Which classic TV lines should the Emmys honor?

Jarod Holliday Thu, Nov 6, 2008 at 04:37 PM EST

"Dance puppet dance."

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:39 PM EST

It's difficult to distinguish between her bite and her bark. - Jarod (The Pretender)

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:37 PM EST

Nothing that can't be denied. - Mr. Raines (The Pretender)

Miss Parker Thu, Oct 2, 2008 at 01:33 PM EST

Trick or treat - Jarod (The Pretender)

Lianne Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 02:15 PM EST

The Pretender:
Miss Parker:
Twitch, and I'll be washing grey matter of the walls.
Miss Parker: Peachy
I have a gun and I'll use it.
Sydney: The Centre wants him alive!
Miss Parker: Preferably.
Broots: I got your back.
Miss Parker: Ohh, now I feel better.
Miss Parker to Willie: Smoke?
Every time Miss Parker answers her phone: WHAT?!
Jarod, after miss parker answers her phone: Aaw, I intentionally wake you from you're deepest sleepfase and all I get is a lifeless 'what'?
Miss Parker to a sweeper when she sees Brigitte coming out of her office: If she's ever in my office again, I'll kill you.
"Gee, I wonder who that could be...'

Lianne Thu, Sep 18, 2008 at 09:44 AM EST

From The Pretender:
Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he could me in bed with his wife.

Miss Parker: PEACHY

Miss Parker: I want to kill her, not screw her!

Sydney: The Centre wants him alive!
Miss Parker: Preferably

Miss Parker: I'm the last chance saloon here, Raines

Miss Parker (@ Brigitte):
You pull a gun on me, no big deal. 'Cause I know you don't have the rocks to pull the trigger.

Miss Parker: You gonna shoot me?!
Sydney: What about that neck scarf?
Miss Parker: It's one of a kind, Sydney.
Sydney: Which is what my good leg will be if we don't stop the bleeding.

Miss Parker: YOU ARE PATHETIC!

Grey's Anatomy:
SERIOUSLY!!!

Izzie: I'm like a proud momma!

Danny: Meredith, what happened?
Meredith: I died and it sucked.

Antoinette Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 07:00 AM EST

You wheeze. I shoot. (Miss Parker)
We both recognise this notion of human equality just perpetuates mediocrity. (Mr. Lyle)
God bless the American dream. (Mr. Lyle)
I'm a lot of different things. But tonight...I'm a truck driver. (Jarod)

Antoinette Tue, Sep 16, 2008 at 06:56 AM EST

The Pretender
Score one for Captain Kangaroo. (Miss Parker)
Sorry luv, don't follow. (Brigitte)
Do you want me to hurt you? (Miss Parker)
Since when do lab rats wear Hugo Boss? (Miss Parker)

Stacey Mon, Sep 15, 2008 at 09:18 AM EST

House: Who da man? I da man.

Antoinette Fri, Sep 12, 2008 at 07:15 AM EST

The Pretender

Nice boots. Snakeskin?
Uh-uh. Gator.

~~

I am sick of being a token on his gameboard.

Stacey Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 07:46 AM EST

From The Pretender
Jarod: You can check out anytime you like but you can never leave.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 05:51 AM EST

The Pretender
Well looks aren't everything. (Broots)
Look, it's Chia me. (Broots)

Antoinette Thu, Sep 11, 2008 at 05:49 AM EST

The Pretender
There's no place like home. (Miss Parker)

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:23 PM EST

The Pretender
There are pretenders among us.

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:14 PM EST

How rude! (Full House)

Stacey Tue, Sep 9, 2008 at 01:13 PM EST

The Pretender

I know that there is always hope, always. (Jarod)

A little bird has whispered into my ear that hunting season just opened, and you're the prize kill. (Miss Parker)

I'm not a psychopath. I'm a sociopath. You see, a psychopath is insane, he doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. A sociopath knows the difference. He just doesn't have a conscience, you know. So he just doesn't care. (Alex)

Antoinette Mon, Sep 8, 2008 at 09:00 AM EST

Everybody lies.(House)

Antoinette Mon, Sep 8, 2008 at 08:04 AM EST

I'm not a pyschopath. I'm a sociopath. A psychopath is insane. He doesn't know the difference between right and wrong. A sociopath knows the difference. He just doesn't have a conscience. So he doesn't care. (Alex)

I'm a shrink. What do you want? (Sydney)

I think I'm going to vomit. (Miss Parker)

Rose Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

The Pretender
And I want answers. And if you don't give them to me, I'll spread the rest of you around like a download from Napster. (Mr. Lyle)
All filled up and nowhere to go? (Miss Parker)

Carlie Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 11:33 PM EST

A couple from Full House
"You Got it dude!"
"Woah Baby!"

From Bewitched
"Calling Dr Bombay Come right away, Dr Bombay"

seagull's lunch Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:20 PM EST

Broots-Have you gone crazy?
Miss Parker-Everybody has.

Miss Parker-If you're lonely call a 900 number.

Miss Parker-Well, your monkeys seem to have a bit of trouble peeling this
banana.

Miss Parker-There's one less vacantancy in hell.

Miss Parker-It's time I shook up the family tree and see who falls out.

Miss Parker- Sometimes I think you and I are the only one around here who are sane. Which doesn't say much about me.

Miss Parker- I want to kill her not screw her.

Miss Parker-Do I look like a babysitter? So, let me get this straight. They can send a man to the moon but neither of you can open Broots' system to back track to see who the leak is in this place.

nikky Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:05 PM EST

Jarod: How's life treating you ?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife .

Patrick Murphy Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 10:02 AM EST

A couple from Friends:

PHOEBE: "I'm a positive person. You're like Santa Claus on Prozac. At Disneyland! Getting laid!!"

RACHEL: "Just so you know, it's NOT that common, it DOESN'T happen to every guy, and it IS a big deal!"
CHANDLER: "I KNEW IT!!!!"

From Sex and the City:
CHARLOTTE: "I don't think I can do a number 2 at a guy's house."
SAMANTHA: "Honey, you're so uptight, you need to do a number 7!"

From Entourage:

TURTLE: "Did you just get c***blocked by Bob Saget?"

And the ever-quotable Norm Peterson from Cheers:

"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"Let's talk about what's going IN Mr. Peterson?"

"Can I draw you a beer, Norm?"
"Nah, I know what the look like."

"What'll you have, Norm?"
"Oh, just give me whatever comes out of that tap."
"Looks like beer."
"Call me Mr. Lucky."

"Hey Normie. How's life in the fast lane?"
"Can't say, Sammy. I'm having trouble finding the on-ramp."

Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:43 AM EST

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:17 AM EST

From The Pretender

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

This was used on "Cheers" first, with Sam (Ted Danson) and Norm (George Wendt)

Mac Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 09:39 AM EST

Miss Parker-"If any of you Munshkins starts to sing I drop the house on you!"- The Pretender
Miss Parker: Maybe I should send you to every Y.M.C.A. in the country first. Or lock you in the Bates Motel with Sydney and Broots.
Jarod: This is about that strip search in Las Vegas, isn't it?
Dr.: Jarod, why don't you tell the group what brought you here?
Jarod: A large cop with bad breath.

nightowl Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:52 AM EST

Miss Parker: You mean a shrink, don't you? Thanks Syd, but I'll leave the mental masturbation to someone else. (Pretender)
Miss Parker: Cousin It woke up and remembered he was Liberace.
Miss Parker: [to Broots] You look like you need to change your pamper.
Miss Parker: [Referring to her nicotine patch] The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it.

nightowl Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:47 AM EST

Jarod: Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone. (the Pretender)
Sandi: Are you telling me you've never been to a strip club before? You know, strange men cramming sweaty wads of cash into strange women's panties?
Jarod: I think I would remember THAT.
Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too? (the Pretender)
Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her. (the Pretender)

Bucky Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:41 AM EST

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.
Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.
Broots: First there's the explosion in the D.C. underground. The there's Miss Parker seeing visions, and the Mr. Raines getting murdered, then unmurdered. And then Mr. Lyle, who used to not have a thumb, getting a thumb and Mr. Raines, who had a thumb, losing his thumb to Mr. Lyle. And then finding out that not only one pretender escaped from the Centre. No, three of them did. And then trying to locate a live psychiatrist, only to find a dead doc and being arrested by a guy who's not really a federal agent. Oh, and while we're at it, why don't we just throw Mr. Parker into the mix?

Zipp Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

the Pretender:

Alex: Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

"Does he ever talk about me?"
"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.

Jarod: And that physique what is it? Body by Chili Dog?

He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Miss Parker.

Star Trek:

Beam me up
Resistance is futile
Space the final frontier.
Energize.
Make it so.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:53 AM EST

The Pretender
Jarod: Subtlety is a virtue in any form.

Jarod: Because I still rememeber the little girl who gave me my first kiss.

Miss Parker: Was it the blood you were worried about or the truth?

Jarod: Nowhere, anywhere, already been somewhere.

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:49 AM EST

Miss Parker: I have a gun, and I'll use it. (The Pretender)

Antoinette Thu, Sep 4, 2008 at 06:47 AM EST

Miss Parker: Do you hear that Broots? Pigs are flying.

Christine Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 11:39 AM EST

The Pretender, Season 2, Episode 12- Toy Suprise

Miss Parker: "I want to kill her, not screw her"

Broots: "I got your back"
Miss Parker: " Ohh, now I feel better"

Broots: "I found something bizarre."
Miss Parker: "What, like hair on your head? "
Broots: "No, that would be fantasy. This is real."

Giuseppe: "So full of anger!"
Miss Parker: "That's my religion."

Jarod: "You make the rules."
Miss Parker: "That's just the way I like it."

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:52 AM EST

The Pretender
Miss Parker: Did you know that everytime you call me 'sis', someone either dies or disappears?

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:46 AM EST

Miss Parker: I spend 80% of my life hunting you and the second I stop you sit down in my lap!
---
Sydney: How do you think he will hold up?
Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:37 AM EST

The Pretender
Mr. Dansen: You’re unattached, aren’t you.
Miss Parker: As unattached as your limbs are gonna be if you keep by eye-balling me like that, Mr. Dansen.

Stacey Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:36 AM EST

The only thing I believe is if Lyle brings in Jarod instead of me -Fenigore won’t be the supplier to the 'organ of the month' club. (Miss Parker from The Pretender)

S Wed, Sep 3, 2008 at 08:34 AM EST

The Pretender
Sydney: How do you think he will hold up?
Miss Parker: Before or after he wets his pants?

Wed, Aug 27, 2008 at 10:34 AM EST

I do not understand the question and I won't respond to it. --Lucille Bluth

DAP Sun, Aug 24, 2008 at 12:08 PM EST

From Sanford & Son
Fred Sanford:
"Dummie".....
"You're just dumb, son".....
"I'll give you 5 of these across the lips"....

Debbie Sun, Aug 24, 2008 at 11:58 AM EST

If you start speaking in tongues, I'll send you to the next life right here and now. - Miss Parker, The Pretender, Ghosts from the Past.

Rachel A. Sat, Aug 23, 2008 at 06:34 AM EST

More quotes from The Pretender :

Mr. Cox :" Well, you are a washer, I hope?
Broots :"Oh yeah. Always. Before and after."
Mr. Cox :"[...]because cleanliness is truth Mr. Broots...cleanliness is truth...

(Brigitte just died in childbirth):
Mr. Cox : "I see I'm too late for the Lamaze"

Purple Giraffe Sat, Aug 23, 2008 at 06:23 AM EST

(The Pretender)

Mr. Parker - "Trust Me Angel"
---------------------------------
Broots - "A key?"
Miss Parker - "Yeah.A piece of metal with teeth on it.You know, those of us that have evolved beyond fire and wheels use it to unlock doors."
---------------------------------
Miss Parker - "WHAT?"
---------------------------------
Miss Parker - "Well, Hitler should have taken up yoga".
---------------------------------
Miss Parker (to Sydney): "You mean a shrink, don't you? Thanks Syd, but I'll leave the mental masturbation to someone else."
------------------------------
Miss Parker: [Referring to her nicotine patch] "The only way this thing is gonna help me is if I roll it and smoke it. "
---------------------------------

The bearded womant Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 07:09 AM EST

From The Pretender :

Jarod - ...trust me!
Argyle - Trust you?No YOU listen to me! Trust... trust!Great word right?Trust!It's on every coin, every bill, every buck and every barn in this country and it's still the one thing that you still can't buy!

The bearded woman Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 06:30 AM EST

Miss Parker: You shouldn't underestimate Jarod. And you should never underestimate me. And the next time that you send me into a building that is gonna explode, it had better blow, because if it doesn't it's gonna be your gray matter they will be mopping up with a toothbrush.

The bearded woman Thu, Aug 21, 2008 at 06:26 AM EST

From The Pretender :

Sydney: Good morning, Miss Parker. Broots.
Broots: Sydney.
Miss Parker: You're looking... refreshed.
Sydney: New underpants will do that to you.
[Miss Parker and Broots look at each other silently]
Miss Parker: Sydney, you made a funny.
Sydney: Stole it, I'm afraid. Last night, I went on a date.
Broots: You had a date!
Miss Parker: [to Broots] That's when two people actually meet instead of typing to each other on a computer keyboard.
[to Sydney]
Miss Parker: So, if it was a date, how can you be sure that those are "your" underpants?

willie Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 08:51 PM EST

Lyle: "What in the hell are you smoking? Why is it that everytime your planets
don't quite line up, you go right to the conspiracy card and come after me?"
Miss Parker: "You want donkey spit, you find an ass."

Miss Parker: "Why don't you shove your nine fingers where the sun don't shine."
Lyle: "I'd love to, but that would still leave me one to get tanned.
"Actually, it's a pre-owned model, but I got a great deal on it, considering
Mr. Raines wasn't using it anymore."
Broots: "You harvested Mr. Raines' thumb?"
Lyle: "Waste not want not. Don't worry about Dad, he'll show up sooner or later."
(chases after the Asian women he was talking to earlier) "Ladies. . ."
Miss Parker: "Just can't trust a man with a stolen thumb. Check Frankenstein's phone records."

the pretender

willie Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 08:49 PM EST

Miss Parker: "You've got something to say lady, say it!"
Brigitte: "Emotions are making you soft"
Miss Parker: "What would you know about emotions?"
Brigitte: "At least I know how to protect the ones I love!"
Miss Parker: "Yeah, the Triunvirate says 'jump' and you say 'on who'"

Miss Parker to Broots: "Well, for starters, hell hasn't frozen over,
pigs aren't flying and you're not the last man on earth."

"Well, Hitler should have taken up yoga."

The Pretender

Kate Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 10:45 AM EST

Firefly

"Well my days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle"

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:19 AM EST

From The Pretender

Miss Parker: " Since when do you hate to fly? "
Broots: " I don't hate to fly. I hate to barf. "

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:17 AM EST

From The Pretender

Jarod: How's life treating you?
Miss Parker: Like he caught me in bed with his wife.

The bearded woman Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 06:16 AM EST

From The Pretender

Sydney : "Raines, what happened to you?"
Raines : "Too many cigarets...not enough vacation"

Fan of Words Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 02:42 AM EST

Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
"Bitca?" - Xander
"Five by five." - Faith
"I wear the cheese. It does not wear me." - Cheese Man epi78.
"Whisper in a dead man's ear,It doesn't make it real." & "There's a traitor here beneath my breast
" & "If my heart could beat, it would break my chest"- Spike epi107
ANGEL
"We all have something to atone for." Doyle
"Fight the good fight - whichever way you can." Angel epi9
"A hart."- Wesely "It's not a heart, it's a bambi." -Cordelia epi43
"We die horribly and painfully, *you* go to hell and I spend eternity in the arms of baby Jesus." Gunn 44
"-I'm not some mystical vending machine here to spit out answers every time *you* waltz in with a problem. I have a heart. Granted it's located in my left butt cheek, but it's still a heart. And that heart is broken! I mean, why is it no one ever cares about *my* destiny? Everyone who walks through that door is all about me, me, me. Well, what about my me? My me's important." Lorne epi49

Antoinette Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 03:06 PM EST

A sharp mind left idle can become a very sharp weapon indeed. - Sydney (The Pretender)

Donna Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:52 PM EST

Spike to Angel (BUFFY) "You think you can fool me! You were my sire, man! You were my...Yoda!"

nightowl Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:29 AM EST

I'd love to see a show where House meets Miss Parker. Both can throw zingers and not bat an eye.

BtVS/Ats writers rule Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:25 AM EST

Once More With Feelings... all of it!

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh, God. Is the world ending? I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow, but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother.

ILLYRIA: A corrupted ruler on such a path sees treachery and betrayal all around him. He cannot suffer intimates and will eventually turn against them.
SPIKE: Guess I don't have to worry about that, 'cause Angel and me have never been intimate. Except that one...

Riley: Morning, Mrs. Summers. You look great.
Joyce: Oh, thank you, Riley.
Buffy: Suck up.
Riley: What? It's a nice outfit.
Buffy: Mmmm-hmmm.
Riley: Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. I'm not sure why.

Olaf: I've told you a thousand times, I have no interest in this Rannveig. Her hips are large and load-bearing, like a Baltic woman. Your hips are narrow, like a Baltic woman, from a slightly more arid region.

Jenna Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:15 AM EST

SPIKE:You listen to me.I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that.I've seen things you couldn't imagine,and done things I prefer you didn't.I don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker.I follow my blood, which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain.So I make a lot of mistakes,a lot of wrong bloody calls.A 100+ years and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of: you.-I'm not asking you for anything. When I say,"I love you,"it's not because I want you or because I can't have you.It has nothing to do with me.I love what you are, what you do, how you try.I've seen your kindness and your strength.I've seen the best and the worst of you.And I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are.You're a hell of a woman.You're the one,Buffy.
SPIKE:Oh,listen to Mary Poppins.He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancyboy accent.You Englishmen are always so-Bloody hell!Sodding,blimey,shagging,knickers, bollocks,oh God!I'm English!

Mer Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:11 AM EST

The Buffy writers deserve all the props they can get.

ANYA: I don't understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she's, there's just a body, and I don't understand why she just can't get back in it and not be dead anymore. It's stupid. It's mortal and stupid. And, and Xander's crying and not talking, and, and I was having fruit punch, and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch - ever, and she'll never have eggs, or yawn or brush her hair, not ever, and no one will explain to me why.
Th Ben is Glory and Glory is Ben scene.
Spike’s last scene in Beneath You.
Buffy: "...so then Kathy's like, 'It's share time.' And I'm like, 'Oh yeah? Share this!'"
Oz: "So, either you hit her, or you did your wacky mime routine for her."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't do either, actually. But she deserves it, don't you think?"
Oz: "Nobody deserves a mime, Buffy."

seagull's lunch Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 07:38 PM EST

The Pretender

"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

"I want to kill her not screw her!"

Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too?

"He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Parker"

Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

Jean Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 05:56 PM EST

BEAM ME UP, SCOTTY!

alex reager Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 04:20 PM EST

Simpson's Comic Book Guy: Worst Episode Ever.

Buffy: After saving a helpless young man that was being chased by a vampire, "But you're just a girl." Buffy responds, "That's what I keep saying."

muniav Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 04:04 PM EST

"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."--WKRP

Justin Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:22 PM EST

Dude I 100& agree with you with ever-so-talented Mr. Laurie to deliver his super smart House lines (or any lame line you shove into his face he can make it sound smooth for that matter)

For me, thrown in some House, Scrubs, or Friends lines in there and it'll seal the deal. This classic TV line gimmick would make the Emmys freaking entertaining.

"Everybody Lies"
"Read less, more TV"

Tate Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 02:56 PM EST

"HEEYYYY YOOOUU GUYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!'

- Rita Moreno, The Electric Company

Kevin T. Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 02:40 PM EST

"We were on a BREAK!"
- Ross to Rachel on NBC's "Friends"

murphy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 01:31 PM EST

The Pretender:
"Does he ever talk about me?"
"He often reminisces about playing tonsil hockey with you in the barn after the Saturday night hoot'n nanny.

Miss Parker: I want to kill her not screw her.

Jarod: And that physique what is it? Body by Chili Dog?

He told us roaches would be the only living thing after a biological holocaust; them and some woman named Miss Parker.

idigress Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 12:39 PM EST

I am late to the game, but I love thses from "The Closer".

"with me Sargaent"
"Thank you, thank you very much"

both lines from Brenda

Laura Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 12:01 PM EST

"It's very simple. Raines dead, me happy"
-Miss Parker, The Pretender

Stacey Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 11:02 AM EST

"Ice cream is good!" - Jarod (The Pretender)

Stacey Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 11:00 AM EST

"It's very simple. Raines dead, me happy." - Miss Parker

matt Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:46 AM EST

"Condoms, Rose! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!" - Dorothy Zbornak, The Golden Girls

"God'll getcha for that, Walter!" - Maude Findlay, Maude

So I'm a Bea Arthur fanboy. Sue me.

DM Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:42 AM EST

Up your nose with a rubber hose!
(Welcome Back Kotter)

Tim Duffy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:31 AM EST

From Mr. Show:

"It's insane, this guy's taint."

j-nine Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:20 AM EST

Frasier when Niles goes to the society ball:
Lacey [with husband]: If there's anything we can do to cheer you up, just let us know.
Niles: [aside] Perhaps a murder-suicide pact.

Amy Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 10:11 AM EST

Na-Nu Na-Nu & Shazbot -Mork & Mindy
By your command - BSG
'Kiss rocks'? Why would anyone want to kiss... Oh, wait. I get it. - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

mmmm dohnuts Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:12 AM EST

CINDY: Hey! The pills you got Max hooked on live with the Tidy Bowl man now.
MAX: Oh, please tell me you're not one of those people -- Because a raindrop fell in the ocean 10,000 years ago and a butterfly farted in India, you and I are sitting right here right now enjoying a cup of coffee that tastes like goat piss. 

MAX: You're such a gentleman… Too bad I'm not a lady.

LOGAN: When some girls don't eat dinner they get real cranky.
ORIGINAL CINDY: By the way, some of those black-helicopter storm-trooper folks stopped by, asking about a transgenic teenage killing machine... I said you were out.
MAX: What is it with guys and lesbians anyway? I mean, what's so damn fascinating about being unwanted by the opposite sex?
MAX: You know, only a bored, rich, liberal, white guy would piss away a fortune to prove he wasn't a bored, rich, liberal, white guy....



mmmm dohnuts Mon, Aug 18, 2008 at 03:05 AM EST

What about Dark Angel?!
EYES ONLY: Do not attempt to adjust your set. This is a Streaming Freedom Video bulletin. The cable hack will last exactly 60 seconds. It cannot be traced, it cannot be stopped and it is the only free voice left in the city.
MAX: Kendra, this is a motorcycle. Its sole reason for being is to go fast, very fast. Not for you to use as a clothesline. Now, make no mistake. I love you as a friend and a roommate, but I love my motorcycle more. Stay away from the bike, okay?
MAX: Girls kick ass. Says so on the T-shirt.
NORMAL: Well, well, well . . . so far, your moron colleagues have come up with the following excuses for why you're strolling in here at the crack of noon - you had a dental emergency, your aunt died . . . again, and my personal favorite from this idiot - you were detained by the sector police for practicing witchcraft. Now, would you care to further insult my intelligence? 
MAX: I overslept.

Rose Sun, Aug 17, 2008 at 08:47 AM EST

The Pretender
'Don't look at me, I watch soaps.' Sydney

jill Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 05:27 PM EST

"Kiss my grits!"

Booth Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 12:15 PM EST

"Maybe a dingo ate your baby" - Elaine, Seinfeld

Rose Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 09:02 AM EST

The Pretender:-
Miss Parker: Broots... I'm flattered. In fact it's kinda sweet. But it's never gonna happen.
(To luis: pretendercentre)

D Sat, Aug 16, 2008 at 12:44 AM EST

FROM DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES

BREE: REX CRIES WHEN HE EJACULATES.

luis Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 08:04 PM EST

im glad for so many fan of the pretender serie .im a fan from mexico and here is hard to find someone who knows about it , so im tryng to find more episode, couse i have only watched the first 2 season and the 2001 movie so im waiting to watch them all apecial the next 5 tempor

k Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 05:25 PM EST

Xander: Some pals of Buffy's took her stuff and now she wants us to help get it back... from her friends who sleep all day and have no tans.

zipp Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 03:28 PM EST

Pretender:
Correction, I'm a sociopath. A psychopath doesn't know the difference between right and wrong; I know the difference, I just don't care. Killing you or eating a popsicle, it's all the same to me.

I want to kill her not screw her.

Dance puppet dance

How's life treating you?
Like he caught me in bed with his wife

Broots: You know the rumor that JFK was kept alive as a vegetable somewhere? Buzzie claims it was right here in SL-18.
Miss Parker: Yeah, next to the alien corpses Nixon showed Jackie Gleason.
Broots: That was here too?

lilrebelgirl01 Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 02:35 PM EST

"Back in St. Olaf..." [Rose, The Golden Girls]
"Picture it Sicily..." [Sophia, The Golden Girls]
"Absu****inglutely" [Big, Sex and the City]
"So what, no f**kin' ziti now?" [A.J., The Sopranos]

S'poseTaBeWorkin' Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 02:16 PM EST

"So you're saying that today is actually yesterday for you. But for us today is today because we can't remember that yesterday was today, right?" -- Gabrielle in "Been There, Done That" (Xena - Season 3) Watch Xena via Instant Watch at Netflix.com (You'll be very glad you did)

tonderk Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 01:04 PM EST

Friends: Monica - Who's coming along in a what now?!
Rachel - Isn't that just spit on your neck, kick you in the crotch fantastic?
Things just got interesting!
Incredible Hulk - You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
Braby Bunch - Pork chops and applesauce.
Supernatural - Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his cakehole.
And of course...
What you talking bout Willis?

Jeanne Bush Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 01:02 PM EST

The Pretender
Life is a gift ~ Jarod

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:13 PM EST

Sneaking in downwind...clever. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:10 PM EST

Move over, Hemingway. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:06 PM EST

Broke it mud wrestling. What'd you do last night? - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:05 PM EST

What?!! - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Lon Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 12:01 PM EST

"Once upon a time, there were three little girls who went to the Police Academy...." Charlie's Angels

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 11:50 AM EST

They didn't let you have a weapon, did they? - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
I finally find some peace of mind and you want to lobotomise it. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Stacey Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 11:48 AM EST

I’m as unattached as your limbs are going to be if you keep eyeballing me like that. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
If you're thinking of jumping, I suggest you go up on the roof and do it right. - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
Hell is hell, Broots - Miss Parker (The Pretender)
It's Cousin It!! - Miss Parker (The Pretender)

Kris Russel Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 10:24 AM EST

The Pretender:
Live is a gift. - Jarod
Since when do lab rats wear Hugo Boss? - Miss Parker
You sold your soul to save your ass. I just hope you don't get burned by the guy with the horns and the little red pitch-fork. - Miss Parker
Doesn't anybody ever really die anymore? - Miss Parker
Geez, I am so underpaid. - Broots
It's called crap, Lyle, and as full of it as you are I'm sure you have some to spare. - Miss Parker
Love transcends death. The people we love touch our lives, even after they're gone. - Jarod

Mark M. Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 09:40 AM EST

"It's a moo point. It's a cow's opinion, so it doesn't matter. It's moo."
Joey from Friends

Doug Fri, Aug 15, 2008 at 04:57 AM EST

"Hi, I'm Larry. This is my brother Darryl and this is my other brother Darryl."