At a recent Broadway show in a venue that seats about 670 people, only about 40 percent of those seats were occupied, and upon leaving, I noticed the special Memorial Day schedule and wondered aloud: "Will this show even make it that long?" Turns out that was a generous time allotment, as one of the last Broadway shows to open this season, Glory Days (pictured), closed on May 6th, the very same night it opened, which sent a lot of "I told you so" vibes through the industry and a dagger in the hearts of its very young creators, the 23-years-young duo (okay, one is 24 now) of James Gardiner and Nick Blaemire (who moonlights as an ensemble member of the current John Waters musical Cry-Baby).
So yeah, the show was a complete dog: yet another Rent wannabe about young people "finding themselves" where the songs all had that same Casio-sounding Velveeta glaze, a quartet of sweet, sometimes overeager young actors not quite charismatic enough to mask the insipid dialogue and lyrics (seriously, Two and a Half Men has better zingers than this thing did). But its cruelly quick demise (the likes of which Broadway hasn't seen since Ellen Burstyn's 2004 production Oldest Living Confederate Widow Tells All shuttered in one night, which meant the show's title was longer than its life) sent an immediate shockwave through the industry. With shows like Passing Strange still struggling to find an audience and old standbys like Rent about to pack it in, is there an audience for shows centering on the younger generation? Will there be another Rent or Spring Awakening in our midst? Has American Idol seized the audience that these shows will depend on?
Given that Wednesday night's results were pretty much a foregone conclusion, I wandered into the Idoldome with a renewed desire to drink in as much of the tangential sights and sounds of the show as possible. Because I skipped lunch, I also wandered in with a muffin. Riddle me this, PopWatchers: why is gum not okay, but a muffin totally cool? I have no clue, but I did enjoy having a snack for the two and a half hours we were locked inside CBS Television City. During my traditional kickoff confab with the L.A. Times' Richard Rushfield, I noticed he was enjoying what looked like an Ice Blended, and I immediately regretted ditching my half-finished latte on the way in. Next week, I'm bringing a boxed lunch and a thermos of booze, just to see how much of a spread they'll let through the metal detectors. My BlackBerry, meanwhile, remained in a box outside. Idea for YouTube video: A fast-motion look at American Idol's confiscated-cell-phone crate over the course of the show. I wonder how many times that thing nearly vibrates itself right off the table?
After the jump, all the celebs, Corey banter, commercial-break action, and further scientific observation of Ryan Seacrest, Man With No Rhythm. Plus, the reason I made a sign for the first time in my Idol life, the way said sign resulted in awesomeness, and perhaps the least-shocking reality show elimination in American history.
Seems like everybody talks about TV at the office, even people who (unlike me and my co-workers) don't get paid to do so. A new survey specifies who's talking about which programs. No surprise, American Idol is the most talked-about show, popular among both men and women, and especially among workers 65 or older (ah, now we know who voted scary tattooed rocker Carly off the show). Besides AI, women like to talk about Dancing With the Stars (pictured), while men like to pretend they can make sense of talk about Lost.
Which shows are popular topics around your office watercooler? And do you think talking about TV helps or hurts your workplace productivity?
Whether or not you wanted her to win Idol's seventh season, you might still want to check out our three-part interview with the the delightful G-rated nanny (parts 2 and 3 are after the jump). Warning: It is useless to resist Brooke's sunshine-y charms. Seriously! (And if you missed our recent four-parter with Carly Smithson, click here!)
Do you remember the mid-1980s video for that Twisted Sister song, the one that starts with a sadistic schoolteacher berating a student for desecrating his notebook? The teacher caps off his tirade with a guttural, "What do you wanna do with your life?" And the mulleted, denim-vested kid has a very simple reply: "I want to rock."
That's exactly how I felt heading to last night's Idol. I knew it was Rock and Roll Hall of Fame night… and I was ready to rock! So while I was driving from the EW offices in Brentwood to CBS Television City studios in West Hollywood, I cranked up some Heart: "Crazy on You," "Magic Man," "Barracuda"… ladies and gentlemen, the best of Ann and Nancy Wilson! But none of my Wilshire Blvd. jammin' prepared me for what I was about to witness: Duran Duran. To be more precise, this season's Daughtry doing his rocked-out version of Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf."
I know, I know, I write a googillion words a week about American Idol — and I've already referenced an unfunny Ben Stiller "Idol Gives Back" joke in the first sentence of this blog item! — but all the recent press about the show slipping in the advertiser-craved 18-34 demographic, and now having a median viewer age of (le gasp!) 42, got me thinking.
As Idolatry viewer Lee Chesnut from Barnard, Vt., griped in a recent e-mail titled "Oldies Idol," the show has been bizarrely reluctant to allow season 7 contestants to sing contemporary songs. "Neil Diamond Week, Andrew Lloyd Weber Week, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Week, Dolly Parton Week, Beatles Week (twice!), '60s Week, '70s Week, '80s Week.... I mean it's almost cruel to imagine this season's winner being turned loose to compete in the 'real world'," Lee writes, before hitting the all-caps button. "WHAT IS HAPPENING TO MY FAVORITE SHOW??"
Exactly.
To remedy the heinoustries, I say we brainstorm some new and exciting theme weeks that will keep the MTV set happy without alienating Oldie Olsens (like me). I'll get the party started!
Timbaland Night: Why not turn to the dude (pictured) who seemingly produces half the hits on today's Billboard chart? Lest we forget, he's even worked with Ashlee Simpson, so it's not like he can say Idol's beneath him!
Dream Duets Night: The contestants get to choose any artist in the world for a duet partner, then collaborate with said star to select the perfect song/arrangement.
Undiscovered Songwriters Night: Idol producers offer up a pool of, say, 100 undiscovered songwriters, and after listening to their demos, each contestant gets to choose one with whom they'd like to collaborate.
Okay, PopWatchers, there's three from me. Your turn!
Jessica Shaw and I come up with some utterly insane positively daring song suggestions, and also discuss her recent trip to Hollywood to witness the Idol song-selection process. Read Jessica's full report by clicking here, check out the 500 eligible songs here, then post your suggestions for the final 4 in the comments section below.
Ever since I wrote a PopWatch post about the Three's Company episode that I still can't discuss without getting misty -- and 998 comments followed naming the TV moments that made others cry -- I've respected the power television has over my body. It's really a beautiful thing, the way good or "good" TV can move us physically.
Take Paulagate. Our Idol expert Michael Slezak said he immediately pressed pauseon his remote after Paula Abdul critiqued a song that Jason Castro hadn't actually sung yet. Time had to literally stop while he processed what he'd just seen. (I, myself, opted to hit mute, as I tend to do when anyone on a reality show says something mortifying and my instinct for self-preservation kicks in. As I've mentioned before, I practically wear out my remote during the first episode of any Bachelor season, when the ladies attempt to make "memorable" first impressions by singing or reciting an original poem.)
What visceral responses has TV provoked in you, and in what moments? In addition to the standard talking back to the television when a plot line doesn't go my way (oh, don't even pretend like you've never yelled a belligerent, "No!"), I've also been known to:
-- burst out inaspontaneous, two-second fit of rapid applause when a scene is so emotionally satisfying that it makes me
appreciate the television medium as a whole. (I did that yesterday, in fact, while watching the final moments of this Sunday's Brothers & Sisters. You won't want to miss it, that's all I'm saying.) -- forget to breathe when my mind apparently can't allow anything to distract it from watching how a scene plays out. (That's rare, but the best Buffy and Angel episodes still have their way with me.) -- force myself not to close my eyes or look away when a crucial moment of a sporting event is about to unfold live. Why? Because I'm making a deal with God that IF I experience this excruciating tension head-on, my suffering will help earn the team or individual I'm rooting for the win. (I believe this is in direct response to my mother, who gets so nervous that she has to leave the room.)
I admit it: I'd prefer a Cook-Castro, or even Cook-Mercado finale. (Idol blasphemy?) But Dave Karger dropped by the cubicles to try to talk some sense into me. Does my dapper co-host have a point? Discuss!
After spending the better part of the previous 24 hours riding point on Paulagate 2008, of course literally the first thing I heard upon entering the American Idol studio was someone screaming "I love you, Paula!" This daffy woman continues to dominate my job, but I refuse to let her: Since I know Slezak's all over this topic in his TV Watch, all I'll say further on it (for today, anyway) is that I've read a lot about this online, and just for the record, the rumors about Slezak? They're not true. He's part of our family, and we wuv him. That is all.
Both the Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield segments were pre-taped last night, in that order, which was the reverse order of how it aired on your TV, so this rundown's going to be a bit screwy with the chronology. Actually, I thought I was arriving with plenty of time to make the pre-tape, but it turned out to be with just minutes to spare; the judges were already in their seats, Neil Diamond's band was set and ready to play, and the Idols were sitting patiently on the results show bench. Except for Castro, that is, until Debbie the stage manager scolded him to get to his seat and he quickly hopped to. Then Neil Diamond — or, as my dad calls him, "the hippest Orthodox Jew you will ever meet" — emerged on stage, told the (unusually older-skewing) audience "I need you with me," and, after the eco-friendly Ford commercial played on the Idol jumbo-crescent, snoozed grooved the audience to his new song, "Pretty Amazing Grace."
When he was done, David Cook was the first Idol on his feet. The Saving Silverman star then came over and shook all five Idols' hands, and the studioies began breaking down the set, which was quite the production: They had to lift the platforms that held Neil's band up and off the Idol stage and then wheel them out of the studio via the massive soundstage door, which meantthe CBS Television City gum fascists pages had to herd the mosh pit clear to the stage right side of the studio. I indulged in a brief fantasy that involved the studioies yelling, "Stage dive!" as they tossed the massive platforms onto the mosh pit just as they began practicing their arm waving, but then I caught Paula and Simon spending time with an adorable young girl from the audience who was clearly a cancer patient, and the snark demon suddenly evaporated right off my shoulder. Then I spied a sign reading "Archuleta Never Breaks a Sweat-ah," and the little scamp re-congealed again in a snap, though this time he was noticeably smaller and well-groomed.
So stage dive over the jump with me, PopWatchers, and we'll politely snarkify ourselves through this evening of young love and sunshin-y tears.
There may not be any country singers left on American Idol's seventh season, but not to worry: Season 2's fourth-place finisher Josh Gracin stopped by the EW.com studios conference room to play his new single, "We Weren't Crazy" (currently at No. 23 and rising on Billboard's Hot Country Songs chart). Enjoy!
American Idol is giving me some serious mixed messages, PopWatchers. On the one hand, I step away from CBS Television City for three weeks, and Michael Johns and Carly Smithson both get handed the semi-regular Jennifer Hudson No Prize, events that severely shake my enthusiasm for this year's season and force a good friend to repudiate Idol altogether. On the other, while I was gone, Kristy Lee Cook also won the Sanjaya Malakar No Prize, which coaxed our beloved Idolatry producer Jason Averett into fits of coruscating genius unabated (and perhaps even enhanced) by the departure of the aforementioned (and dearly missed) Carly. On the one hand, when I returned to the Idol stage yesterday afternoon, the warm-up comic was not our be-loathed Cory, but a laid back old-school emcee named Johnny D. who I vaguely remember enjoying from last season. On the other, this was also the night that Paula very well may have singlehandedly lifted the entire American Idol juggernaut over an entire school of sharks purely on the power of whatever magic she's sparkling to these days. I know Idol's trying to tell me something, but I'm not sure if it means it wants a booty call, to move in, or just be "friends" who sporadically play a game of online Scrabble.
I've already given the on-the-scene lowdown on the whole Paula two-song-no-sorry-one-song debacle — it was too juicy not to download to the blog ASAP — so all I have to add is this: I should've realized things were heading down the crazy-train track when Nigel Lythgoe scurried through the audience from his usual stage-left berth halfway through Syesha Mercado's first performance for what appeared to be a last-minute pow-wow with Ryan and Debbie backstage, something I'd never seen him do. (And it's not like there weren't ways of getting cross stage that didn't include whacking through the sea of swaying hands in the mosh pit.) Lo and behold, Ryan said on his radio show this morning that Nigel was indeed changing things mid-stream after a directive from a Fox exec (you can read more about that here).
As for the rest of the show, I could just boil it down to David Cook's a total mensch and Johnny D. once played dead for Mulder and Scully, but that's not what y'all come here for, is it? So let's all raise ourselves over the jump on the power of Paula's magic, and dive into this most bizarre of Idol evenings, how 'bouts it?
"We all love the fact that [American Idol] is live," said Ryan Seacrest by way of introducing Paula Abdul's appearance on his morning radio show on Los Angeles' KIIS FM. The Idol judge was calling in, of course, to explain what happened during last night's telecast, when she critiqued both of Jason Castro's songs after he had only sung just one. Here's a breakdown of what we learned:
Before Paula explained her side of the story, Ryan gave a detailed explanation of what happened in the moments leading up to what's now been dubbed Paulagate. He said that:
1) The judges first learned they were only going to give their critiques after the Idol contestants' second songs when Ryan said as much live on air at the top of the show.
2) Halfway through Syesha Mercado's first song, exec. producer Nigel Lythgoe appeared backstage. He informed Ryan and stage manager Debbie Williams that head of Fox reality programming, Mike Darnell, had just called to inform Nigel he wanted the judges to give their comments on all the contestants' first songs at the half-way point of the show.
3) Ryan told Nigel that he was under orders from Darnell to make sure Idol didn't run long, as it would eat into Fox affiliates' evening news shows -- and at that point, the show was running three-and-a-half minutes over schedule. Nigel said he understood, but the round-one recap/critique was what Fox wanted, so out Ryan went, just as Syesha was finishing her final note.
Paula then stepped in to explain, in her typically non-linear style, that (as best we can parse back into a linear timeline of events):
1) She saw Castro (and only Castro) singing his second song, "September Morn," during dress rehearsal (after she dropped off some friends and family to watch it).
2) During the live show, the judges asked for pen and paper to write down their comments as Castro sang his first song, "Forever in Blue Jeans," so they were a bit distracted from his performance.
3) When Ryan threw the second curve-ball at the judges and brought out all five Idols for the first-half recap, Paula said, "I got lost in my notes." Basically, she was confused about what she was supposed to be talking about, and since she had seen Castro sing both his songs, she went ahead and critiqued both of them.
4) She also mentioned that she had written her notes about David Cook on the same sheet of paper as her notes about Jason Castro.
5) Simon, of course, gave up on taking notes before he'd even really begun. "It was crazy for us," said Paula. "In seven years, we've never had to do that."
6) She did not once express any remorse or concern about what her comments may have done to Castro's chances in the competition, and his confidence when he finally did get to sing "September Morn" live.
Ryan then went on to state emphatically that none of the Idol judges have any of their comments pre-scripted, a comment that Paula then seconded. The two went on to commiserate over the sometimes on-the-fly nature of
the show, before Ryan tried to wrap things up with this promise to
Paula: "I'm going to hug you and squeeze you until I make you want me
tonight." But then Paula said, almost offhand, "I'm telling people, 'I was just doing what I was told, and I did see Jason Castro in the dress rehearsal sing part of his song.'"
It seemed like she meant that she thought she was told to critique the Idols' performances, not just round one. You can listen to the entire exchange on KIIS FM's website here. Check it out for yourself, PopWatchers, and then weigh in below: Does Paula's explanation hold water (especially in light of the fact that she told Entertainment Tonight, in an interview that'll air tonight, that she mixed up her critiques for Castro and Cook)? Or is it all wet?
Simon Cowell called tonight's episode of American Idol "officially the strangest show we've ever done," and I don't know about y'all, but from where I sat inside the Idol studios at CBS Television City, I'd say Simon was referring to that glorious moment when, halfway through the show, Paula Abdul critiqued both of Jason Castro's songs after he'd sung only one.
Let's take a quick step back. With the final five contestants each cramming two Neil Diamond tunes into the hour-long production, it was indeed an unusually frenzied evening, and the judges refrained from commenting on the singers' first songs. At the end of the first half of the show, Ryan invited all the Idol contestants on stage and then had the judges run through their thoughts on the first half of the show. (Stage manager Debbie Williams had to step on stage herself to motion the Idols to come out to the stage, as if, perhaps, this half-way check-in wasn't entirely planned.) Randy shocked no one —"just OK…doing your thing…the bomb"—and then, with executive producer Nigel Lythgoe and Debbie watching from the wings, it was Paula's turn.
"Oh gosh—we've never had to write these things down, uh, fast enough," she said. "Jason, the first song, I loved hearing your lower register, which we never really hear." So far so good. "Um, the second song, I felt like your usual charm, it was missing for me. It kind of left me a little empty." Huh? The audience began tittering with confusion, and Nigel and Debbie both began quietly freaking out. Paula continued, unaware. "The two songs made me feel like you're not fighting hard enough to get into the top four." By this point, several audience members were openly cracking up, Debbie had to stop herself from stepping on camera to end the madness, and Nigel was frantically gesturing a single finger to anyone who could see him: ONE SONG! THEY'VE ONLY SUNG ONE SONG!
"So, David Cook," Paula continued, until Randy saved the day: "Oh, they've just done the first song though, just the first one." The tension was finally broken with this apology (of sorts) from Paula: "I thought you—Oh my god, I thought you sang twice!…You know what, this is hard! You know what, I'm looking at, it's your notes, David [Cook]. You were fantastic." As Simon swooped in for his chance to scold the Idols, Nigel stepped off stage to, I'm assuming, get the on-site EMTs to give him some oxygen. At the ad break, the judges were all whisked out of the studio, Syesha Mercado, David Cook, David Archuleta and Brooke White left waving to the audience, and Jason Castro was left on a stool, stage center, contemplating what, exactly, had just happened. (Get more on last night's shenanigans in Slezak's TV Watch.)
A Fox spokesperson declined to comment, and Paula's rep did not return e-mails seeking comment. Below is the clip in question. What do you think, PopWatchers? Was this just an honest mistake, or did the whole event strike you as bit more...curious? (If you're looking for our regular on-the-scene write-up, don't fret, it's coming soon. It's just that this was too juicy not to bring up as soon as possible.)
Thanks to The New York Post, we saw this piece in Broadcasting & Cable that suggests producers are thinking of tweaking specific components of American Idol next season. According to B&C, a recent online market research survey asks several key questions, including “Suppose the first few weeks of American Idol started in Hollywood with flashbacks of the auditions; would that increase or decrease your enjoyment of American Idol?” (My answer: Increase! Am I in the minority?)
Among the other questions, which B&C paraphrases, are: Is there too much or too little
banter between the judges? And is there too much or not enough Ryan? (Considering I fast-forward through any "banter" and any "Ryan," I'm guessingmy answer is too much. Though, full disclosure, I also fast-forward through anything that's not one of the contestants singing on stage.)
So, let's help Fox out. Answer those questions below. And feel free to mention any other areas you'd like producers to target. It's a broken record, at this point, to say that the results show needs to be overhauled... but go for it.
Dawnie Walton and I could probably use a little help in the song suggestion department, so check out our latest installment of Idolatry, then weigh in with choices for the five remaining Idol contestants in the comments section below.
Dalton Ross is back with the seventh installment in his series of dramatic readings of passages from the recently published Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul. This week, we pay homage to the literary genius that is Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais. For previous clips -- including Sanjaya Malakar, Scott Savol, and Haley Scarnato -- click here.
This week's episode of Idolatry (of course)! Watch for yourself, then weigh in on whether American Idol voters got it right this week by sending home the lovely and talented Carly Smithson. (Of course they didn't!)
She refused to be pigeonholed as this season's Haley Scarnato, and instead fought back with smart song choices and sly stage antics. Now, Kristy Lee Cook drops by the Idolatry cubicles and explains how she did it. Check out part 1 (below) and parts 2 and 3 (after the jump).
I've been stalling, PopWatchers. This is not a blog post I want to write. You already know the results, of course: On tonight's episode of America's Embarrassing Lapses In JudgmentAmerican Idol, Carly Smithson was sent packing, despite a rendition of "Jesus Christ Superstar" that Jesus himself would have been hard-pressed to top. And if you've followed my occasional recaps of the in-person Idol experience, you know that Carly was head-and-tattooed-shoulders my favorite contestant this year, if not ever. So it was not a good day for me. And what I'd really like to do is slap down 5000 or so words explaining what I perceive as a buttery national malaise involving fear of anything passionate or unique and expanding on my now-confirmed suspicion that the reason the music business is dying has less to do with the Internet and more to do with a lack of intellectual curiosity combined with an generational sound palate deadened by an endless stream of mediocrity masquerading as the "next big thing." But instead, I think I'll just write up the notes I took from my seat in Section D of CBS Television City tonight, watch The Daily Show, and go to bed. After all, tomorrow I head to Coachella, and there will be real music there.
Read on as I defy current political trends to become both bitter and elitist, after the jump.
Michael Slezak: So Adam, it's the final day of voting for the American Idol Songwriting competition,. You ready to dive into the land of "I Believe This Is My Moment Like This Inside Your Now"? (Ew.) Adam B. Vary: Yes. And thank you for diving with me -- last year I think I was the only one on staff to listen to (and rate) all 20 songs in the Idol competition, and while I correctly predicted that "This Is My Now" was the only song that was even near "good" enough to win, it nearly killed me. Slezak: I cannot even begin to fathom how heinous those other 19 songs sounded. ABV: I seem to recall one or two that were about suicide. By the way, you gotta register first before you can vote. Slezak: Gack. ABV: I know. Because voting for the finale song needs to be fair and scientific. Whereas speed dialing for the actual winner of the show is totally fine. Slezak: Indeed! Okay, just got the confirmation email. So first up: "When You Come from Nothing." No effing way I am voting for a song with that title. ABV: So this woman's stuck in the crowd, but won't give in to her doubts. Or doubts in general. Slezak I have doubts about my ability to get through 19 more songs. Shall we move on? ABV: You've got to believe in something when you come from nothing, Slezak. ABV: Having heard the 20 mostly ballad-y songs from last year, I'm actually gonna give this poor downtrodden lady 5 stars (out of 10) for being uptempo. Slezak: I give it one star. ABV: You're gonna be wishing for negative ratings soon.
I should think the nearly 300 of you who commented on last week's AmericanIdol + Religion = Debacle! post would be surprised to learn just how into Carly Smithson's rendition of "Jesus Christ Superstar" I was this evening. Sure, I knew it was coming -- Richard Rushfield had tipped me off at the start of the show, because he reads TMZ whereas I'd rather poke my eyes out with a hot molten lava stick -- but even in my wildest dreams I could not have imagined my girl's sonic tour de force. The dress was hot, the soulful vocal line was hotter, and every single person in the Idol Thunderdome was on their feet before the last note came down. Which is why, when Randy busted out with "I mean, I don't know if this was your best performance..." I was completely unable to stop a shriek of rage from escaping my lips. And I do mean "shriek," PopWatchers -- I shrieked so loud it was actually audible on the broadcast. Go rewind your DVRs: He's not quite finished saying "performance," and there is a sound like a cat being strangled from the back of the auditorium. Yeah. That was me.
And sadly, that was the most interesting thing that happened off-camera today, despite Rushfield's pre-show proclamation that this was "the most important night in the history of entertainment." The goodies mostly made it to air, from Jason Castro's own personal kitty strangulation to Rickey Minor's Pussycat Doll routine. Still, a few tidbits lurk after the jump...
Dalton Ross is back with the sixth installment in his series of dramatic readings of passages from the recently published 'Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul.' This week, prepare yourself for the literary genius that is "author" Carmen Rasmusen.
(For previous clips — including Sanjaya Malakar, Scott Savol, and Haley
Scarnato — click here.)
Missy Schwartz and I try to create a six-song set list that won't turn the Idol stage into a hot honeyed mess. Check out our picks for Jason, Carly, Brooke, ballad-crazy Syesha, and the two Davids, then suggest your own!
To quote hair-metal wonderboys Cinderella, "you don't know what you got till it's gone." On that note, when you've finished watching the latest installment of Idolatry, post your own goodbyes, adieus, and tributes to Idol's season 7 country gal in the comments section below.
The palindrome is dead; all hail the palindrome. Yes, PopWatchers, just when I was starting to like her, Kristy Lee "KLK" Cook -- wide stance, Evita hands, MechaZilla survival skills and all -- was asked to leave American Idol's dwindling island tonight, during an episode most remarkable for its complete mindfrak of an elimination construct. This was a night which will also forever live in infamy as the first and hopefully only time I'll be hypnotized into downloading an American Idol iTune. Damn you, David Cook, and your infernal talent. You're making me go all soft! Between your bizarrely appealing emo versions of cheesy songs I love and the persistent, itchy crush I've developed on Seacrest, I don't even know who I am anymore. What's next? I start watching Dancing with the Stars? I buy a Clay Aiken CD? I stop being totally creeped out by all these group numbers in which the Idol contestants sing about God and praying?
Okay, that last thing will never happen. But rather than launch into one of those rants you folks love so much -- this time featuring my strongly held belief that if I want to hear evangelical music, there are channels other than Fox for my doomed soul to surf, thank you very much, and hey, I wonder what God thinks of all the families that network tried to destroy with Moment of Truth? -- I'll just go ahead and start the rundown of what happened during today's taping, featuring none other than Ms. Mariah Carey herself. Join me after the jump, won't you? The Baby Jesus would want you to!
Seems hard to believe, PopWatchers, but I don't think I've been to Idol since Amanda Overmyer was voted off. You'll be shocked, I'm sure, to hear that not much has changed. Corey's still there, forcing strangers to booty-dance. Debbie the Stage Manager continues to shuffle around in her headset and cool hat. Americans of every shape and size are still getting their scream on when requested. For me -- a girl who spent a transcendent weekend watching Eddie Vedder dominate a non-blinding stage using nothing but a series of guitars and his legendary voice -- it was a bit like leaving Oz and heading back to Kansas, except louder, and with less farm implements. But I know you kids hate it when I bring that kind of downer talk to the table, so how about this: "AWWWW YEEEEAAAAAH!"
Let's hit the required setup and then get into the action:
1. People brought signs! My section featured "David Cook
Takes the Cake" and "David Cooks," the latter featuring real forks and
spoons glued around its border.
2. Celebrities were there! Ring up Teri Hatcher, Minnie Driver, and -- I think -- former Head of the Class star Dan Schneider, better known to this demographic as the producer of Zoey 101 and Drake & Josh.
I was also somewhat dismayed to see David Hernandez and Ramiele Malubay
in the crowd, creating quite the fustercluck of pre-teens swarming for
autographs. Somewhere in my brain, a long lecture about dignity that
tangentially involves the Real World/Road Rules Challenge cast is brewing, but I'll save that for another time.
3. There's a reason they don't call it "showFUN"! Once we'd
all been coached within an inch of our lives -- clap! but not during
ballads cause it's weird! but give everyone a standing ovation! but
don't block the teleprompter with your sign! but get those arms above
your head! -- Corey brought out the judges. This was rocky. First,
Debbie made him stall, as the judges were clearly not ready, and then,
when he introduced Simon, the Idols came out instead. There are so few
of them left! The tiny group huddled together on the stage, Brooke's
dress shimmying in the strobe lighting, Kristy Lee Cook bouncing
merrily. And as the countdown began to the live broadcast, the crowd
could yell but one thing: "Where's Paula?" The tiny purple
people-pleaser was nowhere to be found as we counted down from ten,
nine, eight -- "Where's PAULA??? the crowd yelled louder -- seven, six,
five -- Debbie is strangely calm -- four, three, "WHERE IS PAULA?!?!?"
they shrieked -- two... Oh, thank god, there she is, tottering in on
heels twice her height, and mounting the platform just as Ryan began
the show. Aaaaand, THIS was tonight's American Idol (after the jump)...
Dawnie Walton and I brainstorm some song suggestions -- including an upbeat pick for David Archuleta! -- and attempt our best imitations of the "Mariah Gospel Hand." ™
Dalton Ross is back with the fifth installment in his series of dramatic readings of passages from the recently published Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul. Prepare yourself for the genius that is "author" Sanjaya Malakar. (For previous clips, click here for Scott Savol, here for Kimberly Caldwell, here for Ace Young, and here for Haley Scarnato. Keep the Kleenex handy.)
This week's episode of Idolatry, of course! When you're done watching, please weigh in with the appropriate sentence for Ryan Seacrest's unusually cruel treatment of Michael Johns during Thursday's Idol results show. I was gonna suggest 30 days in the clink, where Ryan would have to watch his E! colleague Giuliana DePandi fill in on Idol hosting duties, but why should all of us have to pay the price for his crime?
The mood in the Idol studio going into elimination night on Thursday? Somber. From the CBS Television City pages to the cameramen, Debbie the stage manager to, yes, even Corey the warm-up comic, everyone just looked wiped out. This being their fourth Idol commitment in just as many days, it seemed like much of the crew had by this point OD'd on contestants, charity and gospel choirs. There certainly wasn't the same buzz in the air that I felt at the start of Tuesday's show, but then again, this is the day we all dread, and I'm not talking about Jason Castro's hair, either. (We'll get to his female hair-alike later.) Idol may give back, but it also taketh away, and tonight, one person's dream would be snatched from their clutches.
But as Carly (pictured, left, with Syesha) declared on Tuesday, the show must go on, and so it did. With 10 minutes to air, Corey turned on his internal power button and started the pluck-from-the-crowd-and-onto-the-stage shtick. Elderly man shaking his booty disturbingly well? Check. Teenager desperate to be cast on a reality show? Found. Soccer mom who can handle the Axl Rose snake dance? No problem. Debbie got some extra-special attention as well, thanks to her close encounter of the microphone kind with one Brad Pitt. "She was still signing autographs this morning," Corey cracked.
American Idol's reigning ninth-place finisher stopped by EW.com's cubicles, where I got to ask her about her insane elimination-night garb, her questionable song choices ("Alone"? Really?), and a possible reality-TV future with BFF Danny Noriega. Ch-ch-check out this three-part interview — if you're not too busy mourning Michael Johns' ouster, that is.
Part 1: Ramiele breaks it down on singing while breaking down. (Parts 2 and 3, after the jump!)
The lameness, that is. I'm talking, of course, about his abysmal cameo on last night's Idol Gives Backspecial, where he played the "Russian Idol," complete with a pathetic attempt at an Eastern European accent and some embarrassing "in my country" gags. The random user who added it to YouTube (below) titled it "VERY FUNNY Robin Williams On American Idol Gives Back 2008," which makes me wonder if this person is actually Robin Williams. Let me put this in the simplest terms possible: Mediocre Borat impressions from people who are not Sacha Baron Cohen are not funny anymore! (For that matter, neither are Brokeback jokes like the one Williams snuck in there — though apparently the studio audience loved that line, which probably says something about the maturity level of the people who show up for an Idol taping.) After forcing myself to endure that laughless slog again for this post, I'm feeling like I need some serious charity myself. Don't you?
PopWatchers, I don't even know how to begin to describe the Idol experience I had last night.
But I'll try. The things I do for you guys...
I'm not going to lie to you — I'm not an Idol fan. Thanks to my Idol-obsessed roommates and the wonder that is DVR, I have actually watched some episodes this season, but I just don't get the hype. However, I'm not so cold-hearted that I'd snark about Idol's charitable giving. I mean, c'mon. Even I have standards. However, the fact remains — this particular taping was a snoozefest, and even the most ardent Idol supporters in the audience would probably agree. Of course, this was not the typical Idol taping.
If you've been keeping up on your Idol blogs, you already knew that Ryan and the gang pre-taped performances last Sunday at the Kodak Theater for last night's show. What I didn't know (nor do I think any of the EW staffers knew... unless they were punking the new kid) was that almost all of what was shown on TV last night was pre-taped. Yes, that's right. Anytime you saw something coming from the Kodak
Theater, it wasn't live. The only live parts of the taping I attended at CBS Television City were the phone calls (pictured) and the Idols singing a special
Rent song — more on that later.
When I arrive at the CBS lot, I go through security and take a seat among rows of people. Because I am a newbie, I'm unaware that these people did not have tickets, whereas I do. I start talking to the girl next to me, who tells me she has been waiting two years to come see Idol in person. Two years! And that she had gotten an e-mail three days ago saying that she could come to the show — but she wasn't guaranteed a ticket. She'd get in if there were extra seats. So she's there, waiting for hours just for the chance to see Idol. Now that's dedication.
Once I figure out that I don't have to wait with the rest of the herd, I get in, get my seat and settle in for what I'd hope will be an entertaining night. Twelve desks are set up on stage — I begin to wonder if I have stumbled upon the Are you Smarter than a 5th Grader? set. I watch as the staff move audience members around, looking conspicuously as if they are moving "pretty" girls to the front and those not-so-pretty to the back. Hmm.
I don't see a single celeb in the audience. Corey the Warm-Up Guy that I've heard so much about comes out and tells the audience about the pre-taped segments from Sunday, but "Ryan will be here tonight!!" Commence screaming from the middle-aged women behind me. It's going to be a long night...
All you women out there with dreams of singing superstardom (Carly, Syesha, Kristy Lee, Brooke, you know who you are), listen carefully to the priceless advice from Erykah Badu about achieving success in the music business, in this excerpt from the IFC movie Before the Music Dies. She pulls no punches with her NSFW language — but few topics deserve strong language more than this one, if you ask me. You go, Erykah, with your potty mouth and your insightful observations about the Sisyphean challenge facing female artists in our society!
Want to guess which "tip" is my favorite? Hint: It has to do with a beeper. I'm not sure where you would put the beeper if you were wearing nothing but glitter, but what a great photo shoot that would be.
What do you think, PopWatchers, about Badu's point of view? Is her sarcasm hitting the right note with you, or do you find it over the top?
I just read an interesting Idol-related tidbit from New York magazine. First let me say, I couldn't agree more with Slezak about David Archuleta's beautiful “Angels" on Tuesday and the fact that it was far superior to Jessica Simpson's whiny 2004 cover (though any true Robbie Williams fan knows neither rendition can touch the RW original.) But I did get the distinct impression from young David's introduction video that he discovered the song just for this special Idol week.
In fact, it's clear he's been singing it far longer, judging from this clip of a school event. The footage is completely unscandalous; indeed, it's pretty cute how Archuleta's pubescent tenor swims around in the deep end of his voice box trying to hit those low notes, while girls swoon and (I imagine) contemplate what a perfect theme song it would be for the future "Archangels" fan club.
The clip makes me wonder whether this year's crop of talented Idols (or the show's producers) think their audience would gripe if we heard an intro along the lines of, "I've performed this song for many years because I love it, and here it is just for you." Because the thing is, I have no problem hearing well-honed songs from the contestants' repertoire — do you, PopWatchers? Would it take away from the "amateur talent contest anyone can win" aura, in the same way that prior record deals have sparked controversy?
Okay, so we've made it to the top eight, soon to be the final seven, and I'm fully committed now. Up until this point, I don't think I'd made that emotional investment in the Idols. Ramiele, Chikezie, David Hernandez... these are names — and performances — that, in six months, I'll have a hard time remembering. But season seven's last ones standing, for better (hello, Michael Johns!) or worse, have definitely made an impression, and it's a lasting one. So with good will from Sunday's Idol Gives Back bonanza still tugging at the heart, I came into the Idol studio full of positive thoughts and anticipation. How fitting that it was inspiration night.
But before we get into that, a survey of the room: Taylor Swift had a seat near the judges, not too far from Sinbad and Lacey from So You Think You Can Dance. And speaking of dancing, standing off by the side door was Julianne Hough in full make-up but still wearing her pre-show robe. It was elimination night next door on Dancing with the Stars, but Julianne looked surprisingly relaxed. Maybe she had a hunch it was her time to go.
As for me, I was settling into the D section, but within five minutes of sitting down, inadvertently dropped the f-bomb twice, oblivious to the fact that I was surrounded on all sides by tween-age girls. Needless to say, I felt terrible and kept the cursing in check for the rest of the show. (Sorry, moms.)
With 10 minutes to go, Corey the warm-up guy gets his crowd on and we learn, by cheer volume, that a good half of the audience is made up of first-timers. Which may explain the proliferation of signs — MJ's The Wonder From Down Under, Hallelujah For Jason, Sing It David! (which one? It didn't specify) — that didn't look like they were drawn outside in the parking lot.
Corey's instructions tonight were a bit more emphatic. "You don't
have to be polite," he tells the audience when it comes to disagreeing
with the judges. "And when you clap, try to do it above your head. It
looks great from the back." And just to remind us all that this is,
after all, television, Corey's last directive is to give "a huge
standing ovation after each performance."
Enter the judges. Randy blows kisses to the crowd, Simon makes nice
with the fans, Ryan walks out to the stage and shakes hands with the
girls in the mosh pit. "Welcome to the front," he tells them. And with
three minutes to go, out come the Idols. On the applause meter, Michael
Johns, looking foxy even with the unnecessary scarf, certainly
registers, but it's David Archuleta (pictured) who sends it into the red. The
crowd just loves that kid!
Annie Barrett and I brainstorm a set list for the eight remaining American Idol contestants, including numbers from En Vogue, Tom Petty, and Irene Cara. Think of this episode as Idolatry Gives Back, and after you've watched, get in the spirit and make some suggestions of your own. Otherwise, you'll have no one to blame but yourself when someone sings "I Believe I Can Fly" or "Flying Without Wings."
So this is a little weird, PopWatchers. I'm about to deliver my On the Scene experience at last night's Idol Gives Back for y'all, but it's for an episode you have yet to see. And you definitely should see it when it airs this Wednesday; beyond the fact the event benefits some powerfully worthy causes, it promises to be a rather terrific night of television — from my vantage-point waaaaay up in the third balcony of the Kodak Theater, anyway.
Which is why this is a little weird. Normally, I'd have no problem talking about the joke Jimmy Kimmel made about... well, about the chest area of one of the judges, because you'd've already seen it, so I wouldn't be ruining the punchline. But this time, I'm concerned that if I talk about it — and about so-and-so's surprise appearance, and that what's-her-name's performance was surprisingly meh — it'll ruin the show and prove a disincentive to watch the actual thing. Which doesn't really so much help out those charitable causes I mentioned earlier. (Okay, one tidbit: Brad Pitt, pictured, was in the house.)
This is probably an example of when my parents say I worry too much, but, regardless, I propose a compromise: After the jump, I'll give you all the advance scoop on Idol Gives Back. If you do not want to know about the show in advance, for the love of Kelly Clarkson, DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER. If you do click below, however, you've got to promise to watch at least some of the real thing on Wednesday, or at the very least log onto Idol's website that night and give a donation, however large or small. I may get paid to toss a healthy helping of observational snark Idol's way, but these causes deserve nothing but your and my support. So, click below, and you're committing at the least to flipping to your Fox channel Wendesday night, and hopefully opening your wallet as well. Deal? Awesome. Let's do this thing.
It's no secret that pop radio has never been particularly welcoming to American Idol's season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken, and so it makes sense that "On My Way Here," the lead single from his upcoming CD (due May 6), is aimed directly at an adult contemporary audience. Yet while Clay's vocal is more restrained than usual on "On My Way Here" (huzzah!), the melody is surprisingly bland for an artist who's already facing an uphill battle for airplay. (It would be like the new restaurant on the block choosing "toast with butter" as the house specialty.)
As for the lyrics, while things start somewhat promisingly — with flashbacks to Clay taking his first steps on a "black-and-white kitchen floor" and the dissolution of his parents' marriage — it doesn't take long for "On My Way Here" to devolve into a litany of clichés. I challenge your mind not to drift to other subjects (will Old Christine get a fourth season? Which is the stronger acting dynasty: The Baldwins or the Arquettes? Also: What's for lunch?) as Clay touches the sky and hits the wall and learns to fly and does what he has to do (and so on and so forth).
No, I've never been a Claymate, but even so, this one's disappointing. Listen for yourselves (after the jump) and then tell me what you think, PopWatchers!
Dalton Ross is back with the fourth installment in his series of dramatic readings of passages from the recently published Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul.
Today's clip spotlights the moving prose of "author" Scott Savol. (For
previous clips, click here for Kimberly Caldwell, here for Ace Young,
and here for Haley Scarnato... if you dare.)
Missy Schwartz and I ponder the lack of love for the Irish barmaid's awesome "Here You Come Again," and discuss the downfall of Baby Scrunchface on this week's I-I-I-I-Idolatry. Watch it for yourself, then share the love (or bring the hate) in the comments section below!
It was a night of tears, fainting spells, tears, booty dancing, a human Ryan Seacrest, tears, and, of course, Dolly Parton (pictured). It was a night to remember, PopWatchers, even if the final result was as predictable as a non-committal comment from Randy. Unlike the last Idol results show I attended, this time I knew to show up early for the pre-taped segment, filing into Stage 36 at 4:50 p.m. with the rest of the audience, as Debbie the Stage Manager and Nigel Lythgoe frantically commanded us to please, please hurry to our seats, as they were supposed to start the pre-tape by 5 p.m. Once everyone got settled, I discovered two immediate surprises: One, the signage had significantly improved from Tuesday night, including "Hook'd on Cook" (but which one?!?) and this one, held by an 8-to-11-ish young girl: "Jason, will you marry me (in 15 years)?" And two, even though Dolly Parton was performing, the only two celebrities I counted in the audience were Chikezie and Robin McGraw, Dr. Phil's wife. I've decided Nigel is intercepting the A-listers as they enter the theater and keeping them in a luxury-appointed holding pen until next week's Idol Gives Back.
The pre-taped segment — which regular readers and eagle-eyed viewers should know by now is always the call-in Q&A and following musical performance — went off without a hitch. I correctly guessed that Syesha Mercado, David Cook and Michael "Haunts My Dreams" Johns were safe after they were called on to answer the viewer questions. All of the final nine dutifully head-bobbed to the Clark Brothers, who I thought did a decent job of climbing up from the Pit of Long Forgotten Reality Show Winners into the Pantheon of Respectable Performers Whose Albums You Probably Still Won't Buy.
As we head beyond the jump, I'll regale y'all with tales of Ryan's words of comfort to the people of San Antonio, my two favorite Corey the WUC moments ever, and what caused Debbie the Stage Manager to call for paramedics.
I almost didn't make it, PopWatchers. A conspiracy of last-minute magazine work, Los Angeles traffic, and what seemed to me to be a hazardous number of flat-bed trucks hauling barely tied-down kitchen appliances nearly kept me from making it to my seat at CBS Television City. My rear had barely touched the chair, in fact, before Corey the Warm-Up Comic launched into his tried-and-true warm-up routine, replete with Beyoncé-booty-shaking audience members. Since Corey was denied this opportunity the last twotimes I watched the live show, I surprised myself by actually sorta kinda maybe enjoying it. For nostalgia's sake, I mean.
The rest of the show, though, I just plain enjoyed. The evening built on a nice and steady progression of Dolly-sweetened goodness until the glorious, glorious crescendo that was Michael Johns (pictured). But I'm getting ahead of myself. First up, a tally of the best signs: "Archuleta is mo betta" and... that's it. The signage has been a massive disappointment this season thus far. The celeb quotient was also lacking: Vanna White, Michael Kors, Phil Keoghan of The Amazing Race, and... wait for it... Ashley "Crying Girl" Ferl. Yes, for reals. She was parked way on the left side towards the back -- it would appear that Nigel Lythgoe and Co. aren't too keen on feeding off her copious sobs this season -- and I only noticed her halfway into the show when Debbie the Stage Manager suddenly cried out during an ad break, "Ashley?! Is that you?! Are you crying?!" Yes, yes she was. She was losing her s---, quite frankly, to the point where I'm beginning to worry that Idol may just not be the best environment for the poor girl's psyche, let alone her overtaxed tear ducts.
After the jump, we'll dive into the rest of the show, which includes an extra-special bonus surprise -- and no, I don't mean of the April Fools' kind. I think Ryan's "hilarious" "fake out" was plenty April fooling for one year, don't you?
This just in (from a pretty solid source): Though we can't confirm it's 100 percent accurate, an insider-y bird just sent us the set list for tonight's Dolly Parton episode of American Idol. Spoilerphobes, fear not: I've posted all the contestants' song choices after the jump!
Update: Sorry, guys! We went 0 for 9, and clearly (as some of you pointed out)
the April Fools' joke was on us. As penance, I will watch Ramiele's
performance three extra times tomorrow morning!
Nicholas Fonseca and I ponder the Dolly-rific possibilities, engage in a fierce Brooke-vs.-Carly debate, and shed more light on Kristy Lee's evil plan to crack American Idol's top 8. (Yes, robots are involved!)
Dalton Ross is back with the third installment in his series of dramatic readings of passages from the recently published Chicken Soup for the American Idol Soul
Home
At a recent Broadway show in a venue that seats about 670 people, only about 40 percent of those seats were occupied, and upon leaving, I noticed the special Memorial Day schedule and wondered aloud: "Will this show even make it that long?" Turns out that was a generous time allotment, as one of the last Broadway shows to open this season, Glory Days (pictured), closed on May 6th, the very same night it opened, which sent a lot of "I told you so" vibes through the industry and a dagger in the hearts of its very young creators, the 23-years-young duo (okay, one is 24 now) of James Gardiner and Nick Blaemire (who moonlights as an ensemble member of the current John Waters musical Cry-Baby).
Given that Wednesday night's results were pretty much a foregone conclusion, I wandered into the Idoldome with a renewed desire to drink in as much of the tangential sights and sounds of the show as possible. Because I skipped lunch, I also wandered in with a muffin. Riddle me this, PopWatchers: why is gum not okay, but a muffin totally cool? I have no clue, but I did enjoy having a snack for the two and a half hours we were locked inside CBS Television City. During my traditional kickoff confab with the L.A. Times' Richard Rushfield, I noticed he was enjoying what looked like an Ice Blended, and I immediately regretted ditching my half-finished latte on the way in. Next week, I'm bringing a boxed lunch and a thermos of booze, just to see how much of a spread they'll let through the metal detectors. My BlackBerry, meanwhile, remained in a box outside. Idea for YouTube video: A fast-motion look at American Idol's confiscated-cell-phone crate over the course of the show. I wonder how many times that thing nearly vibrates itself right off the table?
Seems like everybody talks about TV at the office, even people who (unlike me and my co-workers) don't get paid to do so. A 
Do you remember the 
I know, I know, I write a googillion words a week about 
Ever since I wrote a PopWatch post about the Three's Company episode that I still can't discuss without getting misty -- and 
After spending 
American Idol is giving me some serious mixed messages, PopWatchers. On the one hand, I step away from CBS Television City for three weeks, and Michael Johns and Carly Smithson both get handed the semi-regular Jennifer Hudson No Prize, events that severely shake my enthusiasm for this year's season and force a good friend to repudiate Idol altogether. On the other, while I was gone, Kristy Lee Cook also won the Sanjaya Malakar No Prize, which coaxed our beloved Idolatry producer Jason Averett into fits of coruscating genius 
"We all love the fact that [American Idol] is live," said Ryan Seacrest by way of introducing Paula Abdul's appearance on his morning radio show on Los Angeles' KIIS FM. The 
Simon Cowell called tonight's episode of 
Thanks to The New York Post, we saw 
I've been stalling, PopWatchers. This is not a blog post I want to write. You already know the results, of course: On tonight's episode of 
Michael Slezak: So Adam, it's the final day of voting for the 
I should think the nearly 300 of you who commented on last week's 
The palindrome is dead; all hail the palindrome. Yes, PopWatchers, just when I was starting to like her, Kristy Lee "KLK" Cook -- wide stance, Evita hands, MechaZilla survival skills and all -- was asked to leave 
Seems hard to believe, PopWatchers, but I don't think I've been to Idol since Amanda Overmyer was voted off. You'll be shocked, I'm sure, to hear that not much has changed. Corey's still there, forcing strangers to booty-dance. Debbie the Stage Manager continues to shuffle around in her headset and cool hat. Americans of every shape and size are still getting their scream on when requested. For me -- a girl who spent a transcendent weekend watching Eddie Vedder dominate a non-blinding stage using nothing but a series of guitars and his legendary voice -- it was a bit like leaving Oz and heading back to Kansas, except louder, and with less farm implements. But I know you kids hate it when I bring that kind of downer talk to the table, so how about this: "AWWWW YEEEEAAAAAH!"
The mood in the Idol studio going into elimination night on Thursday? Somber. From the CBS Television City pages to the cameramen, Debbie the stage manager to, yes, even Corey the warm-up comic, everyone just looked wiped out. This being their fourth Idol commitment in just as many days, it seemed like much of the crew had by this point OD'd on contestants, charity and gospel choirs. There certainly wasn't the same buzz in the air that I felt at the start of 
PopWatchers, I don't even know how to begin to describe the Idol experience I had last night.
Okay, so we've made it to the top eight, soon to be the final seven, and I'm fully committed now. Up until this point, I don't think I'd made that emotional investment in the Idols. Ramiele, Chikezie, David Hernandez... these are names — and performances — that, in six months, I'll have a hard time remembering. But season seven's last ones standing, for better (hello, Michael Johns!) or worse, have definitely made an impression, and it's a lasting one. So with good will from Sunday's Idol Gives Back bonanza still tugging at the heart, I came into the Idol studio full of positive thoughts and anticipation. How fitting that it was inspiration night. 
So this is a little weird, PopWatchers. I'm about to deliver my On the Scene experience at last night's Idol Gives Back for y'all, but it's for an episode you have yet to see. And you definitely should see it when it airs this Wednesday; beyond the fact the event benefits some powerfully worthy causes, it promises to be a rather terrific night of television — from my vantage-point waaaaay up in the third balcony of the Kodak Theater, anyway.
It's no secret that pop radio has never been particularly welcoming to American Idol's season 2 runner-up Clay Aiken, and so it makes sense that "
It was a night of tears, fainting spells, tears, booty dancing, a human Ryan Seacrest, tears, and, of course, Dolly Parton (pictured). It was a night to remember, PopWatchers, even if the final result was as predictable as a non-committal comment from Randy. Unlike the last Idol results show 
I almost didn't make it, PopWatchers. A conspiracy of last-minute magazine work, Los Angeles traffic, and what seemed to me to be a hazardous number of flat-bed trucks hauling barely tied-down kitchen appliances nearly kept me from making it to my seat at CBS Television City. My rear had barely touched the chair, in fact, before Corey the Warm-Up Comic launched into his tried-and-true warm-up routine, replete with Beyoncé-booty-shaking audience members. Since Corey was denied this opportunity the last 
This just in (from a pretty solid source): Though we can't confirm it's 100 percent accurate, an insider-y bird just sent us the set list for tonight's Dolly Parton episode of 