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Which classic TV lines should the Emmys honor?

Aug 13, 2008, 09:57 AM | by Gary Susman

Categories: Emmys

House2_l How nice that the TV Academy, marking a television season that was truncated while producers spent months deciding whether or not they wanted to pay writers, is honoring memorable lines of TV dialogue at this year's Emmy ceremony. According to the Hollywood Reporter, various TV personalities will be reciting classic phrases, along the lines of "Good night, John Boy," or "Live long and prosper." Let's hope the list of lines is not etched in stone yet, since I'm sure we all have plenty of suggestions for which lines they should honor, and who should say them, if the original actor isn't available. For instance, I'd love to hear Ed Asner get up there and recite his own most unforgettable line of TV dialogue: "You have spunk. I hate spunk," though I'm not sure enough viewers would recognize that one. Also, I'd be tempted to lard the list with quotes from House, since Hugh Laurie (pictured) gets better lines than just about anyone on TV. In fact, let's just save time and have the ridiculously talented Mr. Laurie recite all the lines, in whichever accent pleases him. But let's have your suggestions to the Academy below.

Jarod Holliday Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 04:37 PM EST

"Dance puppet dance."

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:39 PM EST

It's difficult to distinguish between her bite and her bark. - Jarod (The Pretender)

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:37 PM EST

Nothing that can't be denied. - Mr. Raines (The Pretender)

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:33 PM EST

Trick or treat - Jarod (The Pretender)

Lianne Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 02:15 PM EST

The Pretender:
Miss Parker:
Twitch, and I'll be washing grey matter of the walls.
Miss Parker: Peachy
I have a gun and I'll use it.
Sydney: The Centre wants him alive!
Miss Parker: Preferably.
Broots: I got your back.
Miss Parker: Ohh, now I feel better.
Miss Parker to Willie: Smoke?
Every time Miss Parker answers her phone: WHAT?!
Jarod, after miss parker answers her phone: Aaw, I intentionally wake you from you're deepest sleepfase and all I get is a lifeless 'what'?
Miss Parker to a sweeper when she sees Brigitte coming out of her office: If she's ever in my office again, I'll kill you.
"Gee, I wonder who that could be...'

Lianne Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

From The Pretender:
Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he could me in bed with his wife.

Miss Parker: PEACHY

Miss Parker: I want to kill her, not screw her!

Sydney: The Centre wants him alive!
Miss Parker: Preferably

Miss Parker: I'm the last chance saloon here, Raines

Miss Parker (@ Brigitte):
You pull a gun on me, no big deal. 'Cause I know you don't have the rocks to pull the trigger.

Miss Parker: You gonna shoot me?!
Sydney: What about that neck scarf?
Miss Parker: It's one of a kind, Sydney.
Sydney: Which is what my good leg will be if we don't stop the bleeding.

Miss Parker: YOU ARE PATHETIC!

Grey's Anatomy:
SERIOUSLY!!!

Izzie: I'm like a proud momma!

Danny: Meredith, what happened?
Meredith: I died and it sucked.

Antoinette Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 07:00 AM EST

You wheeze. I shoot. (Miss Parker)
We both recognise this notion of human equality just perpetuates mediocrity. (Mr. Lyle)
God bless the American dream. (Mr. Lyle)
I'm a lot of different things. But tonight...I'm a truck driver. (Jarod)

Antoinette Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 06:56 AM EST

The Pretender
Score one for Captain Kangaroo. (Miss Parker)
Sorry luv, don't follow. (Brigitte)
Do you want me to hurt you? (Miss Parker)
Since when do lab rats wear Hugo Boss? (Miss Parker)

Stacey Mon, Sep 15, 2008 at 09:18 AM EST

House: Who da man? I da man.

Antoinette Fri, Sep 12, 2008 at 07:15 AM EST

The Pretender

Nice boots. Snakeskin?
Uh-uh. Gator.

~~

I am sick of being a token on his gameboard.

Stacey Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 07:46 AM EST

From The Pretender
Jarod: You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 05:51 AM EST

The Pretender
Well looks aren't everything. (Broots)
Look, it's Chia me. (Broots)

Antoinette Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 05:49 AM EST

The Pretender
There's no place like home. (Miss Parker)

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:23 PM EST

The Pretender
There are pretenders among us.

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:14 PM EST

How rude! (Full House)

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:13 PM EST

The Pretender

I know that there is always hope, always. (Jarod)

A little bird has whispered into my ear that hunting season just opened, and you're the prize kill. (Miss Parker)

I'm not a psychopath. I'm a sociopath. You see, a psychopath is insane, he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. A sociopath knows the difference. He just doesn't have a conscience, you know. So he just doesn't care. (Alex)

Antoinette Mon, Sep 8, 2008 at 09:00 AM EST

Everybody lies.(House)

Antoinette Mon, Sep 8, 2008 at 08:04 AM EST

I'm not a pyschopath. I'm a sociopath. A psychopath is insane. He doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. A sociopath knows the difference. He just doesn't have a conscience. So he doesn't care. (Alex)

I'm a shrink. What do you want? (Sydney)

I think I'm going to vomit. (Miss Parker)

Rose Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

The Pretender
And I want answers. And if you don't give them to me, I'll spread the rest of you around like a download from Napster. (Mr. Lyle)
All filled up and nowhere to go? (Miss Parker)

Carlie Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 11:33 PM EST

A couple from Full House
"You Got it dude!"
"Woah Baby!"

From Bewitched
"Calling Dr Bombay Come right away, Dr Bombay"

seagull's lunch Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:20 PM EST

Broots-Have you gone crazy?
Miss Parker-Everybody has.

Miss Parker-If you're lonely call a 900 number.

Miss Parker-Well, your monkeys seem to have a bit of trouble peeling this
banana.

Miss Parker-There's one less vacantancy in hell.

Miss Parker-It's time I shook up the family tree and see who falls out.

Miss Parker- Sometimes I think you and I are the only one around here who are sane. Which doesn't say much about me.

Miss Parker- I want to kill her not screw her.

Miss Parker-Do I look like a babysitter? So, let me get this straight. They can send a man to the moon but neither of you can open Broots' system to back track to see who the leak is in this place.

nikky Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:05 PM EST

Jarod: How's life treating you ?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife .

Patrick Murphy Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 10:02 AM EST

A couple from Friends:

PHOEBE: "I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus on Prozac. At Disneyland! Getting laid!!"

RACHEL: "Just so you know, it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!"
CHANDLER: "I KNEW IT!!!!"

From Sex and the City:
CHARLOTTE: "I don't think I can do a number 2 at a guy's house."
SAMANTHA: "Honey, you're so uptight, you need to do a number 7!"

From Entourage:

TURTLE: "Did you just get c***blocked by Bob Saget?"

And the ever-quotable Norm Peterson from Cheers:

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"Let's talk about what's going IN Mr. Peterson?"

"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"Nah, I know what the look like."

"What'll you have, Norm?"
"Oh, just give me whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer."
"Call me Mr. Lucky."

"Hey Normie. How's life in the fast lane?"
"Can't say, Sammy. I'm having trouble finding the on-ramp."

Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:43 AM EST

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:17 AM EST


From The Pretender

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.


This was used on "Cheers" first, with Sam (Ted Danson) and Norm (George Wendt)

Mac Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:39 AM EST

Miss Parker-"If any of you Munshkins starts to sing I drop the house on you!"- The Pretender
Miss Parker: Maybe I should send you to every Y.M.C.A. in the country first. Or lock you in the Bates Motel with Sydney and Broots.
Jarod: This is about that strip search in Las Vegas, isn't it?
Dr.: Jarod, why don't you tell the group what brought you here?
Jarod: A large cop with bad breath.

nightowl Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:52 AM EST

Miss Parker: You mean a shrink, don't you? Thanks Syd, but I'll leave the mental masturbation to someone else. (Pretender)
Miss Parker: Cousin It woke up and remembered he was Liberace.
Miss Parker: [to Broots] You look like you need to change your pamper.
Miss Parker: [Referring to her nicotine patch] The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it.

nightowl Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:47 AM EST

Jarod: Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone. (the Pretender)
Sandi: Are you telling me you've never been to a strip club before? You know, strange men cramming sweaty wads of cash into strange women's panties?
Jarod: I think I would remember THAT.
Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too? (the Pretender)
Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her. (the Pretender)

Bucky Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:41 AM EST

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.
Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.
Broots: First there's the explosion in the D.C. underground. The there's Miss Parker seeing visions, and the Mr. Raines getting murdered, then unmurdered. And then Mr. Lyle, who used to not have a thumb, getting a thumb and Mr. Raines, who had a thumb, losing his thumb to Mr. Lyle. And then finding out that not only one pretender escaped from the Centre. No, three of them did. And then trying to locate a live psychiatrist, only to find a dead doc and being arrested by a guy who's not really a federal agent. Oh, and while we're at it, why don't we just throw Mr. Parker into the mix?

Zipp Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

the Pretender:

Alex: Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

"Does he ever talk about me?"
"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.

Jarod: And that physique what is it? Body by Chili Dog?

He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Miss Parker.

Star Trek:

Beam me up
Resistance is futile
Space the final frontier.
Energize.
Make it so.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:53 AM EST

The Pretender
Jarod: Subtlety is a virtue in any form.

Jarod: Because I still rememeber the little girl who gave me my first kiss.

Miss Parker: Was it the blood you were worried about or the truth?

Jarod: Nowhere, anywhere, already been somewhere.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:49 AM EST

Miss Parker: I have a gun, and I'll use it. (The Pretender)

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:47 AM EST

Miss Parker: Do you hear that Broots? Pigs are flying.

Christine Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 11:39 AM EST

The Pretender, Season 2, Episode 12- Toy Suprise

Miss Parker: "I want to kill her, not screw her"

Broots: "I got your back"
Miss Parker: " Ohh, now I feel better"

Broots: "I found something bizarre."
Miss Parker: "What, like hair on your head? "
Broots: "No, that would be fantasy. This is real."

Giuseppe: "So full of anger!"
Miss Parker: "That's my religion."


Jarod: "You make the rules."
Miss Parker: "That's just the way I like it."

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:52 AM EST

The Pretender
Miss Parker: Did you know that everytime you call me 'sis', someone either dies or disappears?

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:46 AM EST

Miss Parker: I spend 80% of my life hunting you and the second I stop you sit down in my lap!
---
Sydney: How do you think he will hold up?
Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?


Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:37 AM EST

The Pretender
Mr. Dansen: You’re unattached, aren’t you.
Miss Parker: As unattached as your limbs are gonna be if you keep by eye-balling me like that, Mr. Dansen.

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:36 AM EST

The only thing I believe is if Lyle brings in Jarod instead of me -Fenigore won’t be the supplier to the 'organ of the month' club. (Miss Parker from The Pretender)

S Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:34 AM EST

The Pretender
Sydney: How do you think he will hold up?
Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?

Wed, Aug 27, 2008 at 10:34 AM EST

I do not understand the question and I won't respond to it. --Lucille Bluth

DAP Sun, Aug 24, 2008 at 12:08 PM EST

From Sanford & Son
Fred Sanford:
"Dummie".....
"You're just dumb, son".....
"I'll give you 5 of these across the lips"....

Debbie Sun, Aug 24, 2008 at 11:58 AM EST

If you start speaking in tongues, I'll send you to the next life right here and now. - Miss Parker, The Pretender, Ghosts from the Past.

Rachel A. Sat, Aug 23, 2008 at 06:34 AM EST

More quotes from The Pretender :

Mr. Cox :" Well, you are a washer, I hope?
Broots :"Oh yeah. Always. Before and after."
Mr. Cox :"[...]because cleanliness is truth Mr. Broots...cleanliness is truth...

(Brigitte just died in childbirth):
Mr. Cox : "I see I'm too late for the Lamaze"

Purple Giraffe Sat, Aug 23, 2008 at 06:23 AM EST

(The Pretender)

Mr. Parker - "Trust Me Angel"
---------------------------------
Broots - "A key?"
Miss Parker - "Yeah.A piece of metal with teeth on it.You know, those of us that have evolved beyond fire and wheels use it to unlock doors."
---------------------------------
Miss Parker - "WHAT?"
---------------------------------
Miss Parker - "Well, Hitler should have taken up yoga".
---------------------------------
Miss Parker (to Sydney): "You mean a shrink, don't you? Thanks Syd, but I'll leave the mental masturbation to someone else."
------------------------------
Miss Parker: [Referring to her nicotine patch] "The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it. "
---------------------------------

The bearded womant Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 07:09 AM EST


From The Pretender :


Jarod - ...trust me!
Argyle - Trust you?No YOU listen to me! Trust... trust!Great word right?Trust!It's on every coin, every bill, every buck and every barn in this country and it's still the one thing that you still can't buy!

The bearded woman Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 06:30 AM EST


Miss Parker: You shouldn't underestimate Jarod. And you should never underestimate me. And the next time that you send me into a building that is gonna explode, it had better blow, because if it doesn't it's gonna be your gray matter they will be mopping up with a toothbrush.

The bearded woman Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 06:26 AM EST

From The Pretender :

Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots.
Broots: Sydney.
Miss Parker: You're looking... refreshed.
Sydney: New underpants will do that to you.
[Miss Parker and Broots look at each other silently]
Miss Parker: Sydney, you made a funny.
Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date.
Broots: You had a date!
Miss Parker: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard.
[to Sydney]
Miss Parker: So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are "your" underpants?

willie Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 08:51 PM EST

Lyle: "What in the hell are you smoking? Why is it that everytime your planets
don't quite line up, you go right to the conspiracy card and come after me?"
Miss Parker: "You want donkey spit, you find an ass."

Miss Parker: "Why don't you shove your nine fingers where the sun don't shine."
Lyle: "I'd love to, but that would still leave me one to get tanned.
"Actually, it's a pre-owned model, but I got a great deal on it, considering
Mr. Raines wasn't using it anymore."
Broots: "You harvested Mr. Raines' thumb?"
Lyle: "Waste not want not. Don't worry about Dad, he'll show up sooner or later."
(chases after the Asian women he was talking to earlier) "Ladies. . ."
Miss Parker: "Just can't trust a man with a stolen thumb. Check Frankenstein's phone records."

the pretender

willie Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 08:49 PM EST

Miss Parker: "You've got something to say lady, say it!"
Brigitte: "Emotions are making you soft"
Miss Parker: "What would you know about emotions?"
Brigitte: "At least I know how to protect the ones I love!"
Miss Parker: "Yeah, the Triunvirate says 'jump' and you say 'on who'"


Miss Parker to Broots: "Well, for starters, hell hasn't frozen over,
pigs aren't flying and you're not the last man on earth."

"Well, Hitler should have taken up yoga."

The Pretender

Kate Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 10:45 AM EST

Firefly

"Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle"

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:19 AM EST

From The Pretender

Miss Parker: " Since when do you hate to fly? "
Broots: " I don't hate to fly. I hate to barf. "

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:17 AM EST

From The Pretender

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:16 AM EST

From The Pretender

Sydney : "Raines, what happened to you?"
Raines : "Too many cigarets...not enough vacation"

Fan of Words Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 02:42 AM EST

Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
"Bitca?" - Xander
"Five by five." - Faith
"I wear the cheese. It does not wear me." - Cheese Man epi78.
"Whisper in a dead man's ear,It doesn't make it real." & "There's a traitor here beneath my breast
" & "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest"- Spike epi107
ANGEL
"We all have something to atone for." Doyle
"Fight the good fight - whichever way you can." Angel epi9
"A hart."- Wesely "It's not a heart, it's a bambi." -Cordelia epi43
"We die horribly and painfully, *you* go to hell and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus." Gunn 44
"-I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time *you* waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken! I mean, why is it no one ever cares about *my* destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about me, me, me. Well, what about my me? My me's important." Lorne epi49

Antoinette Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 03:06 PM EST

A sharp mind left idle can become a very sharp weapon indeed. - Sydney (The Pretender)

Donna Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:52 PM EST

Spike to Angel (BUFFY) "You think you can fool me! You were my sire, man! You were my...Yoda!"

nightowl Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

I'd love to see a show where House meets Miss Parker. Both can throw zingers and not bat an eye.

BtVS/Ats writers rule Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:25 AM EST

Once More With Feelings... all of it!

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.

ILLYRIA: A corrupted ruler on such a path sees treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates and will eventually turn against them.
SPIKE: Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate. Except that one...

Riley: Morning, Mrs. Summers. You look great.
Joyce: Oh, thank you, Riley.
Buffy: Suck up.
Riley: What? It's a nice outfit.
Buffy: Mmmm-hmmm.
Riley: Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. I'm not sure why.

Olaf: I've told you a thousand times, I have no interest in this Rannveig. Her hips are large and load-bearing, like a Baltic woman. Your hips are narrow, like a Baltic woman, from a slightly more arid region.

Jenna Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:15 AM EST

SPIKE:You listen to me.I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that.I've seen things you couldn't imagine,and done things I prefer you didn't.I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker.I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain.So I make a lot of mistakes,a lot of wrong bloody calls.A 100+ years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you.-I'm not asking you for anything. When I say,"I love you,"it's not because I want you or because I can't have you.It has nothing to do with me.I love what you are, what you do, how you try.I've seen your kindness and your strength.I've seen the best and the worst of you.And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.You're a hell of a woman.You're the one,Buffy.
SPIKE:Oh,listen to Mary Poppins.He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancyboy accent.You Englishmen are always so-Bloody hell!Sodding,blimey,shagging,knickers, bollocks,oh God!I'm English!

Mer Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:11 AM EST

The Buffy writers deserve all the props they can get.

ANYA: I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch - ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.
Th Ben is Glory and Glory is Ben scene.
Spike’s last scene in Beneath You.
Buffy: "...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!'"
Oz: "So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?"
Oz: "Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy."

seagull's lunch Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 07:38 PM EST

The Pretender

"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

"I want to kill her not screw her!"

Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too?

"He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Parker"

Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

Jean Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 05:56 PM EST

BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!

alex reager Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 04:20 PM EST

Simpson's Comic Book Guy: Worst Episode Ever.

Buffy: After saving a helpless young man that was being chased by a vampire, "But you're just a girl." Buffy responds, "That's what I keep saying."

muniav Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 04:04 PM EST

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."--WKRP

Justin Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:22 PM EST

Dude I 100& agree with you with ever-so-talented Mr. Laurie to deliver his super smart House lines (or any lame line you shove into his face he can make it sound smooth for that matter)

For me, thrown in some House, Scrubs, or Friends lines in there and it'll seal the deal. This classic TV line gimmick would make the Emmys freaking entertaining.

"Everybody Lies"
"Read less, more TV"

Tate Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 02:56 PM EST

"HEEYYYY YOOOUU GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!'


- Rita Moreno, The Electric Company

Kevin T. Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 02:40 PM EST

"We were on a BREAK!"
- Ross to Rachel on NBC's "Friends"

murphy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 01:31 PM EST

The Pretender:
"Does he ever talk about me?"
"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.

Jarod: And that physique what is it? Body by Chili Dog?

He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Miss Parker.

idigress Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 12:39 PM EST

I am late to the game, but I love thses from "The Closer".

"with me Sargaent"
"Thank you, thank you very much"

both lines from Brenda

Laura Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 12:01 PM EST

"It's very simple. Raines dead, me happy"
-Miss Parker, The Pretender

Stacey Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 11:02 AM EST

"Ice cream is good!" - Jarod (The Pretender)

Stacey Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 11:00 AM EST

"It's very simple. Raines dead, me happy." - Miss Parker

matt Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:46 AM EST

"Condoms, Rose! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!" - Dorothy Zbornak, The Golden Girls

"God'll getcha for that, Walter!" - Maude Findlay, Maude

So I'm a Bea Arthur fanboy. Sue me.

DM Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:42 AM EST

Up your nose with a rubber hose!
(Welcome Back Kotter)

Tim Duffy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:31 AM EST

From Mr. Show:

"It's insane, this guy's taint."

j-nine Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:20 AM EST

Frasier when Niles goes to the society ball:
Lacey [with husband]: If there's anything we can do to cheer you up, just let us know.
Niles: [aside] Perhaps a murder-suicide pact.

Amy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:11 AM EST

Na-Nu Na-Nu & Shazbot -Mork & Mindy
By your command - BSG
'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

mmmm dohnuts Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:12 AM EST

CINDY: Hey! The pills you got Max hooked on live with the Tidy Bowl man now.
MAX: Oh, please tell me you're not one of those people -- Because a raindrop fell in the ocean 10,000 years ago and a butterfly farted in India, you and I are sitting right here right now enjoying a cup of coffee that tastes like goat piss. 

MAX: You're such a gentleman… Too bad I'm not a lady.

LOGAN: When some girls don't eat dinner they get real cranky.
ORIGINAL CINDY: By the way, some of those black-helicopter storm-trooper folks stopped by, asking about a transgenic teenage killing machine... I said you were out.
MAX: What is it with guys and lesbians anyway? I mean, what's so damn fascinating about being unwanted by the opposite sex?
MAX: You know, only a bored, rich, liberal, white guy would piss away a fortune to prove he wasn't a bored, rich, liberal, white guy....



mmmm dohnuts Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:05 AM EST

What about Dark Angel?!
EYES ONLY: Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city.
MAX: Kendra, this is a motorcycle. Its sole reason for being is to go fast, very fast. Not for you to use as a clothesline. Now, make no mistake. I love you as a friend and a roommate, but I love my motorcycle more. Stay away from the bike, okay?
MAX: Girls kick ass. Says so on the T-shirt.
NORMAL: Well, well, well . . . so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died . . . again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence? 
MAX: I overslept.

Rose Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 08:47 AM EST

The Pretender
'Don't look at me, I watch soaps.' Sydney

jill Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 05:27 PM EST

"Kiss my grits!"

Booth Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 12:15 PM EST

"Maybe a dingo ate your baby" - Elaine, Seinfeld

Rose Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 09:02 AM EST

The Pretender:-
Miss Parker: Broots... I'm flattered. In fact it's kinda sweet. But it's never gonna happen.
(To luis: pretendercentre)

D Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 12:44 AM EST

FROM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

BREE: REX CRIES WHEN HE EJACULATES.

luis Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 08:04 PM EST

im glad for so many fan of the pretender serie .im a fan from mexico and here is hard to find someone who knows about it , so im tryng to find more episode, couse i have only watched the first 2 season and the 2001 movie so im waiting to watch them all apecial the next 5 tempor

k Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 05:25 PM EST

Xander: Some pals of Buffy's took her stuff and now she wants us to help get it back... from her friends who sleep all day and have no tans.

zipp Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 03:28 PM EST

Pretender:
Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

I want to kill her not screw her.

Dance puppet dance

How's life treating you?
Like he caught me in bed with his wife

Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too?

lilrebelgirl01 Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 02:35 PM EST

"Back in St. Olaf..." [Rose, The Golden Girls]
"Picture it Sicily..." [Sophia, The Golden Girls]
"Absu****inglutely" [Big, Sex and the City]
"So what, no f**kin' ziti now?" [A.J., The Sopranos]

S'poseTaBeWorkin' Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 02:16 PM EST

"So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you. But for us today is today because we can't remember that yesterday was today, right?" -- Gabrielle in "Been There, Done That" (Xena - Season 3) Watch Xena via Instant Watch at Netflix.com (You'll be very glad you did)

tonderk Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 01:04 PM EST

Friends: Monica - Who's coming along in a what now?!
Rachel - Isn't that just spit on your neck, kick you in the crotch fantastic?
Things just got interesting!
Incredible Hulk - You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Braby Bunch - Pork chops and applesauce.
Supernatural - Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
And of course...
What you talking bout Willis?

Jeanne Bush Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 01:02 PM EST

The Pretender
Life is a gift ~ Jarod

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:13 PM EST

Sneaking in downwind...clever. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:10 PM EST

Move over, Hemingway. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:06 PM EST

Broke it mud wrestling. What'd you do last night? - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:05 PM EST

What?!! - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Lon Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:01 PM EST

"Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the Police Academy...." Charlie's Angels

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 11:50 AM EST

They didn't let you have a weapon, did they? - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
I finally find some peace of mind and you want to lobotomise it. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 11:48 AM EST

I’m as unattached as your limbs are going to be if you keep eyeballing me like that. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
If you're thinking of jumping, I suggest you go up on the roof and do it right. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
Hell is hell, Broots - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
It's Cousin It!! - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Kris Russel Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 10:24 AM EST

The Pretender:
Live is a gift. - Jarod
Since when do lab rats wear Hugo Boss? - Miss Parker
You sold your soul to save your ass. I just hope you don't get burned by the guy with the horns and the little red pitch-fork. - Miss Parker
Doesn't anybody ever really die anymore? - Miss Parker
Geez, I am so underpaid. - Broots
It's called crap, Lyle, and as full of it as you are I'm sure you have some to spare. - Miss Parker
Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone. - Jarod

Mark M. Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 09:40 AM EST

"It's a moo point. It's a cow's opinion, so it doesn't matter. It's moo."
Joey from Friends

Doug Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 04:57 AM EST

"Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."

Sam Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 01:59 AM EST

I resent this. The only person who should have to pay for a bad relationship is the person in your next relationship. -- Miranda, Sex and the City

Marcus Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:01 PM EST

From Friday Night Lights

Tim Riggins: Here's to God and football and, ten years from now, Street, good friends livin' large in Texas.
Tim: Texas forever buddy, Street.
Jason Street: Texas forever.

Brian Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:38 PM EST

The Wire- Bunk "The bigger the lie, the more they believe it"- sums up so many levels of that show

Brian Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:34 PM EST

DS9- I just enjoyed it. I literally have a million just from the wire, so i wrote a portion of one. My other million are from the simpsons, so I am already well represented. Nice sense of humor.

Alex Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:30 PM EST

"I HAD A WOOT CANAW!" - CJ, The West Wing

mb Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:19 PM EST

"To the moon, Alice!"

PS ds- isn't that the point. . . because they liked them, and therefore have merit to the viewer??

DS9Sisko Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:12 PM EST

Brian,

After reading the dozens of random lines that so many people have been pulling out of their arses just because they liked them regardless of their merit, Livia's brilliant "pep talk" is 100 times better than "Five by Five" or as someone said "any use of 'Brother' by Desmond on 'Lost'." LOL

Michelle Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:11 PM EST

"It's never lupus!" - House

"Aaaaaaaal!" - Peg Bundy

"Giggidy Giggidy!" - Quagmire, The family guy

Todd Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:11 PM EST

1. "NORM!!!!"
2. Charlie Pace on LOST: "Where are we?"

marie Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:05 PM EST

"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!" - Jan Brady

"Poverty is a great motivator." - Carmela Soprano

"Happy birthday, Jesus. Sorry your party is so lame!" - Michael Scott

Emily Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:52 PM EST

Lucy, you got a lotta 'splainin' to do! - Desi

newbiemc Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:50 PM EST

The X-Files

"Trust no one." - Deep throat

Deeds Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:43 PM EST

Homer (The Simpsons): Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything that's even remotely true!

Dwight (The Office): You can't fire me, I don't work in this van!

Dean (Supernatural): Demons I get. . .people are crazy!

Leo (The West Wing): Andrew Jackson, in the main foyer of his White House, had a big block of cheese.

Michelle Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:18 PM EST

From Supernatural:
Dean: I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!

The Office:
"That's what she said."

Sex and the City:
"It's really hard to walk in a single woman's shoes -- that's why you sometimes need really special shoes!" ~ Carrie Bradshaw

The Simpsons:
Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

laylagalise Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:02 PM EST

"It's never lupus." - House, 'House'

From "The Office" (original):
"I sort of fused Flashdance with MC Hammer sh*t." -David Brent, 'The Office'
"...Then I can make that dream come true, to, AKA, for you." David Brent, 'The Office'

"They're called illusions, Michael. Tricks are what whores do for money." -Gob, 'Arrested Development'

From "The Dick Van Dyke Show":
"It's just like my Aunt Agnes used to say..." -Sally
"Oh, Rob!" -Laura

From 'The Wire':
"You come at the king, you best not miss." -Omar
"A life, Jimmy. You know what that is? It's the sh*t that happens while you're waiting for moments that never come." -Lester
"All the pieces matter." -Lester
"Don't burn your bridges unless you are sure you can part the water." -Norman
"What'd I do?" -McNulty
"A man must have a code." -Bunk
"The king stays the king." -D'Angelo
Stringer's 40 degree day speech

From "Homicide: LOTS":
"Blind faith is for fools." -Pembleton
"There are no absolutes in life; only vodka." -Kellerman

nightowl Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:36 PM EST

STNG
Riker: "Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named "Enterprise."

MP Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:33 PM EST

"Life is one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead."

nightowl Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:29 PM EST

Star Trek, Next Gen
"Make it so."
"Captain, I sense he's lying."
"Fate. It protects fools, little children, and ships named "Enterprise."

Brian Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:14 PM EST

I Claudius speech would be the perfect pithy line. j/k

DS9Sisko Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:02 PM EST

"I have a few words to say to you before these games begin. Gather round. Now, these games are being held in the honor of my son, Druus Nero who is worth the whole lot of you put together. It's my intention that these games will be remembered long after you are all dead and forgotten even by your nearest and dearest. You're all scum and you know it, but you've a chance here -- some of you -- to prove that you're a bit more than that. And for those whom death doesn't liberate, there will be plenty of freedoms handed out afterward., to say nothing of gold plated coin. But...I want a good show. I want my money's worth. I don't want any kiss in the rin stuff. And I don't want my family watching two grown men pussyfooting around in the ring before a real blow has been landed, there has been too much of that in the past. And don't think you can fool me either because I know every trick in the book. Including the pig's blood in the bladder, to make it look as if one of you is dead. There's...

DS9Sisko Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:01 PM EST

"...been too much of that too lately. These games are being degraded by the use of professional tricks to stay alive! And I won't have it! So put on a good show, and there will be plenty of money for the living...and a decent burial for the dead. And if not..I'll break this guild up! And I'll send the lot of you to the mines in Numidia. That's all I've got to say to you." -- Livia's pep talk to the gladiators from I, Claudius

Brian Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:58 PM EST

Any of the first lines from The Wire especially the snot boogie story from episode one- "This is America man!"

Hannah Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:54 PM EST

I haven't seen it so far and it's the first thing that popped into my head: "Lord, beer me strength." - Jim Halpert

sdk Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:43 PM EST

"I bent my wookie"
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's when I'm a Viking!"
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."

The wisdom of Ralph Wiggum

MP Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:41 PM EST

LOVE those deadwood quotes. Add to "Welcome to fuckin' Deadwood." The followup line is "It CAN be combattive."

Sadie Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:32 PM EST

How could I forget "Kiss my grits!"

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:20 PM EST

I'll second "If the apacolypse comes, beep me" from Buffy. It sums up the show nicely. Damn shame that show never won an emmy.

Kai- Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:26 PM EST

From season 1 of Desperate Housewives... Edie says to Susan in the honky-tonk bar. "What the hell kind of street do we live on?"

John Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:21 PM EST

I can't believe there has been no deadwood referense

--Deadwood--
"God rest the souls of that poor family... and p*ssy's half price for the next 15 minutes." - Al Swearengen

"Now, here's my counter offer to your counter offer - go f**k yourself!" - Al Swearengen

and of course

"Welcome to f*cking Deadwood!" - Al Swearengen

kyle Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:14 PM EST

Ross Gellar- "We were on a break!"
Homer Simpson- "D'ho!!"
Faith (BTVS)- "Five by Five"
Dexter Morgan- "Tonights the night"

Kathryn Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:10 PM EST

"Your lips say no, but your shoes says 'yes!" -House
"They're French; you can't trust anything they sat."-Wilson
****
"I hate sports metaphors" Cameron
****

Sadie Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:06 PM EST

"I don't talk trash, I talk smack; they are totally different." -- The Office
"Die, die, die!" -- Will & Grace
"Well, well, well..." -- Will & Grace
"Potato, tomato." -- My Name is Earl

I'm loving reading all of these lines!!

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:39 PM EST

Meredith from Grey's Anatomy: You don't get to call me a whore! When I met you, I thought I had met the person I would spend then rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues... who cared? Because I was done. You left me! You chose Addison! I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore!

kate Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:35 PM EST

"I believe we can be extraordinary together rather than ordinary apart" Meredith to Derek on Grey's Anatomy

Joe Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:20 PM EST

"Save the cheerleader, save the world" is actually from Heroes, not Lost. Just saying. And my nomination would go to Charlie in the first episode of Lost: "Guys, where are we?" Is there a line that sums up that show more completely?

BenM Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:16 PM EST

"Damnit!"
Jack Bauer, 24

travlncarrie Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:54 PM EST

"Save the cheerleader, save the world!" -Lost

"Bring me the thong of Lisa Cuddy." -House (okay, there are thousands to choose from with House).

lizz Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:50 PM EST

NO SOUP FOR YOU!
-Seinfeld
There's no I in team... but there's a me if you jumble it up.
-House

JShed Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:46 PM EST

Stop looking at my vajay jay- Grey's Anatomy

E-A-G-L-E!!- Scrubs

Phil Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:43 PM EST

"Guys -- where are we?!"
Charlie, Lost

"The Others are coming."
Rousseau, Lost

"This is Dr. Frasier Crane signing off. Goobye Seattle" [everyone watching the show collectively weeps]
Frasier, Frasier

"The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli."
George, Seinfeld

"Come on!"
GOB, Arrested Development

soph Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:44 PM EST

House- "I thought you said everybody lies?" "I was lying"
House to Wilson- I know you're in there, I can hear you caring"
House- did you two shower together? NO! Double negative, it's a yes
Friends' Ross- PIVOT
Chandler- Shut up, shut up, shut uuuuup
Joey- I'm Chandler, could I be wearing anymore clothes.
Chandler- Oh my god that is so not the opposite of stealing someone's underwear
Phoebe- Oh my god. how can you let him talk to your crotch like that?
Rachel- He's talking to the baby
Phoebe- Oh ok. because when he said i can't wait to hear your first words I thought there's a trick.
Chandler- Well why dont you check one of my saddlebags while I chew on a bail of hay
Phoebe- Sorry boys this rides closing
Ross- Aww love. L.O.V.E. love. l is for life and what is life without love...... Eeeeeee (makes me laugh so much the way Ross says that)
Jill- and you, i throw myself at you and you say no? how gay are you
Ross- i too am the man. i too am just a love machine.

Ginger Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:14 PM EST

the Pretender:
Miss Parker-It's crystal clear. You sold your soul to save your ass. I just hope you don't get burned by the guy with the horns and the little red pitch fork

MP. I want to kill her not screw her.
Did you eat the whole onion for breakfast?
Jaord: -I'm not big on bride's in black leather. Although, this a certain enjoyment irony in it.

nightowl Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:05 PM EST

Star Trek-
Space the final frontier
Pretender-
=I want to kill her not screw her
=Not as cheesy as the first but it definitely has chedder
=Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

Captain Average Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:02 PM EST

Casey McCall: John Rocker is a doofus!
Dan Rydell: John Rocker is a big honkin' doofus [Sports Night]

Buffy Summers: If the apocalypse comes, beep me! [Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Andy the Android: I am prepared to grovel. [Quark]

JK Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:58 PM EST

Any use of "Brother" by Desmond in Lost.

dedanann Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:51 PM EST

"Holy Frozen bad guys!" Jack O'Neill- Stargate SG1

Jon Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:38 PM EST

"To alcohol! The cause of and solution to all of life's problems." - Homer Simpsons
"I'm a monster!" - Buster Bluth
"Look at banner, Michael!" - GOB Bluth
"Everyday takes figuring out all over again how to f****** live." - Calamity Jane
"To the people I love. Nothing else matters." - Tony Soprano

Lisa Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:25 PM EST

"Master of my domain" - Seinfeld
*
"It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. Bet they don't have a rock this big." - Buffy the Vampire Slayer
*
"Danger, Will Robinson!" - Lost in Space
*
"Resistance is futile" - Star Trek TNG
*
"Trust no one" - X-Files
"The truth is out there" - X-Files
*
"Save the cheerleader, save the world." - Heroes
*
"What are you doing here? Five words or less."
"Out. For. A. Walk... B!tch."
- Buffy the Vampire Slayer

greg Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:19 PM EST

I have about 600 or so at my quotes blog... I tried picking a favorite but couldn't..

www.tvguyquotes.blogspot.com

Antoinette Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 02:06 PM EST

I yam what I yam - Popeye

Brian Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:57 PM EST

"OH MY GOD, THEY KILLED KENNY!"

-- Stan and Kyle from the only show that matters, "South Park".

Antoinette Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:33 PM EST

Gee Syd, I know you’re blind. I just didn’t realise that deaf and dumb came with the package. (Miss Parker) The Pretender

Antoinette Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:25 PM EST

The question is, "What becomes of us when we have all our answers?" (Jarod) The Pretender

Antoinette Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:24 PM EST

It would give me great pleasure to perform Raines' autopsy before he is dead. (Miss Parker) The Pretender

Mike Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:21 PM EST

"Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't quit. You go in everyday and do it half-assed. That is the American Way" - Homer J. Simpson.

NineDaves.com Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:16 PM EST

am i the only one who feels like this is going to be one long annoying montage?

Penny Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:16 PM EST

"Sorry about that, Chief!!"-Get Smart
"To the moon, Alice, to the moon!!"-Honeymooners
"Tish, you spoke French!!"-Addams Family
"Lucy? I'm home!!!"-I Love Lucy

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:14 PM EST

'Jane you ignorant slut'

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:07 PM EST

Wait a minute, you don't think people will remember, "You have spunk. I hate spunk." I'm in my 20s and that's one of my favorite TV lines.

bracgirl Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:03 PM EST

From The Pretender
Miss Parker: "Cinch up your longjohns, boys, we're heading north."
Miss Parker: "I want to kill her not screw her."

Lauren Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:56 PM EST

Um, hello? What about SNL classic lines:
"Well isn't that special"
"Party on, Wayne. Party on, Garth"
"SCHWING!"
"We're here to PUMP - YOU UP"
"That's the ticket"
"I live in a van down by the river"
"Candy gram"

leroy1996 Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:50 PM EST

If there is a subcategory for best tirade, it would be Julia's "The Night the Lights Went out in Georgia" tirade on "Designing Women."

Alex Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:48 PM EST

"Thongs." - Jack Bristow

BMA Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM EST

"What the frak?!?" (BSG)

"It eats you starting with your bottom" (Buffy)

"Everything they do is so dramatic and flamboyant….It just makes me want to set myself on fire." (Arrested Development)

Sari Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:33 PM EST

W&G--Grace mentions that she and guest star MIra Sorvino could be twins and Karen says, "Sure, like Dennis and Randy Quaid are twins--

OlBlueEyes Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:26 PM EST

Here's a real memorable one....(when Xena was pregnant)
Ares: I never knew you were looking for a father.
Xena: I'm not.
Ares: Well then someone clearly has the job.
Xena: Yeah, Gabrielle.
Ares: I would have paid to see that...

WOMO Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:24 PM EST

1: Don't tell me what I can't do!! Locke on Lost

kim Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:22 PM EST

Babylon 5:
"Ivanova is always right. I will listen to Ivanova. I will not ignore Ivanova's recommendations. Ivanova is God. And if this ever happens again, Ivanova will personally rip your lungs out. Babylon Control out. [Sigh] Civilians. [Looking up] Just kidding about the God part -- no offense."
"I can only conclude that I'm paying off karma at a vastly accelerated rate."

CarolinaGirl70 Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:18 PM EST

"I have many skills!" - Xena (Lucy Lawless) or anything spoken by either of the main characters on the show (Xena or Gabrielle - Renee O'Connor)

Rebecca Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:13 PM EST

From How I Met Your Mother:
Barney:"It's going to be legen-wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the second part of this word is-DAIRY. LEGENDARY!"

Barney: "Haaaave you met Ted?"

Gilmore Girls:
Lorelai "Oy with the poodles already!"

Friends:
Joey "I'm Chandlier Bing, could I be wearing anymore clothes?"

Grey's Anatomy
Meredeth: "Seriously?"

fab Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:02 PM EST

Will and grace:
Karen: are we outside again.
Lorraine:Because I have a diamond tiara up my bum

Laura Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:47 AM EST

That's what she said

-Michael on The Office

Stacey Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:43 AM EST

"The Pretender"
Jarod: Now I'm trying to understand this. You dress up in a rented costume, and you pretend to be a dead singer?

Thien Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:43 AM EST

"She's scary, you're pathetic; why does Scary needs Pathetic" - House

".....Oh My GOD You're Sleeping With Me!" - House

"I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU!" - House

just some on top of my head right now

Stacey Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:41 AM EST

"The Pretender"
Miss Parker: Make up your mind Sydney. Be a scientist or a mommy. You can't be both.
Mr Parker: Your sister's chasing ghosts and you're hunting a monster. Last one alive wins.
Jarod: Give me back my PEZ!!
Miss Parker:That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other of a computer keyboard.
Jarod:Think hell, with nicer furniture.
Mr. Lyle:You forget. Before I found myself thumbless in the desert I was head rat at the cheese factory.
Miss Parker:Doesn’t anybody ever really die anymore?
Broots: Geez, I am so underpaid.
Jarod: Nowhere, anywhere, already been somewhere.
Jarod: I'm just someone who is looking for a little happily ever after myself.
Miss Parker: Sex, Broots, the word is sex.
Miss Parker:It's called crap, Lyle, and as full of it as you are I'm sure you have some to spare.
Jarod:Technically, you're right, but I do enjoy that ER program.
Miss Parker:With that kind of input, who knows we may find him masquerading as a postal worker

cordy Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:24 AM EST

"I've made a Huge mistake"
"Hey brother"
-from AD have to be there, and the emmy's are good to them so they probably will.

"marry me!"
"I'm afraid I just blue myself"
"Annyong"
are ones that would be awesome to be included

C Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:20 AM EST

Buffy to Giles: You have but face.

Brian on Ghost Hunters: DUDE, RUN!

bono Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:08 AM EST

House: Better be careful. I have a full bladder and I'm not afraid to use it.

House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.

House: I kidnaped you and you're surprised I lied to you?

House: So syphilis prevents domestic violence. I'm gonna be even more attractive to the ladies.

House: Loss of free will. I like it. Maybe we can get Thomas Aquinas in for a consult.

House: First, 'Hector does go rug' is a lame anagram. Want a better one for Gregory House? 'Huge ego, sorry.'

House: Idiots are fun. No wonder every village wants one.

House: Run him for everything you can think of: lepto, schisto, hemo, and the fourth Marx Brother nobody ever heard of.

bono Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 11:04 AM EST

House: How does someone just start drooling? Chase? Were you wearing your short shorts?

House: People don't change. For example, I'm gonna keep on repeating 'people don't change'.

House: If you're considering grabbing my ass, don't start anything you can't finish.

House: I didn't invite you to be nice; I invited you because bowling isn't one of the two things guys do by themselves.

House: Read less, more TV.

House: The nameless poor have a face, and it's a pompous white man.

House: You let her greedy fingers right into my cookie jar. Which, sadly, is not as dirty as it sounds.

House: When guys have brain/crotch problems, it's usually the result of using one too much and the other too little.

House: Are you ... comparing me to God? I mean, that's great, but just so you know, I've never made a tree.

House: You know me. Hostility makes me shrink up like a ... I can't think of a non-sexual metaphor.

House: Very noble gesture. My favorite kind - dramatic, yet completely empty.

Jason Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:59 AM EST

"I Ross take thee Rachel" - Friends
"Yada yada yada" - Seinfeld
"Seriously" - Grey's Anatomy
"Haaave you met Ted?" - How I Met Your Mother
"See you in another life, brother" - LOST
"Pick me. Choose me. Love me." - Grey's Anatomy
"Well I got gonorhea" - Seinfeld
"I'm listening" - Frasier
"What's next?" - The West Wing
"It's the age old question. How much do really want to know about our neighbors?" - Desperate Housewives
"That's what she said" - The Office
"It was a little pitchy" - Randy Jackson

Cece Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:44 AM EST

I'm sorry, but the best lines come from Buffy.

Dawn's in trouble again? Must be Tuesday.

Or

Love makes you do the wacky.

OR

I have to call every person I've ever met right now.

OR

What is your childhood trauma?

Nancy Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:38 AM EST

Marcia Marcia Marcia, Brady Bunch
Up your nose with a rubber hose-Welcome back Kotter.
Oh my nose-Brady Bunch
Sit on it-Happy Days
Master-I dream of Jeannie
MOTHER, OR ENDORA-Bewitch

Karen Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:32 AM EST

Wachu talkin' bout, Willis? - Diff'rent Strokes

We're not worthy! - SNL

Fernanda Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:18 AM EST

"He's dead Jim" Bones - Star Trek
"Fascinating" Mr Spock - Star Trek
'This tape will self-destruct in five seconds'-Mission Impossible

mj Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:15 AM EST

wow..LOTS of current shows..i'm thinking they'll do more classic lines, like the "Lucy, you got some 'splainin' to do!" suggestion, phrases that have become commonplace in everyday speaking.
like:
"Missed it by THAT much" - Get Smart
"Weeeelllll, doggies!" - Beverly Hillbillies (maybe that's just me..)
"Seriously?" - gray's anatomy
"yadda yadda yadda" has GOT to be there..along with "shrinkage!" from seinfeld
any of chandler's "could you BE any more sarcastic" comments...

and i LOVE the star trek "dammit, jim! i'm not a..." suggestion, and tim gunn "making it work"! great!!

Rachel Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 10:10 AM EST

"Just Jack!"- Will & Grace.

natalie roberto Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:50 AM EST

"don't whisper yell at me"(eric to tammy on FNL

Tate Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:47 AM EST

Anything from "Dukes of Hazzard"? Perhaps that laugh that Roscoe used to make? Or possibly "dipstick"? Eh, maybe not...

Brad Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

'This tape will self-destruct in five seconds'-Mission Impossible
'As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly'-WKRP

G money Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

Johnny Drama from Entourage: "Victory!!!"

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

Every man who's ever had statue made of him is one kind of sumbit*h or another--Mal, Firefly
I swear by my pretty floral bonnet I will end you--Mal, Firefly
Big damn heroes, sir--Zoe, Firefly
I'll be in my bunk--Jayne, Firefly
Out .. for .. a .. walk .... bit*h!--Spike, BTVS
When you kiss me, I wanna die.--Buffy to Angel, BTVS
Angel: No friends, no weapon, no family--what's left?
Buffy: Me.
There's more, but my Whedon obsession is showing.

Conor Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:43 AM EST

'where are we' - Charlie in LOST
'Be careful out there' - Hill Street Blues
'Yadda Yadda Yadda' - Seinfeld
'Honey, whats this, whats goin' on' - Karen in Will & Grace

K Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:43 AM EST

X-Files: I want to believe.

Buffy: Raise your hand of ew.

Friends: Oh. My. Gawd.

Friends: We were on a break.

Alias: Mom?

NorthernStar Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:42 AM EST

In the episode the murder's in the mail, Moonlighting did a whole Dr. Seuss dialogue that's absolutely hillarious: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fT4LqmyjexA
And that's just one example. This show is full of brilliant dialogues. Check out the episode Atomic Shakespeare.

Brad in Ohio Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:41 AM EST

'This tape will self-destruct in five seconds'
'As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly'

joules Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:31 AM EST

HIMYM - Barney: "Haaaaaaaave you met Ted?" Spock: "Facinating"

Danielle Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:18 AM EST

When everyone is out to get you paranoia is just good thinking
-Johnny Fever WKRP

Silv Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:18 AM EST

Friends: (Joey) "You made a bet. A bet is a bet. You bet on a bet, and if you lose you lose the bet."

(Phoebe, on how to spell her name)"Pheobe. That's, P, as in Phoebe, H, as in heobe, O as in oebe, E, as in ebe, B, as in bebe, and E as in... Ello there mate."

And brilliant for Joey, after Ross is miserable over the breakup of his first marriage: "What are you talking about? One woman? That's like saying there's only one flavor of ice cream for you. Let me tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors out there. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. You could get them with jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream. This is the best thing that ever happened to you. You got married, you were, what, eight? Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon."
Ross: "I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny. "

Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:17 AM EST

"And that, Marjorie - just so you will know - and your children will someday know - is the night the lights went out in Georgia!"

a classic

Keith Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:13 AM EST

You are the weakest link, goodbye!

Bob Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 09:03 AM EST

Wakey, wakey, hands off shakey
clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose
beer: the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

snape! Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:58 AM EST

From Lost "If we dont live together...we're gonna die alone." That kinda sums up the show, you know?Jack is kinda the poster child and that line is well, the poster line if you will.

McGee Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:53 AM EST

Ditto a lot of the suggestions already here, especially iconic, show-defining lines like:

"Guys, where are we?" - LOST
"I've made a terrible mistake." - AD
"That's what she said." - The Office
"We were on a break!" - Friends
"Donna Martin graduates!" - 90210

I'd also add:
"Did you just gesture to me when you said Kwanzaa?" Wilhemina on Ugly Betty

"Mr. McGee don't make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry." -Incredible Hulk
"Is it because I'm a lesbian?" - L & O
"Who are you working for?!" - 24


Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:49 AM EST

Monty Python: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.

This is an ex-parrot.

graeme Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:38 AM EST

Can someone do the Alias' "I would have waited" monologue?

Or "Francie doesn't like coffee ice cream."

Or "You beat death, Arvin, but you can't beat me".

Becky Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:37 AM EST

"Hello Lover!" -- Carrie Bradshaw
"I'm Bozo the Bush!" -- Samantha Jones

sue Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:33 AM EST

"Guys, where are we?" - LOST
"Save the cheerleader, save the world" - Heroes
"....and loving it." - get smart
"Would you believe...." - get smart
"We were on a break!" - friends
most of houses lines but i like " oh sorry, i thought we were having a state of obvious contest." and "Everybidy Lies"
"Abso-f ing-lutely" SATC
"Picture it...Sicily...1929..." Golden Girls
"Yada yada yada" Seinfeld

Emily Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:22 AM EST

Tons for Hugh Laurie

House to Wilson: "I know your in there, I can hear you caring"

"Her heart beats GregHouse GregHouse GregHouse"

"Idiots are fun, no wonder every village wants one"
You can live with dignity, we can’t die with it."

Not enough tshirts around to cover all the great lines

From the pilot "

Nicole Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:21 AM EST

"how you doin'?"

Peter Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 08:01 AM EST

"I've made a huge mistake" is a must.

And I agree with Garth. "Are you unpoopular? Do you pop out at parties?"

Possibly the funniest five minutes ever in the history of television?

Jackie Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:58 AM EST

Ok, with all the Arrested Development and Buffy going around, how were these missed?

AD: (in a mysterious singsong voice) "Mr. F!"

BTVS:

Willow: I mean, why else would she be acting like such a b-i-t-c-h?
Giles: Willow, I think we're a little too old to be spelling things out.
Xander: A "bitca"?

Ronda Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:53 AM EST

The Emmy's have never recognized the Wire so they won't recognize this classic line.

"SHEEEEEEIT!" Senator Clay Davis.

Jess Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:39 AM EST

okay, heres one from the great and shortlived british tv show spaced:
" oh skip to the end" Tim

orville Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 07:03 AM EST

It's not really a line, per se, but how about Carol Burnett's Tarzan yell? Or "I love it when a plan comes together" from the A-Team. "Make it so" from Star Trek: the Next Generation. You could do a whole show on Seinfeld lines.

rdhardis Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:59 AM EST

In your face space coyote!!!
-Homer Simpson

Charlie J Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 06:09 AM EST

Are you all 12. How about something BEFORE 1980....
Sgt. Schultz "Hogannnn...."
Maxwell Smart "Sorry about that chief."
"Book 'em, Dano."
"Who was that masked man?"
"We can rebuild him...better,faster, stronger."
"Gilligan...."
"Meathead..."
"He's dead, Jim."
"Danger, danger Will Robinson."

Lyles Lunch Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:09 AM EST

The Pretender:

Mr. Lyle: When in doubt, lie.

Mr. Lyle: Oh, um.. I guess.. uh, robbing body parts isn't what it used to be.

Broots: Actually Ms. Parker, I don't think we're in Kansas any more.

Miss Parker: God forgives. I don't.

Miss Parker: You just can't trust a man with a stolen thumb.

Miss Parker: I need a drink. A big one.

GARTH Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 05:03 AM EST

LUCY: "Are you unpoopular? Do you pop out at parties?"

tia77 Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:55 AM EST

"And that, Marjorie - just so you will know - and your children will someday know - is the night the lights went out in Georgia!"
"Consuela, Consuela, Bobeila, Banana fana, Fofeila, Mi my momela, CONSUELA!"
~Designing Women

Jakeem Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:50 AM EST

"All right, let's roll! And, hey! Let's be careful out there" -- Sgt. Phil Esterhaus (Michael Conrad), "Hill Street Blues"

Delon Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 04:01 AM EST

"Blurgh!" Liz Lemon

"By the hammer of Thor!" Liz Lemon

Delon Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:55 AM EST

"How Sex and the City are we? I'm Carrie, she's Charlotte and you're the lady at home who watches it" Jenna Maroney to Liz Lemon


"Ah, Oprah! What are you doing on that horse?" Karen Walker


"I choked on olives bigger than you" Karen Walker to Beverly Leslie


"Hugging? How ethnic. " Jack Donaghy to Liz Lemon


"What's your contingency plan for a shitstorm of this magnitude?" Jack Donaghy to Liz Lemon


"I'm on a Japanese porn star diet. You can only eat paper, but you can eat all the paper you want" Jenna Maroney


"Meg Ryan, the movie star? I'll be the judge of that!" Patsy Stone

Mandi Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 03:21 AM EST

House: "I know how to kill a man with my thumb."
Cuddy: "Who doesn't?"

"I've made a horrible mistake." Arrested Developement

(Karen on Will and Grace right before she walks away) "I forgot. You're boring and my feet still work."

Any of the great Pretender quotes

Paz Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 01:03 AM EST

The entire episode of The Office with the racial sensitivity workshop.
"Oscar do you prefer to be called something other than Mexican? Something less offensive?"

Sex and the City:
"His words said no, but his kiss said yes."
"That's the stance invoked by rapists."

Kelly Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:50 AM EST

The Pretender:
"If you change the story, the ending is up to you"
"Turning points only come if you've got something to turn to"
"Trust can kill you or set you free"
"God forgives, I don't"
"Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone"
"Because I still remember the little girl who gave me my first kiss"
"Yeah, and this is a rental"
"You run, I chase, just like always"

Buffy:
"Life is a neck. Drink deep"
"You're beneath me"
"Can you vague that up for me?"
"It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends. They don't have a rock this big"
"Giles, I'm 16 years old. I don't want to die"
"Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic"
"Give me time"

Angel:
"You're a wee little puppet man!"
"Well, personally...I kinda want to slay the dragon. Let's go to work."

Caitlyn Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:33 AM EST

"Hey" - Felicity

Corran Thu, Aug 14, 2008 at 12:21 AM EST

"Dude...you got some Artz on you" from Hurley. I think everyone knows that one.

"These pretzels are making me thirsty!" from Kramer

Those two for sure.

Megan Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 11:49 PM EST

They really should have someone say the intro to Law & Order ("In the criminal justice system..."); you know it's iconic because it's spoofed so often...

tk Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 10:30 PM EST

My favorite line from "Weeds" - "Don't ask me, I'm f***ed up on cornbread"

ralph Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 10:15 PM EST

As I once said to Celine Dion, why the long face? - Karen Walker, Will and Grace

Pick me. Choose me. Love me. -Meredith, Grey's Anatomy

How you doin? - Joey, Friends

Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 09:29 PM EST

Supernatural
Dean: Driver picks the music, Shotgun shuts his cake hole.
Dean: Dude, you're fugly

Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 09:14 PM EST

Law and Order (one of many) Adam Schiff: You do what you have to do, you're still welcome to my scotch.

Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 09:00 PM EST

You set the tone. - ER

Alan Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 08:49 PM EST

How could not enough viewers recognize the Spunk comment? It's one of the most famous scenes in sitcom history!!

Craig Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 08:47 PM EST

Michael Scott "The Office" - "You expect to get screwed by your company but you never expect to get screwed by your girlfriend."
Barney "How I Met Your Mother" - "It's gonna be... wait for it... legendary!"

Redeye Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 08:14 PM EST

The final line from the last episode of "Sex and the CIty" with Carrie narrating--"The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself, and if you find someone who loves the YOU that you love,it could be fabulous!"

Ceer Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 08:08 PM EST

I mentioned the bisque...Elaine from Seinfeld

Charstin Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 08:05 PM EST

"Driver picks music. Shotgun shuts his cakehole." Dean - Supernatural

Dawn Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 07:26 PM EST

It is so fun reading all the Joey lines from Friends; he's such a doofus!

Dawn Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 07:25 PM EST

Jason, that's the best Barney Legen-dary quote ever!!!!

Dawn Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 07:24 PM EST

to Pam Beesly:

thanks for the great Sports Night quote!!!

Pam Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 07:24 PM EST

the Pretender:
Parker:"I want to kill her not screw her"

The Avengers:
Steed: Mrs Peel, we're needed"

Jen Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:58 PM EST

Two from one of the best tv shows ever - Night Court:

"Fifty Dollars and time served." - Judge Harry T Stone (Harry Anderson)

"...but I'm feeling MUCH better now." - Buddy Ryan (John Astin)

Jessica S(yes, again!) Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:54 PM EST

I also think they could just have Josh Holloway stand on the stage and read off a list of Sawyer's nicknames. That would be a great(and very attractive!) ten minutes of television.

Kristen Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:53 PM EST

Mark, the commentary really isn't necessary. I'm guessing this blog wasn't created so we could trash each other's ideas.

"Well, I sure as hell am not Florence Nightengale!"
-Jarod, The Pretender

"Cute. Not funny, but cute."
-Miss Parker, The Pretender

"Do not fire, repeat do not fire, I'm a friendly. We're *all* friendlies, so lets just . . . be friendly."
-Starbuck, Battlestar Galactica 2003

"If I ever decide to kill you you will be awake, you will be facing me, and you will be armed."
-Malcolm Reynolds, Firefly

Jessica S-again! Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:48 PM EST

Now for Bufy quotes(cause it deserves to have numerous quotes mentioned)

Buffy: I may be dead but I'm still pretty. Which is more than I can say for you.

Cordelia: What is your childhood trauma?!

Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...you know, I'm not thinking about class 'cause that would never happen... I think about kissing you. And it's like everything stops, it's like, freeze frame. Willow kissage

Xander: Like any of that's enough to stop the Dark Master...bator.

Willow: That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and skanky. (pause) And I think I'm kinda gay.

Giles: The earth is doomed.

Faith: Five by five.

Anya's beautiful monologue from "The Body".

And my favorite exchange between Jonathan and Andrew-a translation error involving the season's catcphrase "From beneath you, it devours".
Jonathan: Desde abajo te devora.
Andrew: "It eats you starting with your bottom."

kim in kentucky Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:25 PM EST

Oh boy! - Quantum Leap
Denny Crane - Boston Legal
We're going to need another Timmy - Dinosaurs

Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:23 PM EST

I'm spramped if I do, I'm spramped if I don't. - Will and Grace
NORM!! - Cheers
You set the tone. - ER
Hello, Newman. Yadda yadda yadda. - Seinfeld
Could I be any more...? - Friends
Lucy, you got some 'splaining to do. - I Love Lucy
Aayyyyyy - Happy Days

And if Tim Gunn doesn't come up into the spot light "Make it work." it's going to be a sad event.

kim in kentucky Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:22 PM EST

and hey -- let's be careful out there (Hill Street Blues)

Mark Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:19 PM EST

What's with all of the lines from The Pretender? No offense, but I just read them all and they sucked. I've noticed a lot of people have been putting the series and even characters down which is great, but to me a truly great, iconic line doesn't need a backstory. It's great just because it is.

"Dammit Jim! I'm a doctor not a ..."

Everything ever uttered by Ralph Wiggum

"Dammit Lois! Either you're Wonder Woman or I was a C-section!"

"Screw you guys. I'm goin' home!"

"Hug it out, b*tch"

"Let's be careful out there"

"Hello Seattle, I'm listening"

"Save the cheerleader, save the world."

"D'oh!"

"Oh, Aaaaaaaaar-chie!"

"Lucy, I'm home!"

"Ooooooh, Rob!"

"You got spunk ... I HATE spunk!"

"Hey, meathead!"

"Which one of you b*itches is my mother?"

Jessica S Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 06:14 PM EST

Michael Scott: That's what she said.

Dwight Schrute: The Schrute's produce very thirsty babies.

River Tam: Nothing in the 'verse can stop me.

Captain Mal Reynolds: We done the impossible and that makes us mighty.

Joey Tribiani: How you doin'?

Ross Geller: We were on a break!

Dr. Jack Shepard: Live together, die alone.

Charlie Pace: Guys...Where are we?

Anything regarding St. Olaf(gotta love Rose!) and any lines from any episode of Gilmore Girls:)

Kristen Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 05:38 PM EST

"This is an environment of welcoming, and you can get the hell out" - Michael Scott The Office
"The Schrutes produce thirsty babies" -Dwight Schrute The Office
"Hey You Guys" - The Electric Company
"Oh My God they killed Kenny - You Bastards" - South Park
"Screw you guys, I'm going home" South Park
"Doh" Homer Simpson

Vech Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 05:27 PM EST

Don't wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don't- Grey's Anatomy

We are each other’s keepers, we are the guardians of our own humanity and even though there’s a beast inside all of us, what sets us apart from the animals is that we can think, feel, dream and love. And against all odds, against all instinct, we evolve-Grey's anatomy

Whatever the vertues of balance it's just a pleasant form of insanity- Ally mcbeal

To kill means being hard on the inside...being too hard to love at all i already feel like i can hardly say the words...jails i love you, love, love, love,love, love Giles it feels strange- Buffy

Boundaries don't keep other people out, they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines... or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know. If you're willing to take a chance... the view from the other side... is spectacular- Grey's anatomy

jason Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 05:23 PM EST

Monica: Shut up! The camera adds 10 pounds
Chandler: So, how many cameras are actually on you?
***************
Barney: Legend-wait for it, and I hope you're not lactose intolerant because the next part of this word is- dary!
***************
George: McDreamy's doing the McNasty with McHottie, that McBastard!
***************
Jeff Probst: The tribe has spoken

D Jackson Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 05:20 PM EST

Teal'C from SG-1 (the longest running Sci-Fi show in television history: "Indeed."

pirate Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:58 PM EST

1)That's what she said-Michael Scott
2)yada yada yada-Elaine Benes
3)ESTELLA!!!!!-Elaine Benes
4)Newman!-Jerry Seinfeld
5)No Soup for You!-The Soup Nazi
6)We were on a break!!!-Ross Geller & Rachel Green
7)OH-MY-GAWD!!!!-Janice

Matze Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:49 PM EST

Buffy: I'm the slayer- ask me how!

meg Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:47 PM EST

"Goddamnit, Charlie!" It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

"Wipe!" Monk

"I've made a huge mistake." Arrested Development

Lauren Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:46 PM EST

"Live Together, Die Alone" -Lost

Rebecca Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:29 PM EST

Hiedi Clum: Either you're in or you're out.
Tim Gunn: Make it work.
Randy Jackson: What's up Dawg?
Ed McManon: Herrrre's Johnny!
Jackie Gleason: How sweet it is.
Mr. Big: Ab-so-f...ing-lutely!
Hank Kingsley: Hey Now!
Nip/Tuck: Tell me what you don't like about yourself.

wontonjon Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:17 PM EST

I love the "You have spunk. I HATE spunk" from MTM
"Hey Poodle" "Who's your daddy?" "You are"- Will & Grace
"What's going on? What's happening? What's this all about?"- Will & Grace
"You think THAT'S bad? Remember the time I..."- Family Guy
"Seriously?"- Grey's Anatomy
"Fabulous"- Sex and the City
"D'Oh!"- Simpsons
"Hoo-yeah!"- King of the Hill
"One of these days, Alice"- The Honeymooners
"Rickyyyyy"- I Love Lucy
"Here's Johnny!"
"Auf Whedesin"- Project Runway

Sara Wed, Aug 13, 2008 at 04:14 PM EST

Ross on Friends (of course) : "We were on a break!"
Also Joey imitating Chandler wearing all his clothes : "Could I.. BE wearing anymore clothes?"

The Office, Michael: "Mo mo