Seems like everybody talks about TV at the office, even people who (unlike me and my co-workers) don't get paid to do so. A new survey specifies who's talking about which programs. No surprise, American Idol is the most talked-about show, popular among both men and women, and especially among workers 65 or older (ah, now we know who voted scary tattooed rocker Carly off the show). Besides AI, women like to talk about Dancing With the Stars (pictured), while men like to pretend they can make sense of talk about Lost.
Which shows are popular topics around your office watercooler? And do you think talking about TV helps or hurts your workplace productivity?
Because every channel needs its very own dancing competition show, TLC is now jumping on the conga line with what could be the Best.Dancing.Show.Ever. (If New York magazine can do it, so can I!) According to The Hollywood Reporter, production is slated to begin next month on Masters of Dance, a half-hour series that will feature six new competitors each week. But, of course, there's a twist. In the middle of each dancer's performance, the music will abruptly change. So imagine you're bringing sexy back to the pulse of a Justin Timberlake joint, when all of a sudden, a power ballad by Celine Dion takes over. I smell ratings gold.
No doubt producers will cook up some hilarious song mash-ups, but I want to know, PopWatchers, what dueling songs/artists would you like to see? Rihanna and Simon & Garfunkel? Styx and Britney Spears? Give us your best dichotomous duos.
My cube-mate Maksim Chmerkovskiy discusses his reunion with Mel (for Dancing With the Stars' 100th episode, May 6), Shannon and Derek's post-rumba rant, and the mind-numbing concept of "showmance," below:
After the jump: Maks picks his Top 3 for season 6, and names the best celebs to ever compete in the series. HINTS: Zig-a-zig ahhhhhhh, she's c-c-cold as ice, and, uh...Albert Clifford.
It's a slow news day, so I decided that it was finally time for me to watch Dancing With the Stars pro Julianne Hough's country video, "That Song in My Head." (She wants to hear it, you see, so she can play back the video she has in her mind of a blue-eyed boy, dancing in the bed of a two-tone Ford — oh Lord, it's love, y'all). Both the song and video are... basic. That's really the best word I can think of to describe them. (Because "inoffensive" is overused, right?) Her hair is impressive though (as always). So is the length of that pier she's walking on... I give it a 5. She's clearly having a great time, and were I a teenage girl (or, um, boy), that could be infectious.
For his latest guest star-laden publicity stunt, the late-night host celebrated episode 1000 with personal trainer Richard Simmons in clip that I personally think should have been even more Big Lebowski-esque in scope than it already is.
Eh. I much preferred Simmons' last visit to ABC, during which his sheer emotional intensity made DWTS contestant Jennie Garth cry. I must say, though, I'm pretty psyched that Richard Simmons and I are members of the same, exclusive Loserish Personas Who Carry Magic Wands In Web Videos club. I knew we had a lot in common!
exhaustivo adjective Feeling exhausted because you stayed up too late the night before watching shows recorded to your TiVo or DVR. Commonly accompanied by the self-flagellation, "Why do I do this to myself?"
Origin: Wednesday morning, three blocks into my 12-block walk to work, I regretted staying up till 3 a.m. watching (or fast-forwarding through) four new-to-me Angel repeats, American Idol, the Dancing With the Stars results show, and a Bones rerun on TNT that, hello, I actually own on DVD. (But it was the season 1 Christmas episode where everyone gets quarantined in the Jeffersonian, and only Booth gets to enjoy the fun side effects of the antifungal cocktail they're administered, as seen below.) Which is why I said to myself, as I was trudging, "I am exhaustivo."
Can't say I blame you! Try 2.5 minutes instead — a quick rundown of week 2's most ridiculous moments that can only be captured visually. Fine, and the real draw: EW.com intern Maksim Chmerkovskiy's answer to PopWatch reader "makslove"'s question: "Do you believe in love at first sight?" It's a yes!
Our favorite Russian hunka lovin' Maksim Chmerkovskiy claims a woman won't win Dancing With the Stars because women don't vote for other women. Hey now! Is he full of it? He has a point, but I maintain that Kristi Yamaguchi's got a decent shot. Have you seen that girl spin?
Dancing With the Stars pro Maksim C-h-m-e-r-k-o-v-s-k-i-y, who's sitting out season 6, will be in the EW.com office (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to chat with me about the Week 1 performances, airing tonight and tomorrow on ABC. Look for our video interview on Thursday.
While samba rolls and "beautiful lines" are way important, I'd like to include a special "Get to know Maksim" segment, for your pleasure. So any questions you have for Maks, post away! I'm sure you can come up with something better than "How do you spell your last name?" Just don't ask ridiculous things like "What mambo do you prefer -- vertical or horizontal?" Because that'd be grammatically incorrect. It's "Which mambo..." And it's my question. Back off.
God, I hope he gets it... right. Does the world really need a muscle-bound TV personality (who paid his dues on Kids Incorporated and shot straight to C-list fame with Saved By the Bell) to step into the acclaimed New York company of A Chorus Line? Mario Lopez will make his Broadway debut as Zach, the director of the show-within-a-show who persuades auditioning dancers to talk about their personal lives.
Lopez' career has been all over the map for years, but you gotta wonder, how did Slater end up in A Chorus Line? At first I thought Lopez was too young for the role of Zach, but don't let his baby-face fool you — he's in his mid-30s. When he partnered with ballroom champ Karina Smirnoff on a certain ABC talent contest, his talent as a dancer was obvious. And I don't doubt he'll be comfortable giving direction and choreography to more experienced Broadway veterans (for proof, see this clip of Lopez on Megan Mullally's short-lived chat show). However, it's always going to be risky to cast a famous name in the role of Zach, since the point of this musical theater masterpiece is to focus on the usually anonymous chorus gypsies. (That's why scripting more Zach screen time for marquee star Michael Douglas helped torpedo the 1985 film version, although the Cassie flashback wigs must share the blame.)
I can only guess that the Broadway production’s creative staff began thinking of Lopez as Chorus Line material after his name recognition rose with each passing week on Dancing with the Stars; they probably envisioned him as Larry (the legwarmered assistant who drills the dance steps), or Paul (the shy Puerto Rican dancer), or Al (the buff guy whose wife can’t sing). But then they must have seen this cheeze-explosion (clip below) from the Oxygen original movie Husband For Hire, and said to each other, "Ummmm, yeah. He should play the guy who’s not on stage very much."
PopWatchers, do you think Lopez has what it takes to be a Broadway star?
It absolutely pains me to face a new Dancing With the Stars season without Maksim Chmerkovskiy, beefy lover of self, on board. But then I consider the great potential for a new Maks-centric series (now that he's a free agent), and I slowly push the high-end vodka bottle to the edge of my cube. Possible titles include:
One White Russian, Please Egomania! (this could also be a good board game) (Oh my God, it already is) "Pay Attention," Spoken With a Russian Accent You're Not Doing That Right Martha Stewart Should Have Bought ME Grab Your Cape Let's Clench Our Butt With Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Those last two were inspired by the Paso Doble section of my favorite exercise tape, Dancing With the StarsCardio Dance on DVD. Here's a glimpse of Maks putting his expertise — butt clenching and Always Being In Charge — to good use:
He's such a tease at the end there. I've found it's best to imagine a small boy marching alongside the exercisers and playing the fife during this clip. Anyway, who wants to work out with Maks (and Ashly, and Kym, and me)? And what should Maks' new show be, besides the weekly EW.com DWTS recap video he should obviously be lunging at the chance to host?
So, the rumors about Marlee Matlin (pictured) and Steve Guttenberg are true. Both are going to be hoofing it in the sixth cycle of Dancing With the Stars, which premieres March 17. I'm not going to pretend I have enough DWTS savvy to handicap the winner, but let's see: Matlin, of course, is the most interesting contestant; at the very least, the deaf actress' tenure on the show should be educational for viewers. Penn Jillette never struck me as the most graceful guy, but he's used to trotting around the stage with a silent partner, so he should be fine. (Is he the requisite distinguished older gentleman, or is that the Gutt?) There are three athletes, including skater Kristi Yamaguchi, who should be used to the spangly costumes. And it's nice to see that Shannon Elizabeth and Priscilla Presley haven't fallen off the face of the earth.
Okay, PopWatchers, who do you like? Who do you think will win, and who will fall flat? And are you miffed that there'll be no Maksim?
I kept hearing rumors that my favorite Dancing With the Stars pro Edyta Sliwinska (along with Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who manages to emote volumes despite having no lines) currently stars in a commercial for Jared The Galleria of Jewelry (?!). During a severe mental lapse last night in which I accidentally watched a commercial block, I finally caught it:
The best part — except for, obviously, the pair's slick moves and Maks' unnecessarily slick 'do — is when Edyta tells the Len Goodman wannabe in the PLAID SUIT that Maks got her glistening jewels at Jared and he makes this knowing face, like "But of course. He went to Jared. Given that company's reputation, I am not surprised!"
Next up? Edyta's own line of legwarmers. Make it happen!
Hypothetical: Let's say a person is in the middle of redoing his bathroom, and he's been lobbying his husband relentlessly to agree to purple-and-white polka-dot walls. (Controversial, yes, but totally bitchin'.) Now let's say this person then accidentally stumbles across a gallery of celebrity-autographed toilet-seat appliqués — no, really! It's here on the This Old House site; I don't make this stuff up — being auctioned off on eBay next week to benefit the American Cancer Society. Lo and behold, the hotness that is Maksim Chmerkovskiy has lent his John Hancock to one of the items up for bids, but it's in a "toxic autumn" palette of orange, yellow and green. And while this "toilet tattoo" complements the plum-and-white plan about as well as toothpaste goes with orange juice, let us not forget: Maksim Chmerkovskiy signed it!
So here's what I need to know: Does our mystery bathroom renovator go ahead and do his part in finding a cure for cancer by bidding on Maksim's item? And if he does — and thus messes up months of strategic decorative planning — is it grounds for divorce? Or does the charitable nature of the bidding negate all the drama? (Also, which one are you gonna bid on? Don't say Maksim!) Discuss!
Hillary Clinton isn't really considering taking up an offer to two-step on the Dancing With the Stars tour, is she? Then again, no showbiz platform is beneath the dignity of a presidential candidate anymore, thanks to the slippery slope that began with her husband's sax-tootling performance on Arsenio Hall 16 years ago. Who knows, maybe a twirl with the DWTS folks could help soften her image and give her the appearance of being a regular gal that she's been trying so hard to convey. Maybe a steamy tango with Maks could get voters to stop thinking of Barack Obama (for a moment, at least) as the sexier Democrat.
Which politicians would you like to see on Dancing With the Stars? And which DWTS pros would you partner them with?
Quick fix for the writer's strike: Force execs to sit through the arduous two-hour premiere of Dance War: Bruno vs. Carrie Ann, ABC's latest reality talent show. Scripted TV has never looked so sweet.
Of course, I have to confess: I managed to sleep through the American Idol phenomenon, and have never seen Dancing With the Stars, the hit from which this sugary new confection was spun. That I'm following Dance War for PopWatch is either a case of inspired counterintuitive casting or because no one else on the EW staff raised their hand.
You decide.
So this is what's happening for the next six weeks: Two big personality judges/choreographers, Bruno Tonioli and Carrie Ann Inaba, recruit a bunch of young performers, divide into two teams, then go head-to-head in a competition. Bruno is a flamboyant little dude with a fey British-Italian accent who resembles a cross between Alan Cumming and Kevin Spacey. Carrie Ann has a savage tan and likes to wears sequined minidresses.
Last night, they tried to play up a rivalry, but didn't strike a lot of sparks. Occasionally, "host" Drew Lachey, a former Dancing with the Stars champ, turned up looking ill-at-ease and disheveled. He'd crack a lame joke and then call out, "Let's give it up for Bruno and Carrie Ann!" Not sure what his role will be in the unfolding drama.
They saw scads of acts this week in their visits to New York, Los Angeles, and Nashville. They turned what must have been an ordeal into an ordeal, barraging us with clips of would-be performers would-be performing accompanied by the unfunny repartee of Bruno and Carrie Ann.
Wit. I expected more. Here were the stabs at humor I noted: At the Tennessee State Fair, Carrie Ann tried to milk a cow. Hilarious! And there was the genius comedy of people singing off-key while Bruno mugged despair. Original! Not that there weren't a few worthwhile contestants.
I wanted to be Marie Osmond when I was little (or, rather, I wanted to be an only-child version of Marie, so that I could sing duets with Donny and also marry him and share purple socks. Something kinky like that.) Many Dancing With The Stars watchers don’t get how the mediocre moves of America’s Corniest Sweetheart kept her afloat in the competition week after week, but I don’t think speed-dialing Osmondphiles are the only explanation. I find new-millennium Marie irresistible for one simple reason: she seems like she might just be bonkers.
Look no further than the horror show—I mean, baby-doll routine—she freestyled in Monday’s DWTS finals (click here if you haven't seen it), and her hyper reaction (defensive, much?) when the judges panned it. At Marie’s most high-strung, she chortles and snortles and blurts out her thoughts, and you can just about hear another screw go loose. Then she pulls herself together and makes you wonder: Is this nearly-off-her-rocker persona calculated to stand out in today’s noisy reality TV landscape, or is she frazzled due to a personal life in shambles? The loyal little girl in me believes the latter, but regardless, she’s got our attention now, and she’ll probably be tenacious about letting it go. Since Donny & Marie went off the air, she’s been an actress, country crooner, queen of a lucrative home-shopping doll empire, and talk show cohost. She’s even tried her hand at radio (in this 2004 clip of Marie and Friends, she cracks herself up telling listeners about the time she peed her pants on a date. Not during the date. On the guy.)
So what do you think should be Marie's next move? I’d never want her to do something completely nuts like go off her meds or lead sing-a-longs at Mitt Romney rallies, but what about this: Would ABC fire up a new season of The Bachelorette for her? Now, that would be crazy good!
Was it just us in the press room or was Monday's much-hyped Dancing With the Stars finale a bit lackluster? Based on Annie Barrett's must-read TV Watch, I'm suspecting the answer is a resounding "no!" But one thing's for sure, the pro dancers were not feeling the judges this time around, and, following the show, didn't exactly keep quiet about it. As for the celebrities, they had some fighting words for each other.
Read on for our post-finale interviews, minus one Mel B., who had to head straight to Spice Girls rehearsals, but told us last Tuesday, "I'm gonna sack myself next week. I've had enough."
Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough (pictured)
EW: The judges were pretty tough tonight. Julianne, having won last year, did you think about putting limits on the freestyle? Julianne: Personally, I don't think there should be any limits with the freestyle, it's what you want to do. I don't think the judges should say, "I don't like that because of my personal taste." Marie, she wanted to be a doll, so good for her. I think the judges really put a downer on the whole show. The audience was so excited at the beginning, and then the criticism brought everybody down and made everyone nervous. It brought all this negative energy. So I said, "You know what, Helio? Let's forget about the judges, pretend we're in dress rehearsal and just go out and have fun." Helio: I'm just so pissed. I went for the 10 on the freestyle and Carrie Ann gave me just a 9. I can't believe it. Maybe she was having one of those days.
Slezak: Hey, Annie Barrett, did you hear the big news about America's Next Top Model? Twiggy has been asked to return to the house immediately, pack her belongings, and go home. Annie: Did you take a deep breath between "go" and "home," like Tyra does? Slezak: I tried to...but it's hard to insert a dramatic pause in an IM. Annie: Totally. Slezak: Actually, according to The CW, Twiggy is leaving due to "scheduling conflicts," though let's be honest, she had a repertoire of, like, the same four adjectives she used every episode. Annie: She'll be missed! Okay, not really. But I do love her replacement, author (!) and doomed DWTS contestant Paulina Porizkova. Slezak: Yeah, Paulina has spunk, class, and a good sense of humor. I just don't know if she brings the betchiness I've been missing since Janice Dickinson left the panel. Annie: Paulina's hilarious. I just hope she doesn't get walked all over by Tyra and her ambiguous "agenda." Slezak: I give her three weeks before she starts giving the girls contradictory, self-esteem-wrecking critiques. Annie: And Ty-rant better not play the age card like she did with "eh-LIVING legend, tuh-WIGGY." The way she always said it, it was like she was surprised Twiggy was still alive each week. Gross. Slezak: I expected old Twigs to pop up and shout, "not dead yet!" Annie: How could she have never done that? Slezak:I know, riiiiiiiiight? Annie: When you say "I know, riiiiiiiiight?" it's officially time to end this conversation.
What? DANCMSTR Len Goodman calls Marie Osmond a cougar all the time! Only now do I see the resemblance. If you're up to date on Dancing With the Stars, you know that she of the massive fan base will likely win season 5. And if you're not up to date, check out today's Take 5 video, in which I give out prestigious awards like "Strangest Motivational Segment" (Richard Simmons) and "Most Bizarre Song/Dance Pairing" (the Superman paso doble, obvs) to relive its most memorable moments.
Last time I checked, the questionably existent "point" of DWTS is that the best ballroom-dancing celebrity should win what Tom Bergeron modestly labels "a splendid mirrorball trophy." True, the best dancer of each season has not always won, but... Marie Osmond? Really? I can't believe I'm writing this, but tonight I'm actually going to vote. Mel or Helio for the win, people!
Ha! Is anyone still reading? You should have stopped as soon as I said there might be a point to Dancing With the Stars. Anyway, will Marie's impending victory turn you off to the show for good? And since my TV Watch won't go up until at least 7 a.m., what did you think of the performance finale? How awesome was that one dance by that one contestant? I know! For real!
That's Jennie Garth, wondering if she's about to get eaten or Mickey-macked-on during last night's Dancing With the Stars (obligatory Disney plug of the week). I've actually always felt bad for Disney characters. How can they make out with anyone if their mouths can't move? What if they're really in love? It's embarrassing. :(
Anyway, time to play "Beat This Caption." On your mark, get set...
A few months back, I pointed out a crazy-effusive headline from the folks at Star magazine, and invited all of you to chime and offer overzealous news tidbits from your own lives. The results were not unexpectedly hilarious.
Last night, I ate a delicious sweet-potato soufflé from the pages of Everyday Food! While watching an old episode of 30 Rockon my DVR! And totally LOL'd when Carrie Fisher dropped an awesome Princess Leia reference!
Okay, your turn! And, for the love of all that's holy, don't forget the exclamation points!!!!!
So, "There won't be flying in 'Dancing' finale", you tell me? Stop, before you blow my mind! Does that mean (as PopWatch's Gary Susman just asked me) that there won't be any mind-reading, energy bolt-hurling, telekinesis, predicting the future, invisibility, or bending of the space-time continuum, either? (Oops, wrong show.)
Okay, after some Googling, I am gathering that this headline has something to do with all the cross-country planes that recently-eliminated contestant Cameron Mathison had to take this season, right? Or maybe it's about how people called him "Superman" after he did that routine with the "S" on his chest? Sorry! I don't really watch Dancing With the Stars very often, as you can probably tell. But now I might have to tune in to the finale to get to the bottom of this whole lack-of-superpowers thing...
I'm talking strictly ballroom here, but there's no denying Dancing with the Stars' Melanie Brown and her partner, Maksim Chmerkovskiy, have some serious chemistry. They save those hot, effortless-looking routines for the floor, but once the (TV) lights go down, you'd think this wacky duo was a brother-sister team, or an old married couple (see our post-show chat below). Still, having covered the series for three seasons now, I can honestly say I've never seen Maks, who's pined for a top spot since day one and is the only dancer to match the ego of even the most narcissistic celebrity contestant, look happier. I say he's finally gonna make it all the way (now, if he could only learn to button his shirt). What do you think? Do they have a shot? Chime in, once you've read our interview, after the jump.
I'm not super interested in stories about local bank holdups or how the contents of my medicine cabinet could kill me, so I almost never stick around for any of my local network affiliates' 11 p.m. newscasts. That said, last night's post-Bachelor tease — "See which celebrity collapsed during Dancing With the Stars!" — had me glued to my set, and gasping with astonishment. My first response, "Yikes! Poor Marie Osmond!" Which was quickly followed by, "Sympathy votes!" And then my mind jumped to the time that dude fell hands-first into a bonfire on Survivor.
So, once you've read Annie Barrett's always hilarious TV Watch and watched the embedded clip of Osmond's collapse, riddle me this: What are the most shocking moments you've ever seen during a live television (or reality television) broadcast?
After tonight's performance show, billionaire Mark Cuban (pictured, with partner Kym Johnson) will have done which of the following?
A) executed a staggeringly stompy paso doble B) screamed at Bruno after getting called for "traveling" during his waltz C) mouthed all the words to ABBA's "Money, Money, Money,'' to which his dance will surely be set D) scheduled hip-replacement replacement surgery
Who knows? It's waltz and paso night on DWTS — and cohost Samantha Harris' first night back from maternity leave — so anything can happen! Leave your predictions and/or comments about tonight's show, below. And you'll obviously want to come back in the morning to read my ever-exhaustive TV Watch, in which I will devote 300 words to whatever Edyta is wearing and come up with a new way to use the word "Cheeto" as a subtle reference to Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan. Oh the places we'll go...
I love Cheryl Burke, but if Wayne Newton (pictured, with her) is still around after this week, it'll be a Danke Shame. I don't want to put more pressure on my pick to take the trophy, Helio Castroneves, but this morning, my mood brightened when I remembered that I'd be watching him dance tonight — and also, that I'd be receiving another phone call from my mother afterwards inquiring about his marital status. (Not for me, for her. And note: my parents are still together.)
So, make your own predictions below, then come back to this spot after the show to discuss whatever unfortunate thing happened to Jennie Garth this week. Don't forget to check out Annie Barrett's must-read DWTS TV Watch on Tuesday morning.
Maybe they should call it "Dancing With the Cars." Two-time Indy 500 champ Helio Castroneves (pictured, with partner Julianne Hough) is also your favorite, so far, to foxtrot away with the top prize on Dancing With the Stars, according to our poll. Do you think he'll keep lapping the competition, or will he hit a wall? What do you think will happen on tonight's show? Make your predictions below, and come back to chat afterwards. And don't forget to make a pit stop at Annie Barrett's DancingTV Watch column Tuesday morning.
Is it okay if I root for Marie Osmond (pictured, with dance partner Jonathan Roberts) this season because I find her the least squirm-inducing of all the contestants? Argue for or against Ms. A-Little-Bit-Country below as you steel yourself for tonight's premiere of Dancing With the Stars, in which Osmond, Jennie Garth, Scary Spice, and three other women will take the floor (the men compete tomorrow night, with the results on Wednesday). Then, come back to this spot after tonight's show and discuss. And keep an eye out for Annie Barrett's beloved DWTSTV Watch column, premiering Tuesday morning.
An avowed Dancing With the Stars fanatic known as, um, my mother unleashed a torrent of e-mail rage upon me, her unsuspecting son, in response to yesterday's leak of the next batch of Dancing With the Stars hoofers. (The official list will be announced Wednesday on Good Morning America by judge Carrie Ann Inaba, pictured, and reigning champ Apolo Anton Ohno.) She's not normally a woman of strong words — unless you count the time she snapped at me to "just wear the f-----g things" after I whined about a poorly made pair of angel wings approximately one hour before I was supposed to be onstage singing at the children's Christmas mass — so I found the following e-mail worth sharing:
From: Mom
Sent: Monday, August 27, 2007 5:24 PM
To: Fonseca, Nicholas - Entertainment Weekly
Subject: Re: FW: TMZ EXCLUSIVE: "Dancing with the Stars" Cast Leaked!!
No, not Wayne Newton.... He drives me nuts!!!! Well I see that night will be free to watch something else!!! I can't believe they couldn't get better people than this.. I thought everyone wanted to be on this show!!! Maybe this is all wrong (I hope). They just did it to throw people off!!!
Mom
So I've learned two things about my mother today: She uses three exclamation points when she's especially riled up over her popular entertainment, and Wayne Newton is officially her reality TV dealbreaker. Say, who's yours? Which "star" would drive you away from your favorite reality TV show if they suddenly waltzed onscreen?
So TV Guide Network just announced their newest red-carpet reporter: Someone who's got "high energy," according to the network chief. Someone, he says, who's "white-hot." Someone who's...Joey Fatone?! Really? Luckily, PopWatch's crack red-carpet-reporter reporting team got its hands on a top-secret internal memo explaining the nefarious conspiracy behind this turn of events—and this one goes straight to the top.
FROM: Rupert Murdoch TO: All News Corp. employees RE: The Fatone question
Minions,
By now, you will have heard of Joseph A. Fatone, Jr.'s selection as the full-time red-carpet reporter for TV Guide Network, News Corp.'s sometime corporate partner. Know two things: First, I ordered this move myself. And when I did, I anticipated that it might cause some considerable consternation. (As I write, I'm sure, some sarcastic pop-culture blogger is already mocking Fatone's hiring—perhaps even finding a far-fetched way to draw me into it.)
But let them carp all they like. For starters, "Bye Bye Bye" is, like, my all-time favorite song. What's more, Fatone's new role will play an instrumental part in an ambitious inter-network plan I developed some time ago. Viz., Fox is shooting a second season of Anchorwoman! You know, that new reality show about the Texas TV news crew that hires a model who's woefully incapable of doing the job? I was pretty proud of my underlings for coming up with that one, but it'll be even better next year, once we get some footage of Fatone on the red carpet. People just can't get enough of that lovable lunk. Picture him huffing and puffing as he chases down actual celebrities to ask them idiotic questions—the worse he does, the funnier it'll be. We've even got a new title for the next season: Anchorman! (I'm told there may be some trademark complications; legal is looking into it.)
So when you or any of your employees see Fatone covering an event, please make life as difficult as possible for him. Refuse to answer his questions; scream insults at him; whatever it is, make him look like a fool. Our ratings, your stock options—and possibly the lives of your first-born—depend on it.
And if you think this is going to make for good TV, just wait for our third-season concept. Vanessa Minnillo. Hosting the Oscars. See? I really am evil!
Though ABC hasn't officially announced the roster, EW has learned that Wayne Newton (pictured), aka Mr. Las Vegas, will follow in the tanned footsteps of George Hamilton and John O'Hurley when he joins Dancing with the Stars this fall. At 65, Newton still tours with the USO and makes regular appearances in his hometown of Vegas.
No word yet on which professional dancer he'll be paired with, or on the identities of his fellow competitors — but we're keeping our fingers crossed for Bob Barker since he's free as a bird (hey, a girl can dream!). ABC would not confirm or deny Newton's participation.
Judge Carrie Ann and Season 4 winner Apolo Ohno will announce the next lineup Aug. 29 on Good Morning America.
With the fall TV season just weeks away, I've come to realize, it's not you, it's me. Wait, actually, it is you. You and the former boy-bander. And the former TV heartthrob. And the charming but slightly awkward pro athlete. And the not-quite-committed country singer looking for a career boost. And the old dude who tries really hard and injects "humor" into his routines. And the supermodel/pageant queen. You see where I'm going with this? We've only been together for four seasons, and already you've gotten predictable, boring even.
I can still remember our first meeting. I was ready to dismiss you as this weird, bespangled throwback, but you came on so strong and so unexpectedly — all feathers and sequins and lights and stilted cover tunes — I never even knew what hit me. (Though, come to think of it, it was probably Rachel Hunter's leg. Or maybe John O'Hurley's cape.) Now, though, the intensity is gone. Last season, you started clogging up my DVR — especially once I realized Annie Barrett's TV Watches were a lot more entertaining (and a lot less time-intensive) than spending every Monday and Tuesday night with you. Yeah, I'll miss Bruno's ludicrous critiques, and the "Live from Hollywood!" intro, and especially Maksim's unabashed love of a plunging neckline. But I've got a photo of him (pictured, with Laila Ali) tacked to my bulletin board — and a hot date planned with The Bionic Woman come September. So please, DWTS, let's always remember the good times — Lisa Rinna's elation with scoring a '9,' the Lachey-Burke routine to "Dirrty," the Lopez-Smirnoff sho-mance — and best of luck to you for season 5.
My all-time favoriteDancing With the Stars contestant, Lisa Rinna, turns 44 today, and under the old adage that a YouTube clip is worth 1,000 haikus, I present to you the former Melrose Place star's legendary paso doble, performed to the strains of "The Final Countdown." (YES!)
Watch as Rinna tears into the dance with a ferocity of a feral cat encountering a crystal goblet of Fancy Feast! Witness her psychotic break after getting props from Carrie Ann Inaba! And (damn!) check out those abs!
This woman is truly worth her weight in cheese, and for that, she gets mad PopWatch props for her birthday.
Or just The Hott? (Sorry.) Nerve.com posted your insightful Dancing With the Stars commentary of the day (because I clearly won't be writing one): Why DWTS is the new Baywatch. I don't agree with everything it says (for example, the part about "John Hurley" winning season 1), but it's an interesting comparison. That flashy intro segment, in which the couples shake their thangs down the glass steps, has always struck me as the swimsuit portion of a beauty pageant...which pretty much does equal Baywatch. I always find it hilarious when one or two of the women have a less revealing outfit on than the others and it's almost like they're ashamed they couldn't make a sluttier entrance for the rabid crowd. Wait 'til next time, when I show up in a thong, they're thinking. Or if it's Edyta, just leg-warmers. (I think our photo diva Katy was playing a sick trick on me by selecting Laila's worst outfit ever, but you get the point. No shirt on Maks. The Baywatch effect goes both ways.)
Speaking of salivating over Dancing... If you missed our video interviews with season 4 winner Apolo Anton Ohno, check 'em out here, then here. He refrigerates his Peanut M&M's. I love this guy!
So 'fess up: Does anyone watch Dancing With the Stars just for the hot bods? Why is this better than, say, porn? AND HAVE YOU NO RESPECT FOR THE PASO DOBLE?!
Apolo Anton Ohno may have taken the Dancing with the Stars crown, but we all know judge Len Goodman is the king of the ballroom. He's just released an instructional DVD, creatively titled Dance with Len Goodman, in which he teaches beginners the basic steps and holds of eight dances: the Quickstep, Foxtrot, Waltz, Tango, "Cha Cha Cha," Samba, Rumba, and Jive. If you're hoping to see Len bust a move, you'll be disappointed — he's on the dance floor in a coach capacity only (although he can barely control himself during the Samba and Jive). Still, I give his teaching technique a 10. After one play of the DVD on my work computer, I'd mastered the "Cha Cha Cha" and Samba from the comfort of my swiveling chair. I just don't know how to score these limerick intros:
"When dancing the Cha Cha Cha, Come on to the floor like a star. You can bump, you can grind, You can move your behind. One tip girl, best wear a bra."
"Remember, whilst doing the Rumba, To act like a cool cucumber. With the correct hip action, There’ll be lots of attraction And requests for your telephone number."
"Staccato’s the key to the Tango. Hold tight, girl, and just watch your mango. Down Argentine way, They dance it all day. But never, of course, with a banjo."
You read it here, PopWatchers, Apolo Anton Ohno won Dancing with the Stars — actually, you read it here a long time ago, before the season even began, in a little blog post that I wrote in February. I believe my exact words about A.A.O. were: "He's gonna win, duh." Well, duh, PopWatchers, duh! I nailed it, baby! Vegas, here I come! So, anyway, that's all. Thanks in advance for your props.
The final showdown of Dancing with the Stars came and went, but it certainly was an evening to remember, not just for new winners Apolo Anton Ohno and Julianne Hough, but also for every former contestant and audience member seated in the ballroom Tuesday night. The energy, as Bruno would say, was electrifying.
Of course, for Joey Fatone, it's time to hang up those dancing shoes. And Laila Ali, put away that glitter, girl, and say goodbye. You gave your best, but we guess your best wasn't good enough. Still, it was a good ride made all the more enjoyable by some fierce competition. So what did they all have to say before hopping on a private jet to New York, where Good Morning America beckoned? Read on for some post-show bites...
Let's get ready to rumba! Reporting to you live from Dancing With the Stars (well, a few hours later — call it a West Coast tape delay), PopWatch was there at the final showdown between celebrity contestants Laila Ali, Joey Fatone and Apolo Anton Ohno. Along with their respective dance partners — Maksim Chmerkovskiy, Kym Johnson and Julianne Hough — the three hoofers duked it out in two final dances: their best of the season and a freestyle routine of their choice. As we all know, eight Dancing hopefuls have already seen their trophy dreams shattered; now, who will take the coveted prize? That was the question on everyone's minds and no one had a clear answer.
The sidelines of Dancing with the Stars are very different from American Idol, which tapes next door at CBS Television City. We journos are not seated in the audience for the show, but rather right outside the stage doors in a greenroom-like enclosure where, along with the contestants' various publicists, stylists, managers, and other professional hand-holders, we watch along on multiple monitors connected to the live feed. No one really holds back their opinions here. If Len says something stodgy or mean, we all boo. If Joey flips over, we all cheer — it's like a parallel universe to the very same thing happening some 20 feet away.
'Tis a sad, sad day in the life of recent Elvis impersonator Ian Ziering (pictured, with Cheryl Burke), who will never get to confess things against the fake backdrop of someone's grandmother's house ever again! He will, however, get to return next week (along with everyone else) for the season finale. Speaking of which, here are a few things I'd like to see: •Paulina and Alec: A Medley of Dancing and Luscious Hair... because she wanted to dance so badly and remains, oddly, my favorite contestant to date. •Carlton Banks. Yet again. •Paddle-throwing contest among the three judges. First one to hit Samantha Harris in the face microphone wins! •Fringe! Sequins have been whupping Fringe's ass all season, and frankly, I've had enough. •Your turn!
Was it really Ian's time to leave? Which dances do you want to see from which couples next week? (Apologies to everyone who wanted to post on yesterday's TV Watch. Message boards remain invisible; feel free to comment here about this week's performances.)
I try not to disappoint, PopWatchers, but sometimes it’s hard to be in two places at once and last night’s Idol was one of those situations. So I asked my good friend, and, yes, high school fling, Ari Karpel to be initiated into the exclusive club that is the Idol audience. And, as I’m sure you saw/read, he did a fabulous job.
But because I had an all-access pass to the studio where both Dancing With the Stars and Idol are taped, I fully took advantage of it and got a little backstage scoop for you guys. Shall we call it, Dancing With the Idols?
Unlike all the other "stars" who announce they'll be in Chicago way in advance, Blossom brother and long-lost twin of the Cracker Jack mascot Joey Lawrence waited 'til the day of. He'll be on Broadway as the "slick" (as in scalp) lawyer Billy Flynn from tonight until June 17.
It's too bad Joey won't be part of the same cast as fellow Dancing With the Stars losers Harry Hamlin and Lisa Rinna, who are slated to play Flynn and Roxie Hart from June 19-July 29. They could have all gathered on stage at random points throughout the show to remind the audience they were performing "Liiiiiiiiiiive!" Can't the producers tweak Chicago just a little bit to include some sort of sailor character for Joey? He pulls the look off so well. Tell me you would not go see this.
I wish it wasn't so, but it had to happen: On Dancing With the Stars, John and MVP of Life Edyta got the boot last night. Obviously, John should have outlasted the less-talented Billy Ray Cyrus, but that dude's got fans, and you don't mess with country music fans.
This week's elimination show was waaaaay more entertaining than usual. We reveled in the open-shirted brilliance of Louis Van Amstel Light and Alec Mazo's adorable troupe of I Can't Believe It's Not Adults dancing kids. And Tom Bergeron shared a bed with two men. And the somewhat haunting Meat Loaf showed up to scare away any remaining specter of Heather Mills and what Billy Ray might call her "veganocracy."
But what truly upped last night's game was Dancecenter, the SportsCenter spoof hosted by national treasure Kenny Mayne, season 2 fave Jerry Rice, and the ever-crotchety Len Goodman. These segments were hysterical, featuring animated scribbling (Joey's butt: "BIG!!" Apolo's goatee: "??") and stat boxes (pictured). Kenny's deadpan aggression — like when he barked at Len, "Answer the question!" — is exactly the type of wink-wink commentary this show needs. Not to mention, he and Jerry sported diamond-dotted shirts without the slightest acknowledgment. Bring Dancecenter back! Who's with me? And what did you think about last night's elimination?
It was Heather Mills' last stand on Tuesday night, as the former Mrs. Paul McCartney and her partner, Jonathan Roberts, were voted off Dancing with the Stars six couples away from the finish line. Admittedly, it was a long, impressive run for Heather, who told me people ("90 percent with two left feet, 10 percent amputees") are now constantly calling her an inspiration. "Especially, the two-left people," she said. "Those who aren't confident enough to try dancing and they go, 'Come on, get it together. If she can do it, I gotta do it.'"
So who does Heather predict will take the ballroom crown? (She's given it some thought.)
Heather: "I think Apolo will win, then Joey, then Laila, then either Billy Ray or Ian. Probably Billy Ray." Jonathan: "I think Joey will win."
Heather: "I don’t think Joey will win if it’s done properly, because he’s got a lot of dance experience. I love him to bits and Kym is my favorite dancer, but I think Apolo deserves to win because he was never a dancer and he's exceptional at it for someone who’s just beginning. Plus, Julianne’s a great teacher. We’ll be watching and supporting."
(To talk about Heather's last performance and her ouster, be sure to check out Annie Barrett's TV Watch.)
He may not be the best celebrity contestant of the bunch, but on Monday's Dancing with the Stars, Billy Ray Cyrus was among the most talked about thanks to an unforgettable pant-splitting episode, hunky group dance moves (in '40s army wear) and, of course, that unflappable smile (even Ian Ziering was told to try and tap into Cyrus's impassioned effort). Knowing the end is likely near, we caught up with the country star (and dad of pre-teen TV/pop star Miley Cyrus) and his dancing partner Karina Smirnoff to see what the future holds. What we learned is that when it comes to the Cyrus clan, it's all about synergy... and Sanjaya.
EW: So what happened out there tonight, you guys? Karina: We were doing the jive, and Billy Ray had to do a jump and a sit, and as he did the sit, the pants split, so he freaked out and looked underneath, and there was the crotch shot. Billy Ray: The thing is, on last week's show, the dance of love, I tried really hard technically to do all the things right, so that the judges would love it and I would make Karina proud. I tried my head off, but [the judges said] it ended up looking like hanky-panky in the back seat of a Chevy. That hurt my feelings! So I told Karina, "If they're going to give us comments about hanky-panky, let's give them hanky-panky!" Karina: But doesn't he look good in the uniform? I'd want to do hanky-panky with a man dressed like that!
EW: With Idol taping next door, have you had any interesting run-ins with the contestants?
Billy Ray: I've met most of them. They see me out there and ask for my picture. They're all so young. But it was ironic that a week ago, Sanjaya [and I] did a picture in the elevator and the next night, he got eliminated. I figured I'd be going before he does. But he's gonna possibly come do a guest spot on Hannah Montana, because he's a fan of the show. But enough about Sanjaya, let me give you a hot tip about Karina who is starting to film her next episode of Hannah Montana. She's done her first role as an actress, she has a lot of dialogue, and I've been telling everyone, she's great at it. She's an actress with instincts, like she is as a dancer, and I think she will learn quickly.
You may have already heard that the TV Guide Channel booted trashy, unpredictable Joan and Melissa Rivers (pictured) as its red-carpet hosts and replaced them with the fabulously earnest Lisa Rinna. Which is kind of a pity, really. What you may not have heard (since it only happened in a dark, highly caffeinated corner of my brain) is what went down when the elder Rivers and Rinna bumped into each other in a Walgreens parking lot in West Hollywood.
Joan: Well if it isn't Josie Bissett! Lisa: For the last time, Joan, I'm Lisa Rinna. Joan: Does it matter? Lisa: I guess not, since no legitimate network would put you on live TV again anyway. Joan: Oh, please! I've been a household name since your husband was wearing a loincloth in Conan the Barbarian. You think this little setback with the TV Guide Channel is going to stop me? Lisa: It was Clash of the Titans, Joan. And you've got to admit the time was right for you to hang up your mic. I mean, you don't even recognize half the celebrities you're interviewing on the red carpet... Joan: And who needs to? Whether it's Gwyneth Paltrow or Julia Roberts, you're gonna shove a mic under some snooty cow's nose and ask, "Who are you wearing?" Lisa: Juicy Couture tracksuit, Jimmy Choo shoes... Joan: [Howls.] Oh, Christ!
NBA Hall of Famer Clyde Drexler (pictured, with Elena Grinenko) just got dunked on by Heather Mills, and he could not be happier. (Host Samantha Harris is really happy too, because now her hands have guaranteed 24/7 control of the microphone.) I'll go out on a lengthy limb and say that Clyde's triumphant fist pump when Tom called his name was perhaps his most graceful move in the competition. He is so going golfing tomorrow.
I'm not sure what more to say about last night's results show, since most of you, the judges, the audience, the other dancers, and Clyde all wanted Clyde to go home. We could talk about Macy Gray instead. She ain't feelin' no pain. Or Louis Van Amstel, who got zero star treatment but certainly sparkled to me. Or the lovable DWTS lifer/Roxie Hart impersonator Lisa Rinna and her pack of gigolos. I wonder what brand of lipstick she uses to achieve such dramatic fullness...
I thought Heather Mills and Billy Ray Cyrus both looked ready to go home last night — anyone else?
Since Monday's night's Dancing with the Stars featured more than its share of moves lifted straight out of the Saturday Night Fever playbook, we thought we'd poll some of the evening's highest scorers about which dance-centric movies made an impression on them in their younger years. Surprisingly, no one picked Staying Alive. Go figure…
Joey Fatone
Dance Partner: Kym Johnson
Score: 25
To sum up the night: "I was trying to get in touch with the softer side, I tried to have a balance."
Favorite Dance Movie:
Joey: "Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Booglaoo. You don't even know what that movie is, do you?"
Kym: "I must have missed it.
Joey: "It's about breakdancing.
Laila Ali
Dance Partner: Maksim Chmerkovskiy (pictured, with Ali)
Score: 28
To sum up the night: "I have no problem being sexy and gymnastic."
Favorite Dance Movie:
Laila: "The Wiz. Diana Ross and Michael Jackson… [starts dancing] Ease on down, ease on down the road…"
Maksim: "That's not fair, because he's too good. Michael Jackson is my dance idol of all time. I put him up before Fred Astaire."
And the newest enrollee at the Network Crime Procedural Guest-Starring Academy for Typecasted Celebrities (frequented by Michael Gross, Chevy Chase, and, well, the list goes on and on) is…Joey Lawrence! Yes, PopWatchers, the Blossom star, most recently seen trying to untangle himself from Edyta Sliwinska's legs on last season's Dancing With the Stars (pictured), will play a serial killer who's freed on a technicality, then hunted by Gary Sinise's Mac, on the April 25 episode of CSI: NY. Talk about trying to shake off your career whoas! (Badum bum.)
Anyhow, Joey's bold move got me thinking about another Joey who could benefit from a little image makeover: Matt LeBlanc, whose post-Joey IMDB page is blanker than Sendhil Ramamurthy's facial expressions on Heroes. Seriously, I'm thinking a hunting knife, a little blood splatter, and a tense interrogation scene with Mariska Hargitay is exactly what LeBlanc needs to revitalize his post-Friends career. And look! No talking chimps! Who do you nominate for a spot at the NCPGSATC? (Yeah, that acronym is especially heinous. Please forgive.)
Home
Seems like everybody talks about TV at the office, even people who (unlike me and my co-workers) don't get paid to do so. A new survey specifies who's talking about which programs. No surprise, American Idol is the most talked-about show, popular among both men and women, and especially among workers 65 or older (ah, now we know who voted scary tattooed rocker Carly off the show). Besides AI, women like to talk about Dancing With the Stars (pictured), while men like to 
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Was it just us in the press room or was Monday's much-hyped Dancing With the Stars finale a bit lackluster? Based on 
Slezak: Hey, Annie Barrett, did you hear the big news about America's Next Top Model? Twiggy has been asked to return to the house immediately, pack her belongings, and go home.
What? DANCMSTR Len Goodman calls Marie Osmond a cougar all the time! Only now do I see the resemblance. If you're up to date on Dancing With the Stars, you know that she of the massive fan base will likely win season 5. And if you're not up to date, check out 
A few months back, I pointed out a crazy-effusive headline from the folks at Star magazine, and invited all of you to chime and offer overzealous news tidbits from your own lives. 
So, "There won't be flying in 'Dancing' finale", 
I'm talking strictly ballroom here, but there's no denying Dancing with the Stars' Melanie Brown and her partner, Maksim 
After tonight's performance show, billionaire Mark Cuban (pictured, with partner Kym Johnson) will have done which of the following? 
I love Cheryl Burke, but if Wayne Newton (pictured, with her) is still around after this week, it'll be a Danke Shame. I don't want to put more pressure on my pick to take the trophy, Helio Castroneves, but this morning, my mood brightened when I remembered that I'd be watching him dance tonight — and also, that I'd be receiving another phone call from my mother afterwards inquiring about his marital status. (Not for me, for her. And note: my parents are still together.)
Maybe they should call it "Dancing With the Cars." Two-time Indy 500 champ Helio Castroneves (pictured, with partner Julianne Hough) is also your favorite, so far, to foxtrot away with the top prize on Dancing With the Stars, according to our 
Is it okay if I root for Marie Osmond (pictured, with dance partner Jonathan Roberts) this season because I find her the least squirm-inducing of all the contestants? Argue for or against Ms. A-Little-Bit-Country below as you steel yourself for tonight's premiere of 
An avowed Dancing With the Stars fanatic known as, um, my mother unleashed a torrent of e-mail rage upon me, her unsuspecting son, in response to 
So TV Guide Network 
From EW senior writer Lynette Rice:
Dear Dancing With the Stars,
Or just The Hott? (Sorry.) Nerve.com posted your insightful Dancing With the Stars commentary of the day (because I clearly won't be writing one): 
Apolo Anton Ohno may have taken the 
Let's get ready to rumba! Reporting to you live from Dancing With the Stars (well, a few hours later — call it a West Coast tape delay), PopWatch was there at 
'Tis a sad, sad day in the life of recent Elvis impersonator Ian Ziering (pictured, with Cheryl Burke), who will never get to confess things against 
I try not to disappoint, PopWatchers, but sometimes it’s hard to be in two places at once and last night’s Idol was one of those situations. So I asked my good friend, and, yes, high school fling, Ari Karpel to be initiated into the exclusive club that is the Idol audience. And, as I’m sure you 
Unlike all the other "stars" who announce they'll be in Chicago way in advance, Blossom brother and long-lost twin of the Cracker Jack mascot Joey Lawrence waited 'til the day of. 
I wish it wasn't so, but it had to happen: On 
It was Heather Mills' last stand on Tuesday night, as the former Mrs. Paul McCartney and her partner, Jonathan Roberts, were voted off Dancing with the Stars six couples away from the finish line. Admittedly, it was a long, impressive run for Heather, who told me people ("90 percent with two left feet, 10 percent amputees") are now constantly calling her an inspiration. "Especially, the two-left people," she said. "Those who aren't confident enough to try dancing and they go, 'Come on, get it together. If she can do it, I gotta do it.'"
He may not be the best celebrity contestant of the bunch, but on 
You may have already heard that the TV Guide Channel 
NBA Hall of Famer Clyde Drexler (pictured, with Elena Grinenko) just got dunked on by Heather Mills, and he could not be happier. (Host Samantha Harris is really happy too, because now her hands have guaranteed 24/7 control of the microphone.) I'll go out on a lengthy limb and say that Clyde's triumphant fist pump when Tom called his name was perhaps his most graceful move in the competition. He is so going golfing tomorrow. 
Since 
And the newest enrollee at the Network Crime Procedural Guest-Starring Academy for Typecasted Celebrities (frequented by Michael Gross, Chevy Chase, and, well, the list goes on and on) is…
