Glamour! Elegance! The sweet smell of self-congratulation! None will be present at the 34th annual Razzie Awards, a proudly low-budget event dedicated to dishonoring the previous year’s worst movies. (Actually, make that “no-budget”; have you seen the Razzies’ website? It looks like a Geocities page from 1996.)
There are several strong contenders in this year’s Razzies race, from father-and-son team Will and Jaden Smith to perennial “winner” Adam Sandler and Golden Raspberry Award Foundation favorite Sylvester Stallone, who snagged a record-breaking 31st nomination for his work in three 2013 films. (Note: It is not hard to become a member of the Golden Raspberry Award Foundation. In fact, all you need is $40.)
Which of them will walk away with a $4.79 gold-spray-painted trophy come Saturday? The true answer is probably none; Razzie winners hardly ever show up to collect their prizes. (There are, of course, exceptions to every rule.) Even so, these awards are getting handed out — and here are EW’s official picks for which movies deserve each one, as well as which movies will probably end up on top. As it were.
Grown Ups 2
The Lone Ranger
A Madea Christmas
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