You probably don't watch too much of the actual stand-up comedy on Comedy Central; how many more jokes about airplane food and dating woes do you need to hear in this lifetime? Still, I bet neither of those topics will come up during Russell Brand's forthcoming hour-long special for the network. Comedy Central announced today that the British comedian is taping a stand-up gig in New York City in November, to air in 2009. Whether you like or hate Brand, especially after watching his controversial performance as the host of MTV's Video Music Awards last month, you probably have a strong opinion about him, which may be more than you can say about any other comic whose stand-up routines air at odd hours on Comedy Central. Guess this helps answer the question of whether the Forgetting Sarah Marshall costar's seemingly bridge-burning turn at the VMAs would help or hurt his Stateside career. (Of course, Comedy Central is a sister network to MTV, so perhaps Viacom is just protecting its investment in Brand.) No doubt lots of people will be watching Brand's special to see who he offends or insults, or to see if there's more to him than a few minutes of calculated outrage. Will you be among them, PopWatchers? Will you make a point of watching his 2009 special, or will you make sure you have other plans?
Liberace (left) was so popular for such a long time that it's weird to think he exists now only as a pop-cultural punchline. (See the scene in 2005's Good Night, and Good Luck, where we're supposed to snicker at Edward R. Murrow's softball interview with the pianist, who suggests that he hasn't settled down yet because he hasn't found the right girl.) Maybe Steven Soderbergh's planned Liberace biopic will remedy that. I'm not sure about the casting, though: he wants Michael Douglas (right) as Liberace and Matt Damon as Scott Thorson, who famously sued the entertainer for palimony. Not sure whether the whole idea is fabulous or tragic, so I'll let you decide, PopWatchers.
With all the stories about apparent fakeryproduction enhancement at the Olympic opening ceremonies, I imagine Nigel Lythgoe reading an item like this one (about the adorable floating girl who, it seems, lip-synched her song because the real singing girl wasn't deemed cute enough) and thinking to himself: "Blimey, why didn't we do this with Kristy Lee Cook?"
Then I get another horrifying thought: What if the evil alien scientistsIdol producers really did do that with Kristy Lee Cook, and that was just the best voice they could find for her? (For all you Idolatry/Mechagodzilla fans, a trip down memory lane follows, after the jump.)
At last, a politico who's not only willing but eager to embrace a financial fiasco. Former George W. Bush aide Bradley Blakeman claims he came up with the idea for Swing Vote and has filed a lawsuit claiming damages. According to the Associated Press, the suit says Blakeman wrote a similar screenplay and sent it to future Swing Vote costar Kelsey Grammer two years ago. Grammer's rep has dismissed Blakeman's claim against the actor as meritless; the other defendants — including various Disney divisions, the Swing Vote credited screenwriters, and star/co-producer Kevin Costner — have not commented on the suit's merits.
I'm wondering the same thing I always wonder when such suits are filed, especially when they're filed after the movie has already opened to dismal box office. (Blakeman filed on Thursday, six days after the film opened.) First, the movie has earned just $12 million in 10 days of release, on a reported budget (according to Box Office Mojo) of $21 million, meaning that it's a flop from which no one is likely to profit, so what damages can Blakeman hope to see? Second, why would you want to claim credit for a film generally regarded
as mediocre? EW's Lisa Schwarzbaum gave it a C, and the movie earned a
Metacritic score of just 47. Unless, of course, Blakeman wrote a brilliant script that was not only plagiarized but butchered on its way to becoming a forgettable feature film. That'd be worth calling your lawyer over.
I'm only just now catching up to the New Yorker's fascinating first-person account of the 1950s quiz show scandal from its central figure, Charles Van Doren (pictured), who broke his media silence about the event for the first time in 50 years by publishing this article last week. As those who remember the scandal (or the account of it in Robert Redford's 1994 movie Quiz Show) may recall, Van Doren was an instructor at Columbia University who captivated the nation with his 1956 victory over Herb Stempel in NBC's primetime trivia contest Twenty-One, then parlayed his fame into a gig as a cultural correspondent at the network's Today show. Turned out that the whole competition was as scripted as wrestling, and that both Van Doren and Stempel were in on the fix. Congressional hearings were held, Van Doren lost his Ivy League teaching position and his Today job, and he spent the next half a century in unobtrusive corners of book publishing and academia.
In the New Yorker item, Van Doren goes into detail about how he was recruited to appear on Twenty-One, how the deception unraveled, how he lied to interrogators before ultimately coming clean, how temptation returned in the form of an offer to be a paid consultant on Redford's movie, how he felt about the finished film and Ralph Fiennes' performance as him, and how he learned over the years the differences between fame, celebrity, and notoriety. Two mysteries remain: why he agreed to the scam in the first place (he hints that money and fame were factors, but doesn't actually specify what made him so quick to compromise his integrity) and why he's suddenly willing to talk about it now. Still, Van Doren's account makes for a fascinating tale, especially given how much fakery there still is on television — now, the questions are about how much reality TV is actually staged by its producers — except maybe for how little we're shocked whenever we learn TV has duped us.
Thankyouthankyou, Gordon Ramsay, for providing me the opportunity to delve into one of my favorite topics: Censorship! But first, a quick test. Let's see if you can figure the lyrics to a song I've typed out in part below, leaving certain letters to the imagination.
Shut t your f---ing face, uncle f---er / You are a c---s----ing, a--licking uncle f---er.
Even if you're not familiar with South Park the movie, chances are you figured it out the cuss words, yeah? It doesn't take a PhD in comp lit to read (literally) around the lines.
Well then: I bring this point to bear on the issue of Mr. Ramsay and his notoriously dirty mouth. The hot-tempered chef is in trouble across the pond, this time for saying the name of a suggestively named product (a new energy drink, pictured, that's supposedly favored by the likes of Mark Ronson and Jay-Z) in a suggestive way on last night's episode of The F Word. Here's the transcript below, minus the suggestive language.
Ramsay: "It's got some natural energy in the P---y…go on…taste your P---y. Do you like the P---y, was that good?"
Supposedly U.K.'s Channel 4 received tons of complaints following this blue repartee. All I have to say is, come ON, people! The show is called The F Word, for f---'s sake! Foul language is Ramsay's trademark! How funny would George Carlin's "Seven Words You Can't Say on Television" routine have been had it consisted of bleeps and dashes? And how effective is bleeping, anyway? (Exhibit A: Denise Richards and her C U Next Tuesday slip o' the tongue which aired recently on E!.) I say let Ramsey say what he will, and tune out if the language rankles you. You agree?
It’s been four years since Janet Jackson shocked—shocked!—our genteel country with her infamous nip-slip at the 2004 Superbowl, prompting the FCC to slap CBS with a $550,000 penalty that sent the major networks into a puritanical tizzy. Thankfully time has given us all a little perspective on the incident, and a federal court yesterday threw out the fine, saying that the FCC had acted "arbitrarily and capriciously" (translation: stoopid) in its response. The decision is another setback for the FCC in its crusade against indecency, setting the stage for more debate about how tough the agency ought to be against stations that air accidental nudity or expletives. I tend to fall into the “It’s Just a Boob” camp, and would even argue that the only real and lasting damage from the whole debacle was the introduction of the term “wardrobe malfunction” to the pop lexicon. But what do you think, PopWatchers? Was anyone really harmed by a fleeting glimpse of Miss Jackson’s oddly accessorized bosom? And hasn’t her nose-diving career been punishment enough for us all?
Don Imus is in hot water again because of an on-air comment about race. On the jock's Monday morning radio show, sports announcer Warner Wolf was telling Imus about the long rap sheet on Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones. After hearing about his six arrests since being drafted out of Tennessee in 2005, Imus' first question was, "What color is he?" Wolf said Jones is African American and Imus responded, "There you go. Now we know." Given that this exchange came just six months after Imus' return to radio after being fired from MSNBC and CBS radio over his infamous "nappy-headed ho's" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team, Imus' critics are none too pleased; Rev. Al Sharpton called the radio host's latest remarks ''disturbing,'' and Jones himself said he would pray for Imus.
Imus responded to the hullabaloo by saying that what he meant was that Jones is being picked on because he's black, a comment that seems to satisfy his new employers at WABC and Citadel Broadcasting Corp. Vice President Phil Boyce says it's unlikely that any action will be taken against Imus, who went on the air this morning and said he was trying to "make a sarcastic point" with his remarks. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason," he said. "I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times."
Still, even if we grant that Imus isn't stupid enough to make another blatantly racist comment on-air so soon after the Rutgers remarks, how did the guy manage to take the single fact that Jones is black and extrapolate that the athlete's legal troubles must be a result of society picking on him because of that? Imus will probably be let off with a hand slap this time around, his fans chalking up the incident to overreaction by Sharpton and members of the media. But it's hard not to read something more into it. Regardless of what Imus "meant" with the Jones comment, his first reaction to hearing about the athlete's criminal record was to ask about his skin color. Perhaps the radio host's issues with race are just too ingrained for him to restrain himself in casual conversation, and perhaps it's time for him to hang up his hat for good. What do you think?
The Limewire blog has compiled a collection of YouTube clips that capture rock stars' less-than-composed moments. But before you peep, be forewarned — angry rock stars are more likely than not to use unladylike language, so very few of these are SFW. A few choice vids: Fall Out Boy's Pete Wentz gets embroiled in a mob scene that looks — and sounds — downright scary, while KISS's Paul Stanley segues from a ballad (he ends it with a sincere "God bless you all!") to, "Hey schmuck! Take the laser out one more time and I'll put it right up your ass! Promise." (The "promise" is my favorite part — as if anyone would question a threat posed by a man wearing Spandex and platform boots.)
One PG-13 exception here is Björk, captured below in an infamous 1996 incident at a Bangkok airport. She's greeted by a British journalist, who tells the pop star, "Welcome to Bangkok," and Bjork's reply is a left uppercut, followed by some hair pulling. (Björk's record label later claimed that the reporter had been pestering her for days.)
Have you ever witnessed a rock star meltdown? Or a brawl at a rock show? Share!
I just finished reading a story about some R. Kelly courtroom drama that was just ridiculous enough to sound like an outtake from the "Trapped in the Closet" sessions. Apparently, an attorney named Mike Roman (of Mike Roman and the Tellstars, natch) accosted the embattled R&B superstar in a Chicago courtroom last week, trying to pass along the demo for his CD, Cha Cha Time, while Kelly's attorneys were in a closed-door sesh. (Yes, I said sesh.) This, of course, prompted me to channel my inner 'R' (as I have done in the past) and pen a song about the entire sordid affair. And it goes a little something like this…
Man walks into a courtroom Tryin' to get through his nine-to-five About to give up on his dream Sees a man who's signed to Jive (Records, records, records…)
Man walks up to a superstar While he's waiting on the docket Asks "Sir can I trouble ya briefly?" Then proceeds to pop and lock it
"Oh Mr. Kelly! The man named R! Please take my demo, Back to your car! Then play it softly, Or blast it hard! You're gonna make me A superstar!"
[Verses 2 and 3, plus the bridge... after the jump!]
Now that I'm back in New York after Cannes, agitated discussions about the comparative merits of Gwyneth Paltrow in Two Lovers (she's pictured, left, at the movie's Cannes premiere) and whatever the new Clint Eastwood movie is going to be called have already receded in anticipation of agitated discussion about the comparative merits of You Don't Mess With the Zohan. But I have one last bit of festival scoop for you.
So I'm having dinner with a friend-and-fellow-movie-journo, who tells me with amusement about a Cannes item he had read on Gawker in which New York Times critic Manohla Dargis had stormed away from a mobbed, delayed 10:30 p.m. Cannes press screening of Two Lovers declaring she's "not going to wait an hour for f-----g [director] James Gray."
So I set about tracking down the item, which wasn't on Gawker but instead on New York Magazine's arts and entertainment blog, Vulture. Vulture had picked up the gossip from Defamer. Defamer had taken a New York Post blog item by Lou Lumenick describing a storming, cursing "major U.S. critic." Defamer had identified the critic as Manohla, only to follow up with an update reporting that Manohla had denied that she was the stormer. Then Vulture added its own update. Then Defamer joked/snarked/wondered — just yesterday — whether the critic was Rex Reed.
After the jump: the identity of the mystery critic is revealed!
"We all love the fact that [American Idol] is live," said Ryan Seacrest by way of introducing Paula Abdul's appearance on his morning radio show on Los Angeles' KIIS FM. The Idol judge was calling in, of course, to explain what happened during last night's telecast, when she critiqued both of Jason Castro's songs after he had only sung just one. Here's a breakdown of what we learned:
Before Paula explained her side of the story, Ryan gave a detailed explanation of what happened in the moments leading up to what's now been dubbed Paulagate. He said that:
1) The judges first learned they were only going to give their critiques after the Idol contestants' second songs when Ryan said as much live on air at the top of the show.
2) Halfway through Syesha Mercado's first song, exec. producer Nigel Lythgoe appeared backstage. He informed Ryan and stage manager Debbie Williams that head of Fox reality programming, Mike Darnell, had just called to inform Nigel he wanted the judges to give their comments on all the contestants' first songs at the half-way point of the show.
3) Ryan told Nigel that he was under orders from Darnell to make sure Idol didn't run long, as it would eat into Fox affiliates' evening news shows -- and at that point, the show was running three-and-a-half minutes over schedule. Nigel said he understood, but the round-one recap/critique was what Fox wanted, so out Ryan went, just as Syesha was finishing her final note.
Paula then stepped in to explain, in her typically non-linear style, that (as best we can parse back into a linear timeline of events):
1) She saw Castro (and only Castro) singing his second song, "September Morn," during dress rehearsal (after she dropped off some friends and family to watch it).
2) During the live show, the judges asked for pen and paper to write down their comments as Castro sang his first song, "Forever in Blue Jeans," so they were a bit distracted from his performance.
3) When Ryan threw the second curve-ball at the judges and brought out all five Idols for the first-half recap, Paula said, "I got lost in my notes." Basically, she was confused about what she was supposed to be talking about, and since she had seen Castro sing both his songs, she went ahead and critiqued both of them.
4) She also mentioned that she had written her notes about David Cook on the same sheet of paper as her notes about Jason Castro.
5) Simon, of course, gave up on taking notes before he'd even really begun. "It was crazy for us," said Paula. "In seven years, we've never had to do that."
6) She did not once express any remorse or concern about what her comments may have done to Castro's chances in the competition, and his confidence when he finally did get to sing "September Morn" live.
Ryan then went on to state emphatically that none of the Idol judges have any of their comments pre-scripted, a comment that Paula then seconded. The two went on to commiserate over the sometimes on-the-fly nature of
the show, before Ryan tried to wrap things up with this promise to
Paula: "I'm going to hug you and squeeze you until I make you want me
tonight." But then Paula said, almost offhand, "I'm telling people, 'I was just doing what I was told, and I did see Jason Castro in the dress rehearsal sing part of his song.'"
It seemed like she meant that she thought she was told to critique the Idols' performances, not just round one. You can listen to the entire exchange on KIIS FM's website here. Check it out for yourself, PopWatchers, and then weigh in below: Does Paula's explanation hold water (especially in light of the fact that she told Entertainment Tonight, in an interview that'll air tonight, that she mixed up her critiques for Castro and Cook)? Or is it all wet?
Last week, photos of Miley Cyrus surfaced in which she was playfully flashing her lime green bra (oh no, Hannah Montana wears a bra!). But now the tween star is stirring controversy again, this time for not wearing a bra (or a shirt, for that matter).
In photos for the June issue of Vanity Fair, taken by the renowned photographer Annie Leibovitz, the 15-year-old singer posed topless, though draped in a sheet, exposing her bare shoulders. Originally, Cyrus seemed pleased with the shots: In a caption running with the photo spread, she is quoted as saying, "I think it's really artsy. It wasn't in a skanky way. Annie took, like, a beautiful shot, and I thought that was really cool. That's what she wanted me to do, and you can't say no to Annie."
But now Cyrus is singing a different tune. In a statement released through her publicist, the singer says, "I took part in a photo shoot that was supposed to be 'artistic' and now, seeing the photographs and reading the story, I feel so embarrassed. I never intended for any of this to happen and I apologize to my fans who I care so deeply about."
Ever since he started minting his ceaseless string of hits, Akon has told every interviewer in sight — including EW — about the three years he spent in prison after being caught leading a grand theft auto ring, and what a pivotal experience that was in terms of his growth as an artist. But the professional bluff-callers at The Smoking Gun posted a lengthy piece yesterday claiming to prove that the R&B singer never did any serious time behind bars at all, nor did he commit the major crimes he's talked about in depth so many times. They say he fabricated his car-jacking exploits out of thin air, adding fictional details as he went along, and concealing his relatively humdrum past.
Is Akon really "James Frey with catchy hooks and an American Music Award," as TSG calls him? We'll see. In the meantime, here's a bigger question: Why? What would be the point of making up such a comprehensive fake backstory, knowing it could crumble at the slightest investigation? (Compare this with someone like Jay-Z, who talks a lot about how he supposedly used to deal crack in Brooklyn, but purposely keeps it all very vague, instead of saying, "I was locked up in this specific prison for this specific number of years after committing this specific crime.") TSG seems to think it's all about commercial expectations: "Because without the embellishments and fabrications, without the havoc and heartache, what separates him from every other wannabe clawing for commercial success? Why chance having your work judged solely on its merits when a little artistic license can make you so much more distinctive and marketable?" That might be part of the story, but I'm not sure it's the whole thing. After all, who's articulating those demands? Was Akon egged on by more explicit pressures from label execs with a narrow conception of how "urban" artists are supposed to have lived? Or is there another explanation entirely? You tell me...
It's unfortunate that Alicia Keys has backed away from her admittedly intemperate comments to Blender magazine. In her clarification, she says she didn't intend to blame the government for creating gangsta rap as "a ploy to convince black people to kill each other"; rather, she intended to blame the media for overhyping music that, she acknowledges, sometimes portrays the reality of certain social ills. (As politicians know, when in doubt, blame the media.)
Now, I'm no conspiracy theorist — I prefer not to attribute to malice what can more easily be blamed on stupidity, short-sighted greed, incompetence, or neglect. I don't think the government is clever or efficient enough to have invented gangsta rap as a hitmaking scheme, much less as a genocidal plot. (Also, if the music really is a plot targeted toward black people, where do all the suburban white kids buying the music fit in?) But it is worth asking how gangsta rap became so popular, to the exclusion of all other forms of rap. It wasn't just media hype. Was it all just marketing? Or was it, as Keys suggests now, because it addressed social realities that were ignored elsewhere? I'm not fully convinced by any one of these notions, but these are questions that ought to be asked, and it would be a shame if the hyperbole of Keys' earlier remarks became an excuse to avoid asking them.
If I were truly conspiracy-minded, I'd wonder if Keys' newly apologetic tone had been forced on her by her management, by someone who worries that being seen as a firebrand will make it harder for her to sell tickets to soccer moms for her elaborately staged arena tour, which kicks off this weekend. I hope that's not the case; I hope Keys isn't discouraged from sticking to the goal she outlined to Blender to write political songs in the future; if anyone can make outrage into a hummable hit, it should be Keys.
1) Two weeks after Jay Leno's cringeworthy interview with Ryan Phillippe, in which he asked the actor to relive his earliest gig (as a gay teen on One Life to Live) by offering the camera his "gayest look" (see clip below), the Tonight host has issued an apology to gay people and whoever else was offended. Which is nice, but Leno's done this before (just a couple years ago) and may well do it again, given the opportunity. Dude's giving up his chair to Conan in a year; what's he got to lose? Kudos to Avenue Q playwright Jeff Whitty, who first confronted Leno this time (and two years ago, as well), but it seems doubtful that anything is going to change, or that any Leno fans who were truly outraged will do anything as drastic as switch allegiance to Letterman.
2) A few days after New York magazine's film critic David Edelstein peed on the fresh grave of director Anthony Minghella, Edelstein is apologizing, sort of. He essentially suggested that, after Minghella's brilliant, personal, small-scale first film Truly Madly Deeply, Minghella devolved into a middlebrow hack who made overrated Oscar-bait movies (The English Patient, The Talented Mr. Ripley, Cold Mountain), for which devolution Edelstein blamed the heavy hand of then-Miramax co-chief Harvey Weinstein. In his apology, Edelstein's not backing down from his opinion of Minghella's work, but he's sorry for blaming Weinstein, though he insists that the famously arm-twisting mogul did not twist his arm to wrest this mea culpa.
Now, reasonable people can disagree on the merits of Minghella's work (if anything, argues EW's Mark Harris, Minghella didn't get enough credit for the careful crafting of his movies), and a lot of folks (a la Seinfeld's Elaine) really didn't get The English Patient and found it long-winded and boring. Of course, that's another argument against Edelstein's earlier thesis that "Harvey Scissorhands" snipped Minghella's work too eagerly in the editing room. So what Edelstein's concession seems to say is: Sorry, Harvey, that I blamed you for your recently deceased friend's hackery; apparently, he became a hack all by himself. That's supposed to sound less rude and insulting?
UPDATE: And now, it's time for my own apology, to David Edelstein, who, in the comments below, writes that I have mischaracterized his initial article and accused him of saying something he explicitly did not say. I apologize for my use of the words "hack" and "hackery," which overstate Edelstein's description of what he sees as the decline in the quality of Minghella's post-Truly work. I should have taken him at his word that he did not mean to go so far as to call Minghella a hack, just as I am willing to take Edelstein's word that no Weinstein arm-twisting prompted his apology. By the way, no arm-twisting prompted mine, either.
Have sitcom guest spots become the new career rehab stations for scandal-plagued starlets? This week, we've had news that Paris Hilton is appearing in a fantasy sequence on My Name Is Earl (airing Apr. 3), and that Britney Spears (left) is filming a spot on March 24's How I Met Your Mother (she's playing a dermatologist's assistant who develops a crush on the unsuspecting Ted, played by Josh Radnor, at right). (And we know that Lindsay Lohan has been in talks for a while with the Ugly Betty folks for a guest arc.)
I think these guest spots are a smart move for the performers. No heavy lifting, demonstration of an ability to poke fun at yourself, and just enough work, at regular hours, to prove your professionalism and dependability.
Only downside is the potential resentment by other comeback-seeking stars. According to TV Guide, Alicia Silverstone dropped out of the Spears HIMYM ep because she feared (justifiably, I'd say) that Britney would upstage her. How are scandal-free stars in need of a comeback supposed to reestablish themselves if the scandalous stars are stealing their thunder?
Show of hands: Who's looking forward to watching Britney on HIMYM or Paris on Earl? Who thinks these guest spots are a step in the right direction that will help these starlets get back on solid footing — and who thinks they're too little too late? And what other scandal-repair stunt-casting would you like to see?
This sounds to me like a recipe for disaster: According to the Hollywood Reporter, NBC is importing a British show called Who Do You Think You Are, which puts celebrities on the spot by revealing dish from their family trees. Producing the show is a celeb who, after years spent under intense media scrutiny, should know better: Lisa Kudrow (pictured). As a Kudrow character once said, "Note to self: I don't need to see that."
Listen closely to what Simon muttered after D. H. Stripper's performance last night:
Kudos (Crumpets?) to Mr. Cowell for finding a cheeky way to mention it without mentioning it. We salute him with our right thumb pressed against our forehead and all the other fingers flailing towards the general vicinity of Ryan Seacrest. As usual!
Love and Consequences (pictured, right), Margaret B. Jones' memoir about growing up and running drugs in South Central L.A., hit bookshelves on Friday. But all copies have been recalled, because the author — whose real last name is Seltzer — made the story up. She's not half-Native American. She never lived in foster care under the tutelage of a figure called "Big Mom, which means she never had a foster brother named Terrell who got shot by the Crips. Seltzer's publisher (Riverhead, an imprint of Penguin), editor, and agent hadn't a clue about any of this until Seltzer's sister (her sister!) read this over-the-top Times profile and outed her as a fraud. Margaret Seltzer actually grew up in Sherman Oaks (which O.C. fans may know as The Real Valley. Sorry). In EW's book review (published Feb. 22), Vanessa Juarez presciently wondered "if Jones embellishes the dialogue." Indeed!
The news is mind-boggling in a "How did she get away with this?!" sort of way (It's only now, after the reviews and after a Times profile, that the sister comes forward? No other alarm bells went off for anyone else during the years it took to bring the manuscript to market?), but the fabrication itself simply isn't that surprising anymore. Just last week, Misha Defonseca's Misha: A Memoire of the Holocaust Years (left), was exposed as a hoax after 11 years in print. Then there's the James Frey saga, the JT Leroy hoax, blah blah blah, etc. It's getting just as easy to believe that some gambler made the whole thing up as it is that an autobiographical account could be entirely honest.
ABC's just-announced High School Musical reality competition could be the most cynically exploitative bestest-ever reality show since Kid Nation — as long as they give the youngsters a couple of valuable pointers.
Tip No. 1: Don't let your boyfriend take nude photos of you and put them on the Internet.
Tip No. 2: Make sure the doll version of you has your new nose.
Guess the Oscar victory curse is starting early for Marion Cotillard, who is already facing backlash and demands that she return her statuette — not for anything she's done on screen, but for unearthed comments from an old interview in which she suggested that the World Trade Center collapse was engineered by its owners and was not the work of terrorists, and that the 1969 moon landing never happened. It doesn't look like the controversy is going away anytime soon, since Cotillard (via her agent) is refusing to apologize and notes that there are plenty of other places besides America where she can find film work. (Shades of Spinal Tap's manager insisting that the cancellation of a Boston gig is no big deal because "it's not a big college town.")
Now, as someone who was in New York on 9/11, yeah, I do find such comments offensive, but I'm satisfied to chalk them up to stupidity rather than malice. Won't stop me from going to see Cotillard's next movie. If every star who spouted 9/11 conspiracy theories were drummed out of showbiz, Charlie Sheen would be out of a job. So would Rosie O'Donnell. (Oh, wait...) And if everyone in Hollywood who ever did or said something that was stupid or offensive (to someone) were forced out of work, the only performer left standing would be Elle Fanning. Celebrities have the right to shoot their mouths off, and so do you. Have at it.
Blogs are buzzing today that love-to-hate-'em blondies Heidi Montag and Britney Spears have collaborated on a new track called "Dramatic." (Seriously, could that be any more of a perfect title or what?).
But before you flip — like most of us EW folk did when we heard the news — it has been rumored that Brit Brit didn't give her OK on the song's release, and that she hadn't even known about it until the song leaked. (Apparently Heidi's vocals were dubbed onto an old Britney track.)
So I ask you, P-Dubs, now that you know the (supposed) truth behind the rumor, please tell us:
Is "Dramatic" a...
A. Song that should be played on the radio B. Desperate cry for help C. Collaboration you’d like to see more of D. Candidate for a new Hills theme song E. Other
On Conan last night, funnyman and one-time illusionist Will Arnett was raving about one of his current favorite shows, Celebrity Rehabwith Dr. Drew. Then, somewhat channeling his 30 Rock character Devon Banks (if Devon Banks, pictured at right, was good at his job), Arnett suggested an excellent idea for a new series:
"What about a show called Celebrity Trainwreck? if you put celebrities in a train, and then you welded them in there, and then you had like a crossing with an 18-wheeler, and you said 'You have two minutes to get out!' I'd watch that. Who wouldn't?" No one wouldn't. I'd absolutely watch that. Watch your back, Jack Donaghy (left)!
Then again, Celebrity Trainwreck accurately describes half the shows on TV, as long as you grant yourself the option of putting the word "Celebrity" in quotes. In fact, I believe Celebrity Trainwreck is already on the air, currently going by its alternate title, Dancing With the Stars.
(FYI, Arnett also re-re-re-confirmed that Arrested Development peeps are "in talks" for a movie. What a fun, sexy time for them!)
Who would you want to place in the Celebrity Trainwreck subway car? Besides Subway Jared, who is already sitting there, wolfing down a 6-inch turkey.
In case you missed it today, Jimmy Kimmel has decided he's not going to take his girlfriend Sarah Silverman's cheating
lying down:
The attention to detail is astounding, as is the amount of sheer star power that Kimmel manages to tap (pun intended). The cake, delivered in a ''FEX'' box, makes me giggle almost as much as Brad Pitt's lecherous grin. (How many times did you have to watch it before you realized that Pitt was the FEX delivery guy? I'm not going to lie -- I was too awed by Affleck's sartorial blunder bravery to notice until a third viewing.) I don't know how Sarah can compete -- Kimmel definitely seems to have Hollywood's sympathy vote, with more stars joining in a chorus of support (Harrison Ford, Cameron Diaz, Christina Applegate, Joan Jett,
Macy Gray, Robin Williams, Don Cheadle, Huey Lewis, Josh
Groban, Rebecca Romijn, McLovin, among others) than seemingly attended last night's Oscars.
What do you think, PopWatchers? Are you engaged by this public display of faux-wanton behavior and breathlessly awaiting the next installment? Or are you just hoping the "paramours" take their private affairs offline?
George Michael's memoir, currently untitled, will be published in fall 2009. His manager has said, "George has promised HarperCollins a no-holds-barred biography, and it's certain to be just that." Okay, then. Let's help George out by finishing the following sentences: • If you want me to buy this book, you'll need to seriously dish about that little incident in the park (brilliant parody on Extras, by the way) AND ... • If I were you, I'd title the book ...
The profanity police at the FCC have expressed much concern over the airing of dirty words on live TV (think Bono's brief expletive during his Golden Globes acceptance speech a few years back), but two viral videos that made the rounds yesterday make me wonder if the commission's attention isn't misdirected. Both contained utterances by Potty-Mouthed White Ladies of a Certain Age (henceforth known by the acronym PMWLoaCA), namely, Diane Keaton and Katie Couric. Keaton casually dropped an f-bomb while admiring Diane Sawyer's lips during an interview on Good Morning America. Couric's outburst of five s-words in rapid succession, made while anchoring the New Hampshire primary coverage last week for CBS News, didn't air, but her words were caught on camera and satellite feed, and ended up in the hands of Harry Shearer at MyDamnChannel.
Now, I suppose one could look at these PMWLoaCA videos and enjoy their depictions of Keaton and Couric as stars who can be refreshingly human when they let their guard down, but the Federal government may not be so cavalier about such outbursts, not when the ears of impressionable children are at stake. Clearly, these clips demonstrate that the FCC needs to spend less time worrying about the utterances of musicians at awards shows and devote more scrutiny to the PMWLoaCA crowd. Who knows what these brazen hussies will say next?
Clips of the offending moments are posted below; both are obviously NSFW. Here's Keaton:
Call me obtuse, but I still can't get a handle on why I should be interested in the steroids scandal. Sure, I'm a bigger pop culture fanatic than sports nut, but it didn't clarify anything for me to learn that Jason Priestley's name was mentioned tangentially in connection with the story. Now, according to an investigation by the Albany Times-Union, several other stars are accused of buying steroids: 50 Cent (pictured), Mary J. Blige, Wyclef Jean, Timbaland, and Tyler Perry. (Talking to the New York Times, Blige's rep has denied the Times-Union's allegations.)
Even if the allegations are true, what's the big deal? None of the celebs is accused of breaking the law, but are we supposed to be shocked to learn that musicians might be injecting dangerous substances into their bodies? (As for Perry: Well, he does like to dress in drag, but I don't think hormone injections are the reason.) And while the scandal probably won't help sales of Fiddy's vitamin water, it's not likely to harm any of the musicians' public images, as this Times commentary piece notes. Though I do love the Times' headline: "Jeepers, Rappers, Where’d You Get Those Arms and Torsos?" Jeepers!
Help me, PopWatchers: Explain why I should care if hip-hoppers are juiced. And would you think any less of them if they were?
If Barack Obama (pictured, right) wins the presidency, he may have the most powerful woman in the pop-culture universe to thank. No, not Oprah; Seven-of-Nine of the Borg collective. On the heels of Obama's victory in the Iowa caucuses last week (and before his second-place finish in the New Hampshire primary last night), the Wisconsin Policy Research Institute reminds us that Obama owes his current high profile in part to Star Trek: Voyager's Jeri Ryan (left). Without her (and her apparent violation of Star Trek's Prime Directive, the law against meddling in the internal affairs of other civilizations), he might still be a little-known state senator toiling away in Springfield, Illinois.
In 2004, Jack Ryan, the actress' ex-husband, was the Republican candidate for the U.S. Senate from Illinois. Then his divorce records became public, including allegations by Jeri that he'd pressured her to have public sex in swingers clubs in various cities. Ryan denied the allegations but dropped out of the race a few days later. The Republicans recruited former MSNBC host Alan Keyes to run in Ryan's place. Obama defeated him in a landslide, earning himself a U.S. Senate seat and a prominent public platform from which to launch his presidential campaign.
Which just goes to show: the Borg remain all-powerful. Resistance is futile.
This whole baseball steroids scandal baffles and bewilders me — how can a pop-culture geek like yours truly get a handle on it? Hat tip, then, to our corporate siblings over at Sports Illustrated's Extra Mustard, who gave me a point of entry via Jason Priestley (pictured). Sure, the actor's mention in association with this saga is tenuous and tangential, but Extra Mustard helpfully reminds us that that the connection goes a wee bit deeper, with Barry Bonds having appeared on Beverly Hills 90210 back in the day (see clips here and here). If any of you, dear readers, can find another pop-cultural angle to help explain this mess to me, let me know below.
This comes from the British press and a member of the Jackson family, so there may be more spin here than in a Hanukkah dreidl, but make of it what you will: Jermaine Jackson has reportedly told the BBC that he and Michael and the rest of the Jackson 5 are planning a reunion tour next year. Assuming that the sibs can actually get their act together and take it on the road — I mean, we've heard this before, haven't we? — I'm excited by the prospect of a Jackson 5 tour for two reasons: First, it could actually be really great, seeing a bunch of born showmen do what they do best, in the only context that ever really worked for all of them. Second, it could be an utter trainwreck, for all the obvious and sordid reasons — and that could be even more entertaining.
Show of hands: Who among you would buy tickets to a J5 reunion show? And would you go because you're hoping for "Victory" or for "Torture"?
Sometime last week, the sock (that's right, a sock) worn by the cameraman whose foot Britney allegedly ran over was reportedly sold on eBay for more than $1,000. Disappointed you missed your chance to bid? No worries, as celebrity paraphernalia is never in short supply. This week, you can purchase the actual Mercedez-Benz convertible driven (and crashed) by Lindsay Lohan (pictured) for a mere $120,000. Behind the wheel of this dream ride, you'll see the world the way we imagine LiLo sees it, through cracked glass. Don't let your current anonymity put the anti-lock brakes on your budding celebrity: buy this car today, sit back, and set the cruise control for your own road trip of fame, misfortune, and frequent traffic-law citations.
Okay, I wouldn't break my bank account to buy Lindsay's car. But I'll admit, eBay has quite an addictive quality, and I find myself wondering if, perhaps, I really need a personalized Patrick Dempsey screen print pillowcase. Or considering where I'd display a $400 bust of Harrison Ford as the legendary Indiana Jones. Or deciding if I'd use a Fight Club bar of soap for practical or decorative purposes. My own fascination notwithstanding, I've never actually bought anything off eBay, but I'm wondering, what's your biggest entertainment-themed purchase? Do you look at your life-sized wax replica of Wayne Newton and think that maybe you should have saved your money for something a little more practical? Like food? Or rent? Or are you very happy with your decision to get that Star Trek Worf Starfleet wrist lamp?
Forbes is out with its annual list of the top-earning dead celebrities, and while there are few surprises (once again, Elvis is the King of beyond-the-grave cash generators), a few things did strike me. First, the Beatles must have received a huge payoff when they settled their longstanding suit against Apple Computers earlier this year, big enough to propel John Lennon and George Harrison into the top five with $44 million and $22 million, respectively. (I don't think the bulk of that came from the Cirque du Soleil show, do you?) Second, I didn't realize that Albert Einstein gets a cut of all the Baby Einstein merch. Dude really was a genius.
Finally, Forbes notes the debut on the list of Steve McQueen (pictured), thanks to some post-mortem endorsement deals. The appeal to advertisers of a dead celeb, Forbes observes, is that they can't get involved in embarrassing scandals. I think this is overly optimistic. If the technology exists to reanimate them for commercial appearances, it won't be long before dead stars can be reanimated to participate in contemporary scandals. Just watch: it won't be long before Britney Spears bears a child fathered by the cloned DNA of McQueen, whose estate will then sue for paternity, reasoning that even a deceased celebrity with a steady income is a better parent than Britney.
The sock of the cameraman whose foot was run over by Britney Spears is on eBay. The current bid is only $640, but I'm not gonna bite. I mean, seriously, it doesn't even come with its mate.
Happy birthday to Ty Pennington (left), host of Extreme Makeover
Home Edition, a popular show that (from what I can gather) offers pimped-out
mansions to folks who've survived unspeakable crises. It's also a show that
makes me cringe and hiss at the television whenever I stumble across its last
four or five minutes, right before Desperate Housewives airs. Maybe it's all
the screaming (I hate when crowds scream on Today and Good Morning America, for
what it's worth). Maybe it's all the tears and the swelling music and
Pennington's gravelly "Goooood morrrrrning Plattsburghs!" (Hsssss!)
Maybe it's that I can't shake the feeling that these families are, no matter
what they gain from the show, having their personal tragedies exploited for
ratings points and ad dollars.
Whatever the reason, I truly wish Extreme
Makeover Home Edition didn't make me feel so ornery, that I could react to it
with the same unflinching indifference I feel for The Unit, and Deal or No
Deal, and all the other shows that I'll never, ever watch. But my extreme
loathing of Extreme Makeover, while irrational, is also quite real, and every
once in a while, it makes me feel like a bad person.
Slezak: *#&%@* this @*#&%@ piece-of-crap program! Conscience: What is WRONG with you? Be nice to the quadriplegic lady and her
cancer-surviving triplets! Slezak: [Grumble.] Conscience: Seriously, dude, you need to put down the
remote and go do some volunteer work. Slezak: Okay, as soon as I clear up some space on my DVR. Conscience: [Sighs deeply.] Slezak: What? It's about to delete Women's Murder Club!
That Eva Longoria online sex video you've been hearing rumors about? Doesn't exist. She did appear in a mock online sex video — it's a spoof playing on Funny or Die that pairs her with "Perry Hilton" (actually, Dumb and Dumberer star Eric Christian Olsen, who has several other "Perry Hilton" videos on that site), in a parody of Paris Hilton's notorious night-vision sex tape. Watch it below (don't worry, it's totally SFW), and see if you agree with me that it confirms two things: that Longoria is still the unsung comic ace of the Desperate Housewives cast, and that, if this acting thing doesn't pan out, she's got a future as a gymnast.
Also, Disney Channel's tween pop queen Miley "Hannah Montana" Cyrus? Not pregnant, says the 14-year-old's publicist, who calls that rumor "ridiculous and completely untrue." Said rumor supposedly started in an interview with J-14 magazine that was posted online, but J-14 says the posted article was faked by unknown hoaxsters.
In both instances, PopWatch breathes a sigh of relief because, like Aunt Sassy says, we don't need to see that.
Did anyone happen to catch Oprah yesterday? She spoke with Fred and Kim Goldman — father and sister of the late Ron Goldman — and Denise Brown, sister of the late Nicole Brown Simpson, about the publishing of O.J. Simpson's memoir, If I Did It. (Pictured, left to right, are Fred and Kim Goldman, Oprah Winfrey, and Simpson prosecutors Marcia Clark and Christopher Darden. Brown appeared separately, in a taped segment.)
The host was very straightforward about her thoughts on the book: "I am not pretending that this forum, this television show, doesn't
sell books," Oprah said. "That's what we do, you know? We promote
people's books. I don't want to be in the position to promote this book
because I, too, think it's despicable.... I'm all for it being published,
but I personally wouldn't want to be in a position to encourage people
to buy this book."
Now that Oprah has sworn off reading the book, the rest of America will likely follow her lead, right? We all know Oprah can put a book on the map, but PopWatchers, do you think can she kill one, too?
I was a little surprised last week by how quickly my post in defense of Justin Timberlake's musical oeuvre turned into a fierce comments-section debate over JT's precise role in Janet Jackson's notorious Super Bowl '04 "wardrobe malfunction." I probably shouldn't have been, given that EW named Nipplegate the No. 1 celeb scandal of the past quarter-century just last month, but still, I hadn't quite realized that people still felt so strongly about that subject three years after the fact.
Turns out you're not the only ones mulling over that particular debacle at the moment. CBS is in court this week re-appealing the $550,000 fine that the Federal Communications Commission slammed them with for broadcasting the notorious split-second slip. I'm rooting for the network all the way. That's mostly because I'm never comfortable with moralistic Washington bureaucrats regulating pop culture, but the FCC's arguments this time around are just laughable. "FCC lawyer Eric Miller argued that CBS was indifferent to the risk that 'a highly sexualized performance' might cross the line," the Associated Press reports. "Timberlake sang the lyrics, 'Gonna have you naked by the end of this song,' and that's exactly what happened, Miller said." Well, gee, it's a good thing that Timberlake hadn't written his 2006 songs "Chop Me Up" or "LoveStoned" yet — just imagine the rampant on-air violence and drug use CBS would have been forced to anticipate with lyrical images like those in the mix!
The network's lawyers, of course, say they did everything they could to prevent any on-air mishaps. Do you buy that argument? More importantly, have your feelings on Nipplegate changed at all over the past three years? I'm curious whether anyone's outrage has cooled — or if there's anyone who's actually grown more offended by the incident with time. So how about it?
Slezak's Inner Cynic: Holy cow! Did you hear the news? Those nude photos of that High School Musical chick Vanessa Hudgens (pictured, left, in HSM 2) that were floating around the Internet yesterday — they're for real! Slezak: I did indeed. The poor kid is only 18. I feel really bad for her. Slezak's Inner Cynic: Yeah, but doesn't the whole thing make you a little suspicious? Slezak: How so? Slezak's Inner Cynic: Like, what if she leaked the photos herself? Slezak: Inner cynic! You are officially not a good person. Slezak's Inner Cynic: Oh come on, Pollyanna, think about it: High School Musical is the biggest thing happening on TV and the Billboard charts these days, but practically nobody over the age of 15 has watched it. If girlfriend wants to take her fame to the next level, what better way than through a naked-photo scandal? I mean, that Efron kid already bared his abs on the cover of Rolling Stone! Slezak: But Hudgens doesn't need the publicity. Why would she do anything that could alienate her tweener audience? Slezak's Inner Cynic: You want to appeal to adults, you have to prove you're an adult yourself. Slezak: You better settle down, Inner Cynic, or I'm not letting you watch anything on E! this weekend. It'll be all PBS, all the time.
I'm trying to decide which of these book brouhahas I should get worked up about, if either. First, there's Barnes & Noble reversing the decision it made nine days ago and announcing it'll stock If I Did It after all. B&N says it's bowing to customers' demands that it carry O.J. Simpson's roman à slay, which is sad enough, but at least the retailer says it will sell the book without actively marketing it, so perhaps we should be grateful for that small concession to taste.
Then there's the settlement of the Turcotte family's lawsuit against Augusten Burroughs (pictured) for portraying them as horrifying loons in Running With Scissors. Both sides are claiming victory and vindication. The family is apparently getting a cash payment and, in future editions, a big apology on the acknowledgments page and the word "memoir" replaced with "book" in the author's note. Burroughs, however, still gets to use the word "memoir" on the cover and doesn't have to retract anything he wrote. (His explanation for the family's umbrage at Scissors: that they simply remember events differently from the way he recalls them.) Now, I don't know what was true and what wasn't in Scissors, and this settlement agreement seems to blur that distinction beyond all hope of clearing up readers' befuddlement. It's the sort of decision that would make Oprah tear her hair out and James Frey jealous.
Can you make sense of any of this, PopWatchers? Is it worth getting outraged, or should I just throw up my hands, shrug my shoulders, and go read a good, obviously-made-up novel?
Home
You probably don't watch too much of the actual stand-up comedy on Comedy Central; how many more jokes about airplane food and dating woes do you need to hear in this lifetime? Still, I bet neither of those topics will come up during Russell Brand's forthcoming hour-long special for the network. Comedy Central announced today that the British comedian is taping a stand-up gig in New York City in November, to air in 2009. Whether you like or hate Brand, especially after watching his controversial performance as the host of MTV's Video Music Awards last month, you probably have a strong opinion about him, which may be more than you can say about any other comic whose stand-up routines air at odd hours on Comedy Central. Guess this helps answer the question of whether the Forgetting Sarah Marshall costar's seemingly bridge-burning turn at the VMAs would help or hurt his Stateside career. (Of course, Comedy Central is a sister network to MTV, so perhaps Viacom is just protecting its investment in Brand.) No doubt lots of people will be watching Brand's special to see who he offends or insults, or to see if there's more to him than a few minutes of calculated outrage. Will you be among them, PopWatchers? Will you make a point of watching his 2009 special, or will you make sure you have other plans?
Liberace (left) was so popular for such a long time that it's weird to think he exists now only as a pop-cultural punchline. (See the scene in 2005's 
With all the stories about apparent 
At last, a politico who's not only willing but eager to embrace a financial fiasco. Former George W. Bush aide Bradley Blakeman claims he came up with the idea for Swing Vote and has filed a lawsuit claiming damages. According to the 
I'm only just now catching up to the New Yorker's fascinating first-person account of the 1950s quiz show scandal from its central figure, 
Thankyouthankyou, Gordon Ramsay, for providing me the opportunity to delve into one of my favorite topics: Censorship! But first, a quick test. Let's see if you can figure the lyrics to a song I've typed out in part below, leaving certain letters to the imagination.
It’s been four years since Janet Jackson shocked—shocked!—our genteel country with her infamous nip-slip at the 2004 Superbowl, prompting the FCC to slap CBS with a $550,000 penalty that sent the major networks into a puritanical tizzy. Thankfully time has given us all a little perspective on the incident, and a federal court yesterday 
Don Imus is in hot water again because of an on-air comment about race. On the jock's Monday morning radio show, sports announcer Warner Wolf was telling Imus about the long rap sheet on Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam "Pacman" Jones. After hearing about his six arrests since being drafted out of Tennessee in 2005, Imus' first question was, "What color is he?" Wolf said Jones is African American and Imus responded, "There you go. Now we know." Given that this exchange came just six months after Imus' return to radio after being fired from MSNBC and CBS radio over his infamous "nappy-headed ho's" comment about the Rutgers women's basketball team, Imus' critics are none too pleased; Rev. Al Sharpton called the radio host's latest remarks ''disturbing,'' and Jones himself said he would pray for Imus.
I just finished reading 
Now that I'm back in New York after 
"We all love the fact that [American Idol] is live," said Ryan Seacrest by way of introducing Paula Abdul's appearance on his morning radio show on Los Angeles' KIIS FM. The 
Last week, photos of Miley Cyrus surfaced in which she was playfully flashing her lime green bra (oh no, Hannah Montana wears a bra!). But now the tween star is stirring controversy again, this time for not wearing a bra (or a shirt, for that matter). 
Ever since he started minting his ceaseless string of hits, Akon has told every interviewer in sight — including 
It's unfortunate that Alicia Keys has backed away from her admittedly 
Have sitcom guest spots become the new career rehab stations for scandal-plagued starlets? This week, we've had news that 
This sounds to me like a recipe for disaster: According to the 
Love and Consequences (pictured, right), Margaret B. Jones' memoir about growing up and running drugs in South Central L.A., hit bookshelves on Friday. But all copies have been recalled, because the author — whose real last name is Seltzer — made the story up. She's not half-Native American. She never lived in foster care under the tutelage of a figure called "Big Mom, which means she never had a foster brother named Terrell who got shot by the Crips. Seltzer's publisher (Riverhead, an imprint of Penguin), editor, and agent hadn't a clue about any of this until Seltzer's sister (her sister!) read 
ABC's just-announced 
Guess the Oscar victory curse is starting early for Marion Cotillard, who is already facing 
Blogs are buzzing today that love-to-hate-'em blondies Heidi Montag and Britney Spears have collaborated on a new track called 
On Conan last night, funnyman and 
Call me obtuse, but I still can't get a handle on why I should be interested in the steroids scandal. Sure, I'm a bigger pop culture fanatic than sports nut, but it didn't clarify anything for me to learn that 
If Barack Obama (pictured, right) wins the presidency, he may have the most powerful woman in the pop-culture universe to thank. No, not Oprah; Seven-of-Nine of the Borg collective. On the heels of Obama's victory in the Iowa caucuses last week (and before his second-place finish in the New Hampshire primary last night), the 
This whole baseball steroids scandal baffles and bewilders me — how can a pop-culture geek like yours truly get a handle on it? Hat tip, then, to our corporate siblings over at Sports Illustrated's 
This comes from the British press and a member of the Jackson family, so there may be more spin here than in a Hanukkah dreidl, but make of it what you will: 
Sometime last week, the sock (that's right, a sock) worn by the cameraman whose foot Britney allegedly ran over was reportedly sold on eBay for more than $1,000. Disappointed you missed your chance to bid? No worries, as celebrity paraphernalia is never in short supply. This week, you can purchase the actual 
Forbes is out with its annual 
Happy 
That Internet sex video allegedly starring Meg White (pictured)? 
Did anyone happen to catch Oprah yesterday? She spoke with Fred and Kim Goldman — father and sister of the late Ron Goldman — and Denise Brown, sister of the late Nicole Brown Simpson, about the publishing of O.J. Simpson's memoir, 
I was a little surprised last week by how quickly 
Slezak's Inner Cynic: Holy cow! Did you hear the news? Those nude photos of that High School Musical chick Vanessa Hudgens (pictured, left, in HSM 2) that were floating around the Internet yesterday — they're for real!
I've met Owen Wilson just once, when I interviewed him in 2004 for The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, and while I fo