously so cute) on Survivor to one of the most outspoken yet least informed clangy kitchen utensils on the planet. Now that she’s officially leaving The View for Fox News, here’s a roundup of some of her most memorable and controversial moments. Consider it the worst greatest hits album of all time. READ FULL STORY

Bravo's 'Below Deck': 'Are there any sausages?'

Andy Cohen calls the new Bravo reality series “Downton Abbey on a private yacht.” After tonight’s premiere, I’m calling it “Saved by the Bell, the Summer Edition: Lost at Sea.” (Imagine a very special episode in which one of the Bayside crew finds a baggie of coke on the volleyball court at Malibu Sands and then hands it over to Stacy Carosi. Well, anyone except Jessie Spano, because we all know she’d be so excited that she’d keep it.) But there’s plenty of time to get all royal about it. For now, I’m hooked, at the bottom of the sea. READ FULL STORY

'The Next Food Network Star' gets 'Chopped'

On tonight’s Next Food Network Star, the eight finalists got a visit from new Iron Chef Alex Guarnaschelli (pictured), who was filling in for Giada. I loved how this straight-shooting force of nature didn’t even pretend to indulge Danushka’s bad attitude. Spoilers (in the form of apple juice and “fruit leather”-infused hot sauce, if you please) ahead…. READ FULL STORY

'Does Someone Have to Go?' Nah, nepotism wins!

I ended up putting myself through another episode of one the worst reality shows of all time, because 1) I’m a disgusting masochist in general and 2) more specifically, having temped during the worst summer of my life at a nearly identical company two towns over in Illinois, these dummies felt like family and I had to find out what happened. BARELY ANYTHING! But before I hit “delete series,” here are tonight’s Winners and Losers. READ FULL STORY

'MasterChef' season 4: What are you missing?

I didn’t mean for this to happen, but after salivating (with a full stomach, gross) over contestant Jonny’s “Lobster Crackerjack” within the first few minutes, I found myself watching two full hours of MasterChef. The auditions are over and the finalists have been revealed. What else have you been missing? Spoiler ahead… READ FULL STORY

Anatomy of a TV Bitch: A guest blog from the creator of VH1's 'Hit the Floor'

hit-the-floor.jpg

Tonight, VH1’s Hit the Floor, one of summer TV’s potential guiltiest pleasures, debuts at 9 p.m. ET. The scripted show, from first-time showrunner James LaRosa, centers on the Devil Girls, the dance squad for a fictional LA basketball team. There’s naive rookie Ahsha (Taylour Paige), whose mother (Kimberly Elise) was an original Devil Girl and doesn’t want her daughter to follow in her footsteps; Kyle, a gold-digging stripper (Katherine Bailess); and Raquel (Valerie Ortiz), the seemingly sweet single mom. But you know we’re all about Jelena (Logan Browning), the ruthless captain. Looking at the picture above, you can already pick her out (third from the left). Here, LaRosa breaks down the anatomy of a TV bitch.

By: James LaRosa

I love bad bitches, that’s my f*****’ problem.

My love affair started in the womb. From beyond the booming sound of my mother’s heartbeat, I could hear in the pale distance the echoes of women. Bloodthirsty women. Verbally lacerating women. While some mothers read flashcards to their engorged bellies, my mother was mainlining me with life lessons from her favorite soaps. Soaps where Bitches ruled the world. When I was born, I slapped the doctor and then took over his father’s company.

Like snowflakes or Quaids, no two Bitches are alike. However, every Bitch is made up of the same ingredients. Be careful mixing at home as contents can explode and ruin you: READ FULL STORY

Lucille Bluth vs. the Disney Princesses

So I went a little nuts with Vine!

Boozy-witchy Bluth matriarch Lucille has generously taken time out of her day-drinking to snap some sense into the damsels of Disney. They could all stand to lose some weight, by the way. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair. (Click the microphones on and off to hear the audio.) READ FULL STORY

Nicki Minaj's 'Idol' eye rolls are really irritating

Nicki Minaj eye roll 'American Idol'

Perhaps threatened by the high-impact stage presence of Mariah Carey’s boobs, Nicki Minaj has begun to fancy her constant side-eyes as two more main characters on American Idol (read EW’s full recap here). Can she please cut it out and cede the spotlight to the real stars of the show — Keith Urban’s highlights? So rude! Oh, or the contestants. That’s right.

See this devastating performance in action below…. READ FULL STORY

Grammys: J. Lo saves Adele from hydrangea huckster with a quick disco jerk of the thumb

Adele-Grammy-Crasher

Crisis averted! As if oozing Angelina Leg in a stunning Hefty Sack wasn’t heroic enough, Jennifer Lopez ended up saving Adele from a sure-to-be-obnoxious encounter with Grammys crasher Vitalii Seduik — the same Ukranian TV personality who tried to make out with Will Smith on the red carpet of Men in Black III‘s Moscow premiere and gifted Madonna those absolutely loathsome hydrangeas! Seduik somehow got onstage as Adele came up to accept the Grammy for Best Solo Pop Performance, but luckily J. Lo was there to throw him a scathing “Set Fire to This Pain in the Ass” glare and then shoo him away with a quick jerk of her thumb. Behold an international hero at work in the short clip below.

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