'Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List' recap: It Woz good while it lasted!
Aug 8, 2008, 09:31 AM | by Amy Wilkinson
Categories: 'Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List', Mini TV Watch, Reality TV, Television
Wanna know how I knew this Kathy/Woz liaison was doomed? The only adjectives our funny lady could ever muster to describe her billionaire bear were "smart" and "genius." Throw in a "he's got a great personality" and you've got the perfect trifecta for a fizzle rather than a sizzle. My friend Tara always says you've got to be able to imagine jumping a guy's bones or it will never work. And in this case, it was truly as simple as that. But before the duo parted ways, they must have inked a deal with the Segway devil to product-place the crap out of this completely frivolous gizmo, because it truly was the star of the episode.
I'm not embarrassed to admit that the Personal Transporter (as it's deemed on Segway's web site) scares me in much the same way skis scare me. Neither one has brakes! The Segway actually frightens me more because of the way you stop--by leaning backward. It's one step away from a team-building trust fall with only the pavement to temper your crash landing. It seemed Kathy felt the same way trying to maneuver the Segway around her downhill driveway, and it couldn't have helped having "Debbie Downer" Wozniak there to tell her all about the people who crack their heads open on the sidewalk (and he was talking about the ones on foot). After Kathy cheated death several times. the pair headed to the mathematically sublime (all those perfect Bs!) restaurant, Bob's Big Boy of Burbank, for a fancy meal.
But of course, this show isn't called The Apple Guru, and we spent some non-Woz time with Kathy and Team Griffin, too, on a visit to the University of Southern California; Kath had been invited to discuss her managerial skills ("Such as?" Jessica snidely inquired) with juniors and seniors at the Marshall School of Business. The evening was mostly lighthearted (I want to do a faux Behind the Actor's Studio interview too!), though Kathy did speak seriously and thoughtfully about the First Amendment issues she faces making fun of celebrities for a living. Yay for knowing your rights, girl! And how great was it to find out that Jessica used to be a shampoo girl? Strangely, I can kind of see it.
Back at home, Kath dragged friend Rachel True of The Craft fame to Woz's Segway polo match so she could hook her up with one of Woz's equally intelligent though hopefully less nerdy co-worker. The whole afternoon was about as awkward as you'd expect watching middle-aged men who still live with their mothers attempt to hit on a Hollywood beauty (who totally schooled Kathy on the Segway, by the way). Two suitors, Rob and George, stood out from the nerd squad, so Kathy invited them to dine with her, Rachel, and Woz at some joint called the Hick'ry Pit. But those poor boys couldn't get a word in edgewise thanks to the cockblocker who refused to shut up. Does Woz not pick up on social cues? How many blank stares can one person receive before getting the hint?
The uncomfortably strange evening ended with Kathy and Woz being crowned prom king and queen (sort of) at the Fur Ball charity event. Who could've imagined the dynamic duo's romance would end with a fur ball? Yeah, yeah, it's not that hard.
So PopWatchers, are you sad to see Woz and Kathy part ways? Do you have any Segway pointers for Kath? Do you have a man for poor Rachel? Tell all!
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