Andy Rooney fixed his sights last night on an issue plaguing our nation, one that haunts us and confuses us each and every day: What is the deal with fruit?
"I think we would eat more fruit if we knew it was going to be any good when we bought it," Rooney says because total confusion is definitely the reason American diets are so effed. There are lots of serious issues about fruit, starting with OMG WTF is a papaya?!, and including the baffling concept that people work at grocery stores. "How'd you like to have the job of stacking fruit in a fruit store?" he chuckles. Also on Rooney's radar: Lemons are "one of the great fruits," melons are the money-sucking con-artists of the produce aisle, and green apples get DQ'd from the great fruit debate on account of being green!
Eight million people watched 60 Minutes last night, PopWatchers. We could marvel at that fact alone, but instead, we choose to spin this story forward in the comments section by asking you: What is your favorite fruit?
Don't get me wrong. I don't hate Brüno. I caught a screening of the movie last month and thought it was pretty funny, even if a lot of it felt staged to me. You'll never convince me that Paula Abdul wasn't in on the joke, loopy as she may be. And the central storytelling device -- foreigner comes to America with trusty sidekick, has a falling out with trusty sidekick, etc., etc. -- is a weak carbon copy of what drove the much funnier, fresher, and all-around more holy-crap-he-just-did-what?!Borat. (I'm not gonna get into the good-for-the-gays/bad-for-the-gays question here. Stay tuned for a post this weekend from Michael Slezak on that topic.) So yeah, I liked Brüno just fine.
But the Brüno marketing blitz that's been pummeling us for what seems like months now? Make it stop! The never-ending stream of "outrageous" Brünostunts around the globe is enough to make me want to declare war on the umlaut. Look! It's Brüno being flamboyant in London! Ah-ha, here's Brüno parading around as a bull in Madrid! Oh boy, now he's making Matt Lauer kiss his hand on the Today show! Sacha Baron Cohen, the man behind the titular character, even followed up a rare out-of-character appearance on Letterman this week with an in-character reading of Dave's Top Ten List last night. (The list? Ten reasons...to go see Brüno.)
I fully understand that promotion is as integral to the movie biz as suspenders are to Lederhosen. But Brüno, your shtick is starting to feel as stale as day-old Apfelstrudel. Ich bin so over you! What's your take on Brüno's übiquitoüsness? Is it über-annoying or über-hilarioüs?
Last night, Lou Diamond Phillips won the inaugural season of NBC's trashtacular I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here (nearly as annoying to type as it was to watch). In lieu of a treasure chest of wampum or a bug spray sponsorship, the La Bamba star arranged for a donation to be made to his charity of choice: the Art Has Heart Foundation, which helps low-income high school students. Awww. Good (aka Phillips) finally triumphed over Evil (aka Speidi, Janice Dickinson). And thousands (or dozens, or however many people were still watching) cheered.
But let's get real. The actual winner of this show was never going to be the person who "won." That's like saying bikini mud wrestling is really about pinning the opponent, or pretending the MTV Movie Awards are about celebrating the actor's craft. The series was all about exposure, about how far a gaggle of half-forgotten celebs would be willing to go for a moment of last-gasp fame. And by those rules, the clear winner was Team Speidi. From their first-episode meltdowns to their post-show publicity tour, Spencer and Heidi made sure all eyes were on them. And it worked. They used the show to get a 30-second extension on their 15 minutes and walked away from it with the victory, if not the actual prize.
What do you think, PopWatchers? Were Spencer and Heidi the real champs of the show, or does LDP deserve more respect for being a diamond in the rough? If they do this show again next summer, are you watching?
Aggggh! All I can think about when Betty White fondles Sandra Bullock's chest at the end of the trailer for The Proposal is the moment in Sixteen Candles at which Molly Ringwald gets felt up by her own grandma. This scene completely scarred me as a child. Thanks, John Hughes.
Hard to decide which elderly breast-related outburst is worse: Grandma Annie (White)'s "It's like an Easter Egg hunt...There they are!" or Grandma Helen's "Oh, Frank, look. She's got her boobies." Due to the grandfather factor and Samantha Baker's hangup about having a flat chest anyway, not to mention the giant bow, Sixteen Candles is still more cringe-worthy. At least for me. For you? Dawg?
Everyone's favorite couple, Spencer and Heidi Pratt, visited The Today Showthis morning for a brief chat with Al Roker and, true to form, they were able to mine some controversy out of it. In the tame clip below, Roker asked Speidi a few pointed but valid questions about their despicable/delicious behavior onI'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here -- like whether they were proud of the actions, and whether they actually thought they were tortured on the set of the show. Again: valid questions. Roker was calm, if a bit antagonistic, but certainly, it was nothing extraordinary.
Well, poor Heidi subsequently responded to the "abuse" by speaking out on Ryan Seacrest's radio show: "To be honest, I would never be interviewed by that man again....I
really would advise women especially to be careful around him, because
I feel like he definitely came and attacked me, and I did not
appreciate that at all." Can we all just pause and reflect how ridiculous that statement is? Roker, essentially a walking, talking fuzzy teddy bear, is apparently a danger to women. Come on!
Anyhow, Roker responded via Twitter with the following: "Heidi and Spencer are an interesting couple. famous for...being
infamous. Bad and vacuous behavior. I think we're at minute 11 of their
15." Amen! Personally, I was hoping we were at minute 14:59 instead of 11.
Who else has had more than enough of the sad phenomenon that is Spencer and Heidi Pratt? Or do you think Roker was a little too harsh on the couple?
PETA has revealed to EW the winners of its Sexiest Vegetarians Poll: American Idol's Kellie Pickler and Heroes' Milo Ventimiglia. Runners up for the women's category included Robin Quivers, Ellen Degeneres, and Portia de Rossi, and on the men's side: Owain Yeoman, Horatio Sanz, Mark Ruffalo, and...wait for it...trust me, I'm not buying it either....Michael Ausiello. Look at him over there, gritting his teeth. He just can't stand it.
Yep. Despite repeated pleas to his fans to vote for him, EW.com's owndesperado TV scoopster is decidedly not the Sexiest Vegetarian -- not even in this office, if you ask me -- for about the sixth straight year. If you'll recall, this PopWatch "frenemy" once locked me in a closet but has recently atoned for that sin by buying me this mousepad of a buttery, syrupy waffle, which would honestly look much better topped with bacon bits. Better luck next year, loser.
The Internet is flipping out today about the dangers of Rapid Lash, the renewal serum designed to make it seem like you have eyelashes and eyebrows. It works! But the serum, which includes a prostaglandin analogue called isopropyl cloprostenate, can irritate the eyes. And your eyes might change colors. Oh, and you could lose your vision entirely. We thought you should know, because lush lashes are harder to enjoy when you can't see them. But just as important, from an entertainment perspective, is how much better the Rapid Lash commercial becomes if you imagine that the perky host is Strangers With Candy's Jerri Blank (Amy Sedaris). Press play below.
Wait. Really? We're just openly acknowledging our Botox now? Oh. Okay, fine. At this point, Mary Murphy's bats--- craziness is still better than Nigel Lythgoe's INCESSANT RAMBLING. Seriously! Just stop talking!
I loved getting this tweet from Mandi last night: "This is the first season I'm watching SYTYCD. What is the hot tamale train, and why do they seem to want on it?" The explanation she deserves is so devoid of any meaning whatsoever that I can't even bring myself to attempt it. So feel free.
Which SYTYCD judge has annoyed you more after just one week -- Nigel or Mary? Her screaming was terrifying, but he did wear sunglasses indoors. Tough call.
The Star Trek-themed caskets, urns, monuments, and vaults available at Eternal Image are super awesome. Order now, and have fun in space! You're totally going to space. I mean look at your coffin. I really hope you'll enjoy it in space.
Seriously, though, if we all suddenly had to choose a pop-culture-themed transportation vessel from this life to whatever's next, what would yours be? I'll start: Arrested Development's Bluth Frozen Banana Stand, a.k.a. the Big Yellow Joint. Life-size replica so I could really stretch out, plus "there's always money" in there for my many travels. Margaret would like this PBR casket and a can of PBR, please. Bruno would like to be cremated and stored in a Flavor Flav-style clock cremation urn, so he doubles as a timepiece and isn't just wasting space up on the mantel. Slezak refuses to play along with my silly games and wants nothing more than "to be cremated and spread on the racetrack." So I will just go ahead and decide that this "racetrack" will be the animated landscape of the chalk drawing in Mary Poppins.
Mandi, being Mandi, wrote all this: "Oh, you know. I might have a standard-looking casket on the outside, but then on the inside, have the material silk-screened to look like the "Recorded List" from my DVR. So it would just be the names of my favorite shows of all-time, and the original airdates of my favorite episodes. And like, where the Star Trek symbol is, they could build a holder for my last remote."
She wins. With which pop culture-y theme would you prefer to leave this earth, P-Dubs?
Good news, unmarried women in your late 30s -- one of you is about to hit the jackpot! Excuse me, "jackpot." Fox has picked up the pilot for a reality series called I Married a Stranger, in which "friends" and "families" of a "lonely" lady will eliminate potential suitors for her one by one. What? These people can't possibly be her real friends or real family. Who says "Uh oh, Jane's in her late 30s and unmarried -- we'd better put her on a terrible reality show! How dare she not find love? How dare she." God forbid women of a certain age end up in cozy Slankets with some bitchin' munchies, having a total blast by themselves on their couches. Ugh, the nerve! This calls for a quick poll:
