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Tag: Birthdays (1-8 of 8)

'The Onion' turns 25: Our 25 favorite headlines

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In August of 1988, two college juniors named Tim Keck and Christopher Johnson founded a satirical newspaper. They called their creation The Onion, published it for about a year, then sold it for $16,000 — likely never dreaming that it would grow into one of the comedy world’s most venerable institutions.

25 years later, the paper has become a national juggernaut — one that shows no signs of slowing down anytime soon. “There’s always a slight looming terror of running out of jokes because we’ve done so many jokes, and we have this manic insistence on never repeating a joke that we’ve done,” current editor-in-chief Will Tracy told NPR’s Renee Montagne earlier today. “But then, we’re able to remind ourselves that, oh no, there’s still awful people doing awful things every day, so that’ll give us more material in reality to draw from.”

Of course, awful people doing awful things aren’t the only subjects of Onion headlines. The satirical giant has spent the past quarter century making fun of everyone and everything — and while trying to name the paper’s 25 greatest heds is a little like trying to choose between your own demented children, there are certainly several that stand the test of time. Check out a list of favorites below — and don’t let this story stop you from citing more greatest hits in the comments.

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Immortal Tom Cruise supposedly celebrates 51st birthday

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Fun fact #1: Tom Cruise was born on the third of July. Method acting!

Fun fact #2: He shares his birthday with noted Top Gun enthusiast Franz Kafka. READ FULL STORY

Happy birthday, Lindsay Lohan! 27 reasons we're still fascinated by you

27 years ago today, Lindsay Morgan Lohan — née Lindsay Dee Lohan — was born in New York City.

It would be easy enough to mark the occasion by snarking about the state of her career — or with a much darker headline. Somehow, though, doing that wouldn’t feel right. Despite everything — and I do mean everything — Lindsay has said, done, and struck with her car over the past nine-ish years, there’s still a part of me (and maybe even a part of you) that wants to see her bounce back from her self-imposed train-wreckitude and emerge newly born, like a phoenix rising from an ashy nest of hair extensions and cigarette butts.

But why, exactly, am I rooting for Lindsay — and still fascinated by her, after all these years? Let me count the ways:

1. Her ace black and white court attire. It’s the duality of Lohan, guys!

2. Mean Girls, which — let’s face it — may as well be reasons 2-27 on this list. Some movies give an actor a lifetime pass, no matter what else they do professionally or in their personal lives; Mean Girls is one of those movies.

3. Her first-ever television appearance — on Letterman, in 1992, as a trick-or-treater dressed as garbage.

4. Her close and, by all accounts, genuine friendship with Charlie Sheen.

5. Her intense love triangle with Hilary Duff and Aaron Carter, circa 2003.

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Three star-making moments for three birthday girls: Mindy Kaling, Solange Knowles, & Minka Kelly

Mindy Kaling, Minka Kelly, and Solange Knowles are famous for vastly different reasons — but when you think about it, they’ve actually got a lot in common. All three have enviably perfect dark locks; all three have vastly more Twitter followers than you;  all three have been toiling in the fame mines for at least 10 years, slowly climbing the ladder from Fringe Festival plays/uncredited appearances in 2 Fast 2 Furious prologues/Disney Channel music videos to mainstream success.

Each member of the trio also happens to have been born on this day — 34, 33, and 27 years ago, respectively. Mindy is celebrating her birthday by donating to some of her fans’ favorite charities. Solange feted the occasion last night with her pal Erykah Badu. Minka’s present to herself, evidently, is a day largely free of Twitter. We’ll take a slightly different approach by looking back at each lady’s career — specifically, the early moments that indicated big things were coming for all three.

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Happy birthday, Justin Bieber! How will he spend his last year of teenagedom?

Today isn’t just the first day of March — it’s also the one-year anniversary of you officially not having to feel weird about being attracted to Justin Bieber.

That’s right: The Biebs turns 19 today. He’s reportedly celebrating the occasion by stalking shirtless around England before throwing a lavish, £10,000 (that’s $15,043 in real money) circus-themed party in an unnamed London hotspot.

There’s a certain poetry to this location — Bieber was born in London 19 years ago, albeit the one in Ontario. The theme, too, makes sense for someone who’s not a boy, not yet a man; a setting that combines clowns and a ringmaster plus scantily-clad acrobats and (presumably) booze perfectly represents Bieber’s in-between state. Though to really mark the occasion, he should probably sing about it in the desert.

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Happy birthday, Britney: 3+1 of our favorite music videos

It’s Britney’s birthday, y’all. The pop songstress turned reality television judge celebrates the big 31 today. Wowza. It seems like only yesterday that she was reminding us how not-so-innocent a teenager she was. Obviously, in terms of drama, it also feels like she’s lived about eight lifetimes. But 2012 was an upswing for her. She’s on The X Factor, has a new song with Will.i.am, and on the personal life front, is still engaged. You go, girl!

In honor of Brit’s big day, we rounded up four (3+1) of our favorite Spears music videos from over the years…including one I’m betting you non-superfans have forgotten about. Check out the dancing — and the signature syrup-y sweet vocals — below:

Toxic:
Obviously, you’ve got to start off with one of her most famous tracks. This video had everything: Sexy Britney, wig changes, that famous nude bedazzled bodysuit — not to mention a killer dance tune to start with. Just try and listen and not get the weirdly sexual airplane fun stuck in your head all over again.  READ FULL STORY

Happy B'Day, Beyonce! Let's count down why you're fabulous -- VIDEO

One score and 11 years ago, Mathew and Tina Knowles brought forth on this continent a new diva, conceived in Texas and dedicated to the proposition that all ’90s pop stars are not created equal. The same year that she reached legal voting age, a fresh-faced Beyoncé found superstardom as the lead singer of Destiny’s Child. And 13 summers later, she’s still one of pop culture’s heaviest hitters.

Today, Bey turns 31 — the age at which women are most beautiful, if a QVC poll is to be believed. But Mrs. Jay-Z has been and will be fierce at any age. So, in honor of the occasion — and this funky single from 4 — let’s count down precisely why we love Queen B so. Here are five reasons to get the ball rolling.

5. Because she knows the show must go on, even when one of your girls takes a tumble. Proof:

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Happy birthday, Nick Offerman and Aubrey Plaza!

Fact: Ron Swanson hates birthdays. Loud noises, crowds, corporate scams, and general merriment? Ugh. The worst. But it’s hard not to celebrate when Nick Offerman shares a birthday with Parks and Recreation co-star Aubrey Plaza, who plays his equally lovable but equally curmudgeonly assistant April Ludgate.

Offerman turns 42 today, and Plaza turns 28. Yup, you read that right — Ron Swanson may be a wise old father figure of sorts to April, but there’s only a 14-year age gap between the two actors. (The shared birthday also means they’re both Cancers, which is totally appropriate considering how crabby their characters are.) READ FULL STORY

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