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Throwdown: Guitar Hero vs. High School

Aug 19, 2008, 02:10 PM | by Annie Barrett

Categories: Hell to the no!, Things That Make Me Die Inside, Those Crazy Kids!, Videogames

Guitar_hero_l The gaming blog Kotaku has pointed to a ridiculous, TRUE story about a high school kid (pictured -- not!) whose parents were so sick of his ragging about not having ample free time to focus on Guitar Hero that they're letting him not attend high school anymore. The dude thinks he can make a career of playing the highly addictive game "professionally." From now on, he'll be home-schooled, presumably in hard-hitting academic subjects such as Faster Fingers, Long-Term Ocular Degeneration, and Becoming A Bigger Moron.

Fine, that's a little harsh. I'm just jealous! I wish I'd thought of this in my day. I could've won tons of cash at the hypothetical How Many Apples Can Your Yoshi Eat? competitions in my head. What about you: What's the mindless pop-culture career of your dreams? The pixelated sky's the limit. Apparently.

Tate Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 11:24 AM EST

That's a good point. I've spent hours cracking wise under various aliases on here. How would one go about getting paid to do that?

Beth Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 11:14 AM EST

Trivial Pursuit competetor. Or be the professional head-slapper to that kid's idiot parents for allowing him to do this.

Ozzie Al Thor Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 10:40 AM EST

LK has it right. I'd like to be a smartass on the internet and get paid for it. Right now I seem to be doing it for free...

LK Wed, Aug 20, 2008 at 09:13 AM EST

I want your job. I keep sending my resume but I guess it's not good enough. I went to Penn State! Just like another EW.com columnist/blogger.

Nee Nee Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 11:03 PM EST

I think that I should quit my job and tour America, competing in every pop culture trivia competition I can, leading to the ultimate: World Series of Pop Culture. THAT'S my calling in life!

Dixie Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 08:38 PM EST

People have said that I should go on game shows with my vast store of useless pop-culture trivia. If VH1 ever does another "Rock 'n' Roll Jeopardy" I am so there.

Stephanie Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 04:17 PM EST

my dream job consists of two things: going to cooking shows and getting paid to eat the food they make. I get to be on TV AND eat (hopefully) delicious food. screw it. I just want to be a permanent judge on iron chef.

EP Sato Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 02:58 PM EST

I'd like to be a paid Popwatch blogger. The job doesn't seem too hard, the cubicles are nicer than what we've got here, and I'd get the pleasure of talking to Annie B and Mike S as a colleague instead of as a "reader". As Adam B Vary's shown, the job includes lots of free swag, and as Whitney Pastorek has demonstrated, you can get tickets to see pretty much every mega concert on the planet.

To me, that's a dream job.

Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 02:23 PM EST

Where is children's services in that state - I don't care! I used to work at a store that sold beanie babies during the crazy and there was a mother who homeschooled her kids just so she had three extra bodies in line when the new ones came out.

Tate Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 02:00 PM EST

That and educating the masses on classic heavy metal...

Tate Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:55 PM EST

Activision's "River Raid", "Boxing", or "Pitfall" on Atari 2600. I would have been a millionaire by the time I was 12 if I could have done that professionally.

Tate Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:54 PM EST

Activision's "River Raid", "Boxing", or "Pitfall" on Atari 2600. I would have been a millionaire by the time I was 12 if I could have done that professionally.

Winona Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:48 PM EST

Perhaps I could become a professional Beatles trivia junkie. Oh wait, I kinda already am (except I'm not getting paid).

Sabrina Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:41 PM EST

Personally I'd like to drop out of work in order to fulfill my dream of learning the lyrics to every Billboard charting song ever. I'm sure my boss would be cool with that...

Snarf Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:32 PM EST

I love Guitar Hero. I also really, really, really suck at it, but whatever, I still have a blast.

hall monitor Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:26 PM EST

This story made http://detentionslip.org! Check it out for tons of crazy headlines like this from our schools.

Tate Tue, Aug 19, 2008 at 01:18 PM EST

You know, I enjoy the GH series as much as the next guy, but once upon a time kids learned to play an actual guitar in hopes of doing THAT professionally.

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