It's not your imagination: Everyone on reality shows says "I'm not here to make friends." (At some time or another, many also claim to "step up," and I predict the continued popularity of "throw [someone] under the bus.") Anywho:
That headline is just about all the excitement I can muster up for America's Next Top Model cycle 12, which ended last night with whatever is a greasy runway's aural equivalent of a "bang." I won't spoil the winner here, but I will admit that when her name popped up on the You're A Cover Girl: It's All Downhill From Here screen, I realized with amazement that I'd never noticed exactly how it was spelled. That pretty much sums up the season.
It wouldn't be too spoiler-y to revel in the Allison vs. Teyona (pictured, bottom) runway-show ridiculata, though. The hair people totally sabotaged Teyona's weave on purpose so she'd have to whip all three feet of it around and around (pictured, top) like the fabulous paint-wrestler she'd dreamed of being since she was a little girl. That was the best part of the runway spectacle; the non-competing models flailing lifelessly in a heap with "We don't have to play Showgirls too, right?" faces ran a close second. This was almost as fierce a challenge as the "real. live. ANIMAL BLOOD!" photo shoot on EW.com's famed America's Next Top Doll.
Thoughts on the finale, PopWatchers? They better be fierce. We need to see more of your personality.
Paulina Porizkova, our favorite judge and sound bite machine on America's Next Top Model, revealed on last night's Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson that she was fired from the CW reality show -- over the phone on her birthday. Watch the clip below. The good stuff starts around 3:05, when Craig refers to Tyra Banks as a barrel of laughs to work with and Paulina says, "I'm sure she can be." (That's our girl!)
"The reason I was told I was fired was because it seemed that America's [Next] Top Model had gotten too fat, and they needed to cut some fat and the fat was me," she said, adding later, "It could have been either that or my gigantic huge ego. Which I wasn't aware of before I was told by the producers that I had an ego problem."
That sounds pretty bitter to us, but when Craig suggested that there was a rivalry between Paulina and Tyra Banks, she insisted that there wasn't. "I really believe that they just felt like they didn't need me, which of course, they don't. So that's okay."
Can the show survive without Paulina? Yes. But it won't be as enjoyable. Miss J will need to start speaking at panel (and not in a bird voice). Tyra will have to find time in her busy schedule to do more teaches. Nigel Barker will have to pretend that those two are funny all by himself.
What would you like to see Paulina do next? (Bravo, don't you have something for her?) And who are you rooting for on tonight's Top Model season finale? (The least inspiring final three ever?)
I begin with a blanket statement: Anyone with a job in this economy is grateful. This is not about complaining, it's about acknowledging a situation and asking who else is experiencing it....
Recently, I developed an increased appreciation for an actor who shall not be named because his mother gets his Google Alerts. There's something on his résumé that I've never seen, and I'm told that I'll like him even more when I do. I'm refusing to watch it. Why? Because if I do, I'll want to spend hours Googling and YouTubing every interview he's ever done to decide whether or not he's worth all the hours I've just spent Googling and YouTubing him -- and I do not have that kind of spare time. This is a first for me: Denying myself the pleasure of a celebrity crush because I've got too much work to do???
I started thinking about the other ways I've cut back on entertainment -- not because of money, but because of time. I realized I've changed the way I watch American Idol and Dancing With the Stars this season: I now only watch the performances, no judges' critiques or scores. With America's Next Top Model, I just watch the photo shoots and panel reveals, no teaches or house fights. (I even fast-forward through the deliberation and find out who was eliminated by seeing whose picture disappears from the group shot at the end of the episode.) And as for those three-a-day NCIS repeats I've been recording on USA to catch up, no more. I cannot keep fighting a daily space war with my DVR. (I know you're 86 percent full -- of NCIS episodes that I haven't been able to watch for weeks).
Anyone else finding themselves cutting back on entertainment (or crushes) because they're spending more hours at work? Or what creative measures have you taken to fit it all in?
I'm a huge fan of the nonstop camp rollercoaster that is America's Next Top Model. But this season, er, cycle -- the show's 12th -- I've found myself building up a DVR backlog, and when I finally got a chance to catch up this weekend, I had to (blasphemy alert!) fight the urge to hit the fast-forward button on my DVR. It's not that there aren't contestants to love (Aminat!!) and loathe (Sandra, Natalie), it's just that the show's formula of mentally and emotionally torturing pretty young ladies has grown suddenly stale. Which got me thinking about five ways Tyra & Co. can freshen things up for Cycle 13. Read on, then make your own suggestions for reviving Top Model in the comments section below!
1. Turn the contact sheets over to the contestants and let them choose their own "best shots." Think about it: In its current incarnation, Tyra and the producers have way too much power to script and manipulate the outcome of the competition. "Here's your best shot" could easily be translated as "here's your worst shot because we've determined your story arc is ovah!" Why not let the show's dim-witted mannequins have a larger hand in determining their own fates? Especially if it allows us to see a weekly range of pho-tos -- the fierce, the hideous, the ones that fail to capture this season's keyword of "tension!" -- for every girl in the competition.
2. Make sure there's something at stake at each week's photo shoot. Come on, there are hundreds of magazines, Web sites, clothing labels, and retailers that would kill for some free publicity. Instead of draping the models with meat-kinis (remember THAT one?) or making them try to scale the Great Wall of China, why not have 'em compete to land actual spots in editorial or advertising spreads, and thereby see on a week-to-week basis who's got the goods to survive in the real world. It'd sure beat having the week's winning shot displayed as digital art in the Top Model house. (Bunk!)
3. Replace the man at Tyra's right hand -- at the judges' table, that is. Keeping it really real, Miss J and her growing bowtie simply isn't cutting it when it comes to delivering the funny -- or the pertinent critiques. Why not bring back Nolé Marin, who slayed during deliberations in the March 25 episode.
4. Turn Paulina into Top Model's Tim Gunn. Seriously! She's smart, she's funny, she actually knows a thing or two about modeling. Bring Paulina on to the set to help advise clueless contestants as they try to smile with their eyes while fighting back the tears that result from listening to Mr. Jay's patented brand of bitchery.
5. And finally…bring on Princess Thursday! (If you don't know who that is, then it's time to familiarize yourself with America's Next Top Doll…after the jump. And fret not, ANTD fans, the long-awaited series finale will be filmed when Idol season is over!)
Gloriously, last week LOGO greenlit a second season of RuPaul's Drag Race that'll air in early 2010. The collective gays here at EW couldn't be happier at the prospect of another installment: bigger wigs, higher heels, more lip syncing for your life!
Like any good girl on the go, you gotta stay fresh: Bigger wigs, higher heels, more lip syncing for your life! Oh wait, I already said that... But seriously, we've got some ideas. Here are nine suggestions that should keep TV's best—okay, only—search for the next drag superstar on top for season 2:
1. Ramp up the guest judges. There were some great guest arbiters in the first season: Michelle Williams of Destiny's Child; Robin Antin, creator of the Pussycat Dolls; and Lucy Lawless, to name a few. Keep it coming. Might we suggest Candis Cayne, Cher, and Liza for season 2? Okay, that might be reaching a bit too far towards the stars. The point is, though: Keep the momentum going in this department. Find the best gay/drag icons you can. But don't ramp the judges up too much. (We're soooo picky, right?) It wouldn't be a drag competition if there weren't some measure of tragedy to the folks who sign on to help Ru tell the latest ousted queen to "sashay away."
2. Now, really use those guest judges. Sadly, we only saw a few minutes of Michelle, Robin, and Lucy during their stints on the show. Next go 'round, how
about a little more action from the folks who fill this role? Involve
them in a challenge at least. And, if a guest does come in to help, make damn sure they're on the judging panel, too. Question: Why was Charo helping the queens in a challenge, yet Maria
Conchita Alonso then judging them? Same goes for Tori Spelling and hubby
Dean, who showed up during the Oprah challenge, yet were sadly absent
from the panel.
3. Take Santino and Merle out of the judging room. In the finale, we saw permanent judges, fashion journalist Merle Ginsburg and ex-Project Runway
villain Santino Rice, doling out the week's challenge to Rebecca
Glasscock, Bebe Zahara Benet, and Nina Flowers. And we liked it—it's
fun to see these two wonky judges out from behind their oh-so-powerful
table. So, how about we put Merle and Santino in the work room
with the ladies a bit more? Maybe out on a photo shoot, giving advice?
Offering their two cents as the queens put their look together for the
week? Yes, yes, and yes. Please.
No, it wasn't a massive fit over the chopping of hair or a fight over a stolen granola bar. This time around, drama stemming from the CW's America's Next Top Model came from an audition being held in New York City on Saturday. Six would-be contestants were injured and three arrests were made on the scene after a stampede occurred when Tyra Banks appeared and shouted into a megaphone, "I want to see you smile with your eyes, ladies! Smile... with...your...eyes." Just kidding! Ms. Banks wasn't there, but that sounded pretty feasible, didn't it?
It's still unclear what caused the mass hysteria -- published reports suggest
lack of organization and nerves (a few girls had slept overnight in sleeping bags just to keep their spot in line), and a panic that exploded when someone screamed that an overheated car nearby was on fire. Whatever the cause, the open casting call was immediately canceled and dreams of becoming a Cover Girl were crushed, at least for now. "We are concerned by the events that occurred Saturday," said Banks and ANTM exec producer Ken Mok in a joint statement.
"At this time, we still don't know all the details of what happened or
what triggered the incident. We appreciate the efforts of the NYPD and
will assist them in any way possible in this matter."
PopWatchers, take a look at the video taken at the scene below and let us know your immediate response. I'll go first: Holy s---, thank God I wasn't anywhere near that street when that happened!
Last night's long-ass premiere of America's Next Top Model, Cycle 12: Goddesses and Monsters wasn't so much agonizing as soooooo very predictable. Miss J. wore a bonnet. Jay Manuel's entire face had been spray painted on in the wrong shade. Meaty and delicious Spartan gladiators showed up all the way from the fifth century B.C. to flank Tyra on an optical-illusion "bridge." A historic brownstone was gutted, fumigated for any pesty crumbs of authenticity, and upholstered with terrifying billboards of Tyra. It was everything we've come to expect from Top Model, and went down like a cold lump of congealed mac-and-cheese after three days in the fridge.
Still. There was that out-of-nowhere enormous spread of food featuring about six turkeys that did catch me totally off-guard. Plus, even brick-like mac and cheese technically qualifies as comfort food! So somehow, inexplicably, all is well. Commenter "peaches" put it best, last night: "Slop Model has been in da crapper for a few years. Tyra is intolerable and the competition is a total sham. And yet I'm watching it again!" Bingo. (Speaking of which, look forward to a photo shoot involving Bingo and other retirement home games in cycle 71, when Tyra takes it upon herself to illuminate America to the prejudice against old ladies. "You've got to find the fierceness in those used dentures. Root around in there and get it, gurrrrl! Because that's what a top model must.do.)
I'm one of the biggest disgusted-yet-devoted America's Next Top Model fans around, and until a few days ago, I had NO CLUE that season, excuse me, cycle 12 premiered tonight -- one week later than originally scheduled. As cycle 8's Dionne would say, What the hay-ul? I miss being inundated by over-the-top promos of Tyra whipping her giant alien head to the camera! Ty-Ty's not even in the recent promos, and the girls aren't even in 3-D! It's almost like they're paper...DOLLS.
Who's to blame for a stunned nation's lack of awareness? The CW hasn't aired a new episode of anything since about 1932, so I'd go with: The CW. Besides, the entire series has seemed so tired lately. Quick, someone wake up contestant Aminat (pictured, left) before 8.
The worst part about this situation is the self-loathing -- the DVR's also picking up Bravo's season 2 premiere of Make Me a Supermodel at 10, and the thought "I'll watch the modeling shows before Lost" just crossed my mind. I am HORRIFIED. As Slezak would say, I should be taken out back with a can of tuna.
Who's watching Top Model tonight? We'll post a recap tomorrow. I'm thinking a clip show of all Miss J, because does it even matter anymore? Don't answer that.
Hoping to get the scoop on the story behind America's Next Top Model's decision to fill season 13 with contestants 5'7" and under, PopWatch phoned the show's long-time casting director, Michelle Mock-Falcon, and asked what gives. Haven't we been told for 11 seasons (the 12th cycle premieres March 4 on The CW), that short is bad (hence 5'7" being the show's previous minimum height requirement)? Why the sudden "short cycle"?
"Since the show started, we've always had girls under 5'7" asking and begging, quite frankly, Tyra to please give them a chance," she says. "I mean, she would get stopped in the street, in restaurants, anywhere, by girls asking how they can do it being as short as they are. We've been thinking about it for a while now, what a great opportunity to give these girls that opportunity. The show is all about opportunity...." But will these girls seriously have the opportunity to work after the show ends? "Kate Moss is a prime example," she says. "Tyra knows a stream of supermodels that are under that size and are very successful, so she said, 'Why not?' It's gonna be all about the face and the package as a whole." (Since we've long stopped expecting any model on this show to actually be "super," we didn't press her.)
As we've already noted, the Top Model application does say, "Producers reserve the right to make case-by-case exceptions" in casting, so if you're 5'9" and fierce and have a backstory, cause. or prejudice that could make for great TV you might still want to attend one of the open casting calls, which begin Saturday, Feb. 28, in Miami. (Men, you're still a tough sell, sorry. "Who knows?" Mock-Falcon says. "Maybe one of these days she's gonna give the guys an opportunity. We get guys that come to the auditions all the time. They're begging us to do males as well. Maybe they'll get their wish, too.")
For those of you planning on auditioning for cycle 13, here are Mock-Falcon's two top tips: (1) "Wear a tank top, jeans, and heels. I think girls think if they come like that, they'll feel underdressed. Then they're
shocked if I call back the one girl in the line that's Plain Jane. They're like, 'Ohmygod, I got this, I spent this
much money.' It's not about that.'" (2) "Come as natural as can be. We've had girls who've had to go take all their makeup off because they have so much of it on. Girls come in wigs and all sorts of things. Really, we just need to see through all of that."
That headline is just about all the excitement I can muster up for America's Next Top Model cycle 12, which ended last night with whatever is a greasy runway's aural equivalent of a "bang." I won't spoil the winner here, but I will admit that when her name popped up on the You're A Cover Girl: It's All Downhill From Here screen, I realized with amazement that I'd never noticed exactly how it was spelled. That pretty much sums up the season.
I begin with a blanket statement: Anyone with a job in this economy is grateful. This is not about complaining, it's about acknowledging a situation and asking who else is experiencing it.... 
I'm a huge fan of the nonstop camp rollercoaster that is 
Gloriously, last week 
You're killing me, Tyra. Unbeweavable.
Hoping to get the scoop on the story behind 
