In a Playboy interview hitting stands Friday, Alec Baldwin talks all about "that voicemail", how it leaking almost drove him to suicide, and how he'll never return to the Today show because Matt Lauer did an interview with TMZ's Harvey Levin before phoning him. Juicy stuff, even if it's two years old, but what I find most interesting is Baldwin talking about the future. He plans on retiring after 30 Rock -- "I'm done in 2012. In March 2012, I'll wake up and say, 'What am I going to do now? Am I done?' I think I will be done. I may finish a play or something, but I'm retiring at the wrap party" -- and dreams of having a tabloid-free personal life.
"I have this silly fantasy," he says. "I get married again, I have a kid. I'd love another shot at that, with everything I've learned. My kid's like eight, comes home and says, 'Dad, Jimmy's mom says you were a famous actor on TV and in the movies. Is that true?' And I go, 'Yes, Johnny, Dad was famous.' I whip out my scrapbooks and my DVDs and say, 'Believe it or not, that's your dad.' And my kid's like, 'You used to be on TV and everything? And now you stay home and just clean the house all day while Mom works?' 'That's right, son.' It's a dream, that the kid doesn't know anything about that part of my life. Our normal life is uncontaminated by it."
If he's serious about that, I definitely think he could make it happen. Step 1: Stop talking about "that voicemail." We'd almost forgotten about it. Step 2: If Demi Moore still has her property in Idaho, buy it from her. Step 3: Move in. Step 4: Do not run for public office (an idea he's toying with), just be the president of the PTA at your fictional son's school. That's pretty much it. I don't see paparazzi caring enough about a Baldwin brother -- even the Oscar-nominated, Emmy-winning one -- to stake out bake sales.* Being an older actor, with a large amount of good will from what would be six seasons of 30 Rock, can have its advantages in this tabloid culture, Alec.
*Or frankly, even to follow you around New York City once you're off 30 Rock, provided you don't do or say something stupid in public.
Is 30 Rock a rip-off of The Muppet Show, as a blog post from writer Brian Lynch jokingly (mostly) claims? It's a cute comparison, and some of it's spot-on -- Jenna = Miss Piggy? Truth! -- but Liz as Kermit isn't quite as good a fit. And Jack is just every Muppet? And Tracy's Gonzo? Au contraire.
I get Lynch's premise, and I actually found his reasoning quite charming. But he loses me at Scooter/Kenneth. Yeah, they're both naive gofers, but that hardly speaks to their personalities: Kenneth is as loopy as the day is long, while Scooter is a lucid, by-the-book kind of dude. Kenneth thinks hot liquids are "the Devil's temperature." Come on.
What Lynch's comparison does speak to, though, is that however imaginative and wonderful 30 Rock is -- very, on both counts -- it's ridiculously easy to draw parallels to other shows, particularly shows-within-shows. Por ejemplo: Murphy Brown. Liz is Murphy, a stressed-out, socially disjointed boss who, while highly talented, sometimes struggles to keep it together and is prone to embarrassing meltdowns. She's flanked by a platonic dude sidekick, her balding buddy who happily plays second fiddle (Pete on 30 Rock, Frank on Murphy). There's a stuffy older fellow whose old-fashioned values and pomposity often seem out of sync with the rest of the people, but there's actually an abiding affection between him and everyone else (Jack Donaghy and Jim Dial even have the same initials!). How about the needy, spacey blonde who relies on her looks and is often the squeakiest hinge? And then there's Kenneth or Miles, the younger, easily thrown upstart who's perfect for his job -- well, perfect for the on-paper description of it; he actually spends most of his time herding cats and dealing with the petty inanity that seems to consume everyone but him.
Now I'm sort of attached to this "30 Rock is actually this other show" idea. Is Liz Mary Richards? Dana Whitaker? Larry Sanders? Hit me with your best shot, PopWatchers!
Good news, unmarried women in your late 30s -- one of you is about to hit the jackpot! Excuse me, "jackpot." Fox has picked up the pilot for a reality series called I Married a Stranger, in which "friends" and "families" of a "lonely" lady will eliminate potential suitors for her one by one. What? These people can't possibly be her real friends or real family. Who says "Uh oh, Jane's in her late 30s and unmarried -- we'd better put her on a terrible reality show! How dare she not find love? How dare she." God forbid women of a certain age end up in cozy Slankets with some bitchin' munchies, having a total blast by themselves on their couches. Ugh, the nerve! This calls for a quick poll:
Julia Louis-Dreyfus is consistently hilarious in any late-night interview. So it's fitting that the NBC veteran was Conan O'Brien's very first female guest on last night's Tonight Show. Remember when Julia stole Tina Fey's Emmy on Late Night? She stepped it up a notch last night by going for an Oscar instead, in the NBC cafeteria that is apparently run by Hurley from Lost. And what do you know? Kenneth the Page works summers in L.A.! Part 2 of Julia's segment is embedded below. 30 Rock's Jack McBrayer pops up when there's 1:45 left on the player, but you'll probably just want to watch the whole thing.
Part 1 of Julia's chat with Conan is great, too, especially her discussions of her driver's license pic and her recent photo-op with Michelle Obama. And I just have to say...Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is one of the most well-moisturized people in Hollywood. Her legs! They gleam! And I want her earrings. Hopefully no one will notice this creepy paragraph because it's under the video.
We just read the musical guest lineup for American Idol's season 8 finale and have just one question: Will Cyndi Lauper be able to sober up?
Lauper's one-liner killed on Thursday's season finale of 30 Rock. PopWatch is not suggesting Cyndi Lauper will actually be wasted.
According to mjsbigblog, Lauper might duet with Idolatry fave Allison Iraheta, and Keith Urban could be singing with Kris Allen. And there are *rumors* that the Idol producers are trying to get David Bowie to perform alongside Adam Lambert. WOULD THAT NOT BE THE GLAMMEST THING EVER? Lionel Richie, Carlos Santana, Queen Latifah, Black Eyed Peas, and David Cook are scheduled to perform Wednesday night. Carrie Underwood will perform Tuesday. Get ready.
What are you talking about? It's May. 30 Rock's season 3 is over, and the star-studded "We Need a Kidney" musical number is still in my head. Get it out! The Kidney Now! extravaganza was sweet and all, and if Alan Alda really did need a kidney he'd have a bevy of matches (for Dr. Spaceman to shoot down) by 11 p.m. But my preferred story line of the finale by far was Liz Lemon's emergence as the real-life "That's a Dealbreaker!" lady. Yes, the woman whose love life is consistently (and oh so endearingly) a disaster, who has less sexual experience than a suburban seventh grader, and who had to call upon the emotional cues of her Sims family in order to advise Jack on his daddy issues is now doling out the dealbreakers with sass 'n' style. Big time. THIS is what I want in my head all day. (Press play below.)
S. That. D. Shut it down. Dealbreaker.
More on the season finale -- plus, name your favorite quotes from season 3 -- after the jump.
As far as 30 Rock episodes go, I admittedly was of the EW minority that wasn't crazy about last week's "The Natural Order." But last night's "Mamma Mia" won me right back. C'mon, what other show could pull off turning "Mamma Mia" into a verb?! Besides Liz's unnatural joy about Jack's search for his father, which reminded her of that very "madcap musical romp...fun....good" movie, we also had Tracy playing dad to a con artist pretending to be his son (who wants nothing more than to open a dojo). We also had Steve Buscemi come back again this week to sufficiently weird us out, and Alan Alda was delightful, as usual, as Jack's likely ("Gasp. Feign surprise!") father Milton. Here, in chronological order, are the standout moments, lines, and impromptu sing-a-longs from last night's episode:
1. What family means to Jack: "Resent, guilt, anger, and Easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights."
2. "If I have learned anything from my Sims family, when a child doesn't see his father enough he starts to jump up and down, and then his mood level will drop until he pees himself."
3. Tracy making a faulty sidecar on a motorcycle for his dog.
4. Liz and Pete (more Hornberger, please!) trying to figure out Tracy's (and Samuel L. Jackson's) age:
5. Kenneth joining in for a rendition of "It Takes Two"
6. S & M magazines: Super & Magical!
7. "I will not be spoken to that way! I'm a contest winner!"
8. Milton ups the ante for shoe put-downs: "When is your cult committing suicide?"
9. Tracy may hug people too hard and get lost in malls, but hey, he's not stupid.
10. Tina's TONY cover.
What did you think, PopWatchers? Could you not resist last night's episode either? Or was Liz's fart train "a deal breaker, ladies?"
Last night, during Dancing With the Stars, I could barely focus on Derek and Lil' Kim's rehearsal segment because the snowman-esque parking garage mascot below their studio kept drawing me in. He just wanted to dance! And Derek wasn't even paying attention!
I do this way too much -- grow so obsessed with a never-acknowledged on-set "extra" that he/she/it becomes a minor character on the show. Other examples: The generic sports decor of George Michael and Maeby's model-home bedroom was a riot, but I particularly lost it whenever this framed "Baseball" tapestry popped into frame. During 30 Rock, I can never get enough of Liz Lemon's giant fork and knife wall hangings, and the "after" shot of delicious/gross fast food in her office. (It's called The Half-Eaten Lunch, and you can buy it. Thanks, EW.com) Sometimes I even pause Ugly Betty to stare at the wacky floral prints near the Suarez family's kitchen sink. THE SINK. That's sick. I can't help it!
I hate to say it, but last night's 30 Rock was nowhere near as good as it's been the past few weeks. 'The Natural Order' did have some good zingers, and an unexpected, but welcome, sentimental scene between Jack and his usually horrendous mother Colleen (the glorious Elaine Stritch). But overall, the episode was too dependent on obvious physical comedy (Jenna gets attacked by a monkey, Liz can't put a water cooler together, and Tracy wears a Cosby sweater. Okay, I actually really liked that last one.) What do you think, PopWatchers? Did 'The Natural Order' feel a little stale to you or am I just bitter that I don't get to ride a duck boat to work? Here, in chronological order, are last night's best moments:
1.Tracy pulls out an actual race card.
2. Colleen didn't want to stay at a certain hotel because someone working there "had a beard and she didn't want to get raped."
3. The word "shenanigans" is actually Celtic slang.
4. Griz, Dot Com, and Kenneth try to return a monkey by putting it in an elevator with a sign that reads: "Take me to Indonesia"
5.Colleen's boyfriend Paul "paints landscapes and makes his own soda."
6. Florida : America's Australia!
7. Lenny makes an appearance (ah, Steve Buscemi in all his wonderfully weird glory):
8. "She bit off my nut sack that I tied around my belt to feed squirrels."
While last night's "The Ones" had Slankets (note: it's not product placement if you like wearing it) and the glorious return of an episode-stealing Salma Hayek, I'm still a little partial to last week's 'Jackie Jormp-Jomp.' And while "The Ones" had an unusual amount of un-PC jabs, (isn't a Phil Spector joke too soon? Are Kent State jokes ever funny?) it did have some good character revelations about Tracy (who, during his twenty years together with his wife has never cheated on her), Jenna (not a sociopath, just an extreme narcissist) and Kenneth (see below.) Here, in chronological order, are some of our favorite moments from "The Ones":
1. The repercussions of "We should think about this" for Liz? Watching Solid Gold in her basement on prom night.
2. Liz is both "spirited, like a show horse" and "smart, like a genetically engineered shark."
3. Elisa's shaky English upon returning from Puerto Rico: "I don't have the strength to tell him to his head."
4. Kenneth's real name? Dick Whitman!
5. Tracy, Griz, and Dot Com try to come up with an effective solution to the Angie tattoo ("No judgment in brainstorming"):
Last night, during Dancing With the Stars, I could barely focus on Derek and Lil' Kim's rehearsal segment because the snowman-esque parking garage mascot below their studio kept drawing me in. He just wanted to dance! And Derek wasn't even paying attention!
