Welcome to ‘What Is Your Damage,’ Annie Barrett’s summer shop of all the melodrama and self-absorption she misses from springtime reality TV. Every Tuesday and Friday, she’ll rant about a current offense to her humanity, then assess readers’ damages via video replies. Don’t be shy about admitting what annoys or intrigues you. We’re all in this pop cult together!
What is your damage, Katy Perry? You’re making me feel like a hard old bitch.
Until yesterday my impression of you had been somewhat vague, a smattering of visuals and a strong if nonsensical set of aural hooks. If I heard your name, I’d think of rainbow sherbet , hot dogs that are really people, Snoop Dogg rolling a pair of sugarcube dice, and gummy bears come to life. Basically a child’s, or stoner’s, paradise. (If you did a “Downtempo Snaxxx Remix” of each hit single, by the way, you could easily corner another segment of the population.) I’m pretty sure I could pick your voice out of a police lineup, for crimes against candy. And without even trying, I somehow know all of your singles. Are there drugs in those? I hear them once and by the second go-round I’m BELTING them like some wall-licking beast.
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